Hopestream: Parenting Kids Through Addiction & Mental Health

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Among the red rock cliffs of Sedona, a group of young adults sit together in the Arizona sun, meditating with their roshi - a master instructor in zen tradition. Many of the students have already been through wilderness therapy or other recovery programs. They reside at nearby Red Mountain Sedona, an independent living program where they’re learning how to integrate, alongside more traditional therapies, mindfulness practices to create a healthy, productive, and sustainable substance-free life.

My guest today is the founder of Red Mountain, Josh White, who is also a clinical mental health counselor, certified group psychotherapist, and second-ranking practitioner of Ten-Chi kenpo in the world. 

In this episode, we discuss the incredible power that meditation and mindfulness practice can give young people in recovery - stepping outside cravings and impulses, observing them, interrogating them, and allowing them to pass. This conversation will also be my first foray into the issue of eating disorders, which Josh will place in the overall context of addiction. 

Over the course of this discussion, we’ll talk about:

• How we build the muscles of mindfulness
• How young people today respond to the concept of using mindfulness in their quest for recovery from substance misuse
• The difference between meditation and mindfulness, and their individual roles in recovery
• How the isolation of covid and social media are affecting eating disorders and body issues in young people

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Red Mountain Sedona

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Recovery Golden Nuggets episode.
I’m sharing a curated collection of some of my favorite interview clips with people in recovery to celebrate National Recovery Month.  All of these guests have been to the darkest places –  jail, suicide attempts, overdoses. And yet, all have completely changed their lives, with several now working to help others in the field of recovery.

Their direct, personal experience with addiction gives them insight and perspective that can’t be found without it. The collection is inspirational to those working toward their own recovery but also for those seeking to understand and support the recovery of loved ones.

These excerpts represent hours of inspiring interviews; some will make you want to go back and listen to the original episodes. To make it easy, I’m putting links to each episode in the show notes. If you need a dose of hope, join us as we look back over the last four years of Hopestream.

EPISODE RESOURCES:
Guests from this episode and their original episode:

• Adam Sud - episode 177
• Jeremy Melloul - episode 90 & 133
• Mark LaPalme - episode 128
• Mark Pepper - episode 76
• Rebekah Mutch - episode 113

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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
For years, listeners of Hopestream have heard stories about my own family’s experiences with substance misuse and recovery. Today, after 184 episodes, I’m thrilled to finally introduce you to my son, Enzo. 

I’m inspired by how he’s built a meaningful life free of substance misuse and for the time and energy he now dedicates to helping kids struggling with their own path to recovery. This is a conversation between two people who did (mostly) everything wrong but now spend our lives trying to help others meet these challenges more prepared than we were.

For this conversation, I tried my best to step outside the situation I was so intimately involved in – all the confusion, anger, and fear – and talk to Enzo like any other guest. During the conversation, we discuss:

• The early influences of divorce and Enzo’s shifting friend group on his eventual high-risk lifestyle and substance use
• Why it’s always hard to answer what treatment program “worked” for him
• What Enzo was (and wasn’t) thinking about during his addiction
• The consistent characteristics he sees in kids in treatment, and how he connects with them
• Enzo’s near-fatal overdoses and the intense medical recovery that followed
• Why it’s so important to spend judgment-free time with kids caught up in substance use

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
I’ve been reminded of something over the past few months: Stories of hope are all around us, even if we don’t hear them.

Just last week, I got to speak to my coworker from a former life, Steve Andrews, whose son had a frightening brush with death during the throes of his substance abuse. Both Steve and his son are now living fulfilling lives, and Steve himself has become the caretaker of our men’s community, The Woods.

Since then, I was also contacted by today’s guest, Matt Elliott, a client of mine from my life in the corporate world. Until he got in touch, I hadn’t seen or spoken to Matt in five years. I had no idea that he had his own recovery story to share.

In this episode, we talk about the traumas Matt put his family through as a young man, the role substances played in his perception of his own value as a human being, how his recovery played out, and what his younger self needed to hear at the time. 

This National Recovery Month, it’s worth pausing to reflect on just how many families we interact with daily who’ve endured substance use in their families – and how many come out the other side stronger, wiser and more compassionate.
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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Today, I have the privilege of introducing the new host of The Woods, our community specifically for dads, stepdads, and male co-parents.

After Steve Andrews and his wife got sober through Alcoholics Anonymous as a young couple, their sons never saw them drink or use substances. They warned their kids of the alcoholism and mental health issues on both sides of the family, but when one of them began misusing DXM, Kratom, alcohol, and marijuana in middle school, the couple found themselves in an increasingly volatile situation.

Meanwhile, Steve was also trying to maintain a stressful and demanding work life at the office – with me! Yes, Steve and I worked at the same ad agency while our families dealt with the chaos of substance misuse.

We found in each other what Hopestream Community provides to all its members: the company of someone who truly understands what you’re going through.

Steve is now a practicing therapist, and today we welcome him as host of The Woods with a discussion that includes:

• The frightening story of Steve’s son losing control – and how he moved into recovery
• Proof that there is no “one size fits all” way for our kids to find recovery
• How Steve’s new position with The Woods brings full circle yet another personal story of hope
• How a child with substance issues affects work-life perspective and experience
• How we can take accountability for our actions without falling into the “it’s-all-my-fault” trap

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Steve’s website

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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
When you have a complex child, all your conversations and relationships might feel more strained. If you're like me, you sometimes find yourself at a complete loss for words and struggle with how to diffuse or launch your communication in a helpful and productive way.

If this sounds like you, you're in luck as I'm sharing ten very simple and highly effective phrases you can use when you're stuck for words or your words aren't currently working.

And to make it even easier, there's a PDF in the show notes you can download free, so you've got these ten phrases handy when you need them.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Episode 182 Cheat Sheet: click to download

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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Sometimes you can gain a different understanding of things by looking at them through a new lens. Today's bite-size episode does that for you as the parent of a young person who struggle with substances - in the form of a short story.

You'll hear about a restaurant owner and her strange, secret menu. And for those who eat from it, it can provide benefits and gifts not available anywhere else.

It's one you may want to single-task for to absorb the full meaning. Created with love and compassion by me, just for you. 
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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Every once in a while, I have the opportunity to speak with parents whose experiences are a perfect case study of why Hopestream Community exists. This episode with Eleanor and Dave is one of those conversations – especially for those of you with kids who are young adults living outside the home.

Eleanor and Dave raised their two children in Silicon Valley, where they had a nice house, a beautiful community, and access to California's best schools. But as many parents recognize, economic stability is not necessarily a shield against substance misuse.  

In the span of one short year, Eleanor and Dave watched their daughter spiral from a university student to homeless, living in her car and using fentanyl regularly.

After a brief period of denial about the seriousness of her situation, the couple was  forced to accept the reality in front of them. The hard work that followed should be held up as an example of what to do right, and that’s why I’m speaking with them today.

You'll hear how Eleanor and Dave implemented many of the tools and strategies we talk about frequently in Hopestream Community – creating supportive boundaries, rooting actions in love and empathy, implementing strategies from The Invitation to Change Approach, performing loving, family-based interventions, and so much more.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Book: Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change
• The Beyond Addiction Workbook for Family and Friends

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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
In this coaching episode we reconnect with Stream member Alice who I spoke to 18 months ago, when her son was in the worst of his substance misuse. And what incredible growth and development her family has seen since then!  

After wilderness and a therapeutic boarding school, Alice’s son is now an 18-year-old holding down a heavy load including work, volunteering and school in sober living. But the everyday things that Alice used to do for him at home – laundry, groceries, appointments, picking up prescriptions – are starting to create a level of stress that is no longer buffered by substances.

Alice learned a lot over the past 18 months about natural consequences and setting boundaries, but now that her son is well on his way to full recovery, she can’t help but want to jump in and help maintain everything he’s worked for. How much should she get involved?  Should her boundaries shift? And how much should he participate in drawing those boundaries?

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Telos (Therapeutic Boarding School)

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Today we tackle the difficult topic of shame and how it can affect our entire families.  As parents of kids who are misusing drugs or alcohol, it’s common to experience a profound sense of failure or guilt when their lives begin to spin out of control.

And as today’s guest says, “How could you not?”  For many of us, it can seem like our kids are entirely different than the people we raised.  As a substance use disorder progresses, they may engage in ugly behaviors like lying, cheating, or stealing that are contrary to everything we taught them.  It’s not hard to understand why that often leads to a sense of shame in parents.

On this episode, I’m joined by Patrick Hawkins, founder of Triple Divide Lodge, a 90-day program that combines residential treatment and adventure therapy for young men ages 14-19.  Patrick’s wealth of experience helps us work through these family dynamics of shame and how they affect not just our kids but us as well.

You'll hear:

• How “spontaneous rationalizations” trump unidentified and unresolved feelings in our kids
• How those feelings pile up over time into chronic emotional distress, which is often used as a subconscious justification for continuing their substance use
• Why kids are truly unaware that the problem is addiction, and why that should alleviate so much of the guilt we may feel
• Why turning our child into our parental report card leads to emotionally driven behavior – and why that’s rarely good

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Triple Divide Lodge

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.