ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Friday, Saturday, Sunday. If you’re a parent of a child misusing drugs or alcohol, you know why these three days can send you into a tailspin. The free time and lack of structure mean our kids will likely find themselves in risky situations. In this coaching episode, I met with Marie- a Stream Member who booked this last-minute session with me on a Friday, which told me something was brewing. 

Marie has a son who has experienced trauma and struggled with substances and has been attending a therapeutic boarding school. Yet, for many reasons, it wasn’t an ideal fit. Now he’s back at home, doing online school, and not in treatment, but 17 days sober. The bright spot in this story is that this mom and son are close, have good communication, and he’s expressed that he wants to stay sober. Listen as we explore how Marie can initiate some hard conversations to reduce her anxiety and increase the chance of her son choosing support and sobriety over the weekend. 

In this episode, you’ll learn: 

• How previous trauma can complicate recovery unexpectedly
• Why we have to consistently affirm our kids even when we don’t love their behavior 
• How Marie is helping her son assess the risk factors associated with different friends and social scenarios
• Why our kids need to know that we’re also learning and not confident, either
• What Marie is learning about the impact of choosing self-care on this path

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Hopestream podcast episode using "SURF" communication skills: www.brendazane.com/hopestream/73

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
It’s tough to come to terms with how little control we have over whether our kids choose substances or healing and recovery. In this episode, you’ll get to hear from Dina Cannizzaro. She’s a mom who has been through hell and back but has channeled all that fear and anxiety into actionable steps toward relearning how to connect with her son and harness the surprising power of self-care.

Hear how far she and her son Parker have come now that he’s been in active recovery for six years. You’ll also hear how she had to repair relationships she let suffer (including her other children) as she became all-consumed in her fear and efforts to support her son.

You’ll be thrilled to know she will also be your guide through the Beyond Addiction Study Group, so be sure to sign up for that ASAP, as it starts November 7!

In this episode, you’ll learn: 

• Why Dina chose to push through her crippling fear of rock climbing
• How she invested in the relationship with her son even when he wasn’t ready to be in contact
• What anticipatory grief is and how it showed up in Dina’s life
• What helped Dina realize she was just as sick as Parker but without the influence of substances
• Why she won’t stop sharing her story with anyone who will listen

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
It is an incredibly exciting week as we get to announce the opening of The Woods, our men’s community for those who identify as dads parenting teens who are struggling with substance misuse. I am honored to introduce you to Bill Guy, who is leading this new tribe of courageous men. He’s been in your shoes, and he tragically lost a son to an overdose. Bill discovered resources like CRAFT through the book Beyond Addiction and was blown away by the way it changed his relationship with his son, even in his last days. 

While Bill continues to grieve the loss of his son, he has found an incredible sense of purpose empowering other parents to connect with their kids and help motivate them toward healthy change. Join us to hear his story which includes both heartbreak and healing and why he’s thrilled to host and support this private community for dads.

In this episode, you’ll learn: 

• Why motivation trumps manipulation when parents are trying to get their kids to accept help for substance misuse
• How Bill describes the confusion and disappointment he felt watching his son struggle
• The physical and emotional signs that inspired Bill to take his own health seriously
• How Bill was able to stop blaming and controlling his son and have a relationship with him regardless of his drug use
• Why men need other men in a safe community like The Woods

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• The Woods Community Founding Memberships
• The Partnership To End Addiction 
• Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Bribing. Shaming. Forcing. Manipulating. Yelling. These are just some of the approaches I tried while parenting my son who was struggling with a high-risk lifestyle and substance use. You likely have too. It took me a long time to accept that none of that was working. 

But through the book Beyond Addiction, the CRAFT approach, and specifically The Invitation to Change, I discovered our kids’ behaviors make sense and substances work really well - until they don’t. This understanding shifted everything and I haven’t stopped talking about it since. I had one of the Beyond Addiction authors, Carrie Wilkens, Ph.D. on early in the podcast and I’ve invited her back to catch up post-pandemic and learn about a new companion workbook that’s just come out for parents. 

Join us for this inspiring conversation as we unpack common stigmas around addiction, understand why using CRAFT and The Invitation To Change approach is not condoning substance use, and why staying curious and building connection is the key to motivating your child to make positive changes. I had a few lightbulb moments myself talking with Carrie and hearing her compassionate and practical approach to helping people change.

In this episode, you’ll learn: 

• Why compassion is crucial for navigating a post-pandemic world
• How to respond when your child is ambivalent about substance use
• Why self-awareness and self-compassion work comes first for parents
• How to get a hesitant spouse, partner, or co-parent on board with CRAFT
• That fear will be a consistent companion on this journey, but it doesn’t have to own you

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Beyond Addiction Book
• Beyond Addiction Workbook for Families and Friends
• The Center for Motivation and Change (CMC:FFC)
• CMC Treatment Program

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
On this road, we never can quite predict if or when our kids will decide to choose recovery for themselves. So if that moment feels miles away, or you’re just desperate to get a window into your child’s mindset, this story of recovery is absolutely for you.

In this episode, I’ve invited Jo Colette, a mother, wife, and brilliant tattoo artist to share her journey from addiction (including IV heroin) homelessness and violence to sobriety, and then active recovery. 

You'll hear Jo describe the confusion of growing up in an emotionally unsafe home and her desperate struggle to find a place to belong. Her insights reinforce why drugs and alcohol are often a very practical solution for struggling teens without a lot of tools in their tool belt. She also shares the nightmare of her rock bottom, an insane hitch-hiking detox story, and how she began the real work of finding recovery.

In this episode, you’ll learn: 

• Why even experimenting with drugs can shine a light on suppressed pain
• About Jo’s difficult transition moving from homeschool to a public high school
• How easily she began to normalize a high-risk lifestyle
• How Jo would describe the moment she was ready make a change
• An important insight about the myth that people must go to formalized treatment to get sober and find recovery
• What she’s savoring most in this season of her new life

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Authentic Adversity (husband Chris Howe’s) YouTube
• Connect with Authentic Adversity on Instagram @authenticadversity
• We Are Those People Instagram @wearethoseppl
• Check out Jo’s Website

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
One of the hardest things to surrender in parenting is our own dreams for our kids and accepting what they’re choosing for their lives as they gain independence. In this very relatable coaching episode, Karolina shares how a combination of complex learning difficulties, feeling socially isolated, and the pandemic all created a perfect storm for her son to have escalating behavioral and substance use issues.

While Karolina’s son was able to attend wilderness therapy and residential treatment, you’ll hear how challenging it was to watch him choose to live on his own after receiving so much support from his family. Through our conversation, Karolina recognizes just how resourceful and determined her son is, and how her nagging tendency may be pushing him away rather than motivating him. I offer her a challenge to detach in a healthy way, avoid jumping to worst-case scenarios, and still leave the door open for her son to accept support on his terms.

In this episode, you’ll learn: 

• Some early educational and social challenges that make children vulnerable to misusing drugs and alcohol
• How Karolina and her husband had to make difficult concessions to stay in relationship with their son
• Why we have to commit to recognizing and celebrating our kids’ strengths
• How to tap into your child’s interests to foster deeper connection
• Why we have to stay present and resist the need to “play out the movie” of our kids’ lives

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
In this special episode, I’ve invited Jeremy Melloul, owner of MOLT Clothing company back on the show. Jeremy joined me on episode 90 to share his story of early exposure and addiction that very nearly took his life a few times and what intercepted that risky path for his life.
 
We covered so much ground in that episode that I thought it would be great to check-in with Jeremy and see how things are going. We talk about what recovery looks like on a daily basis, how he has to fight to overcome his desire to isolate, and the wisdom he’s gained along the road.
 
Additionally, we explore the impact of social media on the recovery journey and why choosing the slower fix is a process that requires a lot of self-compassion. Don’t forget to go check out wearmolt.com where you can buy the favorite guy in your life an incredible t-shirt or hoodie. The bonus? You can feel good knowing some of your money will go to support other individuals in their journey towards sobriety.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• How recovery is an active life-long journey
• Why Jeremy is doing the work of discovering his passions outside of business
• What it takes to start choosing the “slower fix”
• Why self-care means steering clear of social media for Jeremy
• How MOLT Clothing is giving back to a sober-living scholarship with every purchase

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Episode 90: from heroin needle to sewing needle, giving back through recovery with Jeremy Melloul
• Check out the Store: www.wearmolt.com
• Connect on Instagram: @wearmolt

_____________________

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
In a follow-up to episode 131 where I had a conversation with Dr. Gabor Maté about his new book, The Myth of Normal, I'm diving into four key insights I gleaned from the book and from our time together.

While there are many more, these four elements of Gabor's overall message in the book and his work as a whole stood out, and I felt it was important to share them with you.  These insights are ones that parents with kids struggling with substance use will find especially relevant as they navigate the wild ride.

I share my thoughts on these key concepts from the book:

• self-awareness and self-compassion
• the link between stress and illness
• authenticity, and
• anger

If you haven't already, take a listen to episode 131, then this will be a perfect follow-up. Or, start here and get curious about the more profound conversation with Dr. Gabor Maté and queue up 131 next.

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Are you ready for a deeply personal and thought-provoking hour? Dr. Gabor Maté is well known for his unflinching look at childhood trauma and how it manifests in our lives, and he does not disappoint in this raw, honest, and candid conversation. I'm even the recipient of an impromptu therapy session looking at my parenting and childhood patterns, an essential piece of work to do when our kids and underlying family dynamics struggle.

Dr. Maté's newest book, The Myth of Normal, explores themes around our unmet needs, their relationship to pain, and how we adapt to that pain to survive. As parents, it can be uncomfortable looking at ourselves as we work to heal our families and understand our kids' pain and suffering. He also shares the proven connection between repressed emotions and chronic illnesses  - and ways we can begin to heal - ourselves and our families. 

We cover critical topics like; 

• caregiver stress, 
• the sensitive child, 
• parental guilt,
• a new view of ADD, ADHD and ODD diagnosis.
• generational trauma (which you might not even recognize as trauma), 
• women's role in society as "shock absorbers."
• the incongruity of the  "tough love" concept,
• the need for a return to the communal approach to parenting,
• and two vitally interconnected needs our kids have - attachment and authenticity
• plus so much more

It’s a do-not-miss episode that may shed new light on some dark areas you’ve been pondering about yourself and your child who’s struggling.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• The Myth of Normal & all of Dr. Maté’s books 
• Book: It Didn’t Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
• Book: The Orchid and the Dandelion: Why Some Children Struggle and How All Can Thrive 
• Hello Again Project with Daniel and Gabor Maté

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
There are some thoughts, questions, and situations we face as parents of kids who are misusing substances that make us question our parenting, our sanity and even our humanity. Because these tricky topics don't often make it into the conversation, we're tackling them today as a way to air issues you may be wrestling with - but doing it in a safe, private place.

Cathy Cioth, my business partner and host of The Stream Community joins me as we talk about 9 complex topics including:

• Should I be drinking or using any kind of substance myself when my child is struggling or in treatment?
• Why do I not feel intimate or attractive, and am I supposed to be right now?
• What does self-care actually look like because I can't imagine doing it
• Am I a horrible person for thinking life might be better if my child wasn't around anymore?
• I'm pretty sure my son or daughter will never speak to me, and we won't have a relationship if I impose treatment
• Should I be getting a therapist too, or is it just my child who needs help?
• What happens if I say, "I'm done. I can't do this anymore?"
• It sucks to see my friends and family member's kids doing so well - I resent my child for what I'm going through and what I'm missing out on
• Am I supposed to mortgage my house and empty my 401K to pay for treatment, and if I don't, am I a terrible parent?

Join us as we dive into the things we rarely talk about and gain some ideas and insights you can consider for your family's situation.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Beyond Addiction, How Science and Kindness Help People Change (book)
• Tonia Ahern episode #127

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.