Hopestream: Parenting Kids Through Addiction & Mental Health

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Parents trying to navigate treatment with their kids are already pushed to their mental and emotional limits. When you're in it, you're so overwhelmed that it's hard to think about something as frustrating and time-consuming as insurance. But my guest today reminds us the earlier you get started and the more thorough your documentation, the more likely you are to receive coverage for the resources and services your child needs.

I contacted Mark DeBofsky before I even finished reading the first article I saw about his work. Finally, here was someone who could not only explain how insurance companies work in the context of mental health and substance use treatment, but also how you can increase the odds of receiving fair coverage.

Mark is the namesake and President of DeBofsky Law, which specializes in litigating denial of claims by large insurance companies and corporations. Over the course of this conversation, we cover a lot of ground related to the infuriating process of receiving coverage for treatment services. Among other things, we discuss:

• The confusing array of coverage guidelines used by companies and the courts
• The industry of physicians contracted by insurance companies to back up their denials
• What parts of treatment you should expect to get covered by insurance
• How A.I. is being used to both support and deny claims
• Why fewer than 2% of claim denials are appealed
• What steps you can take to set your family up for the best possible level of coverage

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• https://www.debofsky.com/
• NPR Medical Bill of the Month
• ProPublica article - Uncovered: How the Insurance Industry Denies Coverage to Patients
• Kennedy Forum for Mental Health Parity
• Wilderness Therapy Ruling May Deter Broad Policy Exclusions

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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
On today's coaching episode, we welcome our first dad from our community for dads, The Woods.

As a father, Brad has some great things going for him. He still has a meaningful connection of supportive parenting with his ex-wife, who first introduced him to the podcast, and he’s a member of The Woods, our community for dads, which means he’s not doing this alone. His 18-year-old son is in a good place as well, currently residing in a sober living community after attending wilderness therapy and a residential program.

Still, Brad is facing a lot of unknowns. Naturally, he wants his son to have every opportunity for success, but what does helpful parenting look like with a child in early recovery? How does a dad know when to step in and when to hold back and let his son just figure things out on his own? To add to the complexities, Brad’s son is potentially coming home to visit soon, which is exciting and also nerve wracking.

In this coaching episode, Brad and I talk about learning to trust through fear, and becoming a source of accountability without driving his son away or infringing on his decision-making. It's a very positive episode that should give parents a glimpse of life down the road with a child successfully navigating early recovery.
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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
So many kids who turn to substances are brilliant. Often that brilliance gets wielded in a variety of unhealthy ways and can wreck the power balance of an entire household. Perhaps you've felt telltale signs like being held hostage with gaslighting and emotional blackmail. Perhaps you woke up one day to realize you've been walking on eggshells, allowing your child to control the interactions in your own house for months.

My guest today says that there are ways to right the ship, stop negotiating when appropriate, and still communicate effectively with our kids. Dr. Janet Sasson-Edgette is not only a mother of three, but also a child and adolescent psychologist who has written half a dozen books in the field. Today we discuss:

- The surprisingly simple and genuine conversational techniques that sets Dr. Edgette apart from many other therapists

- Why it's important for your child to know you as a person (not just as a parent)

- Why kids are actually craving realism and accountability in their therapeutic relationships

- Some strategies from her book, Stop Negotiating With Your Teen: Strategies for parenting your angry, manipulative, moody or depressed adolescent
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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Long before Olivia became a single parent, she was forced to face her own trauma. The heartbreaking challenges she's faced since then have piled an incredible amount of stress onto an already complex life.

The difficult journey for Olivia's son began with his father's brain injury and substance misuse, leading to a messy divorce that would have been difficult for any child. Working full-time as a single parent, Olivia has faced her son's depression, took the blame for the divorce, and dealt with her son’s refusal to attend therapy. Without family support, Olivia has done her best to navigate the situation independently and has bolstered her team with a coach to help her navigate the storm.  

Olivia’s son began experimenting with marijuana at the age of 13 and soon moved on to high-potency THC concentrates. He became more aggressive, his anger more volatile, and by the age of 15 was experiencing THC-induced psychotic breaks. He’s since been diagnosed with OCD, PTSD, ODD, marijuana use disorder, anxiety, and depression.

Between the COVID school closures and his mental health issues, Olivia’s son hasn't been in a structured learning environment for years but says he wants to go back to school. Olivia isn't sure this is a good idea for her and her son. After nearly a decade of this struggle, she’s depleted, exhausted, and depressed.

Today, we'll talk about how these kinds of persistent and extreme issues affect parents going through the worst of it and what Olivia might do to survive as she prepares to make some big life decisions.

If you've been through the wringer with a challenging child and it feels like no one else could possibly understand your journey, Olivia's story is a reminder that the Hopestream Community is full of people who DO truly get it.

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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
When Julie Merberg returned home from a work trip to find a scale and a pile of baggies on the table, she knew her son's involvement with substances was getting out of control.

In the early days of the Hopestream Community, not many people showed up to the group calls I offered to members. Julie and I were the only people who showed up the day I met her, but connecting with her one-on-one in the depths of her crisis was an incredible blessing for me and the entire community.

Foreshadowing her current work with Hopestream, Julie had already formed her own neighborhood support group of parents after her 16-year-old son began abusing Xanax and marijuana. As with so many of us, Julie and her husband tried to change their son’s behavior with punishment and control but found that it only made him more oppositional and defiant.

Three years later, Julie's son has embraced a life of recovery, and they both work to share the wisdom they've gained while getting there. In this episode, we discuss:

• The importance of trusting your gut when choosing therapy and recovery
• How untreated anxiety was driving Julie’s son to self medicate in unhealthy ways
• Why parents shouldn't expect to find "the one that works" when it comes to treatment programs
• Accepting that relapse is often part of the journey to recovery for young people
• How self-care is also a service to our families
• Why Julie thinks that the all-or-nothing 12 Step approach doesn't work well for teens

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• CMC:FFC
• Beyond Addiction book
• Free Spirit Experience
• Julie’s website
• Hazelden Betty Ford Adolescent program
• Theoppositeofaddiction.substack.com
• recoveryworksny.com

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
The experience of coming out as an LGBTQ+ youth varies wildly across the country and world. In some families and communities, it’s celebrated. In others, condemned. But my guest on this episode of Hopestream says that we often forget about the “coming in” process needed for parents and families of those youth.

Matt Seelos has worked in the mental health field for 20 years. He’s currently a primary therapist at Elevations Residential Treatment Center in Utah, where he administers an alphabet soup of therapeutic practices – EMDR, DBT, CBT, and ACT among others. In addition to all of this work, Matt goes out of his way to practice compassionate therapy specifically geared toward the needs of LGBTQ+ youth.

But he also understands that the coming out process for kids requires an acceptance process for parents. He points out that while a young person has usually been internally processing the reality of their identity for months or years, parents can often feel it’s being sprung on them suddenly. Part of Matt’s job is helping parents come to terms with the loss of expectations and even grief that may accompany the coming out of their kids.

In this conversation, we cover:

• a quick primer on identity and pronouns
• how the stresses of LGBTQ+ identity in some communities can contribute to mental health and substance use issues 
• how the “coming in” process works
• how the “floating back” method helps kids process their feelings of not belonging
• the importance of curiosity over judgment

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Navigating life with a young person who’s misusing substances and struggling with mental health can feel like a ride in a very stormy sea. Parents need to be well equipped for the journey but often aren’t sure what the mandatory, life-saving provisions are to bring along. 

In this episode, Cathy Cioth, Hopestream Community co-founder, joins me to share our top six recommended provisions for parents. We identify the items we wish we’d had in our lifeboat when we started our expedition so you can be better prepared.

EPISODE RESOURCES:
Our six recommended provisions:

1. Beyond Addiction Workbook for Friends and Family Members
2. The Invitation To Change Workbook
3. A journal - Cathy’s favorite is Day One
4. A Bible or other spiritual reference, like Jesus Calling
5. A token or other physical item that grounds you and brings you peace and calm
6. A personal trainer and chef like Blue Apron or Hello Fresh

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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
When Ann Batchelder discovered her daughter’s suicidal thoughts, bulimia and substance misuse, she desperately sought wisdom in the places many of us do: therapy, 12-step programs, and Buddhist teachings. 

But the ancient Greek myth of Demeter and Persephone gave her the greatest solace and understanding of parenting a wayward child. As Ann “did the work” to preserve mindfulness and realism about what she could control, she also began writing about her family's experiences.

Now, a decade after it began, her book is complete. Craving Spring: A Mother’s Quest, a Daughter’s Depression, and the Greek Myth that Brought Them Together is not just a memoir but a universal call for the renewal of families strained by the burden of substance use, mental health, and eating disorders.

In this episode, we discuss:

• the power of Demeter and Persephone’s story for mothers (and all parents) of children struggling with substances
• why it’s so difficult for parents to accept that they are going through trauma as well
• finding the focus and willingness to care for our own well-being in chaotic times
• the burden Ann was unknowingly placing on her daughter and how she changed herself
• how the immense growth and change (of both Ann and her daughter) during recovery has led to a richer, more fulfilling relationship

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Craving Spring, A mother’s quest, a daughter’s depression, and the Greek myth that brought them together (buy here)

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
The time period of recovery between a treatment program and responsible, independent living is an incredibly tricky one to navigate. My guest today says this is especially true in New York City, where marijuana smoke drifts down streets lined with thousands of alluring bars.

After her son’s overdose death in 2014, Eve Goldberg founded BigVision, a recovery peer community in NYC that provides a social club of sober young people looking to separate themselves from temptations that permeate every corner of the city. 

Whether it’s with basketball tournaments, go-karting, half marathons, or trapeze classes, BigVision creates a cool, supportive social network for young adults in all stages of recovery.

In this episode, Eve and I discuss:

• Our culture’s saturation with alcohol – even in athletics
• How the stigma surrounding recovery made it hard to find a space for BigVision’s new headquarters and activities
• The difference between therapy and therapeutic fun

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• BigVision NYC

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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
For parents who are on a roller coaster ride with their kids who misuse drugs and alcohol and struggle with mental health, recovery can sometimes feel like an elusive dream. 
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So, after 187 episodes where I've talked with experts, people in recovery, parents, siblings, and my son who's in recovery, I wanted to distill down 10 of the top eye-opening recovery insights I've gathered on this journey. ⁠I also share related episodes for these so you can dive deeper into the ones that resonate most. 
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If you're looking for ways to stay positive and hopeful or wondering how to be helpful as your child is in the early stages of recovery, this is your episode.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Download the episode cheat sheet for a list of the 10 eye-openers and related podcast episodes (click here to download)

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.