Hopestream: Parenting Kids Through Addiction & Mental Health

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Today I'm going to share from my heart some things I've been thinking about which haven't really seemed to fit into any other episode.  I decided to bump the show I had planned as the first in Season Four of Hopestream to share a few heartfelt thoughts with you as we head into a new year.⁠
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You'll learn what I really want, more than anything, and why. You'll also learn something you don't get to do while you're in a very difficult season with your son or daughter.⁠ It's short, real, and a bit of a pep talk/love letter just for you.

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
In this compilation of 12 impactful episodes, you'll hear from: 
Dr. Anna Lembke, Carrie Wilkens, Ph.D., Dina Cannizzaro, Dr. Brad Reedy, Cathy Cioth, Steve Sawyer, Dr. Gabor Maté, Mark LaPalme, Rebekah Mutch, Andy Goldstrom, Bill Guy and Anne Moss Rogers.

It's that time of year! This episode has become an annual tradition here at Hopestream, where I open up the vault from 2022, reflect on the year, over 50 episodes, so many guests, and pluck out a few of the golden nuggets that were shared.

It’s ridiculously hard because it feels like I’m picking my favorite children, but it’s meaningful in that I see common threads and themes that emerge through the various conversations.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Dr. Anna Lembke - episode 110, 
• Dr. Carrie Wilkens - episode 143
• Dina Cannizzaro - episode 138
• Dr. Brad Reedy - episode 101
• Cathy Cioth - episode 130
• Steve Sawyer - episode 104
• Dr. Gabor Maté - episode 131
• Mark LaPalme - episode 128
• Rebekah Mutch - episode 113
• Andy Goldstrom - episode 95
• Bill Guy - episode 137
• Anne Moss Rogers - episode 141

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
When your son or daughter has been struggling with mental health or misusing substances for any period of time, it can be hard to recall who they are without the external influence of those substances, screens, or social media. Let alone remember who they are when they get consistent sleep, good nutrition, and regular outdoor exercise. A benefit of residential therapeutic environments is that they help re-discover your son or daughter’s behavioral and mental health baseline and identify what resources will impact lasting change most. 

In this episode, I’m talking with the founder of Pure Life Adventure Therapy, Andrew Taylor. He shares how Adventure Therapy is different from Wilderness Therapy and how it specifically supports young adults who are experiencing isolation, anxiety, and depression. While it’s not designed to support young people in active addiction or those who are newly sober, it’s a powerful combination of nature, fun, and deep therapy. It’s a way for young adults to learn first-hand how to develop resilience for the challenges of everyday life. 

In this episode, you’ll learn: 

• The impact of nature on the brain and nervous system
• Who Adventure Therapy is good for and who isn’t a good match
• The difference between “acting in” versus “acting out” and what to watch for
• How to engage a son or daughter who is regularly wearing the mask of, “I’m fine!”
• Why we need to be affirming of emotions and challenge our kids to exercise grit and resilience at the same time

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Pure Life Costa Rica
• Octagon Mentoring
• Your Brain on Nature (book)
• The Nature Fix: Why Nature Makes Us Happier, Healthier, and More Creative (book) 

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
If your son or daughter has been to residential treatment or Wilderness Therapy, you may have considered asking (begging?) a staff member to come home with them to help with the transition.  

Thankfully, I was able to sit down with two experts who specialize in supporting parents during this vulnerable time-Jen Murphy and Hilary Moses of Solutions Parenting Support.
 
You’ll hear why it can be easy to think “all is lost” when the tools you’ve gained during treatment feel challenging to implement in a new setting. You’ll discover why the “container” of treatment is so effective and how you can borrow from what worked well and embrace the bumpy ride to lasting change. Jen and Hilary also share about their new book, “HOME” which will be available in February 2023!  

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The different traps parents fall into when they’re preparing to lose the “container” of support like residential treatment or Wilderness Therapy
• What to do when your child has zero positive influences back at home
• How to be cautiously optimistic about your son or daughter and not encourage a performance mentality to gain trust
• Why it’s important to consider when you need to be a parent versus when you need to be a mom or dad, and what the difference is

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Solutions Parenting Support
• Sign up here to get pre-release book snippets and launch details

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
If you’ve been around here long, you know that nurturing the connection in your relationship with your son or daughter is the top priority as we support a path to recovery. But trying to stay level-headed when our kids are lying, pushing boundaries, or just deflecting and distracting from the issue at hand is challenging. 

This week on the podcast, I have the honor of sitting down with Ellen, a mom, and member of The Stream Community. Her son is about to turn eighteen, has relapsed in the last few months, and has significant mental health challenges. Ellen shares her frustration with feeling a lack of respect from her son and is lacking confidence in her decision-making. Together, we explore how the exercise of beginning with a value can drive confidence and peace into the way she communicates and holds boundaries with her son in the future. There’s so much to relate to here, and I know you’ll find encouragement as you listen. 

In this episode, you’ll learn: 

• How the pandemic and a gap in resources and support continue to impact so many young people struggling with mental health
• Why the stress of second-guessing your parenting decisions can impact other areas of your life
• How to take a personal inventory of your values before establishing rules or expectations
• The way Ellen holds to her values and embraces her son’s limitations at the same time
• How even amid a hard season, Ellen is still finding creative and healthy ways to connect with her son 

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
In this episode with my right-hand woman, business partner, and all-around inspiring mom Cathy Cioth, we dive into the harsh reality that life with a child who's experimenting with or actively addicted to substances doesn't look like the pictures we had in mind when they were little.

As parents, we do a disservice to our kids when we intentionally or subconsciously layer expectations on them around who they should be, how they should be, what they should accomplish, and what we think they should want. We might project onto them things we experienced in our own family growing up, and Cathy and I dig into why it's sometimes easier to focus on our kids than on ourselves.

We share personal experiences from our family's journeys and, of course, go on a tangent or two along the way. We address the very real grief that comes with life looking far different than we'd anticipated and share insightful solutions for navigating it all.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Episode 130: Nine things we never talk about when our kids misuse drugs or alcohol 

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
With well over a hundred episodes on Hopestream, I couldn’t believe we haven’t talked about the very common link between substance use and suicide rates. Since it was time, I’m honored to introduce you to mother, author, and mental health advocate, Anne Moss Rogers. She courageously shares her story of the loss of her son to suicide in hopes of spurring more honest conversations before it’s too late for other families. 

While this is another topic that’s messy and difficult to navigate, Anne Moss reminds us that patience and curiosity are the best tools we have for exposing the root of our kids’ pain. You’ll also hear practical ways to recognize signs that your child needs to talk about suicide and ways to work through what can be an overwhelming fear.

In this episode, you’ll learn: 

• Why Anne Moss left a corporate career she was highly passionate about to pursue advocacy for suicide prevention full time
• Whether talking about suicide plants seeds in a person’s mind about killing themselves
• How her son Charles' battle with mental health showed up in the beginning and how it progressed
• The connection between self-harming behavior and suicide ideation
• How Anne Moss had to navigate her son’s immediate relapse after going to treatment
• The red flags to look for if someone you love is contemplating suicide
• What you can do if your son or daughter avoids engaging this topic with you

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Anne Moss Rodgers:
  • The Emotionally Naked Speaker
  • NAMI Virginia Board Member
  • Blog: EmotionallyNaked.com
  • Speaker Site: AnneMossRogers.com, My 6-minute TEDx
  • Diary of a Broken Mind: A Mother's Story, A Son's Suicide and the Haunting Lyrics He Left Behind (book)
  • Emotionally Naked. A Teacher’s Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk (book)
• Free Tools: Free Self-Harm Safety Box
• Crisis Text Line: 741-741
• Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988
• Suicide Prevention: Website

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Today I dive into a key component of encouraging more positive behavior through the use of consequences.  You probably already know consequences can be confusing and hard to get right when your child is misusing substances and struggles with mental health issues. They're sometimes hard to be consistent with, and often backfire.

Chapter 11 in the book Beyond Addiction is the base for the information shared in this episode and outlines four ways you can go about using consequences with your son or daughter - however, only three are recommended.

It's a snack-sized lesson on a really confusing topic, so lace up for a quick walk or hop in the car and listen in to get some practical strategies you can start using today.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Australian Dollar and British Pound payment accepted for membership: The Stream
• Dina Cannizzaro on Hopestream episode 138

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Friday, Saturday, Sunday. If you’re a parent of a child misusing drugs or alcohol, you know why these three days can send you into a tailspin. The free time and lack of structure mean our kids will likely find themselves in risky situations. In this coaching episode, I met with Marie- a Stream Member who booked this last-minute session with me on a Friday, which told me something was brewing. 

Marie has a son who has experienced trauma and struggled with substances and has been attending a therapeutic boarding school. Yet, for many reasons, it wasn’t an ideal fit. Now he’s back at home, doing online school, and not in treatment, but 17 days sober. The bright spot in this story is that this mom and son are close, have good communication, and he’s expressed that he wants to stay sober. Listen as we explore how Marie can initiate some hard conversations to reduce her anxiety and increase the chance of her son choosing support and sobriety over the weekend. 

In this episode, you’ll learn: 

• How previous trauma can complicate recovery unexpectedly
• Why we have to consistently affirm our kids even when we don’t love their behavior 
• How Marie is helping her son assess the risk factors associated with different friends and social scenarios
• Why our kids need to know that we’re also learning and not confident, either
• What Marie is learning about the impact of choosing self-care on this path

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Hopestream podcast episode using "SURF" communication skills: www.brendazane.com/hopestream/73

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
It’s tough to come to terms with how little control we have over whether our kids choose substances or healing and recovery. In this episode, you’ll get to hear from Dina Cannizzaro. She’s a mom who has been through hell and back but has channeled all that fear and anxiety into actionable steps toward relearning how to connect with her son and harness the surprising power of self-care.

Hear how far she and her son Parker have come now that he’s been in active recovery for six years. You’ll also hear how she had to repair relationships she let suffer (including her other children) as she became all-consumed in her fear and efforts to support her son.

You’ll be thrilled to know she will also be your guide through the Beyond Addiction Study Group, so be sure to sign up for that ASAP, as it starts November 7!

In this episode, you’ll learn: 

• Why Dina chose to push through her crippling fear of rock climbing
• How she invested in the relationship with her son even when he wasn’t ready to be in contact
• What anticipatory grief is and how it showed up in Dina’s life
• What helped Dina realize she was just as sick as Parker but without the influence of substances
• Why she won’t stop sharing her story with anyone who will listen

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.