Hopestream: Parenting Kids Through Addiction & Mental Health

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
If you're working on being a little more self-compassionate and practicing self-care, there may be times when you ask yourself, "am I just being lazy?" You might also find there are times when your so-called self-compassion might feel more like self-sabotage. SO confusing. You end up feeling guilty for not feeling guilty, or vice versa.

This episode will break down what self-compassion actually is, what it isn't, and importantly, how to tell the difference between healthy self-compassion and laziness or self-sabotage. There's even a simple litmus test I share that will let you look at your behavior and know right away what you're being to yourself.

It's a quick, snackable episode that's perfect for a quick dog walk or errand run so listen in and give yourself a break from feeling guilt - or not - when you're trying to take care of yourself.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Unapologetic, Radical Self Care - Hopestream episode #71

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
I had the immense honor of speaking with Mark Pepper, a beautiful human who has lived the nightmare of long-term addiction and now enjoys a healthy, happy,  substance-free life. Not only does Mark lead an incredible, full life, but he also helps others re-build theirs as they recover from substance use and addiction.

Parents of adult children who are living in active addiction are true warriors and have an extra special place in my heart. This episode will provide you warrior moms and dads with hope and knowledge that people can and do recover - even if they're 39 years old, living in a park and eating from garbage cans.

For parents of younger teens and adults, you will definitely want to hear what Mark has to say about things his parents and family did that moved him toward recovery because they're things you can do no matter the age of your son or daughter or how long they've been using substances. 

This is a moving and real episode that will get you thinking and reinforce that people are incredibly resilient and can win over drugs and alcohol, even if it takes a while.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Persevere Now: Persevere is a national non-profit organization whose mission is to empower justice-involved men and women and individuals at risk for justice involvement to succeed as productive members of society. We do this by helping them develop the skills they need to be employable within the technology industry, either as employees or entrepreneurs and helping them find jobs in the field. Our goal is to change lives through education, mentoring, and ongoing support.

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
To say that high school and college students today are under massive pressure to "succeed" would be an understatement and no one knows more about why that's true than Denise Pope, Ph.D., senior lecturer for Stanford's Graduate School of Education and co-founder of the non-profit, Challenge Success.

After watching the documentary, "Breaking Points" which highlights some of the unhealthy ways young people are striving to achieve success, I knew I needed to dive into this subject.

Young people today are doing things like combining non-prescribed stimulants and opioids in order to get good (perfect) grades, stellar college placement exam scores, and acceptance to "the school" that will supposedly set them up for a life full of achievement and money. Oh, and at the same time they're volunteering, curating the impeccable Instagram feed and playing elite level sports.

At some point, something's gotta give, and often it's our kids' mental and physical health and wellbeing. In this hugely important episode, Denise and I talk about so many important things including:

• what's pushed some kids to use drugs as a negative coping strategy because of the intense pressure for academic achievement
• where is the very common 'fear of failure' coming from?
• what clues should parents look for to understand if their child is experiencing this intense stress and pressure?
• the first question we should ask our kids in order to understand their overall mental and physical health
• how much sleep teens actually need each night to stay healthy
• the dangerous roller coaster when students use stimulants and opioids to keep up with the pressure
• the first response parents should have when they see grades start to slip
• what kids truly feel about their parent's expectations
• the hope Denise sees coming out of COVID
• what research shows about the impact of where you go to college
• tips for parents of kids who are struggling, or for kids who are ok, to keep them that way
• protective factors for keeping kids safe and balanced

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Denise Pope, Ph.D., Stanford Univ. and Challenge Success
• Breaking Points documentary
• About Challenge Success (video)
• PDF (playtime, downtime, family time) for teens (download)
• Challenge Success research papers
• A “Fit” Over Rankings research mentioned in episode
• Stimulants and Benzodiazepine fact sheet (download)
• Partnership to End Addiction website

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
This episode explores the sometimes uncomfortable topic of parents' drinking when they have a son or daughter struggling with substances, and provides non-judgmental information and ideas on how to make a change if you decide it's something you want to try.

After exploring this topic personally during COVID, I decided to cut alcohol from my diet. In this episode, I share the impact it had on my life, the reasons why it's important to examine the role of alcohol in the parenting process, and tips for making change.

My guest is Casey Davidson, host of the Hello Someday podcast and life/sober coach to busy women who want to drink less and live more. Casey's work helped me make the decision to quit and I asked her to share information many of us don't know and how to embark on an alcohol-free life in a culture that glamorizes and celebrates drinking. 

If this is an area you've been meaning to explore, or even if you're rolling your eyes thinking, "who in the world quits drinking?!"...this is your episode. It'll help you completely reframe how you think about alcohol's role in your life, how it may be impacting your emotional regulation, and how this important change can be a big step in role-modeling healthy behavior and coping skills for your children.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Casey’s free guides 
• Hello Someday podcast episode with William Porter - Alcohol Explained
• Hello Someday podcast episode with Gill Tietz - What You Don’t Know About Alcohol and Your Body
• The Sober Diaries: How one woman stopped drinking and started living
• Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol (Whitaker)
• This Naked Mind, Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness, and Change Your Life (Grace)

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
If you've found yourself walking on eggshells because the conversations you need to have with your son or daughter usually end up in a defensive showdown or a series of negotiations and mind-tricks, this is your episode.

We'll cover a ninja-level parenting tool you can use to approach your son or daughter in a way that lowers their defenses, puts you in the driver's seat, and actually helps conversations go more smoothly and productively.

You'll learn what the acronym S.U.R.F. means and hear actual examples of how to use it in a conversation. It's a short, snack-sized episode that you can listen to and start implementing into your relationship immediately.

You'll also get 5 practical tips on setting yourself up for the best possible success using the S.U.R.F. tool to save you from some of the common pitfalls parents land in.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• PDF downloadable infographic of S.U.R.F. tool is here

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
It's always enlightening to get perspective from someone who works with young people day in and day out around mental health and substance use challenges, especially now. In our (mostly) post-COVID world, a time when kids have an intense fear of failure and in the era of widespread fentanyl poisoning, we have to ask, are the kids OK?

After his massively popular Hopestream episode (#2) on teens, residential treatment, and natural highs, I invited Derek Bowles, co-founder of Crossroads Academy, back to the podcast to share what he's seeing with kids today.

We covered such a wide range of topics including:

• the challenge of practicing radical acceptance while still being an active parent
• the real need to let go of expectations, outcomes and the idea of "perfect"
• COVID's impact on kids in treatment
• parents, school and the massive pressure kids feel 
• why is there so much more anxiety and depression in kids today?
• the question every single parent should focus on before asking about grades
• the need for being proactive about mental health for our teens
• teens, trauma + treatment 
• thoughts for what parents should be looking for a treatment program
• why opiates are the perfect drug for treating trauma - and not
• whether treatment today is hurting or helping people
• the brain chemistry behind natural highs and why that's so important
• 5 mandatory elements of the ideal post-treatment environment for teens
• the outlook for mental health and substance use treatment

You do not want to miss this epic episode so strap on your walking shoes, grab the dog and tune in. 

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Derek Bowles, co-founder & lead therapist, Crossroads Academy
• Episode 2 with Derek Bowles

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
This is a lighter-than-usual episode to get you thinking about ways you can apply radical self-care and take control of events, people and things that cause friction in your life.  If you have a child who's misusing substances, you probably spend too little time on yourself and have more than enough friction, so now's the time to change all that.

In my coaching with parents, I've found so many of us are stuck in a rut and running a million miles an hour at the same time. If that's the case, it helps to spend a bit of time intentionally looking at your patterns, habits, and thoughts to see where you can make changes for the better.

In this episode, I'll share things like:

• why I fired my dentist after 21 years
• what getting a sleep divorce has done for my marriage
• how a hamburger bun got me to take better care of myself 
• the immense value of a morning and evening routine
• why being ruthless about your phone can change life for the better
• and lots more

It's a fun episode where you'll want to grab a notepad or journal so you can work through finding opportunities for unapologetic, radical self-care and start taking control over circumstances and people who are making things harder when you really need things to be easier.

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
The siblings. What's happening to our other kids when we have one struggling with lifestyle choices, substance use, or mental health issues? How are they being impacted? What do they know? What should they know, and when? It's a real struggle for parents to know, and that's probably why it's one of the most common requests I get for podcast topics.

I figured the best way to answer these questions would be to talk with my son, who watched his older brother go through "it" and share his thoughts; what he saw, how he felt, and the impact it's had on his life.

It's a real conversation, and even though I may be slightly biased because he's one of mine, Marco's insights, wisdom and attitude are commendable considering the chaos and uncertainty he experienced at a young and impressionable age.

We talk about things including:

• how he perceived his brother's actions and how it felt to not know what was really happening
• his choice to not go the 4-year college route coming out of a college-prep high school
• his impressions of his brother being transported to wilderness therapy
• what his support looked like and how he personally dealt with the uncertainty and chaos
• what he observed about me, his mom, through the experience
• his relationship before, during and now with his brother
• his thoughts on how we handled things as parents
• the concept of the siblings needing to be "perfect" and not cause parents more problems
• his words of wisdom for parents going through it now

You'll be inspired by this young man's ability to internalize and then use his experience to fuel the success he's building in his life today as a barber, stylist, retail store owner and so many other things.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Other Hopestream episodes about siblings:

• Episode 4 with Tina Jayes
• Episode 33 with Danielle Schaffer
• Episode 55 with Dr. Nicole Kosanke and Krissy Pozatek

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Wes Robins and Zac Sweat are insanely passionate about helping young people heal and have opened a therapeutic youth center outside of Atlanta, GA to do just that. Eternal Strength Therapeutic Youth Center is an outpatient program - without a program - where each client is met with a tailor-made set of activities, therapies, and healing methods that work best for them and their family. And it might not look anything like 'treatment' has in the past.

In this episode, you'll learn what led Wes and Zac to open their unique space, why they don't advertise or offer structured programs, why they blew up the 4,6,12 or whatever week treatment program, and how they offer young people a radical pilgrimage of growth using creativity, physical and mental tools.
 
We talked about:

• what's lacking today in the world of youth treatment,
• how parents can help improve the treatment process, 
• when you may want to consider out-of-home treatment, 
• how  parents can grapple with the real danger of fentanyl,
• a poem that makes everyone cry,
• words of wisdom for parents who are currently in crisis,
• the importance of boundaries, and lots more.

Strap on your seatbelt, this is a real, raw, and heartfelt conversation.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Wes Robins and Zac Sweat, Eternal Strength Therapeutic Youth Center
• Success is Subjective Podcast - Episode 63: deeper background on Wes and Zac
• Gabor Mate’ - In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts and website
• Dr. Shefali Tsabary, The Awakened Family & The Conscious Parent
• Antipsychiatry - Roswell, GA
• Ritual Zero-Proof Spirit Alternatives 
• Seedlip Non-Alcoholic Spirits

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
I'm excited to share this episode of The Work IN podcast where I was fortunate enough to have a conversation with Ericka Thomas, founder of Elemental Kinetics and talk about my experiences and relationship with stress, trauma, food, pain, Al-Anon, family, triggers, exercise and more!

Ericka's podcast, The Work IN explores natural ways out of stress, trauma and tension and of all the podcasts I've been interviewed on, I felt that this one covered some of the information parents most need to hear when you have a child struggling with substance use and mental health issues.

We often find ourselves in physical pain, mentally exhausted, and generally unhealthy. At one point I wondered if I was just getting old or if there was really something medically wrong with me. It's confusing and you need to know it's normal - which is why taking care of yourself is one of the most important things you can do to help your child.

So for this week, I'm on the other side of the mic and give you a glimpse inside the ways I did and didn't cope while my son was in the dark years.

Listen in to this episode if you're struggling with too much stress, tension anxiety and have experienced trauma as a result of your son or daughter's lifestyle and substance use.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Ericka Thomas, The Work IN podcast

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.