Flying Free

How Do I Deal with His Rage? [317]


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In today’s episode, I answer a question about surviving a husband’s rage while still in the home and preparing to leave. I want to share insights on coping strategies, the importance of unhooking from an abuser’s words, and how to create a safety plan. If you're living in survival mode, this episode offers encouragement and practical steps to help you move toward freedom and healing.

Key Takeaways:

  • Fear is a natural response to an abusive environment. Trying to "toughen up" emotions to endure abuse is not the solution; rather, finding ways to escape is essential.
  • Unhook from his words. An abuser’s insults and accusations are projections of their own delusions, not reflections of your worth.
  • Abusers see their victims as LEGO characters. They create a false narrative about who you are and expect you to conform. Recognizing this can help you detach emotionally.
  • Radical acceptance is necessary. Understand that an abusive partner does not want genuine connection—only control and transaction.
  • Survival mode is not living. Every day you endure abuse is survival, but true healing comes from stepping into a life of freedom.
  • You deserve a future beyond survival. Healing is possible, and there are communities and resources to help you move forward.

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

  • Need a resource to help you as you unhook? Check out my interview with the founder of the app, Aimee Says, and then try it out for yourself!
  • Want a free chapter of my book, “Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage”? Sign up for my mailing list, and I’ll send a copy straight to your inbox. 
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Flying FreeBy Natalie Hoffman

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