In this heartfelt episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia sits down with Erin Snow, founder of Seacoast Listening Lounge and longtime advocate for women navigating divorce. Erin shares how her work as a legal professional in family law and her own personal divorce journey led her to create a safe, confidential, and judgment-free space for people who need to be truly heard. Her listening sessions are not therapy—they're something just as vital: compassionate, intentional human connection.

Erin and Olivia dive into the emotional weight of not feeling heard during divorce, and how the ability to speak without fear or judgment can be transformational. Erin shares why active listening is a powerful tool in emotional recovery, why it’s often missing in divorce conversations, and how listening with empathy can shift everything. From "verbal smash sessions" to quiet, meditative listening spaces, Erin explains how every conversation is shaped by the individual’s needs in that moment.

If you’ve ever felt alone, overwhelmed, or unsure who you can talk to during a life transition, this episode is a must-listen. Erin reminds us that healing starts when we feel safe enough to share—and that we all deserve to feel supported, seen, and understood.

Learn more about Erin and Seacoast Listening Lounge: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/seacoast-listening-lounge

Olivia Howell: Hello, hello, and welcome back to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we support you before, during, and after divorce with education, inspiration, and a little bit of laughter. Because, as we know, divorce happens—and then you start fresh. Today, we're here with one of our Fresh Starts experts, Erin Snow. Erin, can you tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do?

Erin Snow: Hi Olivia, thank you so much for having me! I’m really excited to be on the podcast. I’m Erin Snow, and I live in Seacoast, New Hampshire. I own Seacoast Listening Lounge, which is both an event space and a professional listening service for women who are looking to share their story in a safe and confidential space without judgment.

Olivia Howell: I love that! When Erin registered to be a Fresh Starts expert, we were like, "What is this? We’ve never heard of this before." I’m so excited to be showcasing you to the world because I love what you do. You have a long background in divorce advocacy and related areas. Let’s talk about the importance of listening during a divorce. Because often, people going through a divorce feel like nobody's listening to them. Why is active listening so important during that time?

Erin Snow: I can speak to this on both a professional and personal level. I worked in family law for over 16 years with New Hampshire Legal Assistance, handling high-conflict divorce, parenting, and protective order cases for domestic violence, stalking, and sexual assault survivors. Then I went through my own divorce. One of the reasons I started Seacoast Listening Lounge was because I saw a real lack of space where people could be heard—truly listened to—without judgment.

People going through divorce are under emotional and financial stress. You’re worrying about yourself, your kids, and how others will react. Having a space to just let it all out opens the valve. If we don’t create space to release that pressure, it builds up and becomes unmanageable. Empathetic listening doesn’t have to be hard, but it does require intention. It’s simply about letting someone know: “I’m here for you, no matter what you want to say.”

Erin Snow: When I was a paralegal, clients would come in, and I’d have a specific agenda—like calculating child support—but inevitably, they’d veer off into other topics. And instead of rushing to redirect, I learned to ask: What’s really going on here? Are they worried about money, about their kids? Sometimes you have to pause and create space for the person to speak before focusing on logistics.

Olivia Howell: Right, and I think so many people have never even been asked, "How do you want me to listen to you today?"

Erin Snow: Exactly. Creating that safe space can change everything. And personally, I know what it feels like to have no one to talk to. I didn’t share anything about my divorce—not even with friends. Most people didn’t know until they saw a U-Haul in my driveway. I was afraid of judgment, of how others would react. And because I had kids, I was especially careful about what I shared. My friends were also the parents of my kids’ friends. It felt too risky.

Olivia Howell: Yes, it’s so isolating. I remember walking around thinking, “Divorce is all I’m thinking about, but it’s the one thing I can’t talk about with anyone here.”

Erin Snow: That’s exactly it. You feel like you’re carrying this huge thing alone. And the decision to get divorced doesn’t come lightly. You’ve already agonized over it. Then you have to explain yourself to people who weren’t in your shoes—and they question you. “What about the kids?” “Do you want to spend holidays alone?” It makes you second-guess yourself all over again.

That’s why active listening matters so much. A dismissive or judgmental reaction can shut someone down completely and impact how they move forward. It’s a lot of responsibility, but being a good friend or support person is really just about saying: “I’m here for you. I’m not judging you. What do you need?”

Olivia Howell: I love all of that so much. I also want to touch on the importance of using your voice again. Divorce can make you feel like you’ve lost your voice—like The Little Mermaid. But having a safe place to speak freely helps build your confidence back.

Erin Snow: Yes, and that’s part of why I created the Listening Lounge. I offer one-on-one sessions that are completely confidential. I want to be clear—this is not therapy. I’m not a therapist. I don’t diagnose or try to fix anything. I’m just here to listen. For some people, therapy feels too intimidating or solution-focused during divorce. This is different. This is simply a safe place to talk.

Olivia Howell: That’s such an important distinction. Therapy can be intimidating, especially during divorce. And legally, therapists’ notes can be subpoenaed in court—people don’t always realize that.

Erin Snow: Exactly. Especially in high-conflict or domestic violence-related cases, therapy can unfortunately be used as a weapon. Clients are afraid of being labeled. With me, there are no notes, no diagnoses—just listening. You can say what you need to say and leave it there. I even offer a "verbal smash" session for those who just need to vent and rage in a safe space, and more contemplative sessions for quiet reflection or decision-making.

Olivia Howell: I love that. And this can be done virtually, right?

Erin Snow: Yes! While I do have a beautiful office space in Seacoast New Hampshire, my services are fully virtual. So whether you’re at home or away, you can log in and book a session. It’s meant to be accessible and supportive—no matter what you’re going through.

Olivia Howell: That’s incredible. And you’re available to celebrate the good moments too! Not everyone has someone to share good news with, especially if it’s complicated. Like getting pregnant when your sister is struggling with fertility, or landing a new job when your friend just lost theirs. You’re here to hold space for all of it.

Erin Snow: Yes, exactly. You can book a session right through my website. I even offer free consultations if you’re curious but not sure it’s for you.

Olivia Howell: Amazing. Erin, if someone is listening and going through a divorce, what’s one piece of encouragement you would share with them?

Erin Snow: I always go back to something my mom used to say: “It’s temporary.” It may feel impossible right now, but you will get through this. Whether or not you have people in your life right now, there are services like Fresh Starts and spaces like mine. You’re not alone. You are not broken. There are people ready to support you without judgment. So remember—it’s temporary. And you don’t have to walk this path alone.

Olivia Howell: I love that so much. You can find all of Erin’s info in the show notes. Thank you for launching this incredible business and for being a part of Fresh Starts. We appreciate you!

Erin Snow: Thank you so much. I’m so happy to be here.

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