Flying Free

How Not to Be an Ass [164]


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“How Not to Be a Meanie” doesn’t hit the same, does it?


“How Not to Act Out Patriarchal Theology, AKA ‘A Chocolate-Covered Turd’” is probably too long.


And Andrew Bauman wants to get the attention of men who have bought into domination and called it love, and control and called it protection. The men who feel entitled to women’s bodies and minds and service, all in the name of God. Asses. 


How does he tackle the problem? One donkey-sized piece at a time. 


This jam-packed episode includes:

  • The unavoidable word “ass”
  • What to do if you’re told your husband’s porn addiction is your fault or no big deal (the aud-ass-ity!)
  • Why real change isn’t a made bed and an open Bible (it’s actually sooooo boring)
  • 5 quick, clear, key differences between a safe man and a giant ass
  • How to love the duck you have instead of trying to make it into a cat (we aren’t quacks, we swear)
  • What Andrew thinks of marriage intensives/counseling for emotionally abusive men (a hard p-ass)
  • Why ass-king the question, “Does your husband know how to use a phone?” is more about you than him (and how it will change your ass-essment of your marriage)

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

  • Connect with Andrew on Facebook.
  • Snag or recommend Andrew’s book: How Not to Be an *SS: Essays on Becoming a Good & Safe Man.
  • If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
  • I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
  • You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
  • And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com

Andrew J. Bauman is a licensed mental health counselor with a master’s degree in counseling psychology from The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. He’s the author of How Not to Be an *SS, The Sexually Healthy Man, Floating Away, Stumbling Toward Wholeness, The Psychology of Porn, and (with his wife Dr. Christy Bauman) A Brave Lament, a book and award-winning film. He’s also the founder and director of the Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health & Trauma.

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Flying FreeBy Natalie Hoffman

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