Peace and Parenting: How to Parent without Punishments

How Rewards Teach Kids to Follow Rules for the Wrong Reasons


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Are rewards just another form of punishment in disguise? Ever thought that the key to nurturing genuine cooperation in your child lies beyond the promise of a star chart or a treat? In this episode of Peace and Parenting, I dive deep into the often-overlooked pitfalls of reward systems in parenting and how they can inadvertently erode the parent-child connection.


As a mother who once believed in handing out star stickers for good behavior, I share my journey of discovery and realization. I revisit the time I created an elaborate star chart to encourage my daughter, Esme, to complete tasks and exhibit positive behavior. Initially effective, this approach crumbled as Esme lost interest and I realized it was a form of manipulation rather than authentic motivation.


Join me as I challenge traditional parenting norms that prioritize compliance over connection. 


In This Episode

  • The pitfalls of reward-based parenting
  • Intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation in children
  • How rewards can erode parent-child connection
  • Benefits of connective parenting over compliance-focused methods


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Peace and Parenting: How to Parent without PunishmentsBy Michelle Kenney, M. Ed

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