You just dropped one child at his playdate. Now you have 15 minutes to scoot across to the pool for your younger kid's swim lesson. Easy, right? Actually no. Your child is refusing to scoot. He doesn't want to put on his swim clothes. He won't go to the pool. "I HATE swim class," he yells defiantly. Why Reasoning Won't Work Oh, and when you tried reasoning? He kicked his scooter across the car park and laid flat on the tarmac. He isn't going anywhere. How Do You Set Limits WIth A Defiant Child? If you are using the Hand in Hand Tools you know that a child's defiance shows they are having a hard time. You also know that one of the best ways to work through this is by letting your defiant child work through their anger and frustration. Staylistening through their upset works great—when you have time. But What Happens When You Don't Have Time? Right now the clock ticking in your head sounds like a bomb waiting to explode. Your indecision on how to move forward mounts with every second that passes. You notice passersby eyeing up your situation, and you're ready to blow. Do you: A: Sit and listen to your child's outburst, and watch the clock tick past the start of the swim lesson. B: Pack your defiant child under one arm and the scooter under another and march over to the pool. C: Announce that class is off and suggest getting an ice-cream instead. You'll tackle this some other time. Surprise! None of these are right. And none of them are wrong! Today on the podcast we share ideas and tools that will help you decide how to respond when your child gets defiant and simply says "No." Listen in for: - Surefire strategies to prevent these stands-offs from happening in the first place - Why every limit you give your child is actually multiple limits bound together as one and how to unravel them - How to get clear on limits you want to hold and those you can let slip away - What to do when you absolutely, really, definitely need your child do something and they are defiant in saying no STAY CONNECTED We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges.;Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at [email protected]