How to Love Your Body: The Official UNdiet Online Podcast

Welcome to How to Love Your Body - today we are talking about a concept that was created by Byron Katie - it’s all about questioning our thoughts and figuring out who we would be/ what would we feel like without the thoughts that cause us misery and suffering. This relates perfectly with our thoughts about food and our bodies.

 

It’s about questioning these thoughts and asking yourself if they are true. A big reason humans endure so much suffering in their thoughts is because they think things “should” be a certain way. It’s most likely because we were taught it should be this way or that the person next to you is doing something so you think to yourself that it should be this way for you too. This happens in all areas of our life - by this age I should have this and be this … I should look this way, I should eat this way, I should, should, should… it’s all a bunch of shoulding on yourself -- so how can you stop shoulding on yourself? 

 

Let’s dive into a few common thoughts that may hold you back from truly being able to live your life as an Intuitive Eating and UnDieter. 

1.Who would you be without the thought ...I need to lose weight? 

Is the answer peace/Freedom? If so you most likely aren’t suffering because you actually “need” to lose weight - you are suffering because of the THOUGHTS that you have. So what to do? Question these thoughts and shift them. 

 

Is it true you really need to lose weight? According to who? Is it that you need to lose weight or is it the pressure from society to meet certain standards to look a certain way? “I need to lose weight” has no depth - it is an empty “requirement” - how much weight do you need to lose? How can you actually put a number on it ? A lot of our “should” thoughts are completely random and we plucked them out of the air (or picked them up from what someone said) and decided they were true. 

 

The truth is we can’t control our bodies - we can’t decide that x amount of weight “will be the answer” - it’s not about pursuing weight loss. 

 

It’s about listening to your body and letting it do it’s thing. It’s about living a life without rigidity and obsession. It’s about doing things that feel good to you - your body will land where it’s gonna land regardless, it will ebb and flow throughout life - 

Who would you be without the thought...I shouldn’t eat that?

 

Is the answer at ease with food? A person who can just eat what feels good and move on? If so you most likely aren’t suffering because you actually shouldn’t eat that - you are suffering because of the THOUGHTS that you have. So what to do? Question these thoughts and shift them. 

 

What if “eating that” is the very thing that is actually best for you and your body? What if eating that cookie will give you pleasure, joy, and a clear mind that isn’t filled with restriction. What if allowing yourself to eat what you want gives you a sense of empowerment which turns into listening to your body and finding a natural balance? what if you naturally eat a variety of foods with all different levels of nutrients that feel good to you? Without the thought “I shouldn't eat that” you can be free and at peace to trust your body and live your life.

Who would you be without the thought...If I gain weight I’ll be unhealthy/ or if I don’t lose weight I’ll be unhealthy?

 

Is the answer at peace in your body? If so you most likely aren’t suffering because you actually will be unhealthy if you gain weight - you are suffering because of the THOUGHTS that you have. So what to do? Question these thoughts and shift them. 

 

What is healthy? What is unhealthy? Can you really be one or the other? When does one cross over and become healthy? When does one all of a sudden become unhealthy? There is not one way to define health - anyone can be on any part of the health spectrum at any size - and not one person is the same. What about the cases that you hear when someone obtains “perfect” health as in - always eats balanced/ in moderation,

Welcome to How to Love Your Body - On today’s episode we are going to be talking about why balance isn’t the answer. It seems to be a common misconception you can stop dieting and just be balanced - what a healthy and sensible answer to our food issues! This actually is just another way to control.

When you think balance you may think - never eat too much or little. Instead of restricting the dessert, allow yourself to have a little. Eat but make sure you “watch what you eat.” It may not be extreme restriction because you are allowing but it still is all about limitation - and limitation - and forcing yourself into a perfectly balanced place will still cause bingeing. Obsession. And we can bet there isn’t that feeling of freedom around food. Trying to force yourself into balance isn’t food freedom - it’s dieting. Diet culture is getting sneakier -  they sell a “gentle” diet and call it balance.

If humans could just limit what they ate and find “balance” - that means diets would work - but scientifically we know diets don’t work. 

Pursuing balance is actually counterproductive. It is still a form of restriction - causing you to retaliate against the rules, keeping in that screw it attitude when you mess up.

We know - you may be saying, but I want to feel balanced with food. I want to be able to allow all food and give myself unconditional permission to eat and I also want to care about my health - I want to eat nutrient dense food I want to eat the rich pasta dish and the salad. I want to eat veggies with some of my meals and eat the dessert.. Isn’t that balance? How do I achieve this? 

Balance is a great place to land and that’s where we feel we live and many clients we have worked with have ended up.

NOTE: Balance is not something that is now perfectly in the middle. It’s not a forced place where you are never too full or never too hungry - it’s not the center. There’s an ebb and flow to balance in the UnDiet world - It’s a sway - on any given day you may eat more, you may eat less, you may eat anything in between. Balance is, yes, eating the pizza and the salad but it is also eating just the pizza on certain days because that’s what sounds the best to you and your body and then on other days it might be eating just the salad if that’s what feels the best to you - there is no diet mentality attached and all decisions are made from a place of how your body feels - certain days COULD look like “traditional balance” where you have some of everything without swaying too far from the middle but it could also look like swaying far to the left or right of the middle - that is IE / UnDieting and balance / that is how you live a sustainable life because there’s lots of room to sway.

But when you pursue balance, it’s forced, it’s fake, it’s a diet - it’s still rules, there’s still shoulds.

It seems counterintuitive but you need to forget about balance in order to naturally find balance. Meaning - if you are totally fine with eating as much chocolate as you want, anytime, any amount - there are no rules, shoulds or anything to retaliate against and your body has permission to find balance within that freedom, leaving you FREE and balanced. 

This doesn’t mean you always only have a couple bites but it means that it’s just a food that fits into your life with ease and flow.

True lifelong balance can only come with giving yourself complete freedom and go from there. And of course this won’t happen on day 1 but it does come. 

Here are some ways you can work on finding balance as an UnDieter.

-Spot all or nothing thinking around food - this is not about living in the world of extremes anymore. See where you can spot yourself thinking - I can have it all - OR - I can have nothing. I either have to be good OR bad. I have to restrict it all OR eat it all. There is no in between. Spotting this type of thinking is the first step to creating more balance in your life - awareness is how you can begin to shift the way you think about foo

Welcome to How to Love Your Body - on this week’s episode we are going to be talking about bingeing. Bingeing is a very common side effect of dieting - why? The number one reason is due to restriction. Where there is restriction - either mentally or physically - the bingeing will persist. We know, because we were in the restrict/ binge cycle for 10 years each. 

Before we dive in - we wanted to share with you about a couple exciting things we have coming in early 2021. One of those things being our documentary called Behind the Before and After and another being a giveaway where you could win one of 3, 6 months of free UnDiet support. We’ll share more about it later on but to To learn more - go to bit.ly/btbagiveaway 

Okay, here we go - let’s talk about bingeing and how we can help. 

Things you may have heard that will help with bingeing:

-Eat MORE food 

-Get foods that you restrict/ binge on IN the house 

-Eat whatever you want, when you want 

-Allow all food and give yourself unconditional permission to eat 

 

You may be thinking - HOW is this possible? You want me to eat MORE? You want me to buy bags of chips, jars of peanut butter, and chocolate bars and keep them in my house? This seems counterintuitive!!! Are you trying to ruin me and fuel the fire underneath all my binges!?? I can’t trust myself to do any of these things. I am out of control around food! 

These are very normal things to feel and to say. 

So why are things that feel so counterintuitive, things that will actually help with bingeing? 

Because allowing food and having an abundant mindset around food creates a healthy relationship with food. When you know it’s available to you at all times there is not a preoccupation with food anymore. This allows you to think clearly and actually have space to listen to your body signals. If you aren’t constantly thinking about food you’ll notice when your body starts to get hungry. You’ll start to only think of food when you get hungry - or at least it won't be all the time - it’ll just be fleeting thoughts that don’t feel obsessive. 

Another part to this is trust - It may feel scary to allow food that you feel like you dont have control around. It may feel scary to allow food into your house that you never allow because you know most of the time it just leads to bingeing. But once the food is around you and you know you can have it whenever - it will shift. It’s about learning to trust your body. If you can allow and then let trust lead you, you’ll be able to get to the other side of the bingeing. It may feel like you are being led in the dark, it’s you challenging yourself to do things differently. That you are willing to let your body lead you through the dark - imagine your body in front of you and you having your hand on it’s shoulders so it can guide you - and what your body is doing is guiding you into the light. It may feel really dark and scary, that you can’t see - but you can trust there is light on the other side - you know it’s there you just have to travel through it - and on the other side the light will shine and the bingeing will end. 

 

How to work on moving your way through the dark and into the light “aka allowing food and ending the binge” :

 

“Faith it till you make it” - I heard someone say this once and I liked it a lot better than “fake it till you make it” - because feeling fake just makes it feel like you’re lying to yourself - but if you can faith it till you make it - you know it’s challenging but you can tell yourself - this is hard but I have faith it can be different - so it really is choosing to allow the food. Choosing to get it in your house. And then having faith!

Learn more about the biology of binge eating if you feel resistant to taking this approach, the book Body Respect is a great resource. If you don’t believe this approach it is difficult to truly commit to it and therefore see the results.

 

BODY TRUST! This is such an important part of this work. If you don’t trust

Welcome to another episode of How to Love Your Body -- on this week’s episode we want to talk about a question that does come up often - which is when a family member, partner, friend, etc  doesn’t understand what IE is and thinks it’s BS - that if you aren’t dieting, you don’t care about your health.

Before we dive in - you can download your free worksheet that goes along with this episode at bit.ly/understandingundieting

We’ve been taught that if we aren’t constantly pursuing weight loss, eating “healthy” and restricting “bad” food then we don't care about our health - this could not be farther from the truth! 

But this is most likely the information that your mom / loved one has ingrained in them too.

These aren’t your own thoughts - and they aren’t your mom’s either. It’s important to realize this is a societal issue and not a personal issue. This can make it a bit easier to be compassionate to those around you even when they are pushing against intuitive eating/ the non diet approach. 

So when you see the light and realize dieting is damaging and does not work - and this IE, UnDieting, Body acceptance message comes around - that’s amazing - and even though you have seen the light and you are ready to change the generational patterns of dieting from people before you and around you - the people in your life may not be there yet - and they may never be. And that’s okay. 

That may be hard to hear but really we have to be okay with them never understanding - great if they do someday but if they never do, this doesn’t change anything about you and what you can do for your life - which is un learn all that diet culture has taught you and relearn how to create a healthy relationship with food and your body and ultimately obtain true genuine health (physically, mentally, and emotionally).

Some other helpful tips to remember: 

Release the pressure to make someone understand IE

Ask yourself Why do you feel the need to defend it if you know it works for you? 

What if you made it Your own special thing that no one can effect?

If they genuinely want to learn - send them to some resources (IE book? Body respect? Our Ig / a pod episode we’ve done?) - you don’t need to mentally and emotionally exhaust yourself for others - give resources and they can choose to educate themselves on the topic or not.

Remember, them thinking it’s BS is their own projection onto you - they are most likely stuck in diet culture themselves as mentioned  - It’s not you, it’s their own stories that are creating their  judgements of IE

Boundaries: You live your life, they live their life - and don’t give anymore energy to the topic. Make it known that you don’t want to talk about IE / dieting if they can’t respect the concept of it. You can ask them to respect your choices and you will respect theirs and if they can't do that for you - then that’s information for you.

THE POINT IS - YOU DON’T NEED TO TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT it because you can do whatever the heck you want. Trying to convince anyone of anything will only drive you crazy - and most likely feel frustrated and invalidated - maybe even feeling some shame. We can’t change anyone unless they are open and willing and have the desire to change / learn about a new way of being in a relationship with food. You don’t have to diet again and they don’t have to do IE - everything’s a choice and the most powerful thing we can do is to create our own armor and stand strong in our beliefs about what IE has done for our lives and not let anyone or diet culture take us down. 

A few tangible steps to take: 

Figure out what your boundaries are - What will you tolerate and what will you not tolerate? What feels safe and what doesn’t? What would you be okay with talking about and what would you not be okay with talking about ? Who do you allow in and who do you allow distance between? These are all great Q’s to ask yourself. Boundaries can feel challenging but Knowing your boundaries are empowering. 

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Welcome to this week’s episode of How to Love Your Body.

A reminder to Please rate and review if you find our podcast helpful in any way!

Today we are talking about a very common fear and that is keeping food in the house (anything “bad” of course).

Why do we fear this?

Because we feel out of control around food, like we cant be trusted around it, we just think about it until we give in, say screw it, eat it all, and then promise we won't buy it again.

Is this food addiction? Is this a lack of willpower? How come other people can keep chips in their pantry and ice cream in their freezer and it’s not gone in a day? They can just eat it in a normal way? There must be something wrong with me, I’ll just have to control myself forever, I’m just different and that’s the way it is.

This is not food addiction, has nothing to do with willpower and you aren’t different - you’re just restricting.

Dieting, trying to be “healthy” or good, eating in moderation, being sensible, WW, or Keto, whatever you call it - not allowing all food and listening to your body is considered restriction.

NOTE: Some people ask, I’m eating the food, why isn’t it getting better? - mental allowing is key too, having a healthy relationship with food is also needed! If you feel bad for eating the food or are stuck in retaliation of dieting, there are still some steps to take to get to freedom.

All this is being said so that you KNOW it can be different, you aren’t different or weird or just lack will power and you are NOT addicted to food, yes even you :).

Diet culture teaches us that we need to control MORE that it’s our fault if we’re weird with food - but it isn’t and that just makes it worse - making you more likely to run back to another diet next week - the diet industry is brilliant. It causes a problem and then sells the solution, over and over and over until we die.

Well we’ve seen the truth - ALLOWING food and repairing your relationship with food and your body is the key to being normal with food and be that person who can have the chips in the pantry and the ice cream in the freezer and eat them like any other food - enjoying it when you want and not worrying about it when you don’t.

Here are 3 steps to take to move towards being comfortable having any foods in your house with ease and enjoyment:

Like Jenna always says - she could live in a grocery store and would eat the same.

Step 1: Know, understand and believe that you aren’t weird with food, these fears and food obsessions have nothing to do with you as a person, you’re just another cog in the diet culture machine! Know and believe that allowing food and ditching diet culture, and repairing your relationship with food and your body will heal this. 100%, yes even you.

In order to move forward with confidence you need to know that this is possible, or when it takes a bit of time and experimentation, it makes it really easy to say SEE ITS ME! I’m just like this.

Step 2: Start slowly allowing all foods - this is a step that you may already be doing, if not start introducing a few things you’ve been wanting to eat. Such as bread, real salad dressing cheese, chocolate, peanut butter, ice cream, etc. 

If you ARE physically allowing food, start assessing your beliefs around the food/ your relationship with these foods - do you feel like you really SHOULDN’T be eating this food? Not eating this much of it? Really SHOULDN’T be having dessert every night? This is still going to feel restrictive and the effects of allowing won’t be in full effect. Work on identifying shoulds and start questioning them! What if I do want dessert every night for the rest of my life? What if that lets me live a life that is less about food and my body and more about living? Does trying to restrict dessert work? What do I end up doing when I don’t let myself enjoy the things I want (binge eating, food preoccupation etc)

Step 3: Start listening to your body when eating these wonderful foods. We ignore our bodies when w

Welcome to How to love your body today we are sharing 10 important steps you need to take to get closer to food and body freedom. 

This episode is brought to you by our 10 steps closer to food and body freedom guide you can grab it at bit.ly/undiet10steps

01 Diet Mentality

This is number one for a reason. If you only do one thing in this work, be aware of and work on shifting the way you think.

How we THINK about and what we believe regarding food and our bodies is what creates our unhealthy relationships with these things.

The first step is to be aware of our thoughts and beliefs.

Diet culture is so ingrained in us that we assume what we think is true and “just the way it is”. But it isn’t.

Guilt around food isnt natural.

Picking your body apart isnt natural.

Wanting to control the way your body looks isnt natural.

Counting calories and following food rules isnt natural.

That is all learned.

Working through the diet mentality means being aware of these thoughts and beliefs, unlearning them and then discovering a new truth for yourself when it comes to food, movement, your body and wellness.

02 Intuitive Eating

Intuitive eating is an amazing resource. It truly is intuitive, both of us read the book after we were already a ways down the path out of dieting and when we read it we thought that’s what I’m doing! It is natural, this is the way we’re born - listening to our hunger and fullness, eating with ease and flexibility and not having negative emotions around any of it. If you never dieted, weren’t full of the diet mentality and just ate “normally” since you were born, you would be an intuitive eater. This is something that you can learn to begin the steps forward but it’s also something you’ll naturally fall into when all of the mindset, body image, self love, is worked on.

03 Weight Gain Fears

THIS IS THE #1 thing holding people back. We know this. It’s the scary part because of the world we live in but it’s also the thing we need to consciously practice letting go of. The FEAR itself does not help us, it can feel like control, it can feel like it’s keeping us from going wild but it isn’t, it’s just keeping us from freedom. The first step out of fear is to take action. What is the fear of weight gain/ not losing weight holding you back from doing? Do those things (if you know it something you want for yourself). Such as beginning to allow more foods, loosening food restrictions and food rules, ordering what you want instead of what you think you SHOULD have. This fear can be diminished so you can move forward in a way that honors your body instead of a life that is just about controlling your body size.

04 Get Rid of Guilt 

Guilt can hang on even when we start allowing all foods. This is when a lot of people reach out and ask - I’m eating the food and it’s not “working”, I’m still stressed about it, thinking about it all the time, bingeing and its not getting easier. Mental allowing  (not feeling guilty or like you really shouldn’t be eating that) is also needed in order to find freedom with food. Putting the food in your mouth is a great start, your body needs the calories and it needs to know it won’t be going into another famine (diet) again! But to get the mental benefits like not thinking about food all day, being able to have food in the house and forget it’s there, not feel stressed every time you eat a dessert - you need to be OK with eating the food you’re now allowing. This comes with time but there are also a lot of mindset shifts you can work on to make this happen more quickly. 

05 Body Acceptance

Let’s be real - our tumultuous relationships with food started because of not accepting the body we had at the moment. The funny thing is that we talk to so many women who say WHAT was I thinking? I looked great back then! We don’t see ourselves accurately AND we put way too much value in the way we look (thanks a lot diet culture) which leads to body dissatisfaction and then we turn to controlling our foo

Welcome to How to Love Your Body - On today’s episode we are going to be talking about how to RIDE OUT 2020-  We know this year has most likely been really challenging - for many reasons! 

Even though we are nearing the end of this crazy year - we also know it may feel like it’s never going to end. That these last few months feel like an eternity. 

You are ready to get this year over with and move on into better times ahead - we get it! 

This is why we want to help support you in riding out the rest of 2020. 

It’s important to do things that you can “land safely” on when things are feeling overwhelming / (insert word) - taking care of yourself, finding ways to cope, finding healthy distractions ...will help you get through the days ahead that feel hard. 

Here are some tips/ practices you can add into you life that could help get you through these times: 

Physical: 

Stretch/ Breathe 

Move your body 

Gentle movement is great if that’s what feels good 

More strenuous movement is great if that’s what feels good 

A mixture or somewhere in between is great if that’s what feels good 

Also it’s important to assess your circumstance - sometimes we can’t always move in ways we want due to life, environment, etc - if so GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK - you will get back to movement when you can 

And of course You can also choose not to move your body

Prioritize sleep/ rest - The most important of them all. 

Eat - Eat enough, eat what you want, eat what feels good - the point - eat!

Mental/ Emotional: 

Prioritize sleep/ rest - this isn’t just a physical thing. 

Listen/ read books/ audios / podcasts that make you feel good/ supported 

Personal development / growth mindset is great AND 

If what you need is some light reading / listening - something uplifting / something to make you laugh/ some kind of fiction to dive into a world that isn’t real - do that! 

One or the another / a mixture of both is great - whatever feels good for your mind. 

Body Image - Put post its on your mirror saying something empowering - giving yourself a little message- it could make all the difference. 

Get rid of unnecessary stress - We get there are things that we stress about that we can’t just get rid of - but there may be things that cause you stress that you can - figure out what those things are and do it! (document story) 

“Cliche” self care - When is the last time you filled up the bath with bubbles, lavender oil, your favorite candle, and some music? Seriously, do it! 

Other self care - Ask for help! skip the dishes (ask your partner to help), hire a cleaner if financially available (even if it gives you a week break), get someone to watch the kids for the afternoon, Order a meal instead of cook, what are things in your life that you could really use help with that you typically don’t ask for support with - ask!

Validate your feelings (yourself) and also talk to a friend / family member/ trusted human in your life that could be a place to listen and understand as well - most of the time we are feeling something, so are millions of other people - we really are not alone in these hard times.

Release any kind of perfectionism going on - give yourself compassion. This is a year for the books - so no need to beat yourself up about anything - you are doing the absolute best you can. 

We know it may feel lonely, we know it may like “IT’S JUST TOO MUCH” (we have said this many, many times to each other lol) which is why we created a community based support system to help you ride out the rest of 2020….

In this 10 week program we are going to be going through 10 major topics including intuitive eating week, diet mentality week, weight gain fear week, body acceptance week, food freedom week and more.  

We’re excited to offer this program for the price of 1 therapy session :) 10 weeks of live lessons, daily support and more for $149.

If you want more information on this you can go to thebodylovesociety.com/membership

We start Nov 1 and we can’t wait to get starte

On today’s episode we are going to be talking about the stats behind why people say diets don’t work but also go into the emotional side of dieting - because even with these groundbreaking stats proving that diets don’t work (and they are actually harmful) - dieting is still a multi billion dollar industry with lifelong returning customers. 

Facts don’t sway people; emotions and beliefs do. 

We, as a culture, believe that thinness is better and should always be the goal, that weight loss is about health and to think otherwise is promoting an unhealthy lifestyle and body size.

NO amount of statistics showing this isn't true changes anything.

Our beliefs and emotions around weight prevent us from taking statistics seriously.

Let's dive in and show you what we mean.

 

STAT: 95% of diets fail and most will regain their lost weight in 1-5 years

Emotion: Some things that might prevent a person from accepting this fact and using it to decide what to do next (quit dieting), are the time and money already invested in losing weight and the hope that that NEXT diet will work -- and why do we want it to work so badly? Our society treats those in thinner bodies better, we praise people working at losing weight and criticise weight gain and fat bodies.

To say that the diets arent going to work is TRUE but it isn’t what people want to hear.

 STAT: 35% of “occasional dieters” progress into pathological dieting, (disordered eating) and as many as 25%, advance to full-blown eating disorders

Emotion: We hold a belief that this would never happen to us, we’re just being balanced, trying to be “healthy”, doing it in a gentle way, we’re not this extreme. But the truth is that it’s a slippery slope. The hope that dieting gives us, blinds us to the many dangers of dieting and reaffirms the messaging that says that pursuing weight loss is going to solve many health issues (when in fact dieting often has little affect on health positively, particularly long term, but it does put many people at risk).

STAT: Dieting is a consistent predictor of weight gain.

Emotion: Because we so deeply believe that restriction and dieting are what keep us in control, many people see their weight gain overtime as their “fault” and they believe that if they DIDN’T diet they would have gained even more weight over this time. Dieting is so sneaky because we are told its the right thing to do, that we need to control ourselves around food and that we cannot be trusted. But we dont trust ourselves BECUASE of the physical and psychological toll of restriction! It is a vicious cycle that our deep ingrained beliefs prevent us from seeing.

STAT: A recent government survey indicated that over half the “overweight” adults

 (51.3%) being targeted are metabolically healthy, and one in four “normal weight”

 (23.5%) metabolically unhealthy adults are overlooked. 

Emotion: As a society, we have hung our hats on weight so heavily that it has become the #1 marker for health. It makes things easier for humans, who LOVE order and control. Weight simplifies health - it makes us believe we can control our weight, therefore our health, therefore our destiny and mortality. This sense of control is VERY emotional - realizing that weight isnt what we thought it was makes the idea of health and being the decider of our own wellness destiny slip through our fingers, people dont want that so they choose to hold on to the idea that weight is our personal responsibility and that in turn controls our health.

STAT: Weight and BMI are poor predictors of disease and longevity. The

  bulk of evidence suggests that five pounds “underweight” is

  more dangerous than 75 pounds “overweight.”

Emotion: Thinness at all costs has become the norm in our culture. We say it’s about health but if you ask someone if they would work this hard at dieting if it improved their cholesterol levels but didn’t change the way their body looked I’m pretty sure 99% of people would say no. The emotion behind belonging

Welcome to How to Love Your Body - on today’s episode we are going to be talking about how we practice wellness without the focus on weight/ how we practice wellness without the obsession. We share a lot on this topic because it’s the core foundation of our coaching and we thought it would be helpful to share specific examples in our lives - this is how we naturally live now - so we wanted to give some ideas to you or help you get a better understanding of what this wellness without the focus on weight could look like.

A key pillar of having wellness without the obsession is separating weight and wellness, a great way to start doing this is to grab our free 33 page workbook called Separating Weight and Wellness. You can get this at bit.ly/wwworkbook

The main point of this is that your health does not = your weight. 

A little content warning:  we do want to share that this episode is more focused on wellness - you may be in a place to hear this or you may find yourself not ready - either way it’s okay!

So here we go, here’s a mini look into how WE practice WWTO regarding food and movement: this isn't all that WWTO is but its an area we know many people are curious about:

 

The focus: Prioritizing feeling good for all things - Prioritizing feeling good after eating, as much as I prioritize allowing all food. 

Of course all food is allowed and it’s a priority but also - I want to feel good in my body so I make that just as an important priority. 

 

EXAMPLE: Ordered Chinese food and asked myself why it feels easy to stop when I feel satisfied when it never did before. I don't equate food with weight and I truly value enjoying food. That means BOTH eating what I want and feeling good while and after eating it - it is much less enjoyable if I eat too much.

The way to do this without feeling restriction is truly allowing all food, getting rid of the weight focus and valuing pleasure as a part of wellness!

Not the focus: Never eating the Chinese because of the weight. 

The focus: According to what is happening in my life - that’s how I choose to move my body or not move. Choosing from a place of what I enjoy. Typically take a walk every morning with my daughters in the stroller. Great for mental health to get outside and enjoy the sun/ fresh air (unless there is too much smoke/ too hot). Feels good in my body. I also have a peloton - definitely a quarantine purchase. It’s great to use when I feel like it - anywhere from 10-30 min depending on how I feel. If it’s too hot or any other reason I skip it until I feel like it. Not the focus: Choosing exercise that I think will make me lose weight. Doing a workout because I want to lose weight, not because I actually like doing it. Using movement as a punishment or trying to undo eating a “cheat meal.”The focus: If I’m actually hungry I eat  “real” food as in even if chocolate sounds good I’ll eat food and then have chocolate. - Just a bunch of chocolate to fill me up never feels good - this allows me to still eat the chocolate and feel good. And of course I’m choosing “real” food that I want to eat that satisfies me. Not the focus: Wanting chocolate and saying no I can’t have it and try to distract myself with something else that I don’t want to eat.

The focus: Choosing to eat nutritious food that I actually enjoy (if you hate kale don’t ever eat kale, maybe you love spinach?) AND making it actually taste good (satisfaction!). Ex. Roasting veggies in the oven with olive oil (enough of it!) and seasoning. Adding “all the things” to your salads - yes, like cheese, nuts, seeds, dried fruit, avocado, full fat dressing etc etc) - Adding butters and sauces -  spice it up! Whatever you enjoy - adding some cheese to your broccoli doesn’t reduce the amount of nutrition. It only adds satisfaction, pleasure, and enjoyment (if that’s what you enjoy) Not the focus: Eating as bland as possible to avoid extra calories and fat to try and control/ shift your body size.

The focus: Everything I d

Today we are talking about wellness without the obsession.

You can grab your free 33 page workbook to go with this episode at bit.ly/wwworkbook 

This is the end goal of our work for the people that we work with. NOTE: This doesn’t mean we think that everyone needs this goal or should want this. This simply means this is our outlook and for anyone looking for a life that still has some attention to wellness but in an entirely new way with a new way of thinking - we can help!

One vital part of attaining wellness without the obsession is separating weight and wellness.

Why? Because if we still link health and weight in our minds it will be almost impossible to practice wellness while not focusing on weight which is a central pillar of wellness without the obsession.

 

There are 3 key ways you can unlink weight and wellness:

Learn the science and research behind weight and health.

Much of what we were taught is not based in science. For instance, BMI, which I’m sure we all know by now is not a reliable tool to determine health, is actually completely random. The numbers that tell us we are underweight, normal weight, overweight or obese were chosen at random. There is no scientific reason for a person to be called overweight when they hit “25” on the BMI, body mass index.  Not to mention the many other issues such as :

BMI was not created by a medical professional and the mathematician who did create it said that it was not meant to calculate the health of individuals

The BMI was only created with white men as the subjects

BMI does not consider fat, muscle, bone density etc

There are a lot of other studies that show that the assumptions we have societally that those in larger bodies don’t live as long as those in smaller bodies is not true! There’s a lot to unpack on the scientific side of things but we will share more on how you can learn a bit more about this shortly.

 

2. Diving into your personal wellness and how it is affected by the focus on weight. We are our own greatest teachers if we actually sit with these ideas for a while and see how it relates to our own personal experience.

Take the time to contemplate - how has my focus on weight affected me? What actions do I take when I try to pursue weight loss? What results does this give me?

If I have been focusing on weight for 20 years and it hasn’t given me what I want - should I start thinking maybe the focus on weight is the problem not ME?!?

Wellness without the obsession has to start in your imagination, because it’s  likely no one in your life lives this way. 

So imagine -- what would your life look like without the thought I need to lose weight/ can’t gain weight? If thoughts about weight weren’t possible. What would happen? 

Think about it. How would you move your body? What would you want to eat? How would you want to feel? What would your thoughts be about?

This is something we want you to give real time and energy to, and we’ll share how you can do this at the end of the episode. 

 

3. Lastly - this may seem like a separate topic but identifying beauty from health and weight is also an important part of the process because our society has tangled the 3 concepts so tightly that if we cannot see which is which, it can be difficult to move forward.

The way we look has been tied to health for so long so it makes sense that we want to keep appearing a certain way so people see us as healthy, as trying our best and not judge us. But this keeps us stuck!

This doesn’t mean we need to stop caring what we look like, that is highly unlikely to happen in the society we live in, and honestly that’s fine.

Certain elements of “beauty” can be enjoyable, so how do we decide what elements of beauty are appropriate for ourselves and what fits into our lives of wellness without the obsession?

There is never any judgement here - it is solely about having a deeper look at what is serving you and what might not be.

For instance, is makeup and hair care enjoyable for you? Lov