Parts Work, Self Energy & Healing in Difficult Environments: Q&A with Mike, Part Two

Me and Mike are back, and this one goes deep.

We received so many beautiful, brave questions from listeners after our first conversation about parts work and Internal Family Systems. So we sat down together and worked through four of them in real time, the way we always do, naturally, honestly and without a script. This is one of those conversations that kept surprising me as it unfolded.

This episode is for you if:

• You understand parts work intellectually but struggle to actually access self energy when you need it
• You find it easy to feel compassion for others but the moment you turn it inward, a critical or shaming part takes over
• You are trying to heal while still living in the environment where the wounds happened
• You experience compulsive movement and feel stuck between knowing what you need and being unable to act on it
• You want to understand how to use your own anger, determination and drive as fuel for healing, not just obstacles to overcome

In this episode, we cover:

✨ How to access the compassionate parent part when a critical protector keeps taking over

✨ Why the part that reminds you of your dad showing up in self-work makes complete and understandable sense

✨ The difference between being caught up in a part and being in self, and why it is often far more subtle than we expect

✨ Why the one asking the questions and noticing what is happening is already self

✨ Healing while living with emotionally unavailable parents: is it possible, and what does it actually look like

✨ Grief and acceptance as the real foundation of healing in a triggering environment

✨ How to use triggers as invitations to turn towards the parts that need you, rather than evidence that you are failing

✨ The question to ask every single part that wants to do something harmful: what are you afraid would happen if you didn't?

✨ Compulsive movement, the biological migration response and the parts work layer underneath

✨ Why self never tells a part what it should or should not do, and why the voice saying "stop this behaviour" is probably another part

✨ Using anger, resentment and the overachiever energy to fuel recovery, and why that is not anti-parts work at all

✨ Why parts never really want to do the harmful things they do, they just do not yet know there is another way

✨ What it looks like when a part finally trusts self enough to stop the behaviour it has been using to stay safe

Powerful quotes from the episode:

💬 "The part that wants to compulsively move is not bad. It is exhausted. It just does not know there is another way yet."

💬 "The thing you are seeking, the love, connection and belonging, is where you are looking from. It is already you."

💬 "Self has no agenda. It is not trying to fix or stop anything. It is just there to listen. And paradoxically, that is when the healing happens."

💬 "I used the anger. I was a grown woman afraid of food and I was furious about it. That fury helped me face the terror and do it anyway."

💬 "You are the parent your parts have been waiting for. You can go back to where they are stuck and be the person they needed then."

We have so much more to come from me and Mike, including episodes on people pleasing, the personal development trap, seeking perfection versus acceptance, and Mike's word for this year: embody. Stay tuned.

Much love. 💛

💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group

💙 Free trial in The Freedom Collective: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching

💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching

💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach