Slavery to work, distractions, people and emotions block us from feeling like a priority in our relationships and this affects how we experience sexuality and intimacy.  For betrayed partners these distractions become triggers that eat away at the trust the couple is trying to repair. Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing co-author of Help. Her. Heal. Allan J. Katz, who has written a new book, Hey! What About Me? which is a book about  how to make oneself and others a priority.

For partners to heal, they need to know how to temper out of control emotions and how to begin to trust and protect themselves.  Instead of spending all their time working they need to balance that with play and not remain a human doing, rather a human being. When emotions shut them down, they need to know how to deal with resentments, shame, guilt, fear and eventual forgiveness.

He tells sex addicts that in order to become a priority in your partner’s eyes you both have to work on replacing character defects with healthy character traits.  This is the spiritual journey about faith, love vs. indifference, generosity vs. deprivation, diligence vs. laziness and the difference between sobriety and serenity.

A partner has to learn how to trust other people again because after trauma this is difficult.  But, also being able to trust oneself is equally important.