Who would you choose to be if you weren’t shit scared about what other people might think about you? Writer and speaker Natalie Lue has noticed that people pleasing is often a response to anxiety.

In this chat with Fearne, Natalie explains how when you desperately people please, you’re putting your self-esteem on the chopping block. In becoming disassociated from your “no” you become disassociated from your needs, desires, opinions, and limits.

Natalie talks through the five ways people pleasing might show up in your life, including ‘efforting’ (e.g. over-achieving at school and work), and ‘saving’ through trying to fix other people’s problems. Plus, a word of warning that pushing past your mental and emotional limits can lead to physical health issues.

Natalie’s book, The Joy of Saying No, is out now.

If you liked this episode of Happy Place, you might also like:

Saying No: More Boundaries, Less People Pleasing

The Good Girl Rebellion

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