097: How to support gender-creative children

08.18.2019 - By Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

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Recently a listener posted a question in the Your Parenting Mojo Facebook group asking about research related to children who are assigned to one gender at birth, but later realize that this assigned gender doesn't match the gender they experience.

Another listener recommended Dr. Diane Ehrensaft's book The Gender-Creative Child, and we are fortunate that Dr. Ehrensaft quickly agreed to speak. Listener Elizabeth co-interviews with me as we learn how to truly listen to our children when they tell us about their gender, and what we can do to help them navigate a world full of people who may know very little about - and even fear - children whose gender does not conform to expectations.

While we didn't get a chance to discuss it (too many other topics to cover!), you might also be interested to learn about the "They-by" movement, which advocates for allowing children to choose their own gender when they feel the time is right, rather than the parents assigning a gender at birth based on the child's genetalia.

 

Here are some especially recommended resources:

Human Rights Campaign’s Guide on supporting transgender children: https://assets2.hrc.org/files/documents/SupportingCaringforTransChildren.pdf?_ga=2.156922811.1499059672.1559845994-1938179427.1559845994

Recommended books for children - for ALL children, not just those actively exploring their gender identity (note: these are affiliate links):

10,000 Dresses

The Adventures of Tulip, Birthday Wish Fairy

My Princess Boy

The Paperbag Princess

Mama, Mommy, and Me

Daddy, Papa, and Me

Who Are You? The Kid’s Guide to Gender Identity

I am Jazz

Julian is a Mermaid

Introducing Teddy

Read Full Transcript

Jen: 00:01:21 Hello and welcome to the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. Today, we're going to talk about a topic that originated from a question in the Your Parenting Mojo Facebook group. Now, sometimes I have questions on my list for a long time, but other times when someone expresses an interest in a topic, they also point me toward a place to start the research, which really does speed things up and that's actually what happened with this episode. So, listener Elizabeth asked if I'd done an episode on children's gender identity and some other listeners chimed in with potential resources, one of which was Dr. Diane Ehrensaft’s book, The Gender Creative Child. And after I read the book, I knew that Dr. Diane Ehrensaft was the right person to talk to about this topic. So, she's here with us today. Dr. Ehrensaft is a Developmental and Clinical Psychologist in the San Francisco Bay Area and the Director of Mental Health and founding member of the Child and Adolescent Gender Center,

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