Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman

How Your Attachment Style Shapes Your Sex Life


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You know that weird knot in your stomach when your partner doesn’t text back? Or that moment when, after an argument, you just totally shut down? What if I told you those little patterns don’t just mess with your relationship—they sneak into your sex life too?

In this Language of Love Bite, we’re getting real about something we all bring to the bedroom but almost never talk about: your attachment style.

I’m talking about how the way you love is literally the way you touch. Whether you’re anxious, avoidant, secure, or somewhere in between, those patterns show up in bed—and not always in ways you expect. This isn’t about slapping a label on you. It’s about freeing you. Because once you get what’s really going on, you can change the script—and finally experience the kind of intimacy your body and heart have been starving for.

Here’s what  uncover together:

  • Why anxious attachment can make sex feel like a test you’re scared to fail—and why rejection hits like a gut punch.

  • Why avoidant attachment might have you pulling away from closeness, even when you’re totally turned on.

  • How disorganized attachment turns desire into a confusing, scary mix—often tied to old wounds you didn’t even realize were still there.

  • What secure attachment really feels like—being safe, present, and emotionally connected during sex.

  • And the one powerful question that reveals your true sexual attachment needs—and opens the door to healing

    Whether you're over-giving in bed, emotionally checking out, or somewhere in the middle, this episode offers a mirror—and a map. Your patterns aren’t permanent. With awareness, your attachment style can evolve. And sex? It can become a space of deep healing, not just habit.

    Want to go deeper? Grab my book Sex Magic for body-based tools that rebuild trust, safety, and sacred connection.

    Feeling seen by this episode? Share your story: Email [email protected]

    Because how you love… is how you touch.

    And you deserve to feel safe enough to surrender.


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