Touch is one of our most basic human needs. But many of us have been deprived. How can men outgrowing porn embrace healthy physical touch with each other—and prevent harm? Find out in this panel discussion with Certified Husband Material Coaches Drew Boa, Stephen Thomas, John Kilmer, and Mike Chapman. 

You'll learn:

• the importance of safe touch for emotional and sexual development
• cultural differences in physical touch between men around the world
• rules about touch for members of the Husband Material Community
• how to keep yourself and others safe from unwanted touch
• why you need to listen to your body and trust your gut
• what to do if you get a connection erection (aka "broner")
• how to fill your "touch bucket" in a safe, healthy way

The doors to HMA are open!
Enroll now at JoinHMA.com

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Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

This episode answers unique questions for married men who have sexually acted out with gay porn or other men. You'll learn what partners go through upon discovery of gay porn, why transparency matters, and how we can pursue connection with other men while continuing to rebuild trust with our wives.

Tamara Lichfield provides support for women who have experienced betrayal trauma at Becoming Shatterproof LLC.  Tamara has been trained by APSATS (Association of Partners Of Sex Addiction Treatment Specialists). She is a Certified Trauma-Informed Coach, a Certified Trauma Support Specialist, and a Certified Resilience Professional. 

You can reach Tamara  at [email protected]

On Facebook at  https://www.facebook.com/becomingshatterproof

The doors to HMA are open!
Enroll now at JoinHMA.com

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

In this workshop led by Drew Boa, you'll learn how to connect with your inner child like never before. 

To complete the exercises, you will need:

• A piece of paper (digital documents will NOT work for this)
• 3 different crayons or colored pencils (if not, just use a pen)
• A posture of curiosity and willingness to try something new

The doors to HMA are open!
Enroll now at JoinHMA.com

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

How do you take action after relapse for growth and healing without using shame or punishment? After a porn relapse, what do appropriate consequences look like?

Nick Stumbo and Trevor Winsor are members of the Executive Team at Pure Desire Ministries. Together, they host the popular Pure Desire Podcast.

Free tools mentioned in this episode:

• Recovery Action Plan (for when a relapse has occurred)
• Escape Plan (for when we are triggered or tempted)
• Relapse Prevention Plan (for day-to-day life)
• The F.A.S.T.E.R. Scale (for self-awareness)

Register for the Pure Desire Summit at puredesire.org/summit!

Nick Stumbo is the Executive Director for Pure Desire. He has been in ministry leadership for over two decades. He was in pastoral ministry at East Hills Alliance Church in Kelso, Washington for 14 years. Nick has a Bachelor's in Pastoral Studies from Crown College, an MDiv from Bethel Seminary, and is a certified Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP). He has authored two books, Setting Us Free and Safe: Creating a Culture of Grace in a Climate of Shame.

Trevor Winsor is the Marketing Director for Pure Desire. He has been in ministry leadership for 10 years. Trevor is a certified Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP). He has a Bachelor’s in Psychology from Corban University, a Master’s in Ministry & Leadership from Western Seminary, and is a licensed pastor. Trevor is passionate about integrating trauma and addiction healing with spiritual disciplines to produce holistic healing.

The doors to HMA are open!
Enroll now at JoinHMA.com

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

In this episode, you'll hear the inspiring story of George Morning ("Coach G"). We talk about the challenges faced by black men and men of color in outgrowing porn—and how societal pressures, misconceptions, and the normalization of addiction intensify these challenges. Coach G highlights the importance of finding relatable support and the power of positive internal dialogue.

George Morning (Coach G) is a Certified Addiction Recovery Coach. After 30+ years as an addict and losing family, finances, and faith, Coach G sought recovery in 2013 with The Mindful Habit. Since then, Coach G has helped thousands of men and women overcome their addictions, create healthier relationships, and live passionate lives.

Check out Coach G's book: HabitLand (this is a paid link)

Email: [email protected]

Website: beyondhabitland.com

The doors to HMA are open!
Enroll now at JoinHMA.com

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

In this episode, I'll share 7 things that shifted my sexual fetish to become less intense, less frequent, less disruptive, and less arousing. NOTE: I believe trying to alter sexual attraction is both unethical and unhelpful. My fetish has not been removed or replaced, and that is not my goal. Rather, my fetish lost its power through a series of shifts that took place as I pursued healing and freedom from porn.

Here are the 7 things that helped me:

1. Talking about the fetish
2. Understanding the fetish
3. Appreciating the fetish
4. Acknowledging the fetish
5. Completing the action
6. Receiving the real thing
7. Stopping the behavior

Related episodes:

• Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire
• The Secret Behind Sexual Fetishes
• How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies
• Unwanted Sexual Attraction

The doors to HMA are open!
Enroll now at JoinHMA.com

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What does psychodrama actually look like? In this episode, Rick Carlson tells the amazing story of his psychodrama process at the Husband Material Leaders Retreat.

Register now for the upcoming Husband Material Retreat at husbandmaterial.com/retreat

The early bird discount ends on August 1st.

Rick Carlson is a Recovery Pastor, Life Coach, and Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more at comebackcoaching.org

Dr. Doug Carpenter is an author, clinical psychologist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more at douglascarpenter.com

The doors to HMA are open!
Enroll now at JoinHMA.com

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What is psychodrama? How can it help men outgrow porn?  In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter explains why this powerful type of therapy creates profound healing experiences and accelerates freedom from porn.

Picture this: you're on stage. You're the protagonist in your own drama, undoing and redoing the story of your life. But you're not alone. Your director is attuning to you. Your auxiliaries (other actors) are supporting you by playing the roles you need them to play. Your audience members are witnessing your process as they share in your healing. You find yourself saying things you've never said, feeling things you've never felt, and doing things you've never done. That's what psychodrama allows you to do.

Dr. Doug introduces the basics of psychodrama as well as techniques like doubling, spiraling, role reversal, and using props. We talk about the need for creativity and spontaneity while staying sensitive to the Holy Spirit and the needs of each group member. We also marvel at the beauty of inviting Jesus into this process. At the end, you'll learn how we are incorporating psychodrama into Husband Material (both online and in-person) to help men heal and outgrow porn.

For online psychodrama:
Apply to join a Level 2 Husband Material Group (space is very limited)

For in-person psychodrama:
Register for the Husband Material Retreat in Santa Barbara! (September 8-12)

Dr. Doug Carpenter is an author, clinical psychologist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more at douglascarpenter.com

The doors to HMA are open!
Enroll now at JoinHMA.com

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Have you ever pretended to be fine when you're really not? In this episode, Stephen Thomas explains "I'm Fine Syndrome"—what it is, why we struggle with it, and how to crush it. You'll learn the importance of honoring your wants and needs...and the power of being authentic. Admitting you're not fine is an act of bravery and the first step towards true freedom.

Stephen Thomas is a husband and father who has enjoyed freedom from porn and hookup culture for over 14 years. He is a Certified Husband Material Coach who provides coaching for individuals, couples, and groups. Stephen is passionate about seeing men who feel hopelessly buried by addictions come alive and realize the strength God has placed in them.

Learn more at stephenthomasconsulting.com

Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group

Facebook: facebook.com/stephenthomasconsulting

Email Stephen at [email protected]

Text Stephen at 864-881-1749

The doors to HMA are open!
Enroll now at JoinHMA.com

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

"He said at 74, I am having the best sex of my life. At 74, my penis only occasionally shows up for the party. But I am still having the best sex of my life. I wish I had known in my thirties how to have this kind of sex."

What is sex ultimately about? How can married couples enjoy sex more? How do you deal with differences in sexual desire? In this episode, Dr. Michael Sytsma offers a robust theology of sexuality AND clinical wisdom on how to unlock arousal, increase intimacy, and have fun in the bedroom.

Dr. Michael Sytsma is a licensed professional counselor, certified sex therapist, ordained minister, professor, and national speaker. He has over 30 years of clinical experience in sex therapy and is the founder of Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. and co-founder of Sexual Wholeness, Inc.

Buy Mike's new book: Secrets of Sex & Marriage: 8 Surprises that Make all the Difference (this is a paid link).

Learn more at secretsofsexandmarriage.com

The doors to HMA are open!
Enroll now at JoinHMA.com

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!