In this episode, Lisa is joined by Wendy, OOTC group coaching program alum, a middle-aged cat lady, scientist, and member of a comedy band in Philadelphia, PA. They discuss the transformative journey of healing one’s relationship with food and body image, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion, community support, and mindful eating.

Topics Include:

[1:43] Lisa and Wendy begin the conversation with Wendy sharing that food was not a significant issue in early childhood, though her mom was strict about certain foods like potato chips to avoid getting fat. Wendy discusses how she started noticing her body was different from others around age 7-8, leading to social anxiety and a heightened awareness of her body.

[7:29] Wendy and Lisa discuss how media and cartoons in the 80s often portrayed fat characters negatively, reinforcing the stigma around being overweight. Lisa elaborates on how societal messages teach children that being fat is undesirable, often without questioning these beliefs.

[13:15] Wendy and Lisa discuss her being sent to a counselor in fourth grade due to anxiety about fitting in and social issues. Wendy recalls avoiding eating in front of others, especially boys, due to fear of being judged for her weight.

[19:12] Wendy discusses coming out of her shell in junior high and high school, finding confidence through theater, and noticing friends’ eating habits. Wendy realized around age 14 that some people restrict food to control her weight, and shared an incident where she unintentionally spread a rumor about a friend’s eating habits. Wendy describes feeling insecure about her body, avoiding wearing revealing clothes, and not wanting to see herself in the mirror.

[25:38] Wendy talks about using food, such as fat-free blueberry muffins, as a coping mechanism for stress and anxiety during college. Wendy and Lisa talk about the conflict between wanting to eat for comfort and not wanting to gain weight, even considering extreme measures like a tapeworm. Wendy eventually realized the need for anxiety medication and discussed the stigma around mental health in the late 90s and early 2000s.

[38:13] Wendy discussed the impact of her mother’s illness and how she stopped eating due to her mother’s inability to eat, leading to significant weight loss and a lack of energy. Lisa and Wendy discuss finally attaining her goal but feeling awful as a result of not eating.

[40:31] Wendy described a period of personal growth in her early 30s, including taking up cycling, improv, and starting a band. Wendy and Lisa talk about how her struggles with body image, including weight fluctuations and discomfort with her appearance started up again.

[44:22] Wendy recounted how they connected with Lisa through a mutual friend and joined a group program and they discuss the benefits of group therapy, including shared experiences and mutual support. Wendy shares that the group program helped her open up and learn a more loving way to relate to herself, and she appreciated the support and understanding from the group.

[49:13] Wendy discussed how the program helped her be kinder to herself, using the metaphor of not having a ‘tiger’ to fear, and how this shift in perspective reduced her self-criticism. Wendy mentioned that they became more mindful about her eating habits, choosing foods that wouldn’t cause discomfort and not feeling guilty about occasional indulgences. Lisa noted the importance of integrating and practicing the lessons learned in the program, which Wendy confirmed by sharing her ongoing mindfulness and self-care practices.

[1:06:59] Lisa and Wendy concluded with the message that it’s important to like oneself and not listen to negative self-talk, reinforcing the here of self-acceptance.

*The views of podcast guests do not necessarily reflect the views and beliefs of Lisa Schlosberg or Out of the Cave, LLC.

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