Insomnia Coach® Podcast

Kelly’s struggle with insomnia began after the birth of her first child. What started as one sleepless night quickly grew into panic-filled evenings and anxious days. The harder she tried to make sleep happen — through medication, supplements, holistic remedies, and strict routines — the more elusive it became. Sleep turned into an obsession, and every decision seemed controlled by fear of another difficult night.

Things began to shift when Kelly discovered that her body wasn’t broken — it was the exhausting fight with insomnia that was fueling her struggle. She started to let go of rituals, loosen her grip, and give herself permission to live more freely. At first she worried that these changes might just be more sleep efforts in disguise. But with reflection, she realized the difference was in her intention: instead of chasing sleep, her actions were now serving her life.

Kelly also transformed her relationship with thoughts. Rather than identifying with them or trying to push them away, she learned to notice them as experiences she couldn’t control — stories and sensations that didn’t have to dictate her choices. With less resistance, they lost their power.

When she became pregnant again, insomnia returned. But this time, Kelly approached it differently. Instead of getting pulled back into an endless and exhausting battle, she leaned into acceptance. She reminded herself there was nothing she could do to force sleep, and gave herself permission to rest, watch a show, or simply allow the night to unfold. Slowly, the fear eased, her days opened up again, and sleep returned on its own terms.

Today, Kelly no longer measures progress by hours of sleep, but by how little influence sleep has over her life. She’s free to live her life — and sleep takes care of itself. Sleep is, once again, effortless.

During a trip to Switzerland, Stephanie had a night of no sleep and spent the next day battling panic attacks. Her sleep soon recovered, but that experience planted a seed of fear — a fear of going through another day like that if sleep didn't show up.

Months later, when a medical diagnosis and abrupt medication changes disrupted her sleep, that old fear returned — stronger, louder, and harder to ignore. She threw everything at the problem: strict sleep hygiene, medications, rigid rules, new routines. But the harder she fought for sleep, the more relentless the struggle became. Some nights she found herself outside at 3am, wrapped in a blanket, scrolling for answers — exhausted, anxious, and desperate for relief.

The turning point didn’t come from a new trick or another pill. It came when she stopped fighting. When she stopped treating wakefulness as a threat and gave herself permission to feel what was already there — the fear, the frustration, the anxiety — without trying to push it away.

In this episode, Stephanie shares how letting go of the fight helped her start showing up for her life again. She talks about responding to difficult nights with more presence, more compassion, and more trust in her ability to cope — and how she rebuilt her life one night, one breath, one value-based action at a time.

Stephanie’s story is a powerful reminder that recovering from insomnia isn’t about winning the fight. It’s about realizing there was never a fight to win in the first place.

Laura never expected insomnia to arrive during one of the happiest times in her life.

She had just gotten engaged. She was heading out on vacation. But one sleepless night quietly snowballed into many — and nights quickly became something she feared.

She tried everything: supplements, routines, medication, strict sleep hygiene. But nothing seemed to work. The harder she tried to fix sleep, the more distant it became. And eventually, she realized the struggle wasn’t just with sleep — it was with her thoughts and feelings about sleep.

She found herself caught in a loop: trying to control, reason with, avoid, or edit every uncomfortable thought. Every wave of fear or frustration. And it was exhausting.

The real shift came when she began to relate to insomnia differently — not as a problem to defeat, but as an experience to meet with less resistance. She practiced making space for the thoughts and feelings that showed up, and bringing her attention back to actions that helped her live the life she wanted to live.

It wasn’t a straight path. There were setbacks. Relapses. Hard nights that tested her resolve. But each time, there was something to learn. Because while change is hard — not changing can be even harder.

And Laura kept going. With persistence. With compassion. With honesty. With courage.

Today, she still has the occasional tough night — like all of us do. But those nights have lost all the power and influence they once had over her. She knows how to move forward, independently of sleep, and no matter what thoughts and feelings might be present.

This is Laura’s story.

Rebecca never struggled with sleep — until she began working 24-hour shifts as a hospital-based midwife.

She cared deeply about her patients, and she made a quiet promise to herself: nothing would go wrong on her watch. That meant staying awake through every shift. Over time, that vigilance seeped into her nights at home. Sleep became something she chased — and then something she feared.

Rebecca tried everything: medication, strict CBT-I programs, endless data tracking, a long list of rules. And still, sleep didn’t come. She followed every instruction, but nothing seemed to work — and somewhere along the way, she started to believe that something was wrong with her. That she wasn't doing something right.

What changed wasn’t a new pill or a stricter plan. It was her relationship with sleep — and with herself.

She began practicing a different approach. She gave herself permission to rest without sleep. To play golf. To laugh with friends. To live with uncertainty and discomfort instead of fighting them. She made room for the thoughts and feelings that once overwhelmed her — and realized they didn’t have to control her life.

Sleep didn’t return overnight. But as her days became fuller and her nights gentler, it began to come back — naturally, and with far less struggle.

Today, Rebecca still has shorter nights from time to time, as all human beings do. And they no longer define her or limit her. Because she knows: she can still live fully and move forward — no matter what the night brings.

Rupsa never had issues with sleep until a big change in her professional life led her to move to a new city. As sleep became difficult, she experienced a lot of anxiety. Her heart would race. She started to develop a fear of going to bed at night. She'd spend four or five hours awake in bed, hoping to fall asleep.

Working with a psychologist provided Rupsa with some clarity and her sleep got slightly better for a couple of months. However, when she started a new job, insomnia returned with a vengeance. The more she tried to make sleep happen, the more difficult and exhausting it became.

Everything was going well in Rupsa's life apart from sleep. It felt as though her mind was working against her. The more she tried to silence her mind, the louder and more distracting it became. The more she tried to make sleep happen the more of a struggle it became.

Things started to change when Rupsa realized that trying to fight or avoid uncomfortable or difficult thoughts and feelings was consuming her energy and attention and pulling her away from the life she wanted to live. So, she started trying to be more open to whatever showed up.

As she did this, she found her thoughts and feelings often contained important information. Reminders of what mattered to her. With this, she discovered that her mind was never working against her. It was actually working for her.

Rupsa stopped trying to control sleep. She practiced bringing her focus and attention back to the present whenever it drifted away. She was kinder to herself. She became more accepting of whatever her mind might do and whatever each night might bring. With this, a burden was lifted — and, with going practice, things started to get better.

Rupsa now sleeps well and, when the occasional night of less sleep shows up, it no longer has any power or influence over her.

Tim’s insomnia began during a stressful time in his life. At first, it was just a few bad nights but the more he worried about it, the worse it got. The harder he tried to fix his sleep, the more he struggled.

Things started to change when Tim learned a new way to deal with insomnia. He realized that trying to control sleep was actually keeping him stuck. So, instead of resisting wakefulness, he began to give it permission to exist.

As he stopped following strict sleep rules and gave himself more freedom, Tim learned that being awake at night wasn’t the real problem — it was his response to the fear of not sleeping that made things harder.

Over time, as Tim let go of the struggle, sleep showed up all by itself, without him needing to go to war with insomnia night after night. And, when he stopped chasing after sleep and focused on living his life independently of sleep, insomnia lost the stranglehold it once had over his life.

Although Sophie never considered herself to be a good sleeper, things got really difficult after the birth of her son. As a new mom, she knew there would be some short-term sleep disruption — but when she was no longer able to compensate for lost sleep after her parents left and her partner returned to work, things got really difficult.

Sophie's doctor prescribed her medication and she found herself increasing the dosage to make sleep happen but it wasn't working for her. Benadryl didn't work. Turning off all screens two hours before bedtime didn't work. Wearing blue light blocking glasses didn't work. Having a relaxation routine didn't work.

At this point, Sophie felt desperate. She wanted to have a bigger family but thought that would be impossible if her sleep didn't improve. She was no longer sharing a bed with her partner even though that was something that was important to her. She felt like a failure. She felt trapped. When she found the Insomnia Coach podcast, Sophie realized that she wasn't alone and that there was a way out of the struggle.

She started implementing a sleep window and she used the time she spent awake at night to do meaningful projects such as creating a baby photo book, rather than tossing and turning and battling away trying to make sleep happen. Things improved for a few months until insomnia returned and seemed to take over her life.

At this point, Sophie decided to work with me. She wanted a clear plan. A new way forward. She wanted to arm herself with skills that would help her get her life back from insomnia.

Sophie shifted the focus of her attention away from trying to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen and toward actions that reflected her values and that kept her moving toward the life she wanted to live, independently of sleep.

As she did this, she realized just how capable she was. She could get stuff done — stuff that mattered to her — regardless of how she slept. This left her feeling empowered and reduced the power and influence sleep had over her life. She no longer put as much pressure on herself to make sleep happen. This, in turn, helped sleep become increasingly effortless.

The difficult thoughts and feelings that often come with insomnia also started to lose their power and influence as Sophie became more aware of the power she had in choosing how to respond to them.

Sophie experienced ups and downs on her journey. And yet, she remained committed to the new way forward she had chosen for herself.

Sleep no longer predetermines how she will feel the next day or what she will do the next day. She knows she always has options and is always in control of the choices she makes. She's back to sharing a bed with her partner. She is ready to grow her family. She is free from the insomnia struggle.

In 2019 Danny was going through a stressful period in his life while also being on a big health and fitness kick. When his sleep started to become a problem, Danny became very concerned and his doctor offered medication.

When Danny started to make some lifestyle changes to reduce stress, reduce the intensity of his training, and ensure he was eating sufficiently, his sleep started to improve. Danny felt relief, believing that he'd found the cure — that sleep needed a certain amount of exercise or a certain type of diet to happen.

As time went on, Danny found himself increasingly focused on protecting his sleep through diet and exercise. This, in turn, created a lot of sleep-related anxiety — and when really difficult nights returned in 2022, Danny realized that diet and exercise weren't the guardians of his sleep after all. Looking for answers, Danny spent his days troubleshooting and trying to figure out a way forward.

Danny discovered that the key to getting his sleep back on track was to reduce the power and influence sleep had over his life. For sleep to be effortless, he needed to move away from putting effort into making a certain amount or type of sleep happen.

In this episode, Danny describes the approach he took. It involved committing to actions that mattered to him each day (no matter how small), independently of sleep. It involved identifying and eliminating sleep-related rules and rituals. It involved ensuring his actions served him rather than insomnia. It involved acknowledging all the difficult thoughts and feelings that came with insomnia and being kinder to himself when things were difficult rather than trying to fight or avoid them and being harder on himself.

This process wasn't easy. It took commitment, resilience, and effort. It requires ongoing practice. Today, Danny's sleep is back on track. And, when the occasional difficult night shows up, it no longer has any power or influence over him or the life he wants to live.

When Esther tried moving away from a medication she was taking for generalized anxiety disorder, she found herself struggling with sleep. She would often wake with a jolt and experience panic and anxiety. Even when new medications helped with other issues, sleep continued to be a challenge and created a lot of ongoing anxiety.

Esther did a lot to try to get her sleep back on track. She tried going to bed earlier. She tried CBD oil. She tried supplements. She tried to tire herself out through exercise. None of those things got her closer to where she wanted to be. Esther was determined to get to the root of the problem, which seemed to be all the difficult thoughts and feelings associated with insomnia.

On her way to work one day, Esther came across the Insomnia Coach podcast and listening to the stories of people who had overcome their struggle with insomnia motivated her to start working with me.

In this episode, Esther reflects on the changes she made that proved to be most helpful for her. They included going to bed later at night, doing something more pleasant whenever she found herself struggling during the night, continuing to do things that mattered to her even after difficult nights, and acknowledging her thoughts and feelings and refocusing on the present moment (rather than focusing on trying to fight or avoid difficult thoughts and feelings).

Esther also shares some of the key educational insights that helped her reduce the amount of pressure she was putting on herself to make sleep happen. Her superpowers of self-awareness and self-reflection also revealed that the difficult thoughts and feelings she had been trying so hard to fight or avoid often came with the same physical sensations associated with more pleasant thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

As she committed to a new approach, Esther realized she had new options available to her when it came to responding to insomnia. Options that wouldn't create more struggle, consume more energy, put more focus on sleep, and keep her trapped in the vicious cycle of more trying and more difficulty.

Esther became less fearful about the possibility of insomnia showing up. She became more comfortable in its presence.

Insomnia lost the power and influence it once had over her.

Irina's struggle with insomnia began when she experienced a night of no sleep. This created fear and confusion and Irina worried that something serious was going on — that something might be broken in her brain. The more she tried to make sleep happen, the more pressure she put on herself to make sleep happen, the more elusive it became.

Irina tried medication but that left her feeling unrefreshed and didn't deal with the hyperarousal and increasing levels of anxiety she was experiencing. Turning to cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), Irina found sleep restriction helpful in the short-term because it helped her rediscover the reassuring sensation of sleepiness rather than fatigue and exhaustion.

Unfortunately, the CBT-I technique of stimulus control which involves leaving the bed when awake at night backfired because she was someone who loved spending time in bed — so getting up felt like a punishment and something that raised the stakes at night. She ended up putting more pressure on herself to make sleep happen and that, in turn, made things more difficult.

The turning point came when Irina committed to an approach that didn't involve actions geared toward trying to make sleep happen. Although she was originally outraged at the idea of accepting the presence of insomnia and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that come with it, the fact that so many people who had recovered from insomnia were telling her it was the only thing that worked for them led her to commit to this new approach.

Acceptance was not easy but ongoing practice helped Irina build skill in experiencing insomnia with less struggle. She became less attached to the idea that she needed to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen. She became more comfortable experiencing difficult thoughts and feelings. The focus of her attention expanded and, as that happened, the power and influence of sleep and insomnia shrunk.

Irina let go. She allowed the full range of human thoughts and feelings to come and go as they chose. She gave sleep the opportunity to take care of itself while she took care of doing things that helped her live the life she wanted to live. And, that's exactly what happened.