It Didn’t Start With You:

Breaking Generational Patterns

and Healing the Past

Summary:

In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the powerful concept of generational patterns and how our family history shapes our lives. Drawing on insights from Mark Wolynn’s book It Didn’t Start With You, they discuss the science of epigenetics, the influence of cellular memories, and how unresolved trauma, behaviors, and strengths can be passed down for generations. Through personal stories and client experiences, they show how mapping a genogram can reveal inherited patterns in health, relationships, addictions, and emotional responses. Most importantly, they share practical ways to break unhealthy cycles, embrace healthy habits, and become the “chain breaker” for future generations.

Listeners will come away with tools for self-discovery, compassion toward their family history, and actionable steps to transform inherited patterns into a healthier legacy.

Suggested Resources:

Book: It Didn’t Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle – Mark Wolynn

Book: The Body Keeps the Score – Dr. Bessel van der Kolk

Website: FamilySearch.org – Free tool for building family trees and discovering ancestral stories

Article: “What is Epigenetics?” – CDC resource

Tool: Genogram templates (available through many therapy and family mapping resources)

Practice: Daily mindfulness or meditation for emotional regulation

Exercise: Create your own genogram noting health history, relationships, addictions, and major life events across at least three generations