It's Christmastown

CHRIS COLLISION returns for FROZEN IN LOVE (2018) and: THEME ... Meet the Other Guys ... Title reminiscence ... The Gymkata trailer and All-In With Chris Hayes ... Rachael Leigh Cook/She's All That Appreciation Station ... Metropolitan shout-out ... BREAK ... The Expositional Challenge: The Back to the Future reversal ... Plot cleanup ... A pretty good comedy! ... You must trust RLC ... Classic coffee demand in a Canadian library ... Incompetent hockey execs, plausible hockey scenes ... Lunatic laughter ... No sludgy plot middle ... Rom and a com, but not a romcom ... Normal, adult resolutions ... BREAK ... Journalismism: Wikipedia for Ice Hockey; New Yorker-style in media res; 'Claiborne Booted, Royals Rile Ref'; plagiarized National Post article; Integrity Media Group; Denver, Vermont; chocolate chip cookie Wikipedia BS; Mark Kurlansky Shade Station; upsetting books; grimmest book club in history; the word "colonialism"; PR charts and graphs; Derrida, Deleuze and Guattari ... BREAK ... Eat Your Heart Out: Futzing with salad; bubble-free champagne; twice-baked potatoes; reasonable kitchens, pre-cut bread slabs; no-look kettle fill; no Dido budget ... Hallmark Expanded Universe: Christmas-romance bookstore vs. "Two Weeks" Garbage Store Murder vs. Janet, the Denver Royals and the PR firm in Dater's Handbook ... Adult baseball ... BREAK ... Overdetermined: Not really overdetermined vs. "On the Same Page" and hockey/book fair underwriting vs. black-tie hockey enforcer apology surprise ending ... Crossover: Ten-years-on mumblecore workplace rumination vs. Rachael Leigh Cook's Sudden Death and Larry Bud Melman's Yosemite Sam vs. You've Got Arena! ... BREAK ... Hallmark Bechdel Test: Yes, but novel ideation ... Finally honest with mom ... Great Moments in Moppetry: Solid penalty-killing, Make-A-Wish loser, solid 3 ... BREAK ... The Leftovers: Decemberists B-side ... Wutherin' ... Social anxiety and alcoholism subtext ... RLC's concluding kissing scenes ... Get Carter ... Prospera Center and Quesnel Millionaires ... How does box-sliding help? ... Chokeslam: The Movie ... Bigger puck ... Possession metrics ... Merry Christmas ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "If U Want It," from Cyber-Vision, by Drew Fairweather • "She's All That Freestyle" • "Kiss Me," by Sixpence None the Richer • "3 Small Words," by Josie and the Pussycats • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane • LINKS: Gymkata on All-In with Chris Hayes • Tom Keiser on Sudden Death

SARA KATE WILKINSON is back for CHRISTMAS AT THE PALACE and: How a Christmas movie ends ... THEME ... Present! ... Royalty and figure skating ... Well above average ... The Expositional Challenge: Will SK's streak continue? ... Brittany Bristow Appreciation Station ... Secondary plot almost stealing the show ... Elizabeth Reaser Apprectiation Station ... Andrew Cooper: handsome, accented, COPD ... End objectification ... BREAK ... Plug! ... SK's The Last Ship take ... Spot the Angel: Ghost fakeout goose egg ... San Senova's batsh*t founding legend and mythical astronomy ... Clutching a Rope Holding a Scope ... Grinch King vs. Christmas King ... Canceling on diplomacy for your teen ... Deposition via feet ... CORRECTION: The Battle of Jena was in 1806, and you'd think Jeb'd know this, since he wrote a term paper about it ... Abduct my daughter, please! ... Real talk, Kings, give money for Christmas, please ... BREAK ... Eat Your Heart Out: Adorable Christmas cookies, Frankensteined leftover canapés ... Hallmark Expanded Universe: Where is the Millers' farm? vs. Max Powers' overseas set and Gus Van Houten's casino empire ... The Netherlands Windmill Museum as an entire country ... Juddering camera ... His Majesty's putting green ... BREAK ... Overdetermined: Jessica's plot recap vs. That Thing Your Mom Used to Say Medley ... Understudy BS ... Crossover: British boys' school handjob romp vs. Anne Hathaway/Julie Andrews backstabbing romp vs. Gymkata ... BREAK ... Hallmark Bechdel Test: Yes! ... Great Moments in Moppetry: Rated 1 ... The Leftovers: King Arthur font ... Geometrically increasing garland ... Small ice rink, limited citizenship ... "You were so close" ... "Do we curtsey?" ... A family tradition of carrying the tree wrong ... Dr. Giggles ... BREAK ... Helen, Georgia and Mayor Cinnamon ... Rating: 4+ ... Notting Hill poach ... Oh no, no beau ... Date and Ruler of the Underworld and never say goodbye to a loved one again ... Slow-mo emo ... Sizzler ... San Senova Christmas Pageant DVD bonus ... Jump-cut stories and wordless walkoff blocking ... The Royal Marital Aids ... Merry Christmas ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "If U Want It," from Cyber-Vision, by Drew Fairweather • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane

NORTHERN LIGHTS OF CHRISTMAS (2018) rings in our new year with: Geraldine Somerville appreciation station ... Slacking on good movies, transcribing bad ones ... THEME ... Catching up ... A powerfully soporific movie ... Bread Alert ... Let's talk sourdough ... Not a freaky bread sicko ... Mr. Frodo, the sourdough starter ... "Oh, it's the water" ... Distracting from your own shortcomings ... BREAK ... Ashley Williams and Corey Sevier appreciation station ... Gosford Park ... More Michael Gambon murders wanted ... The Expositional Challenge: Easy! ... That reindeer was no angel ... How I Met Your Mother: Dad's complete sexual history; the en-loathsomed main character; Liberal Arts; Ashley Williams jobbed out; too charming for her lead ... The Seinfeld Conundrum ... Missing Anne Heche ... "Do you have a reindeer problem?" ... Missing the overprogrammed Christmas activities ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: It takes a village??? ... Malcolm Gladwell Sucks: An Interlude ... Eat Your Heart Out: One coffee point and a peppermint follow-up ... The Art Hindle Cronenberg gallery ... Binaca flan ... BREAK ... Hallmark Expanded Universe: Zoey's charter flights for outbound Hallmark people ... Overdetermined: Everything is Gus vs. Bailing on the "fest" as a sales gimmick ... Crossover: David Mamet vs. Anne Heche ... The Swagony of Defeat: Is Zoey getting double miles? ... Hallmark Bechdel Test: Like, probably yes, but also it's probably Ashley Williams' work ... Easy to get pumice ... Morel agita ... BREAK ... The Leftovers: Cold vs. Not-Cold ... Dissonant wine bottles ... Lambrusco ... Secret cornflake cookies ... They're playing our song, "Joy to the World" ... Forgetting cape things ... Rating: 3 ... Merry Christmas • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "If U Want It," from Cyber-Vision, by Drew Fairweather • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane

SARA KATE WILKINSON is back to MINGLE ALL THE WAY and: There's an app for that ... THEME ... This made me crazy ... Title first, plot second ... 1 fake boyfriend, 1,000 plots, 3 meet-cutes ... The Expositional Challenge ... We'd use Mingle all the Way at least once ... Fake networking means fake boyfriend ... Keeping secrets by inviting people to family dinner ... Want some crepes, Beez? ... Jen Lilley a little "soap" big ... Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf-level hostile flirting ... Jeff likes trees ... Too much going on ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: None! ... Adorable texting ... Jeff doesn't read as too into Molly ... Eat Your Heart Out: HOUSE that cake, girl; peppermint latte; gallons of nog ... Lindsay Wagner's Tron house ... Dirk Benedict on the Love Boat ... BREAK ... Hallmark Expanded Universe: Any of them, or Chicago ... Overdetermined: "Here's why YOU use your app" vs. "She's even funny" ... Extra Expanded Universe: Jeff making wreaths with Elle in "Christmas in Love" ... Crossover: It's Die Hard again ... Remembering the one POC from this movie ... Great Moments in Moppetry: 3 ... BREAK ... Swagony of Defeat: Keepin' it MOIST ... Hallmark Bechdel Test: Nooope ... Jeff's insane rudeness about Molly's cooking ... The Leftovers: Bare chest Santa ... Desk plate ... "Our song" Silent Night ... Tinsel time is here again ... Decorating the office for Tyler ... BREAK ... Ghost snowball ... Molly's friend early-reveals the app ... Overrated nemesis exposure ... Marmalard-ass Brent ... Ruining drapes with trees ... Rating: 3 ... Lisa's also teaching me French ... Merry Christmas ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "If U Want It," from Cyber-Vision, by Drew Fairweather • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane

It's our Christmas episode! With 2018's WELCOME TO CHRISTMAS and: Worry about your driving ... THEME ... Let's talk about our Christmases! ... Going someplace colder than NYC to not do anything ... Little Rock, a place with a winter ... Cleaning before leaving ... Puddle of Mudd roadie day ... Lax-cooking relatives vs. cooking nerds ... Rope-a-doped into making dinner ... Cousin Dave ruins the demi-glace ... Avocado on sausage pasta: DIS-RE-SPECT-FUL ... Cemetery Man shout-out ... Baked pasta funeral vibe ... Look at you drinkin' nog ... Do your best and have fun ... Scandinavian sot suppe ... Half a century of fart jokes ... F*ckin' smelts ... Penis fish ... BREAK ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot cleanup ... Second-guessing the wisdom of giant corporations and unlimited growth ... Townsfolk embracing debate ... Decent jokes and callbacks ... Discount-incentivizing the ornament hunt ... Doc Hollywooding the stranger again ... Eric Mabius' chaste gender/sex ambivalence ... Interiority vs. Indifference ... Disconnected repartee and forced meaningful glances ... Honoring first responders ... UK cop costuming ... "Mabius, play Signed, Sealed and Delivered...and armed" ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: No angels, yes moppets ... Eat Your Heart Out: Normal cookies, normal coffee shop, eating like a trapped houseguest, where are the damn turkey legs and where's the damn ham? ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Eric Mabius' Signed, Sealed, Delivered gritty backstory vs. The Sweetest Christmas's sister city ... Overdetermined: Everything vs. A Christmas Carol, Haruki Murakami's Die Hard, and sister-on-sister guilt-tripping ... Crossover: A Groundhog Day of employment competency and a town cursed by permanent Christmas ... BREAK ... Hallmark Bechdel Test: A narrow pass limned by a woman's empty life ... Great Moments in Moppetry: Put some respect on that moppet (2) ... Partner Chat: Bailed for spreadsheets and chores ... The Leftovers: "It's Christmastown" ... Macho Man Umberto Eco ... Clownshow tree decorating ... BS Christmas tree lot "game" ... Spider egg sac Christmas tree ... Lorem Ipsum Christmas song ... Madison Gage ... Rating: 3 ... Merry Christmas! ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "If U Want It," from Cyber-Vision, by Drew Fairweather • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane

Grab your chopsticks, it's won-ton soup time in 2016's THE MISTLETOE PROMISE, which vows: A frozen contract-honoring stupor ... THEME ... Centered-font intra-family legal brief ... Acknowledging the D-word ... We liked it! ... Real-life banter ... Anti-Andie MacDowell ... Is this something stupid you're doing? ... BREAK ... Doing it live: The Expositional Challenge ... Plot cleanup: The Reindeer Report, disadvantaged kid travel, negging assistant, buddy Holly, angelic office assistant, lawyer sabotage, "I also know a cop" ... Adventures in the food court ... New York Fries, Boston Pizza, Boston Louts, Brahmin Pizza ... Mariachi carolers ... Figgy Pudding ... Corn Dog 7 ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: No angels! ... Classic Lines: Jaime King looks terrific in everything; Audrey Hepburn nun; Clinton/Starfleet collar; costume diamonds/coffee sweetener; Luke Macfarlane's tie four inches above the belt; Stargate/Hallmark overlap; don't put Christmas trees on your overcoat ... Eat Your Heart Out: Won-ton soup with pickles; nipples of Venus; normal party; You Can't Duck Sauce on Television; champagne and hot-chocolate; kids watching adults for fun; The Sucky Plumber; champagne and candy canes; Skull and Bones; no one who chews Big Red could be bad ... BREAK ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Charity travel for low-tier Hallmark characters vs. Empire State hotel and running into Alicia Witt at the nut cart on an empty NYC street ... Overdetermined: Perhaps not overdetermined at all vs. rejecting Nick's kiss attempt ... Crossover: Bendini, Lambert and Locke vs. Richard Paul Evans' bleak and horrifying original novel of multiple vehicle fatalities ... BREAK ... The Swagony of Defeat: Product placement assumed but not confirmed ... Hallmark Bechdel Test: A single person surrounded by satellites of man-obsession ... Partner Chat: The heads-I-win-tails-you-lose of the breadwinner/caretaker dichotomy expressed via who can be a romantic dumbass in the office; Jamie King's compelling life story; Hallmark's infantilizing expressions of female strength; "This is bananas"; the Ebert theory of judging by the movie's aim ... The Leftovers: Christmas tree landing ... Canadian interiors ... "Eccrou" ... Captain D's ... Santa fakeout ... Never selfie with ex-models ... The Ethics Crusader's ethics indifference ... Backseat skepticism ... Lochlyn Munro: Lesser Busey ... White Chicks ... Rating: 4 ... Champagne reprieve ... We're making duck! ... Merry Christmas ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "Let's Go to the Mall," from How I Met Your Mother, performed by Cobie "Robin Sparkles" Smulders • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane

SARA KATE WILKINSON returns a fourth time for THE NINE LIVES OF CHRISTMAS, the movie that spawned the theory that 9/11 never happened in the Hallmark universe and includes: Determined to be unique! ... THEME ... Good movie, cult fandom ... Kimberley Sustad appreciation station ... "Godwink" ... Immortal Kathie Lee Gifford ... The Expositional Challenge ... Old dads and twentysomething sons getting equally hot ... Trapper John, MD, Hunter, Falcon Crest, MacGyver ... Spot the Angel: Ambrose the Cat (not of Milan) ... Lousy with angels ... BREAK ... Eat Your Heart Out: Mangiamo's; gleaming rolls; Folger's Product (again); flat champagne; sliced bread; Mrs. Claus' candy-cane ice cream bucket; cute meet-cute; "horrible diarrhea"; dog food and taco shells; Taco Bell wrapper; antihistamines and poultry; just desserts ... BREAK ... Hallmark Expanded Universe: A snowless and normal place; least Christmasy Hallmark Christmas movie; Oregon-less Portland ... Wicked New England without 9/11 OR Tawmmy Brady ... Lovable firemen, male friendship network, and multitudinous women friends ... Humanesque universal innocency ... Alicia Witt clumsy-jogging into everyone ... Kimberley Sustad: Beautiful normal-looking person ... "She looks like a newscaster!" ... BREAK ... Overdetermined: Determined; unexplained phobia; fireman dad; correctly firing Chekhov's guns; puma callback; model and pet-store heiress; ostentatious fire-truck PDA; trashing your "psychotic" girlfriend to another woman; escaping via smoke breaks ... Vogue toothpaste editorials ... Don't give the stranger your friend's address ... BREAK ... Crossover: No Superman references; Chicago Vet ... DICK WOLF ... Singing the Law & Order theme ... The Swagony of Defeat: Folgers Tubbb! and Wal-Mart bags and zero pet-food promotion ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Did it fail by a lot? ... My firefighter boyfriend lives in Canada ... Bogus as hell firemen calendar ... Neutered-but-horny Instagram firehouse cat ... Partner Chat: We haven't kissed, but do you want to live in my house? ... BREAK ... The Leftovers: Marilee and Merrily ... Kelvina Picklesmith ... Evicted at the Angel Arms ... Hiding my cat in front of the bay window ... Flashing a BS badge ... Violating your fireman's oath ... Kimberley Sustad: She's my sister! She's my daughter! ... The best kind of pretty ... Roving Christmas party Santa ... Wife-as-handyman ... A shade of Marilee White ... ART THOU FORLORN??? ... Weird party excuse ... Beautiful in a fireman's coat ... Rating: 4.5 ... Merry Christmas ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "If U Want It," from Cyber-Vision, by Drew Fairweather • "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant" by Billy Joel • "Run Rudolph Run" by Chuck Berry • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnan

KAREN GEIER is back in our dang kitchen for 2018's CHRISTMAS AT GRACELAND and: No response from the Pootie ... THEME ... Outrage on Elvis's behalf ... Not getting "Elvis" ... Drug sponge with a badge ... Bad movie, hard to remember ... EPCOT shout-out ... Kellie Pickler at Waffle House ... Crushing-clunker line reads ... BREAK ... The Expositional Challenge: Reggaeton ... Plot cleanup: Best friend Sally and house for sale; Banking Dad; endless gifts; barbecue sauce; Clay as Mark Wahlberg in Fear ... Active hostility toward the south ... Multi-regional accents at Grace Lint ... Southern Received Pronunciation ... BREAK ... Every Time A Bell Rings A Second Unnecessary Modest Mouse Percussionist Gets His Wings: Quadruple-dipping on "Silent Night"; sangin' weeyith an ack seeint; stank on "Noel"; should be called No W; hardly any Elvis; Soccer Elvis; ADR and clunkers; here's your guitar or whatever; Kellie Pickler and gospel ... Spot the Angel: When the only angel is the plutocrat; the perfect Santa of capitalism; sharing work product and violating an NDA; has anyone been to a bank before? ... THEME ... Eat Your Heart Out: Taking Chicago and the South's food culture and not having any food at all; Hot Cocoa is married to Ice-T; nuclear-powdered ice-rink hot chocolate; Tree Man Syndrome; unreal rice-crispy squares ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: LeeAnn Rimes in Memphis in Canada and Michigan and NY vs. A gritty prequel of an absentee dad ... Overdetermined: A fictional and featureless magical south; Seaman Beaumont shout-out; Elvis's horny ghost and kids at Graceland; Clay and Laurel find that coming home is around the corner; ditching your other best friend from 3rd grade; the black family in a Friday's bed-and-breakfast ... BREAK ... Crossover: Man vs. Fool's Gold Loaf ... Hallmark Bechdel Test: Women be workin' and single parentin', less regressive than expected ... The Leftovers: Christmas light night-light ... Going out at night on a travel day ... "Do all of these other people live at Graceland?" ... Memphis snowfall ... Disney's Americaland hotel room ... Boss reading Memphis area music programs ... There are flights to Chicago ... Flocking-ass Christmas trees ... Turning the lights on AFTER decorating the tree ... The correct German way of Christmas lights ... Gas-filled s'mores ... Leave the door open for wilding-out houseguests ... Great Moments in Moppetry: 1 ... Rating: 1.5 ... Plugs! ... Merry Christmas! ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "If U Want It," from Cyber-Vision, by Drew Fairweather • "Black Dog/Hound Dog" by Dread Zeppelin • "Elvis and Bears" by The Red Elvises • "Ballad of Elvis and Priscilla" by The Red Elvises • "Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane

Idolator founding editor MAURA JOHNSTON joins us for MARIAH CAREY'S feature directorial debut in 2015's A CHRISTMAS MELODY and: Andy Daly in the Hallmark universe ... Camptown Races ... THEME ... Maura's Christmas bona fides ... Mariah Carey and Long Island Christmas ... "All I Want for Christmas Is You" ... Idolator shout-out ... BREAK ... The Expositional Challenge ... Are homeless Santa and janitor Santa the same Santa? ... "Oh Santa!" in the movie ... Mariah Carey's extreme filters ... Manicure closeup ... Mariah's Seagal-esque immobility ... Palanquin-heavy live show ... Mariah's accidental auteur directorial style ... Christmasy live show ... First bad review in high school ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: Over in 44 seconds ... Eat Your Heart Out: Give peas a chance; dead-cat-bouncing gluten-free jokes; Saved by the Bell; Luke Danes reprise again ... Brennan Elliott dragging huge chemistry out of Lacey Chabert ... Mariah Carey 70's auteur ... Hallmark Expanded Universe: Chabert's intense high school football rivalry with Summer in the City, Ohio vs. Stars Hollow again ... Actually shot in Ohio ... Mariah's Inland Empire ... BREAK ... Overdetermined: Hoist by the Mean Girl petard; mom makes your clothes; schizophrenic consumerism; twinkling engagement ring from dentist husband; "I'm in charge, remember?"; watching for comeuppance; Long Island bustin' out with sport-parenting; track suits; name sewed on your jeans; Skyline chili; relentless harping music cues; the Santa-song wish reasoning ... Crossover: Carol Kane Glitter-punching on slappers only; "It's the Jets game!" vs. Everlasting with Brennan Elliott; Unreal shout-out ... "Man in Car" in "Life Is a Highway" ... BREAK ... The Swagony of Defeat: Folger's presents: Tubbb! ... Stunod! It is Stacker 2 ... Hallmark Bechdel Test: Probably??? ... The Leftovers: G-rated dance face smack ... Valid Christmas tree market ... Sudden stalker male lead ... Chabert and separate filming micro-climates ... BREAK ... Great Moments in Moppetry Rating: 5, but variable ... Squickily vampy preteen daughter performance ... Dubbed "Oh Santa!" and useless accompanist piano ... Oh, Georgia, you're so popular ... Chabert: Precocious 10-year-old at 30 ... The AAH Group ... Sudden potential body-switching comedy ... They never add the extra plot ... Rating: 3 ... Hello to Kathy Najimy! ... Ego death with Mariah ... Mariah video comps ... Spinal Tap limo driver ... Merry Christmas! ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "If U Want It," from Cyber-Vision, by Drew Fairweather • "My City Was Gone" by The Pretenders • "Bloodbuzz, Ohio" by The National • "Life Is A Highway" by Tom Cochrane • "Georgia" from Music For Sleeping Children • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane • Check out stills from the movie here!

SARA KATE WILKINSON returns a third time for Countdown to Christmas Four in CHRISTMAS IN LOVE, with: I'll make the Wiki ... THEME ... Hallmark Graceland and Elvis sandwiches ... Christmas decorations: before Pearl Harbor Day? ... Balsam Hill: the ornaments your decorator buys ... Appropriate decoration density ... Hot Take: Cute, and it's good ... Adults with real motivation ... Brooke D'Orsay Appreciation Station ... Seamless ... At Christmastime, but not really about Christmas ... "Quality Time" vs. quality time ... BREAK ... The Expositional Challenge ... Again: a good movie ... A sane and adult quit ... A proudly pro-labor movie ... Roasting "learn to code" ... Fixing a dopey heir ... Technology as not-magic ... Basically real people ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: [No Actual Angel] ... Eat Your Heart Out: Kringle familiarity; what else do you make?; BobbyBigWheel shout-out; iced-out cookies; diner culture; booze bag ... Hallmark Expanded Universe: Brendan Routh crossover vs. Brooke D'Orsay doppelgängers ... Marc Blucas ... Overdetermined: There really isn't anything vs. the skeleton of another Hallmark movie beneath this flesh ... Hallmark Bechdel Test: Christmas crafts vs. year-round product diversity ... BREAK ... The Leftovers: Hideous wreaths ... Open ex-boyfriend ... Borderline kiss on the cheek ... A woman-initiated kiss! ... It stayed on the right side ... No hairnet, great hair ... Elf outfit ... Good male costuming ... I thought you'd never ask me to help you write a business plan ... Drunk honor student ... Human in crisis ... One error: selective disbelief ... They don't lay off HR ... "It's his job to protect the town" ... Rating: 4.5 ... LinkedIn Sara Kate ... Merry Christmas ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "If U Want It," from Cyber-Vision, by Drew Fairweather • "A Real Hero" by College & Electric Youth • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Marianne