May 29, 2025

Jessica Baum & Adam Lane Smith: Why Emotional Safety Is the Key to Real Love

1 hour 19 minutes

In this powerful episode, attachment expert Jessica Baum joins Adam Lane Smith to unpack one of the most essential yet misunderstood pillars of a healthy relationship: emotional safety. Together, they explore why safety isn’t just a “nice to have” in love, but a biological and psychological necessity that shapes the way we connect, heal, and grow. Whether you’ve struggled with abandonment wounds, anxious or avoidant patterns, or felt unseen in your relationships, this conversation offers deep clarity and actionable insights.

Topics Covered:

👉 Why many women unconsciously expect men to be a source of total safety and why that’s unsustainable

👉 How emotional safety is built through connection, rupture, and repair

👉 The impact of childhood attachment wounds and parental regulation on adult relationships

👉 How men's fear of vulnerability leads them to suppress the very tools that create intimacy

👉 Understanding neurosception and how the nervous system detects safety or threat

👉 Why safety isn’t “doing” more but “being” more present with pain and fear

👉 The unconscious tendency toward self-abandonment in order to maintain connection

👉 Why women often mistake a need for emotional parenting with romantic expectations

👉 The difference between selfless (fear driven) and selfful (grounded) caregiving

Emotional safety isn’t a destination. It’s a dynamic, living process between two people willing to show up, attune, and grow. If you're ready to understand your patterns and start healing from the inside out, this conversation is a must.

Check out Jessica’s book for deeper insights and take Adam’s free attachment style quiz at adamlanesmith.com to begin building healthier connections today.

Stay tuned for more expert insights and relationship advice in future episodes!

If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode titled ‘Attachment Specialist Fixes an Avoidant Woman’ https://youtu.be/zSaZrRedRUc

Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com

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Follow Adam Lane Smith:

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Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/

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Jessica Baum:

Website: https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/jessicabaumlmhc/?hl=en

The next episode drops Thursday :)

See you there.

Visit: https://iwishyouknew.show/ to lean more about the podcast

To Learn More About @AttachmentAdam

https://adamlanesmith.com/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg

https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/?hl=en

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By Adam Lane Smith & Andrey Korikov

4.7

4646 ratings