Julia Samuel psychotherapist and author who returns to the podcast to talk about how we can learn to love ourselves. The topic of this podcast was sparked by a conversation Julia (@juliasamuelmbe) and I had at the end of 2020 when we discussed how liking yourself, or loving yourself, is the foundation for the relationships you are subsequently able to form with others.

It made me wonder if your relationships are always challenging, cause your stress and/or pain or leave you heartbroken, is it wise to take a step back and examine how you feel about yourself before you make connections with others.

In this episode, we discuss attachment theory, why loving and being loved is such a vital component of our identity, the risk in loving others and why we need to pay more attention to our feelings, rather than override them because of what others think because they are actually trying to steer us towards the things we need.

We also, very unscripted I hasten to add, did a little exercise - The Felt Sense by Eugene Gendlin - which was a first for me on this podcast. Speaking of that exercise, it’s slightly hypnotic and could be distracting so please be aware of this and don’t follow along if you’re driving, operating heavy machinery or if your attention is required elsewhere. 

Before I sat down for this call with Julia, I was telling some friends that I was speaking to her again and as Julia has a huge amount of expertise in grief counselling and living losses, someone suggested I ask her about the end of friendships, female friendships in this instance, and how devastating they can be.

I think the end of friendships can be trivialised in a way we wouldn’t do with a romantic relationship and so in this episode, we discuss why it’s legitimate to feel the same, or similar, kind of heartbreak after a friendship ends as it is when a relationship does.

Julia's book This Too Shall Pass is available now.

Julia's podcast A Living Loss is available on all good podcast platforms.

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