The world's teeeeniest podcast hosts (Caleb and Shelby) invite on the tiiiiiniest guest (writer/performer/recent sister wife Lily Sullivan [The Righteous Gemstones, I Think You Should Leave, Comedy Bang Bang!]) to talk about about this parmesan cheese commercial for an hour. They are all so small and so brave.

This episode also marks the development of a brand new spinoff podcast, hereafter referred to as a "side pod," wherein one of the hosts or even the guests themselves start their own separate conversation on a topic of their choosing, directly to camera. A real chaotic surround sound experience from the people that brought you the original chaotic stereo sound experience known as Keeping Records.

Lily's Artifacts

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Caleb and Shelby invite comedian and writer Vinny Thomas into the gauntlet (our recording studio) to find out if he can survive an hour in the hottest room known to humankind (the Headgum AC was broken). See which of the following symptoms of heat stroke according to WebMD.com you can spot amongst the three of them throughout the duration of the episode: 

Vinny's Artifacts

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Comedian/Tennessee native Laura Peek logs on with Caleb and Shelby to wade through the trials and tribulations of the best/worst four years of everyone's life: high school. Remember senior privileges? Remember absolutely roasting your teachers any time they even slightly misspoke? Remember how hot it was when 16-year-old boys chewed tobacco and had that little faded ring on the back pocket of their jeans? Yeah, no, definitely, us either, we also think that's gross........  

Laura's Artifacts

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No amount of explicit content warning could possibly prepare you for what happened when writer/actress Tamara Yajia stopped by the Keeping Records studio as our first in-studio guest. Producers and Headgum staff still traumatized, need time to process. We ask that you respect our privacy and we have no further comment at this time. 

Tam's Artifacts

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An episode that will undoubtedly be used as a resource on LGBTQIA+ allyship and gay rights manual for the alien species forever into the future. Writer and world's biggest and last remaining Pinkberry customer Jill Gutowitz stops by to explain to us (and the aliens) that adjusting a lesbian's clothing is actually a homophobic slur, how to get a boyfriend through AIM as a young closeted resident of New Jersey, and that the looks exchanged by hot young cheerleaders in an early aughts cinematic masterpiece are actually peak gay.

Jill's Artifacts

Follow Jill on Twitter and Instagram and buy her new book, Girls Can Kiss Now, out now from Simon & Schuster. 

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This week on the pod, Caleb, Shelby, and Emmy-winning (!!!) writer/actress/comedian Ashley Nicole Black get into it. It = the best moments of the human experience, the things we should be most proud to show off to the aliens in space. It mostly = the 1997 ouevre My Best Friend's Wedding.  

They also get into the use of stalls vs. urinals, how to actually give someone a compliment without telling on yourself, and an absolutely harrowing tale from Caleb's dating life. Let this be a reminder to do a thorough background check on all your dates, lil freaks!!!!

Ashley's Artifacts

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Live (not really!) from the brand new Headgum Studios (yes really!) it's everybody's favorite comedy/friendship duo Caleb Hearon and Shelby Wolstein!!!!

Our first in-studio episode has something for everyone: Caleb trying to cry on command and then blaming everyone else in the studio when he can't; Shelby revealing that God is her social media manager; the two of them reconciling after a near-show-ending fight about potato chip flavors; and Caleb's mom texting to ask a question that's been on all of our minds lately: "What is Netflix?" No answer is given.

Of course, Caleb and Shelby also turned to you, their lil freaks, to see what you've been wanting to add/delete from the Golden Record these days:

Your Record Additions

Your Deletions

• When Escalators Are Out of Order (Inconvenience)

P.S. If you like it when Caleb and Shelby sing, this is the ep for you.

Watch the video version of the episode

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What if we sent the absolute most unhinged takes on present-day society to the aliens on a Golden Record? Would it confuse them? Maybe make us seem wild and ungovernable? 

Or do they also think that only women and children should be allowed to wear flip flops and that all dogs should be kept outside? 

Those are the questions we reckon with on this week's episode with "small ex-Hasidic queer Jewish stand-up comedian, writer, and true original," Robby Hoffman. A must-listen, especially if you're an alien that thinks you might want to make contact with the human race to your own detriment. 

Robby's Artifacts

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Musician/producer Brian Robert Jones stops by the ~virtual~ Keeping Records studio to talk about what the kids mean when they say "throwing neck," TI-89 calculators, and his lifelong dream of performing live at KFC's Yum! Center in Louisville, KY. (Where, incidentally, Shelby thinks would be a cool place to lose your virginity.) 

The best part of this perfect episode is that there was not a single technical difficulty or internet connection issue and we all love recording podcasts remotely for everyone's safety. It's the best!

Brian's artifacts: 

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This episode is mostly Caleb and Shelby singing along to their favorite songs. But they are at some point joined by actress, filmmaker, and amateur pop culture oracle Sarah Ramos, who has a long list of her fave pieces of modern civilization to send out to space (notably Taylor Swift's entire discography, RuPaul's drag race, and weed edibles). 

There's also a discussion of best practices for self-tapes, and how to avoid being embarrassed when someone walks in on you in the bathroom. Probably also useful for the aliens to know, we have to assume!!!

Sarah's Artifacts

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Watch the video version of the episode

Follow the show @keepingrecordspod

Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.