Caleb and Shelby are joined by writer Ruby Caster to discuss how Ruby and Shelby can't read (bummer!!) and whether or not table-side Caesar salad preparation is inherently gay.

They briefly touch on Ruby's Golden Record picks (which is incidentally the point of this show): romaine lettuce + parmesan cheese, the best band to have ever existed, and Midol, which Ruby attests is a miracle drug. Spoiler: it seems it is not.

Ruby's Artifacts

Follow Ruby on Instagram and Twitter. 

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Comedian Maggie Winters joins Caleb and Shelby for their second video episode, which devolves into chaos after a game of f*ck, marry, kill. Shelby leaves the zoom but eventually returns. Caleb's tennis leg cramps? Back for a special appearance. Also, everybody learns what paramour means. 

Eventually they get to Maggie aka Marguerite's Golden Record, which is a blend of visuals and experiences the Aliens will love. On the topic of her Disney past, Caleb and Shelby ask the pointed but necessary question: is Maggie someone who calls Goofy a friend? And stick with us here: Goofy's paws are, more often than not, "up." Is Goofy...a lil freak?

Maggie's Artifacts

Follow Maggie on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok

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Contributing music by John Bartmann https://johnbartmann.com

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Caleb and Shelby are back with their first video episode, which also just so happens to be a Listener Submission episode. Caleb questions the quality of his video, but decides he doesn't care because he looks great on camera. Meanwhile, Shelby's shadows? Sort of going wherever they want. Before diving into your picks, Caleb and Shelby analyze:

And Listeners...your submissions for this week are equally alarming and beautiful, welcome bark lil freaks:

Your Record Additions

Your Deletions

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Caleb is back from Missouri. Shelby is still in Ohio. There seems to be some question of whether Caleb is someone who enjoys biking but rest assured that he is into it.

Comedian River Butcher is on the podcast today, and he's got the '90s on his mind. Well, the '90s and a song by Softee that absolutely GOES. River's Golden Record has the sound, look, and feel of a pre-2K world, because the aliens deserve it. And frankly? You do, too. 

River's Artifacts

Follow River on Twitter and Instagram

Get tickets to River's show at Sketchfest in San Francisco on January 14.

Get tickets to River's shows at The Crocodile in Seattle Jan 21 and 22.

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Caleb and Shelby cope with being apart by contemplating their sexual chemistry.

Comedian Jo Firestone is on the podcast this week, as is her dog companion Loaf. Jo loves Loaf, and we love Loaf. We love specific brands of tomato sauce, we love Greek women yelling at us to get our lives together, we love munching on ice, and we love the sound macaroni makes when it's getting stirred together. Wait...do we? Regardless, we do not love rats nor the sounds they make when tickled.

Jo's Artifacts

Follow Jo on Instagram and watch her new special Good Timing with Jo Firestone on Peacock.

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Shelby is in the studio. Caleb is in his and Shelby's old home. The novel coronavirus is in Caleb. (Ok, was in Caleb, he is feeling better, thank you.)

It's a Listener Submission episode, and Listeners...your submissions this time were just...all over the place. You made Caleb and Shelby think about some weird and terrifying stuff that they definitely didn't want to think about, including but not limited to:

Caleb poses a unique question: If you had to go into space for five years, what one streaming service would you bring? What one genre of music? What four friends? Shelby has some difficulty answering.

Your Record Additions

Your Deletions

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Caleb has moved out. Shelby is also moving out. Distance has come between them, but their love for one another bridges that great divide.

Here to observe our hosts' attempt at coping with separation anxiety are Chair Professor Daniel Chua (University of Hong Kong) and Fanny Peabody Professor Alex Rehding (Harvard University), co-authors of the book Alien Listening: Voyager's Golden Record and Music From Earth (Princeton University Press).

A discussion between four academic equals unfolds, focusing on how the Golden Records can teach us to differently hear and analyze music. Throughout the lecture, the esteemed professors make a Golden Record together with just as much food on it as there is music.

For all of our listeners with terminal degrees in their respective fields, this one is for you. 

Daniel's Artifacts 

Alex’s Artifacts

Original Voyager Artifact

Purchase Daniel and Alex's book Alien Listening: Voyager's Golden Record and Music From Earth!

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Caleb is off on a long-haul fishing boat, being forced by the crew to bite the head off of a live herring as a hazing ritual. That means Shelby is going to need some assistance this week.

Enter: comedian Grace Kuhlenschmidt. The guest host we need. The guest host we deserve.

Together, Shelby and Grace welcome comedian, actress, and writer Greta Titelman to the pod to unpack what is easily the most ambitious record to date—a full-length compilation drawing from every discipline, plus one thing that only makes sense in writing if your podcast player supports text formatting. And yes, they are going to get through The. Entire. Record.

Greta's Artifacts

Follow Greta on Instagram and Twitter, and listen to her new Headgum podcast Senior Superlatives with Greta Titelman on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Hello, all of our special friends! And welcome to the show!! We're so happy to see each and every one of you, come on into our tree fort! We're launching Golden Records into outer space so that aliens far away can know ALL about the human race long after we've all turned to ash!!

Today we're making a record with someone we care about so much, writer and actor Ryan Ken! Take a look at their record!! It's got a singer, an actor, hot bods, and great food! 

Ryan's Artifacts 

Follow Ryan on Instagram Twitter and TiktTok!

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Fresh off of their weekend of debauchery in New York City (read: being kept up by neighbors and flooded in their hotel), Caleb and Shelby have a date with comedian, writer, and producer Alison Leiby (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, The President Show) to plan out her Golden Record. Alison wants to show the aliens our best media, and for them to be orally fixated and in comfortable footwear the whole time.

Alison's Artifacts

Listen to Alison and cohost Halle Kiefer on their podcast Ruined

Follow Alison on Instagram and Twitter

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