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Hi everyone, and welcome back to Happy Hour. 欢迎回来酒馆Halloween Special.
Now I know some of you are not really a big fan of the Horror Genre like me, but don't switch off yet, I promise you I will not scare you in this episode.
And you remember last Halloween Special, we focused on all these stupid things people do in the horror films? think of today's episode as a sequel to that. So the Happy Hour Presents your survival guide in horror movies and TV shows.
How many times have you screamed at the TV while watching a horror film？Yelling things like don't go down there you idiot, sell the house. Perhaps a lot of you think that if you were ever in that situation, you would definitely not be that stupid.
平时我们经常开玩笑说, 如果我们在宫斗剧里能够活到第几集; 但是咱们今天升级一下难度, 看看在恐怖剧集里你能活多久.
The thing is we might think we can easily outsmart these dumb-dumbs in horror flicks. But the fact is even if you are the fastest the strongest or even the smartest, in the world of horror movies, no one is safe.
In fact, your chances of survival are pretty low.
One wrong move could mean a horrifying death. The good news is we've got the know-how to help you out. In the horror thriller genre, there a lot of conventions, well, cliches.
其实像我这种 “阅片无数” 的狂热爱好者, 早已经摸透了恐怖惊悚片的套路, there’re many tropes and cliches, today, you're going to learn how to survive in a horror flick.
Rule No.1, be a good person, but not too good.
I know that sounds a little contradictory, but it's going to help you make it out of this with your life, your sanity, and all your body parts still intact.
恐怖片看多了, 多半都能看出每个人的人设, and horror movies love to punish jerks, bad people.
So if you're the mean cheerleader or the obnoxious jock, so if you're like the sexy but mean type, like to bully other people, then your days are numbered.
Rude characters are usually killed off early; and the meaner you are, the more spectacularly brutal your death will be.
Audiences just love to see jerks get what they deserve. So if you're mean, you know you're not gonna make it out alive. It's better to be the kind-hearted leading man or woman, because statistically you stand a much greater chance of surviving a night of terror.
But here's the thing. You don't wanna be too nice or too good, because then you tend to do some pretty stupid things like helping the stranger by the roadside, taking in a poor little girl who’s looking for her mommy.
Just remembered a phrase, No good deed goes unpunished. 恐怖片里做好事不一定有好报, 所以第一条铁律 “做好人, 但千万别要做没有底线的傻好人.”
That would significantly improve your chance of survival.
Survival Rule No.2, don't investigate.
What was that strange noise out in the woods？ I'd better go check it out, alone.
What？That's the dumbest thing you could possibly do. Don't go into barns, basements, graveyards, ancient burial grounds, abandoned asylum, abandoned school, abandoned hospital, abandoned everything.
They are abandoned for a reason, just don't go into them; because this is guaranteed a way to get you into some really sticky bloody situation.
But if you still can't resist a temptation to investigate, then remember two things.
Number one, don't ever split up with your friends. 可如果你的好奇心过于旺盛, 你非要去investigate,那么就记住不要split up with your friends, 不要跟你的朋友分开.
If your friends so much as suggest splitting up, you should tell them to ‘shut up’, because you know the minute you guys split up, you will face your final scene;
And Number two, when you go for a quick investigation, don't ever say I'll be right back. No, you won't be right back. You will be bloody and hanging from the garage door, you know that.
所以第二条铁律, 事出反常必有妖, 千万不要好奇心过剩, 什么事都想一探究竟.
Rule No.3, turn around because who or whatever it is that frightens you, it's always behind you.
While hiding from deranged knife-wielding thing of evil, you might ask yourself, where is it？The answer, right behind you.
不管是神鬼妖狐还是杀人魔, 只要你找不到他, 他一定就站在你身后. Learn from tho