Latter Day Struggles

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In this episode, Val & Nathan explore how moving from the depths of faith crisis to spiritual transformation must involve the embracing a journey that both transcends former paradigms while including their place in each person's upward journey. 

To illustrate this, they use the poignant article written by the much beloved LDS scholar Melissa Inouye, who beautifully illustrates this principle through her personal faith journey within the framework of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, including moving personal realizations that came to her shortly before she succumbed to cancer only recently. 

 This episode highlights the importance of embracing complexity and using love as a lens to view different levels of consciousness as they unfold within ourselves and others.  Tune in to this heartfelt and insightful tribute to Melissa, who walked a path of 'transcend & include' that can be honored and followed as we each grow in consciousness.   

00.00 Intro

02:33 Integral Theory and its Broader Applications

03:32 Focus on Spiritual Transformation

04:05 Introduction to Melissa Iue's Article

05:35 Melissa Iue's Faith Journey

09:14 Embracing the Church's Contradictions

12:40 The Role of Covenants and Community

21:03 Facing Illness and Finding Support

24:11 The Complexity of Church Structures

27:24 The Path of Most Resistance

28:26 Melissa's Faith Journey

29:27 Transcending and Including

30:45 The Lens of Love and Empathy

32:01 Dignifying Individual Spiritual Journeys

34:17 Transcending Anger and Embracing Love

36:32 Melissa's Article and Personal Growth

42:57 Family Dynamics and Spiritual Growth

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In this episode, Valerie shares an inspiring journey of self-discovery and spiritual growth with The Wholeness Network.  The theme was Brene Brown's exploration of the concept of "Braving the Wilderness" and on the heels of three years of learning to live & love one's truth at a potentially high social cost, Val felt that she had a couple of things to say about this.   

This episode is a sharing of history, emotion on both ends of the spectrum and ultimately,  a tale of courage, compassion, and finding one's true place in the world.  

00:00 Finding My Path: Early Struggles and Discoveries

00:40 A Surprising Call to Ministry

01:06 Discovering a Passion for Therapy

02:38 The Journey to Graduate School

03:18 Embracing Complexity in Faith and Life

04:40 Launching a Podcast: Unexpected Success

07:40 Understanding the Faith Journey

08:11 Stages of Faith and Personal Growth

10:25 Challenges and Courage in Faith Transitions

15:40 The Role of Compassion and Empathy

23:45 Trusting Oneself and Embracing the Divine Within

27:49 The Price and Reward of Spiritual Journeys

28:05 Experiences of Resonance and Support

33:28 Navigating Faith and Personal Growth

42:36 Understanding Patriarchy in Faith Communities

50:58 The Impact of Enmeshed Family Systems

58:22 Embracing Wholeness and Self-Integration 

Afterward:  After their forced resignation from the LDS church in March of 2025, Val & Nathan were invited to share their stories on about a dozen podcasts.  Due to Nathan's currently heavy travel schedule, most of these guest appearances are (unfortunately!) just Valerie.  Thanks for sharing this journey with the Hamakers! 

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In this episode Val & Nathan feature a powerful article titled, "What Can I Do?" by political analyst and friend, Brian Dille, exploring how to find common ground amid political and ideological divides. Discover actionable insights on how to engage in meaningful activism, focus on shared values, and build bridges instead of walls. This episode is a thoughtful exploration of how to transcend current limitations while honoring our developmental paths.

00:14 Introducing the Transcending and Including Series

01:52 The Inspiration Behind the Series

04:30 Introducing Brian's Article

14:38 Reading Brian's Article: What Can I Do?

28:14 Effective Local Advocacy

28:51 Mitigating Harmful Policies

29:24 Making Your Voice Heard

30:20 The Power and Limits of Protests

32:09 National Efforts and Local Impact

34:03 Conclusion: Taking Action and Self-Care

35:11 Transcend and Include: Bridging Ideological Divides

44:33 Finding Common Ground in Political Discussions

56:16 Real-Life Examples of Collaboration

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In this exciting solo episode, Valerie reflects on the profound personal growth she has experienced over the past few months and shares her plans for what she is informally dubbing the "Latter Day Struggles 2.0" era.  

In some ways, you will continue to get what you have come to expect--a respectful & honest conversation about all things Mormon through the lens of healthy psychology.  Where 2.0 is going to shine is in several upcoming  "Transcending & Including Mormonism" special series that will run every Friday for listeners looking to deepen their faith journey, finally get 'unstuck', or are hungry for their next wave of deepening growth. 

Join Val in embarking on this new chapter, offering deeper, more holistic explorations of faith and consciousness.  

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In 2016 I went Trump and so did over half of the caucasian women who voted in the United States. Why? In this episode I use myself as a specimen for the study of the white, middle-class, educated, Christian, conservative, heterosexual, married woman who felt more comfortable voting for an old, white man with a questionable resume and even more questionable track record around his respect for my exact demographic. 

And guess what? The exact same percentage of the exact same demographic did the same thing in 2024 (minus myself, I am proud to report). 

Tune in to learn more about the psychology of this voting block and (surprise surprise) how this phenomenon has everything to do with what Christian conservatism often embeds in women accustomed to male leadership as ordained of God, an older white male deity, lower self advocacy, & the need to be safe in a man's care & a life committed to deferring to others' wisdom & well-being. 

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:16 Reflecting on Personal Vulnerability
00:32 Political Series Recap and Ken Wilber's Theory
03:21 Exploring the 2016 Trump Election Phenomenon
05:38 White Women's Voting Patterns
12:22 Psychological and Cultural Influences
20:17 Personal Experiences and Reflections
32:17 Understanding Women's Support for Trump
52:58 Concluding Thoughts and Personal Growth

Referenced in this Episode: 

Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny - Kate Manne

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In this episode Val is a guest on the Join Latter Day Digest podcast & what unfolds is the very unlikely story that led to Val's and Nathan's eventual 'outlaw' status within the LDS church.  Why is this so odd?  Because this couple could not have been more traditionally believing for the majority of their lives--including spending most of their marriage following all of the traditional scripts of Mormonism...which in some ways worked and in other ways didn't work that well at all.  

Then something happened within Val & Nathan (different life-shifting changes/crises) and their paradigms changed...radically.  From living traditional roles prescribed by outside 'experts' on their lives to becoming passionate advocates of finding courage, truth, and God-connection within, Val shares a journey that might offer hope to anyone out there who thinks transformation isn't possible.  

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:22 Valerie's Early Life and Background

02:04 Young Women's Experience in the Church

04:33 Struggles with Traditional Gender Roles

10:06 Mission and College Years

16:25 Meeting Her Future Husband

18:53 Professional Aspirations and Challenges

22:01 Empathy and Helping Others

24:50 The Cost of Doing the Right Thing

25:22 Balancing Family and Career

25:48 Struggles of a Stay-at-Home Mom

27:44 Finding Joy and Autonomy

29:46 Guilt and Cognitive Dissonance

33:15 Pursuing a Career in Mental Health

36:43 Starting a Private Practice

41:10 The Birth of Latter Day Struggles Podcast

43:58 Helping Others Through Faith Expansion

47:05 Commitment to a Higher Calling

50:43 Conclusion and Future Plans

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Series Title: Polarization, Trump Victories, & the Story of Human Progression (& Regression) [Part IV of IV]

 In today's final episode of this thought provoking series, Val & Nathan discuss on-the-ground ways that we each can invite the 'better angels of our natures' into our own worldviews and personal dialogue with those in other stages of development.  
They emphasizes the importance of validating diverse perspectives, embodying compassion, and finding common values for a more unified future.  

This episode lands where all of Val's & Nathan's work endeavors to arrive:  that the ultimate healing & growth come from embodying more and more love.  If we cannot love those in earlier stages of development, why would they be motivated to grow and evolve?  

Stay tuned for a couple of episodes where Val & Nathan look at specific examples of 'transcending & including' challenging ideas & people in both the political world of today & in today's polarized LDS spectrum.  

This series will be most effectively understood & integrated by those who are full access listeners and therefore will drop every Friday for the next four weeks. Thank you for your ongoing support!

**The ideas from this are drawn from the scholarship of Ken Wilber and his insightful book 'A Post-Truth World: Politics, Polarization, and a Vision for Transcending the Chaos'

00:00 Introduction and Series Overview
00:13 Ken Wilber's Theories on Development
02:33 Understanding the Trump Victory
05:20 The Failure of the Woke Movement
07:07 Proposals for Moving Forward
08:57 The Importance of Hierarchies
16:16 Embracing Multiculturalism and Inclusion
23:40 Modeling Compassion and Peacemaking
27:55 Addressing Root Causes of Behavior
35:56 Finding Common Values
37:09 Navigating the Social Culture Wars
37:27 Respecting Traditions and Integrating Narratives
40:10 Effective Communication and Shared Experiences
41:12 What Not to Do: Avoiding Common Pitfalls
44:20 Connecting with Modern Rationalists
50:38 Principles for Approaching Different Levels of Development
57:34 Embodying True Cosmo-Centric Values
01:03:22 Final Thoughts and Future Directions

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Missed the LIVE Q&A where Val recently answered the flood of questions that have come in on the heels of her & Nathan's brave series venturing into the realm of politics, polarization & human/cultural evolution of consciousness? 

In this Q&A Val takes some very challenging questions and walks you through ways in which politics & religion are reflections how people make sense of some of their ultimate concerns about themselves & others.  Don't miss this episode if you have been inhaling their current Friday series or if you are thinking about inhaling it very soon!  

00:00 Introduction and Purpose of the Live Session
03:32 The Impact of Current Events on Mental Health
04:02 Human Growth and Development in Political Context
05:32 Introducing Latter Day Struggles 2.0
06:00 Transcend and Include: A New Approach to Faith
07:35 Understanding Human and Societal Development
09:47 Integral Theory and Its Relevance Today
11:22 Stages of Consciousness and Societal Growth
14:18 The Role of Politics in Human Development
19:43 Addressing Listener Questions
20:41 The Importance of Dialogue and Understanding
27:07 Personal Reflections and Political Evolution
47:46 Red Flags in Spiritual and Political Leaders
55:00 Talking to Children About Current Events
01:01:58 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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Series Title: Polarization, Trump Victories, & the Story of Human Progression (& Regression) [Part III of IV] 

In this episode Val & Nathan discuss how societies evolve upward in love, inclusion, & consciousness, unless something goes terribly wrong from those on the leading edge of consciousness. In short, if the leading edge does not both 'transcend' in consciousness but ALSO 'include' the value of the earlier stages, then evolution is prone to halt or even move into a regression of consciousness.  

Looking at our current climate of political polarization, Val & Nathan analyze how the woke movement's shortcomings and Trump's rise in power reflect deeper issues in how societies advance, or don't advance, when course correction is needed. The conversation centers on how the failure to love and include earlier developmental stages can regress societal progress.  This phenomenon is not so much about politics as it is about human (and society's) growth & development.   They will be going much deeper into this topic as it relates to religion and the LDS faith in later episodes.  

This series will be most effectively understood & integrated by those who are full access listeners and therefore will drop every Friday for the next four weeks. Thank you for your ongoing support!

**The ideas from this are drawn from the scholarship of Ken Wilber and his insightful book 'A Post-Truth World: Politics, Polarization, and a Vision for Transcending the Chaos,'

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In this episode Valerie is the guest on the thought-provoking Inside Out Podcast, one of the first podcasts to interview her following the dramatic events that led up to the Hamakers' decision to resign from the LDS church rather than collude in an excommunication process that they did not endorse as ethical, legitimate, or appropriate.  

This episode takes you through Val's early life and path leading to her current work and delves into the challenges she faced with church leadership due to her public mental health work on behalf of thousands of Latter-day Saints through her Latter Day Struggles Platform.

Among other things, Valerie discusses the critical tensions between church policies, doctrines, and personal mental health, while providing insights on how the LDS Church can evolve to better support its members.  

**In the next several Monday episodes documenting Valerie's and Nathan's experiences connected to their resignation from the LDS church in March of 2025, Valerie represents the couple as Nathan is currently working out of town and unavailable during traditional recording hours.  They apologize as so many of you so deeply benefit from his unique insights and perspectives!  

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