Lesli shared why she got started in her practice. A little girl was brought to her who was the rope in her parents' tug of war who was only five at the time. She realized she needed to work with the parents to really be effective at helping people in her situation.

We talk about the myth of the "Mind reading school of marriage." Where we wrongly assume that our spouse can read our mind, know what we're thinking, and what we desire them to do. The solution is to spend a lot of time talking about our expectations.

"Many times you don't know you have expectations until someone violates them." -Lesli

There are some common things that people hear about marriage that it takes work, and it takes compromise, and it takes sacrifice. And I say, if you're doing any of those things, you're heading down the wrong path. When we think of compromise, we think you give up something. I give up something, we meet in the middle sacrifice. We're giving up something. It's the giving up that's the problem. If I feel like I have to give up something, then I opened the door to resentment. Versus if we negotiate to a decision, we're choosing this path. Meaning that the other paths aren't being chosen, we're not giving them up. We're just choosing this and it's a much more positive way of looking at it.

Marriage is a very unique relationship. There are things that undermine it and things that make it stronger. Successful relationships find ways to address those issues. There is also no "normal."

Some of the Ex-It Strategies clients come into the relationship not knowing how they grew apart and what Lesli lets her clients know is that if that's the situation you find yourself in you can learn to grow back together, if you want to.

We discuss discernment counseling. It is a form of counseling that helps people make a decision to either get married, stay married, or file for divorce. It's a very specialized type of counseling that Lesli is trained in. 

What are irreconcilable differences?

• One of you wants children and the other doesn't
• One of you wants to be monogamous and the other doesn't

Other than those two most things can be worked through by a couple willing to do the work.

For Lesli, any issue that someone is addressing is a sign that the marriage can work.

Lesli breaks down her program to help people work through the "chore wars" with the division of labor in the household. It may not ever be equal but you can make it equitable.