Let's Talk Polyamory Podcast

Have you heard the term ACCIDENTAL POLYAMORY?

This is what some call those unexpected journeys that lead individuals and couples into exploring polyamory dynamics either as a willing participant or with some fear or resistance.

In this episode, Accidental Polyamory: Now What? we cover 3 different unexpected scenarios one can find themselves in.

Imagine you're in a monogamous relationship, and suddenly, one partner expresses a desire to explore consensual non-monogamy or open the relationship. How do you navigate those conversations and potential changes? 

Or, picture this: you're single and enjoying the dating scene when you meet someone amazing, only to find out they are polyamorous. How do you handle being with someone with multiple partners, and determine if this is a relationship style that suits you?

Maybe you’re already non-monogamous - like a swinger or in an open relationship - and then you or your partner start developing deeper emotional connections and want to shift to a more polyamorous model. How do you handle this significant change?

We share other definitions and terms you might come across in these situations like cowboy/cowgirl and poly-bombing.

Join us as we share real stories, expert insights, and practical advice for anyone finding themselves unexpectedly on the path to polyamory. 

Whether you’re curious about polyamory, already practicing some form of non-monogamy or simply interested in the diverse ways people love and connect, this episode is for you!

Resources referenced in this episode:

Thinking about opening your relationship or diving into polyamory? It sounds thrilling and 🔥hot, right? Imagine the excitement of meeting new people and having the freedom to explore both emotional and sexual connections with them.

For us, it's been an incredible and fulfilling journey, surpassing our wildest dreams.

But, there are some unexpected risks and challenges that can threaten the security of any relationship.

In this episode, we share our personal experiences and cover the things you'll want to be ready for including:

✨ Feeling different than you might imagine.

We share specific examples for each point and provide insights on how to better prepare yourself for the unexpected as you navigate your personal journey!

Resources referenced in this episode:

- Poly Newbies Digital Course - https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiescourse⁠

- S1E8 podcast episode: How is My Attachment Style Impacting My Relationships  - https://open.spotify.com/episode/3KUuTKZQKRNHBISBeynIvq?si=R2jyYOCDT1ueCM4BgIzatQ 

- Attachment Quiz - https://quiz.attachmentproject.com/ 

- S1E5 podcast episode: Sex Parties 101: A Guide to Being the Best Host and Great Guest - https://open.spotify.com/episode/3cOwAFpV7tpRgR56tzRtvf?si=ZRUMtrsaSp-VBd83LUyM2g 

* all podcast episodes also available on Apple and YouTube podcasts, Amazon Music and iHeart Radio

At some point in your journey towards non-monogamy someone you know has likely said to you "I could never do that. I'm too jealous!"

Maybe you've even wondered this about yourself or have been afraid that you aren't cut out for non-monogamy given some of the strong feelings you've felt.

While jealousy is one of the main things that people are challenged with when opening a relationship or experiencing polyamory for the first time, and it can be intense and feel all consuming, there are ways of understanding your jealousy and finding of ways to work through these feelings so that you can shift to being neutral or even experiencing compersion! 💖 Pinky swear!

And... a little myth busting... the reality is that most non-monogamous people experience jealousy or insecurity under certain circumstances from time to time. The key is to learn how to be less impacted by it.

In this episode of the Let’s Talk Polyamory Podcast we dive into this topic and share with you the 6 things you can do starting now to feel more secure in your relationships!

Resources referenced in this episode:

Find out more about us and the services we offer as well as access some other great resources on our website at: ⁠https://www.taraandandre.com/⁠

New Relationship Energy, or NRE, sometimes gets a bad rap in polyamory as while one person may be experiencing the highs of being with someone new, others that they are in relationships may feel left behind, or jealous or find it threatening to the security of that connection... hence the "awful"

But it’s not all about putting out forest fires. 

There’s nothing wrong with new relationship energy in itself, and in fact it can be an "awesome" experience for all involved. 

One of the amazing things about polyamory is that it allows people to experience all the magic of new love without destroying long-term, stable relationships in the process - and may even breathe new energy and pleasure into them!

There are always considerations or things to navigate whether you’re the person experiencing the NRE with someone new, the new person or the people they are in relationships with.

We talk about all of these things and more in this podcast episode!

We want to encourage and support spreading the word of polyamory and normalize it as a valid relational identity - one which can be secure and long-lasting!

To help you and others to learn more, we’ve decided to reduce our profit on our 7-Module Poly Newbies Digital Course so that more people can access this valuable resource. You can find this special offer at https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer

You can book a Pay What You Can Coaching Session with Tara at ⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/pwyccoachingsession⁠ 

Want to know more about us, find out about our other coaching and therapy services or book us for your event or podcast? 👉 ⁠https://taraandandre.com/⁠

In this episode of the Let's Talk Polyamory Podcast we are open up our polyamory dictionary and cover a ton of common definitions and terms you may come across as you navigate consensual non-monogamy:

We cover common myths you might hear (like that you MUST get to know and like your metamours) and how terms and labels such as these are useful to help identify yourself and why you still need to ask someone what their definitions are so you are on the same page in understanding.

And of course it wouldn't be our podcast if we didn't share some of our personal stories including how our relationship fits into multiple "styles" and how being with others who are different than each other doesn’t take away from our relationship, but instead is one of the things that enhances our relationship and why polyamory is such a great fit for us!

Resources referenced in this episode:

Are there things that you feel you 😩 “suck” at in your open or polyamorous relationships? 

Perhaps it seems that others are having an easy time and doing it “right” and that you’re the only ones with an all-you-can-ride ticket on struggle bus!

Here’s the TRUTH though... Nobody does it perfectly. 

Everyone sucks at non-monogamy at some point. 

This can happen at the beginning or at any stop along the way in your journey. We know from our own experiences and from the couples and individuals we've worked with.

Just when you think you’ve figured it out, something can come along that surprises and challenges you.

That doesn’t mean it isn’t right for you. Maybe you, like André admits on this podcast, sucked at monogamy which is why polyamory is a better fit and is worth figuring out.

In this episode we talk about the 5 things you can do when opening an existing relationship or exploring polyamory so you suck less!

If you want to start in opening a relationship and would like support so you don't suck, for a limited time you can benefit from a focussed intensive coaching experience with us  that will allow you to MINIMIZE your growing pains & MAXIMIZE your pleasure, connection and security. Find out more at 🏁https://go.taraandandre.com/openrelationshipstartup

NOW AVAILABLE: Our Poly & Proud & PRIDE gear! https://my-store-f79154.creator-spring.com/

Want to know more about us, the services and programs we offer or book us for your event or podcast? Visit us at:

👉  https://taraandandre.com/

In this episode we pick up where we left off in part 1 and take a deeper dive into WHY making a transition to a different relating style of consensual / ethical non-monogamy can be such an issue for couples.

These new and unexpected feelings and struggles often come as a surprise as prior to making the change they might have felt secure in what they were doing.

If you missed part 1, we shared the 5 essential steps to feel good in making a change in your relationship:

✅ Understanding what makes you want to make the change

✅ Finding clarity around what you want and developing your personal relationship vision

✅ Communication (no surprise this is on the list right?)

✅ Making a plan to implement that vision including agreements you might want to make

✅ Regular reviews and making adjustments as necessary.

The program we refer to in this podcast is our 16 week Open Relationship and Polyamory Mastery program which includes 8 modules of training plus direct coaching with us! You can find out more about this program at https://go.taraandandre.com/polyamorymastery

You can learn more about us, access free resources and find out about our Poly Newbies Digital Course and other coaching and therapy services on our website at https://www.taraandandre.com/.

Get Support:

If navigating this transition is causing some unfamiliar big feels that you're having trouble with, or if you need support on another issue, we invite you to book a complimentary Relationship Rescue Call. On this call we will help you unpack what might be the cause of these feelings and give you an action plan of next steps you can take on your own and/or with our support to get you back to that place of fun and pleasure you've always enjoyed in your relationship. You can book that call at https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue 

Change is exhilarating and exciting, but as you may have experienced, it can also be challenging, especially in relationships!

Many of our listeners have shared with us that they are in the midst of making a transition in their relationships, opening up to the idea of polyamory and dating people individually. 

These transitions often involve difficult discussions and feelings of insecurity and instability that weren't there before.

Firstly, this is NORMAL! As new people enter the picture in closer and more emotionally intimate ways, it can trigger some unexpected emotions.

And secondly, as always, we’ve got you!

In this episode,⚡️How to Securely Transition Into Different Ways of Doing Non-Monogamy you'll learn five key strategies to create a solid foundation for this transition, helping you feel less scared and much more secure to move forward.

If you’d like to make a secure transition in your relationship and address issues that have come up as a result of opening your relationship, book a confidential Relationship Rescue Call with Tara and get your next steps at https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue.

Find out more about us, the services we offer, book us for a talk, and access other great resources at ⁠https://www.taraandandre.com/⁠ 

The club we spoke at and refer to in this episode is Oasis Aqualounge in Toronto, Ontario, Canada: https://oasisaqualounge.com/

We invite you to subscribe and share a review on any of our podcasting platforms!

Have you ever found yourself choosing between staying together or splitting up for good? 

If you're considering changes in your relationship, tune in as we delve into the intriguing question: Is It Time To De-Escalate My Relationship?

Because there's other options out there, and we're diving deep into them in this special podcast episode.

We kick things off with a heartfelt, unscripted conversation about our own journey in reshaping our polyamorous relationship. Trust us, it's been quite the adventure! 🎢

Next up, get ready for a captivating discussion on de-escalating a relationship that we covered before we made this decison where we cover:

• What is de-escalation and how does it differ from breaking up?
• Relationship Anarchy and how it might be an option for de-escalation.
• How to recognize the signs that it may be time for a change.
• What can de-escalation look like in a non-monogamous relationship.
• What you can do if you want a change in your relationship but don't want to de-escalate or break up.

And finally we go over the steps you can take to de-escalate or modify your relationship in a consensual and loving way including how to approach your partners proactively.

If your are considering if it’s time to call it quits, de-escalate your relationship or if you want to dig in and make changes to improve your relationship we’d love to help. Book a confidential call to talk about it with Tara at  https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue.

Find out more about us and the services we offer as well as access some other great resources at: ⁠https://www.taraandandre.com/⁠

It's a question we often get asked... Can opening my relationship (or monogamous LTR) save my marriage?

Conventional wisdom, and perhaps even our own advice in the past, would warn against opening up a relationship as a fix or solution.

BUT... the more accurate answer is YES, it could help in some cases.

In this episode we explore the possibility of opening your relationship and the many benefits you can gain such as deeper connection, trust, variety, sexual and emotional stimulation and personal growth to name a few.

All while enjoying the rewards, security and benefits of being married or in a LTR that you desire.

We also share the very unique circumstances and conditions that need to either be in place before you open or that you need to build your “qualifications” in such as fantastic communication, understanding your jealousy, secure attachment and more.

If you’d like to open a relationship and are unsure if it will work for you, or if you’ve already opened and feel that perhaps you weren’t quite ready for it, we can help via individual and couples coaching or one of our programs! Book a confidential call to talk with Tara at  https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue to find out what would be best for you!

You can also find out more about us and the services we offer as well as access some other great resources on our website at ⁠https://www.taraandandre.com/⁠.