Life Uncut

Have you ever been in a relationship where you asked “am I settling?”
What about am I losing myself, what if I’m not good enough and is this type of relationship normal? Sometimes, particularly if you might be a bit of an anxious person already, it can be really hard to tell the difference between relationship anxiety and genuine red flags or signs that you might actually not be compatible.

Today we have anxiety therapist, host of The Anxiety Reset Podcast and author Georgie Collinson joining us to speak about the work she’s done for her new book ‘Master your relationship anxiety.”
Georgie’s previous book, The Anxiety Reset Method, reached international success when it was picked for Oprah’s Book Club in 2023 and was featured on Oprah Daily. 

We’re going to be speaking about why exactly are you feeling anxious in love, what anxiety is trying to tell you, the four types of relationship anxiety and how it may prevent us from being our best selves in relationships.  

We speak about: 

• How relationship anxiety differs from generalised anxiety
• The difference between actual red flags and anxious tendencies
• Why we keep having the same relationship patterns and how to break them
• The 3 stages of love: base love, chaotic love and expansive love
• How to stop being attracted to people who are bad for you
• What ‘learned helplessness’ is
• A healthy relationship is not boring, settling or dull
  
  

You can find more from Georgie like her new book ‘master your relationship anxiety’ and her Instagram

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Hey Lifers!

It's Laura's birthday!!! She had a beautiful message from the most special two girls (definitely her kids and not Britt and Keeshia)! There are revelations about our years on this Earth and we want to wish our happiest birthday the most wonderful human we know!

Laura's home has had a visit from the dummy fairy and we've all entered a new chapter! 
Britt has found herself in some hot water with the law which has led to a lot of surrendering and the need for a screw driver. Who is truly at 'fault' is still up for debate!

Hilaria Baldwin and Alec Baldwin had an awkward exchange on the red carpet. They've gone on to joke about this being 'manturrupting' 'correctile dysfunction'. 

How do you feel about celebrities owning businesses and adding to their already existing wealth? Tina Fey recently sparked debate by criticising the trend of ultra-wealthy people launching their own businesses, particularly in industries where they lack expertise in industries like skincare, fashion, wellness, or alcohol.
We share our thoughts and where we think the line is!

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Welcome back to ask uncut where we unpack your deep and burning questions!
Britt is apparently giving Stiffler’s mum vibes and Laura feels very validated about everyone’s hatred for exhaust/extraction fans!

Vibes for the week:
Laura - Lucky Boy Podcast
Britt - Adolescence on Netflix 
Keeshia - Inherited Podcast with Michelle Andrews

Then we jump into your questions!
WHEN TO TELL DATES THAT I CAN’T HAVE A BABY
I’m venturing back into dating as a single girl in her early 30s after a very toxic relationship ending a few months ago. I also found out last year that I’m unable to have my own children due to some bad health issues. This was devastating as I always saw myself being a mum one day. My question is, at what stage do I disclose this to potential partners? A couple of dates in? It feels really heavy and most people I meet seem to want kids so I’m mindful of wasting their time but I’m unsure how to approach this.

COUPLE FRIENDS PRETENDING CHEATING DIDN’T HAPPEN
My boyfriend’s best friend has a great partner and three kids who have become a big part of our life. We always saw them as the perfect family—until two months ago, when we found out he’d been cheating for a year and got a girl pregnant. His partner was the one who told us and asked us not to say anything (she’s a very proud person and was obviously a mess) I supported her of course trying to say all the right things, but nearly three months later, she’s still with him, seemingly in denial, while he acts like nothing happened. My boyfriend and I are struggling with all the lies as he used their friendship to cover his tracks multiple times. Do I keep being friends with them and pretend this didn’t cause so much hurt? I’m worried we will lose these kids because we have hardly seen them since and we really just don’t know what to do! Advice please!

CAN WE SUCCESSFULLY HAVE A HALL PASS?
My partner of 7 years has asked what I would think of having a ‘hall pass’ for one night with a random. We are 25 and he says he would like to experience another sexual partner since we’ve been together since we were 18. I am not opposed to the idea and have thought about it before. He has said it would be a stranger and only once and we would never tell each other when/where/who once we’d done it. I am leaning towards a yes but have an underlying fear that our relationship wouldn’t be the same afterwards. He is 100% my penguin and I believe we will last a lifetime for sure. I guess my question for you is, is this a reasonable request and what boundaries would you put around it?

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

What's on the show:

• MAFS apparently has a VERY juicy twist coming
• What important thing did your kid lose?
• A couple has been slammed for faking a proposal for free drinks
• Laura came across an Instagram post that perfectly captured her feelings as a mum
• A comedy club has banned patrons with Botox
•  The 'secret' eye rule that will apparently make you 10x more attractive 
• Millie Bobby Brown has 62 PETS (but Britt & Laura have had more??)
• We died at Jacqui getting the ick from seeing Ryan's house for the first time on MAFS
• What is your hypothetical revenge plan?

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Is confidence the key to effective communication? How are you meant to respond when someone says something incredibly rude? How can we use silence to out a liar?

Jefferson Fisher is a trial lawyer who you might know as the guy who records videos from his car all about how to communicate during life’s everyday awkward situations and arguments! Jefferson amassed 5.8 million followers and has a new book out titled “the next conversation” and it’s his tried-and-true strategies to deal with difficult people and tough situations.

Our favourite thing about Jefferson is that he provides word for word advice on how to navigate a lot of conflict and having the tool of ‘if someone says this to you, respond with this’ is incredibly helpful!

In today’s conversation, we unpack:

• Where Jefferson learnt the art of storytelling
• How storytelling can determine the outcome of a court case
• Why you should never try to win an argument
• How you can park your ego and emotion during an argument so that you can get your point across in a way that will be listened to
• Jefferson’s tips to make a liar out themselves (remember he’s a trial attorney) 
• How to spot a liar!
• What to say when someone says something rude to you
• Fluffy emails, filler words and over apologising are harming how we are perceived
• How to combat defensiveness

You can find more from Jefferson on his instagram 
At his website 
And grab his new book “The Next Conversation” 

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Hey Lifers!

We’re all rev heads now. Officially on the F1 bandwagon; real housewives or documentary, you can decide. We have a quick catch up on our weekend! RIP Keeshia’s toe and Britt’s dignity after a trip to chemist warehouse and a case of mistaken identity. 
Laura has a small health update of something she’s been putting up with since last September. We desperately need better options when it comes to women’s health care and this is a little reminder to advocate for your own health. 

Is there a double standard when it comes to full frontals on our screens?

Jason Isaacs is sick of being asked whether or not he wore a prosthetic penis in The White Lotus where his character, Timothy Ratliff, had his penis hanging out of his bathrobe while in front of his children. 

He said “It’s interesting that there’s a double standard for men. But when women are naked, Margaret Qualley, in ‘The Substance,’ nobody would dream of talking to her about her genitalia or her nipples. So, it's odd that there’s a double standard.”

We speak about:

• Whether he has a point
• How women’s nudity has been used on screens
• How the media has approached female on screen nudity
• The difference between romantic/seductive full frontals and shock/comedic nude scenes
• Our thoughts about prosthetics being used on screen

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Welcome back to Ask Uncut where we discuss your deepest and dizzy dilemmas.
We’re all feeling uncomfortable about Timothée Chalamet and Kylie Jenner’s tennis affection and we’re just hoping Timmy’s tummy is feeling better.

Vibes for the week:
Britt - Running Point on Netflix
Keeshia - Salted Matcha Powder from T2 
Laura - Similar Web - Competitive Landscape Analysis 

I WANT TO DO A NUDIE SWIM - BF AGAINST IT
I live in Hobart and every year there is a big nudist swim to celebrate the winter solstice. You have to register, there's no photography allowed, you all wear robes and swim caps and drop them when you run into the water. Of course there's lots of nudity but it's absolutely freezing so not everyone is hanging out stark naked. I told my partner I want to participate in the swim this year and it did not go down well. He believes that it's a perverse event, full of voyeurs and doesn't understand why it has to be nude. I believe it's a celebration of the body in the basest form, and an act of rebirth in cold water. He doesn't understand why I would "put myself in a situation with pervs, and to parade myself like meat in front of lions". I find this language incredibly shaming, and it furthers the sexualisation of female bodies in a negative way. Am I the asshole for going ahead and doing it, regardless of his attitude.

OVERTHINKING IG ‘FOR YOU’ PAGE FOR BF?
My partner and I have been together 5 years, engaged, very much in love and happy in our relationship. We have an open phone policy meaning having no issues with being on each other's phone for whatever reason. On road trips, which have been frequent lately, my service cuts out regularly and I love a doom scroll through reels on Insta to pass the time. He’s happy for me to do this on his phone while mine is out of service. Everytime I open his insta, his ‘for you page’ is flooded with women who hold only fans accounts, posting pics of their enormous, wonderful tits/body. I say good for them in that regard and I have no shame on women who choose to do this.
I have joked/bantered to him in the past about this and he has mentioned it is because Instagram has formed his algorithm based on the ‘average 30 year old male’. When I look on my ‘for you page’, my algorithm is formed by stupid reels, memes and animals that I engage in daily. Does Instagram form an algorithm based on age and gender or for what you show interest/consume in most frequently? I have no issue with him watching porn, however, for some reason, the idea that my partner may be frequently scrolling through or searching for posts related to only fans or women with body types that are polar opposites to my own leaves an unsettling feeling in my stomach and perhaps shatters my ego slightly.

IS A SURNAME IMPORTANT?
I’ve been my partner for six years and we have two beautiful kids. He’s the last one in his family to get married, and I always said to him that I would like to at least have the same surname as my children before my eldest goes to school. Our eldest child is enrolled to start school next year , and I don’t see us getting married this year. It makes me sad that we don’t all have the same surname because that’s always been something I wanted coming from a divorced parent family. Is it too much to put an ultimatum on him? Am I overthinking this? Does a surname really matter? I know how many women want to keep their maiden name however I don’t have a solid relationship with my dad so I’ve never really wanted his surname anyway. A surname to me solidifies the family unit. I also don’t really want a big wedding. I would be very happy to just sign a piece of paper. Thoughts?

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

What's on the show:

• Hailey Bieber was caught allegedly liking a shady post about Selena Gomez
• When did you accidentally like or follow?
• Laura's friend had a VERY unfortunate word mix up
• An investigation into why people love to go back to their exes (*cough* Ben Affleck)
• Lola has (almost) learned her ABCs and it is VERY cute
• When did you celebrate prematurely?
• Britt and Laura received a gift that feels a little.......too old for them
• There's a new study that says that you shouldn't wear pyjamas to bed

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Have you ever wondered “If I wanted to change my personality, would I be able to?” Or have you ever wondered if it was possible for someone else to truly change their personality?
This was a question that today’s guest wondered about herself and so she went on a journey to find out whether it was really possible to change your entire personality!

Joining the podcast today is Olga Khazan. Olga is a writer for The Atlantic, and the author of the new book Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change. Olga spent a year experimenting with her own personality to see if she could become more extroverted, a lot less neurotic, and a little more agreeable. 

We speak about:

• Exactly why you might like to change your personality
• How much of our personality is ‘hard wired’
• The ‘big 5’ personality traits: extroversion, neuroticism, agreeableness, conscientiousness, openness.
• How different aspects of our personality affects our relationships
• Making friends when you’re not particularly extroverted
• Can you change someone else’s personality?
• Do certain life stages encourage a personality change?
• What things can you do to change your personality?

You can get Olga's new book Me, But Better

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Hey Lifers!
Straight off the b̶a̶c̶k̶ bat, how do you feel about the sound of exhaust fans?
Are they the bane of your existence or are you normal? 

We have a devastating update about Britt's hens entertainment and checks notes it is not appropriate to ask if the entertainment should come to our workplace. Noted.
Ben has had his bucks party and it was a little less of a rager than what Britt anticipated. 
We ended up having a bit of a deeper conversation about what the 'rules' of hens/bucks parties are, the length of the 'leash' and being in a relationship with genuine trust and how that feels really different to previous relationships.

Why are people hate-watching Meghan Markle’s Netflix Show Love, Meghan?

Why do we hate watch or hate follow anyone?
We unpack the how these factors play into why we might consume content from people that we really don't like:

• Confirmation bias. If you already think someone is awful, watching their content (and finding more reasons to dislike them) reinforces that belief.
• The need for comparison. Hate-watching gives us a way to feel superior.
• Schadenfreude—the joy of watching a train wreck
• Participation in a bigger conversation
• Algorithms LOVE outrage!

We'd love to know if you hate follow or hate watch anyone/anything? Are they a celebrity/public figure or someone you know in your own life?

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