Life Uncut

OUR BRITTY IS ENGAGED!!!!! 

Today's recording included a HUGE surprise for Laura and Keeshia and we're all crying so you're welcome to too.

First up, Laura wants to help her friend know how to avoid catching the feels for her 'friends with benefits' pal.

Vibes for the week:

Britt - Netflix "Geek Girl"
Keeshia - Unsubscribing from The Kardashians. Vibing The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck podcast The Harsh Truth About Self Discipline ft Rich Roll
Laura - Tony's Chocolonely Caramel Sea Salt Milk Chocolate Block

Then we get into your questions and one little surprise:

I WANT TO KEEP THEIR DOG

My friends have a 2.5yr old toddler and a newborn. To help them out, I agreed to look after their puppy for 18 months as they raise their kids as the puppy can be a bit much. I’m currently two months in and realising I did not think this through. The thought of giving him back in a year is really upsetting. The timing of me taking on their dog has come after A) the death of our family dog, and B) I am healing from a toxic relationship so I really needed a little buddy to latch onto and that has been my friend's dog. I also feel like I’m a better home for him as he has my full attention and has made so many friends at my local beach/dog park. The husband is keen on me having him, but the wife is on a very different page and wants the dog back in a year. I genuinely will be heartbroken if I have to give this dog back. How should I approach this with them to convince them that I should keep their dog?

PORN SHOWER

My husband was in the shower and I needed a lil wee so I went in to do that. As I was on the loo I was perving on him in the shower… he looked good, a potential semi, so I decided to strip off and jump in. We had sex in the shower. When we finished I turned to get out and something dropped on the floor. It was his phone. It had been propped up in the shower. So essentially when I had come in to use the bathroom he was watching porn on his phone in the shower and about to have a wank. He was interrupted. I felt weird, like a bit used, as in he was semi hard from watching someone else and then I finished the job. Should I feel weird about this?

And then Britt's own question!

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In the past few weeks, the Netflix show ‘Baby Reindeer’ has been the number 1 TV show in the world. The bio of the show reads “When a struggling comedian shows an act of kindness to a vulnerable woman, it sparks a suffocating obsession which threatens to wreck both their lives.”

This show provided quite a nuanced look at the insidious nature of stalking and a lot of the complex emotions that the victims can experience.

Joining the podcast today is Nicole Madigan. Nicole is a journalist and the author of “Obsession”. Nicole was stalked for over three years. It wreaked havoc on her life and trapped her in a constant state of fear. 

In this chat we speak about:

• Nicole’s story and how a stalker infiltrated her life
• The emotions experienced by victims of stalking 
• Whether Baby Reindeer on Netflix was an accurate representation of what stalking is like
• How stalking and harassment isn’t taken seriously in our worlds or by law enforcement
• How difficult it is to prove that someone is stalking you and where authorities come into it
• The 5 different stalking types
• What percentage of perpetrators are men/women and the gender break down of victims
• Misconceptions of stalking

You can find more from Nicole here

We mentioned a previous episode that we recorded with Dr Angela Jay here
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Hey Lifers!
Poor Laura has come down with either gastro or food poisoning today so (one of) the boss(es) is away and the mice will play!
Producer Keeshia is filling in today.
Britt went on a magical holiday to Hamilton Island and met Skippy but also potentially ruined someone's wedding photos.
Have you accidentally ruined someone's special day? Have you had a failed proposal? 

We take a deep dive today on how to know whether you should break up with your partner. A bunch of experts put together a list of signs and we also added a few questions of our own like:
-Am I staying in this relationship out of fear of being alone?
-Have you ever stayed in a relationship longer than you should have? What kept you there?
-How do you distinguish between a rough patch and a fundamental incompatibility in a relationship?
-Do you think happiness is a good indicator of the relationship?

We spoke about these episodes in this chat:

Fix the Sex, Fix the Relationship - Uncut with Ester Perel
How to manage a break up - Uncut with Jillian Turecki

The original list was published here in women's health magazine

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

ON THE SHOW

• • Meghan Trainor joins us on the show
  • Cheating TikTok trend
  • Mitch asks Britt for some eggs
  • The name Alexa is out

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Lifers and welcome back to Ask Uncut where we answer all of your deep and dark questions and weigh in on all of the dilemmas!

How incredibly awkward can facebook marketplace be? Laura's had the person who is way too keen for a chat and Britt has ended up... not paying for some boogie boards!
If you received a message saying "Available when? I work m-f and get home around 9ish" what would you think it meant? There's a man in Florida who, ahhhh misunderstood those of us working weekdays...

Vibes for the week:
Britt Podcast Trump Trials
Keeshia "Dancing for the Devil The 7M TikTok Cult " on Netflix
Laura Hippo Closet Dehumidifier

Then we jump into your questions:

• I'VE BEEN SLEEPING WITH MY BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER
  I have been friends with my bestie since primary school. We are in our early 20’s now. About 6 months ago I was staying at her house and I slept with her older brother. We had had a few drinks and it honestly just happened. I didn't say anything because I felt bad and thought it would never happen again. But, we have started sort of sleeping together… and now I have feelings! AHHHHH I am in so deep. What should I do? How do I know if it is worth seeing him seriously and risking the awkwardness with the whole family, and do I tell my friend regardless? I know she is going to be upset.
  
  
• IS IT OK TO GHOST FRIENDS YOU'VE OUTGROWN?
  
  I am in a group chat with a few girls I went to high school with 10 years ago. I am close-ish with one, used to be close with two, then the other I never connect with. Every now and again the chat pops up about making plans and I never am really interested in being involved. I feel like I have to respond and make up a reason for not joining. I am asking, is it ok to ghost the chat? It feels harsh, but I can’t say “sorry guys I’ve outgrown the group”. The hard bit is that one of the girls I want to preserve my friendship with, and of course don’t want to seem ‘mean’ to the others. How do I approach this?
  
  
  
  
• MY EX NAMED HIS DAUGHTER AFTER ME
  My ex-fiance and I were together for a few years in our early twenties. After a few years of no contact we have since remained friendly and kept in touch with family updates, happy birthday etc. A couple of years ago he messaged me out of the blue after a few years and shared that he had a daughter. His message was friendly but he didn't share the daughter’s name which seemed like an odd omission at the time. We had planned a family and named our future kids so I did wonder if he had used *our* name. He popped up again today and curiosity got the better of me so I did a Facebook deepdive and within 10 minutes found his daughter's name. He hadn't borrowed *our* name but to my shock his daughter shared my name. I don't know what to think. I did some more research and it seems I am not the first person to ask this question. Many girls seem to be named after their fathers' ex-girlfriends, crushes, and mistresses. Is this a whole thing?

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There’s a huge amount of stigma associated with anything to do with our periods and for a lot of people, they may have spent years being told that they are dramatic, moody and irrational around the time of their period. As it turns out, it may not have just been ‘that time of the month’. They may experience a condition called PMDD or Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. 

As for any invisible health condition, having a name for it can be really validating and give you a sense that you’re not crazy and you’re not alone. It also helps people around you understand what might be going on so this episode isn’t just for the girlies who experience extreme mood shifts like depression, irritability, anger and hopelessness around their period, it’s also for those of us who don’t so that we can be more supportive for a loved one who does.

Today we have Dr Isobelle Smith, an endocrinologist with over 10 years of experience in hormones, joining us to unpack the ins and outs of PMDD.
We chat:

• What PMDD is and how it differs from PMS
• The stigma of ‘erratic’ moods and emotional dysregulation
• The possible causes of PMDD
• PMDD being listed as a mental disorder
• Treatment and management for PMDD
• How PMDD changes over the course of your ‘reproductive’ years
• PMDD in perimenopause and menopause
•  Medical misogyny and advocating for your own health

You can find Dr Izzy Smith here

Izzy mentioned the International Association for Premenstrual Disorders here

And the resource that the Queensland Government put together here

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Hey Lifers!
First up today, we hear what 'Life Uncut' could have been. We also went on holidays to the same place but actively chose not to see each other! Britt got into competitive arguments & Matt surprised Laura with a guest on their family holiday. More highbrow chat; Laura shares a tiktoker who got a bullet vibrator stuck up their butt. Unfortunately it was on. 

Then we are joined by political expert and journalist Charles Croucher to get our heads around Donald Trump's criminal conviction, making him the first president in U.S. history to be convicted of a crime. Charles breaks down Trump's cover up of a 'hush money' payment to porn star Stormy Daniels in the lead up to his presidential election in 2016. We break down whether it's likely Trump will go to jail, whether he could run for president from prison and what other cases might be coming up in the future. 

We speak about what the actual crime was, and how Trump's team tried to use everything in their power to shame and silence a porn star, claiming that she wasn't a credible witness simply because of her job.

You can find more from Charles here.

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• It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

  ON THE SHOW

  • Mitch shares his sister's MS battle
  • Laura puts her foot in it
  • We put Britt's boyfriend to the test
  • Mitch got caught in a compromising position 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Lifers!

Welcome back to Ask Uncut where we answer all of your deep and dark dilemmas!

Britt is particularly chirpy today because her 5 month unintentional celibacy is over! Ben is in town! Laura doesn't have the time for p*rn but she does have the time for an instagram trend that involves you all breathing out all the way and screaming... This isn't our most intellectual episode!

Vibes for the week:
Britt - Apples Never Fall on Binge
Keeshia - "Hale" on Spotify Hale Breathwork.  
Laura - We the wild Neem Oil Spray

Then we get into your questions:

• PUTTING A FAKE AGE ON DATING APPS
  I matched with a guy on a dating app and we met up for lunch yesterday. I made a comment about how he and I were of a similar age and generation (me being 38 and him 40) to which he said, “Oh, no, I’m actually 45.” This is not the first, second or third time this has happened. I have had this happen innumerable times and there is always the excuse that, “the app wouldn’t let me change it.” To which my thought is, “well if you were honest in the first place, you wouldn’t need to change anything.”
  Questions:
  1. Do women put an incorrect age in the dating apps too? My experience is with dating men and I am curious about whether this is something everyone does or not.
  2. He was otherwise lovely so is it better to just brush it aside as being a mistake and go on another date? Or do I take this as a sign of being insincere and an amber flag and move on to another match?

• HIS EX KEEPS REACHING OUT TO MY PARTNER AND HIS FAMILY
  My partner of 2 years (he is wonderful, definitely my penguin, we own a house together, but currently doing long distance due to work) has let me know that his ex (they were together for 8 years and separated amicably) has been in contact with him (sending lots of one way messages asking to catch up which he hasn’t replied to) but she has also been in contact with his family and grandparents and has organised to meet up with them in the next few weeks 😬 and has also asked to see him and his mum. He told me straight away and has said that it’s up to me whether he goes to see her or not. I trust him completely so it’s not like I am concerned anything will happen between them, but the situation has made me feel really uneasy! I know that 8 years is a long time to be in a relationship, and that you can get pretty close with family, but to continue be in contact after 2+ years of being separated and continue to organise catch ups does make me feel unsure about the situation, and also where I stand with his family (we have always gotten along swimmingly). For context I live in a different state to him and his family. What should I do? I feel like I really can’t be the one to say that she shouldn’t be in contact with him/family anymore because I’ll be the “bad guy”, and am I just being insecure about the fact that the ex and my partner's family have a close relationship! 
  
  
• PARTNER DOESN'T WANT TO WATCH ME GIVE BIRTH
  The most recent podcast about pregnancy/ childbirth got my boyfriend and I talking about when we are in the situation. He just told me that he doesn’t know if he will be able to watch! Is that a normal reaction for blokes? I’m so offended he wouldn’t want to watch. I also think that when he is actually in the situation it’ll be different. Thoughts??

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Joining the podcast today is domestic violence advocate Bianca Unwin. Bianca has degrees in both criminology and psychological sciences and she is joining us today to speak about a loophole known as ‘emergency management days’ that over 7000 prisoners could be using to receive reductions in their prison sentences. Many of these convicted offenders are violent and high risk offenders.

Bianca’s sister Katie was a 29 year old mother of two when her partner Shane Robertson beat her to death while the couple’s child slept in a room next door. Shane was convicted but received a below average sentence of 19 years without parole. However, due to legislation enacted by the Victorian government allowing sentence reductions for prisoners under ‘emergency management days,’ a provision especially impactful during COVID-19, his sentence may be substantially reduced.

Bianca joins the podcast today to speak about the contrast between what we all seem to be screaming from the rooftops in our fight to protect women, and the government’s leniency on reducing the sentence of violent criminals. We also speak about the inadequate rehabilitation of violent perpetrators and how we all need to be showing the government that these reductions in sentences are not what the community wants.

Please take the time to click on this link and sign Bianca’s petition

PLEASE SIGN THE CHANGE.ORG PETITION

You can listen to Bianca's previous episode here!

Some further resources are available below:

Crimes Amendment (Remissions of Sentences) Bill 2021

Released Prisoners Returning to Prison

CORRECTIONS ACT 1986 - SECT 58E Emergency management days

Victorian prisoners get unfair sentence reductions as a result of COVID-19 restrictions, Opposition says

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