Lucille Shackleton is a sexologist and relationship therapist who has just released her debut book titled “All In”.

When Lucille was working with couples as a therapist, most of the training that she had done said ‘if the friendship is good the sex will be good’ but this didn’t seem to be the case in practice. So Lucille went and did a masters of sexology to figure out what some of the missing pieces to the ‘good sex’ puzzle were. One particular puzzle piece that we wanted to unpack with Lucille was how much conflict affected libido and desire. 

We unpack:

• The love lust split 
• Why referring to your partner as ‘mummy’ or ‘daddy’ (not in that way) can make you both stop desiring each other
• The question of ‘do you not want sex?’ or ‘are you not having sex that you actually want?’
• Figuring out your sex values
• Relationship satisfaction goes up when people learn that their ‘problems’ are normal, even if they aren’t having more sex
• The ‘narratives’ that we create about our partners & ‘core negative’ images
• Does intention matter when it comes to conflict?
• How much our ego comes into play during conflict
• Sex life after giving birth
• When one partner has a dry spell or ‘shuts up shop’ and doesn’t want sex anymore

You can find more from Lucille at her Instagram
Grab her new book

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Hey Lifers!
Captain Keeshia is filling in for Britt today as she is busy carving up the dance floor at Dancing With The Stars! Laura thought they were going to have a comparable experiences but now she feels gaslit by Britt.
If you haven't yet had the chance to listen, you can find our new mini series podcast Cloud here!

If you get given a scratchie by someone as a present, is there an expectation if you win that you will split the winnings with the person who has given you the scratchie?
Laura shares a story about a family feud that lasted decades.

Confessionals are back and... yeah wow. You can continue to send them in to us at life uncut podcast on instagram. 
How would you feel if you found out that the person you were newly dating had hooked up with an acquaintance of yours within the week that you met? Would you not care at all or would it make you question whether they were 'ready' for a proper commitment? It's a situation that's playing out on Love Is Blind and we asked whether it's different because it's reality TV or if we would react in the same way.

Are you guilty of 'Someday Syndrome'?
Are you deferring life goals or things that you want in your life to 'someday' down the track?
We unpack the excuse trap, the right time and the fear of failure.
Laura questions whether deferring goals is always a bad thing or whether it's more about prioritisation and inherent sacrifice. Keeshia questions whether it's the 'goal' or the feeling that the goal brings us that we actually want.

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Welcome back to Ask Uncut where we unpack all of your deep dark and burning questions. Laura is a bit f*cking rooted today apparently! There are no sick days here at life uncut! 
First very important question: which colour snakes (lollies) do you like the least? Is it orange? It's probably orange right?? 
Second very important question: what flavour is the orange lolly? 
The answer to this still hurts my brain.

Keeshia has been reunited with Britt's dad Tony and there's a lifer who now gets where our obsession with him comes from!

Vibes for the week:

Keeshia Cloud podcast
Britt It's All Over. The Kiss That Changed Spanish Football on Netflix
Laura White Lotus Season 3

Then we jump into your questions:

DO I LET IT GO TO PROTECT MY DAD?
Growing up, I always looked and felt really different from the rest of my family. It was always a running joke that I was the “adopted” child because I don’t resemble anyone. When I was 14 and really into science, I learned that my blood type wasn’t a possible combination of my parents. I brought it up with my mum, but she completely shut me down and made me feel silly for even questioning it. Fast forward to late last year, and my sister and I did a heritage DNA test for fun. When the results came back, we found out we’re only half-sisters—meaning we have different dads. I have no idea what to do with this information. I’ve always had suspicions that my mum might have had an affair over the years (I’ve even seen some texts on her phone to another man). The thing is, my dad is the sweetest, most pure-hearted man. He’s retired now and living his best life, and I know that something like this could absolutely shatter him. I don’t know if it’s my place to bring it up or if he would be happier living in ignorant bliss. I don’t care about finding out who my “real” biological father is—I just care about what’s best for my dad. Is it my duty to dig deeper and confront my mum? Or do I let this go to protect him? I’m completely torn.

CONCERT ETIQUETTE
Can you stand up at a concert when in a reserved seating area? If you want to stand to pop along, should you book a GA standing?

DO I REKINDLE THINGS AFTER SHE HAS THE BABY?
I’ve just started talking to a new man for the first time after being cheated on in my last relationship. We went on two dates, and I really liked him. We slept together, he stayed the night, it was great! This man ticked all of my boxes. All of a sudden, after staying the night, he stopped replying! I thought he’d ghosted me and things were done. Then three days later, he came back and explained that he and his ex had hooked up in October last year and SHE IS PREGNANT! She’s now just started her second trimester. He said he wants to prioritise the baby and her, and he and his ex agreed on no dating/communication through the pregnancy, which is completely reasonable. He said he wants to keep talking to me after the birth because he really enjoyed spending time with me and wants to see where things go. My question is, do I rekindle things in 5 months, or is it just too messy?

CAREER OR MOTHERHOOD?
My partner and I are trying to work out when we should have kids. I’m 30 and he is 39. His career is well and truly set up and he is happy where he is. I however am not! When I was younger I always wanted to be a mum, but as I get older my priorities have shifted to being career focused. I am a pilot and I want to progress in my career a little more before we have kids. I am not happy where I currently work (very toxic workplace) and want a bit more of a stable job, especially one to go back to after having babies. I’m not sure this new job will come in the next year or so, so my husband and I have been talking about prioritising babies first, due to my husband approaching 40. As much as I want to be a mum, it breaks my heart that I may not get my dream career that I’ve worked years for and spent $200 K to train for (does this mean I shouldn’t be a mum?😢). I don’t want to put off having kids for too long, but I also feel If I take a break now from my career that I’d be setting myself back years compared to my male colleagues. I feel so stuck and lost and I keep getting told that I’ll know when the time is right but will I? Is 40 getting too old to be a first time dad? Also - the income I earn would not be enough to support a family, so my partner (also a pilot) would have to be the one to continue working and I’ll be the one to take time off

 

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we live across the country at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

What's on the show:

• Have Hen's Parties gotten out of control?
• Reggie Bird joins the show to chat about I'm A Celeb
• Britt & Laura unpack the leaked MAFS contract
• Laura accidentally caused a building-wide emergency
• Ask Uncut: Alex has feelings for her boss, should she act on them?
• What did you learn about your partner AFTER you moved in together?
• Tori Spelling is in trouble for paying her kid to massage her

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Today’s guest is one of the most funny, relatable and completely open people we’ve been lucky enough to chat with. Tanya Hennessy is a comedian, radio announcer, TV presenter, multi-bestselling author and content creator. 

We kick this chat off by speaking about something Tanya recently wrote about called the ‘catch up trap’. It’s where we all seem to be just ‘catching up’ with our friends and recapping our lives rather than actually creating new memories together. It can be reflective of the stage of life that we’re in, but it can also make you question whether it’s a good use of our time to just be relaying what we’ve been up to since the last time we spoke. When was the last time you created ‘new’ memories with your friend? Tanya is now all about creating these new memories and seeking deep joy from her friendships. 

Tanya has been very open with her long ‘journey’ with challenging fertility. The main difference is that Tanya speaks about it in real time, not hindsight. Tanya is currently going through the process of her 7th round of IVF and has tried quite literally everything that you could imagine.

Something we are often asked during Ask Uncut is how to speak about kids, pregnancy or trying to conceive with a friend that you know has been struggling with their own fertility. Unfortunately there is no one size fits all answer of how to do it right. But, we ask Tanya how she navigates her friendships with her loved ones that have kids, how she responds to social media announcements and things like baby showers etc.
Tanya also speaks about the things that we need to address on a systemic level like pregnancy loss care and removing the deafening silence of fertility struggle stigma.

You can find more from Tanya on her instagram and tiktok 

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Hey Lifers!
Over the past 4 months we have been working on this very special project; a brand new 10 part mini series called Cloud, hosted by Life Uncut’s Executive Producer Keeshia Pettit. 

Cloud is a podcast series created to discuss ADHD and late age diagnosis; a conversation that was sparked after Keeshia’s own diagnosis. The name Cloud is inspired by the experiences of many late-diagnosed women who describe finally feeling like a “cloud was lifted” after learning more about the different ways that their brains work and how they ‘fit’ into society.

With all of the content about ADHD on social media explaining what the condition is, I’ve been on quite a journey figuring out the difference between what I thought were personality flaws and what is actually symptomatic of this condition. I realised that there was a bit of a gap of what to do next. What was I meant to do with all of this information? Cloud was created to fill that gap. It explores the intersection of ADHD with identity, relationships, career, and well-being so that we can live more fulfilling and more present lives.

Each episode will offer insight into a different aspect of ADHD from guests like Mark Manson, the author of ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, psychiatrist Dr Kieran Kennedy, focus and attention expert Johann Hari and relationship experts Sabrina Zohar and Logan Ury.

Today’s conversation is about emotional dysregulation, shame, masking, impulsivity, self criticism and success. 

• We chat:
• Why I was so hesitant to speak publicly about ADHD
• The ‘oversaturation’ of ADHD content on social media 
• How ADHD presents differently in girls and women
• Wondering if I'd have known earlier, would life have been easier?
• How I've changed since diagnosis
• How Britt & Laura feel I've changed
• Rejection sensitive dysphoria, emotional dysregulation, shame, impulsivity and time blindness.
• Am I a chameleon or am I masking?

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Hey Lifers!
Today's episode is with our favourite cast away. Matt is back from the jungle and he's dishing the tea on the behind the scenes of what happened in camp. 
To summarise, it's not been sunshine and rainbows and special reunion times between our mum and dad... Britt is actually the therapist of today's episode.
We speak about:

• The real reason Matt didn't quit
• Matt's bone to pick with Britt
• Who Matt expected to win
• The part that Laura hated of Matt on screen
• Laura's travel with the kids and filming the finale
• How Lola has responded to Matt being away
• What Matt and Laura have been bickering about since 
• Whether Matt *self pleasured in the jungle (this one will shock you)

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Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer all of your deep, dark and burning questions!
We had to record this episode a few days early because we didn’t know if Laura would be on a plane to South Africa to be reunited with Matt after I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!
By this time, you’ll well and truly know the outcome of whether he made it to the final and whether Laura survived the 30 hours of flying with two kids!

Vibes for the week:
Britt - Netflix Apple Cider Vinegar 
Keeshia - Mid Amanda Keller and Anita McGregor Know How Lucky They Are 
Laura - Case-Mate Stick It!

Then we jump into your questions!
CAN I DATE MY LATE HUSBAND’S FRIEND?
My husband passed aways in an accident nearly 3 years ago, he was 29 and we had been together since we were 16. After years of heartache (which will live with me forever) I’m finally feeling open to the idea of dating again. I’ve recently reconnected with an old friend who was a friend of my husbands too. He has the most grounded, secure, kind energy and I have found myself having feelings for him. I have no idea where he stands on this situation and whether or not he just sees me as a friend. I want to ask him/ tell him how I’m feeling but I don’t want to get it wrong and potentially uplift our friendship. Help

THEY NAMED US GODPARENTS WITHOUT ASKING US FIRST
A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I attended my cousin's baby's dedication at church. All was going well until they announced in front of all our friends and family that my husband and I were the Godparents to their child....We were shocked. There was no previous conversation surrounding this topic, and my husband and I agreed that if they asked us, we would politely decline as it's a serious role to take on as we already have 3 kids of our own (and wanted to try for another). We stood there awkwardly smiling and didn't know how to react. We were never "asked" to be their child's Godparents and were announced with the title in front of everyone with no prior discussion. Is it rude of me to have a conversation with them and explain that we thought it was unfair of them to announce that in front of our family when we were never even asked if we would take on the role, or should I say nothing and pretend like we aren't bothered by it?

SHOULD I HAVE MY PARTNERS PHONE PASSCODE?
I have a lot of trust issues… I’ve had a rough time with relationships and trust. I always go through my husband's phone (once a day I would say) not necessarily finding anything just “making sure”. About a month ago I asked him to change his password so I couldn’t go through his phone anymore. What do you ladies think about this; not having your partner's phone password? Do you think it will help my trust as I have to keep reminding myself he is a good guy and my past is still haunting me or do you think it’s unhealthy? I did counselling for a long time after my previous relationships but now it’s too expensive with two children.

COULD MY PARTNER BE GETTING A FREE RIDE?
I have been with my partner for 5 years and we are expecting our first child. I already owned a house before meeting him and have since sold it so we can buy something for our growing family. The issue is, I am the only one contributing to the deposit and it is a large sum of money from the sale. He is older and has no assets of his own. How do I navigate this so I don’t resent him for ‘getting a free ride’ to a house which I’ve worked so hard to have for myself? I can’t help but resent him for not getting his shit together earlier. For context, we had similar upbringings and occupations so there isn’t much of a salary difference between us.

You can watch us on Youtube

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Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we live across the country at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

What's on the show

• Britt's wardrobe malfunction at the Bridget Jones premiere (or did she?)
• Do twins ACTUALLY use being twins to get out of trouble?
• Britt's Dancing With The Stars partner Craig Monley 
• Chrissy Tiegen is in hot water (literally) with her bathing habits (again)
• Britt chats about media rewriting the 'cougar' narrative
• Tara Pavlovic on normalising couples counselling
• The Pick Up  has a Ghost Baby haunting the studio?
• Your worst date stories

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When it comes to topics like pleasure and  sex, we all have different biases and shame that we carry and  it’s difficult to distance ourselves from the conditioning and societal values that we’ve grown up with. But this episode is definitely going to make you evaluate your thoughts on sex, shame and empowerment. 

Joining the podcast today is sexologist and academic Dr Hilary Caldwell. Hilary was a sex worker in secret for 20 years and kept her double life from her friends and family. She didn’t have any of the stereotypes that seem to surround women for their reasons of getting into the sex industry and she certainly didn’t need to be saved from it.
Hilary has used her experiences in the industry alongside her research to unpack why we feel so much internal shame when it comes to sex. 

Dr Hilary Caldwell is an academic with a Masters in Health Science and Applied Science. Her doctorate, ‘Women Who Buy Sex in Australia’ was the first study in the world to explore women buying sexual services and was informed by her professional career in the field of sexology. 

We chat:

• Hilary’s reasons for entering the sex work industry and whether they’re the same as everyone who enters the industry
• Hilary’s experiences entering the industry that oppose preconceived ideas and the things she regrets
• Why Hilary continued nursing at the same time
• Why she kept her other work a secret from friends and family
• What made Hilary want to enter academia and infiltrate the system
• The different experiences that women have around sex in comparison to men
• Emotions like jealousy and how poly relationships navigate jealousy
• Some of the things that sex workers collectively keep secret
• Why sex workers are fighting for decriminalisation rather than legalisation of their industry

You can find more from Hilary at her website

And instagram 

You can find Hilary’s book “Slutdom: Reclaiming shame-free sexuality”  

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