Today's episode is meant to help lift up the hands that hang down and strengthen feeble knees.

Being a human is hard! Being a parent is hard! It's actually meant to be hard.

Thankfully, we are not expected to be perfect at it.  

According to Elder Bednar: "Evening with a general authority" (Feb. 2020. See min. 34 ish)

"If you are doing your best; if you are consecrated and devoted, you're not going to mess somebody up. Heaven is in charge of this. Not you. Not me."

You are enough. You're doing it right. 

It's so easy to see black and white thinking in our teenagers, but I think it's equally prevalent in us as parents. Sometimes we get fixated on the rules, and on making sure our kids "do it right." Maybe we think that getting homework done always comes before fun. But then we have a kid who is being crushed under the pressure of perfectionsim, and needs a night off more than he needs another A. Maybe we have a family rule that "we always go to church." But then we have a 17 year old who feels angrier and more alienated every time we force them to go. I get it. Parenting would be so much easier if there were absolutes. If things were simply black and white. I wish we could make the rules and they would always be best for everyone. But that isn't the way life works. Very few things are actually black and white.

If you find yourself stuck in a power struggle with your teen, that may be a red flag that you're fixated on a rule, rather than trying to teach a principle. You may be stuck in black and white thinking. If you need help seeing the difference, DM me for a free consultation, or click here.

Have a great week!

References:

The Future Podcast Episode

"In principles have clarity, in practice have charity." -Brooke Snow

I love how coaching tools can help me better live the principles of the gospel!

In our recent general conference, President Nelson said, "None of us can control nations or the actions of others or even members of our own families. But we can control ourselves. My call today, dear brothers and sisters, is to end conflicts that are raging in your heart, your home, and your life."

Today I'm sharing three coaching tools that will help you do just that.

We know from scripture that "Men are, that they might have joy."

That also means "Moms are, that they might have joy."

We are created to have joy in this life! And yet all too often, we get so bogged down with the to-do lists of life that we forget to have joy!

Or we get so caught up in taking care of others that we lose touch with ourselves. We actually forget how to experience joy!

Tune in this week to find out why it's crucial to the health of your family that you learn how to create joy in your life! 

How many times have you lay in bed, playing a movie over and over in your mind of what you think the future will look like? I've done it so many times I can't keep track! And how many times has everything played out exactly how you envisioned it? If you're anything like me- probably little to none. One thing we DO know for sure about the future, is that nothing is for sure!

All the worrying and trying to fix ours and our children's future before it even happens is probably actually causing more harm than good. In today's episode, I'll give lots of examples of what this looks like for most of us, and how we can change our mindset. We can face the future with confidence, optimism, excitement, and love for our children!

Some quotes from today's episode:

“It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. … If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith.”—President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Latter-day Counsel: Excerpts from Addresses of President Gordon B. Hinckley”

"The future is as bright as your faith." -Thomas S. Monson

"We look to the future with enthusiasm." -Russell M. Nelson

If you are loving this podcast and haven't done so yet, I would be so grateful if you could leave me a review! This helps people find the podcast, and start their journey towards building better relationships with the people they love. Thank so much for listening, and have a great week!

 

Something we are promised as we keep our covenants is that we will "have joy in our posterity." But we also know that we can't experience joy without sorrow and difficulty. So it stands to reason that "negative emotions in our posterity" would also be part of the plan right?

In a previous podcast episode I explained the difference between clean pain and dirty pain. This concept also applies to parenting! Here are three things I think we do with that dirty pain that just tend to suck the joy out of parenting.

1. We try to control the wrong things.

2. We allow things to disconnect us from our kids.

3. We lack faith.

But if we can learn to embrace this opposition in all things, we don't have to wait for our kids to turn out "right" to feel joy in our posterity. We can feel it right now!

Related episodes

Clean Pain, Dirty Pain

The Parable of the Fruit Trees

Other references:

3 John 1:4

Doctrine and Covenants 123:17

There was a cheesy church video about the Law of Chastity that came out back the the day. I looked to it up recently to see if I was remembering correctly, but this time there was a song that really stood out to me. In it was the phrase "you will not get lost if you walk beside her." Wow. That is so powerful to me, and exactly what I want those around me to be able to say about me! In order to become this person we need to 1. Be constantly increasing our own faith and 2. Invite people to walk beside us. Let's talk about how to do that.

References from today's episode:

The Cheesy "A Time to Love" video

The Temple and Your Spiritual Foundation by Russel M. Nelson

Eyes to See, Discipline to Create, Glue to Bind-Converted unto the Lord by Sharon Eubank

Matthew 5:16

The Book of Esther

Okay this is the last week to sign up for my next small group coaching program! If you're ready to improve your relationships while gaining a wonderful support system, this program is for you. Click here to schedule a free consultation for more information!

Several years ago, we bought a house that had been foreclosed on and neglected for a year and a half. One of the most exciting parts of this property was that it had a ton of fruit trees on it! The problem was- we had no idea what kind of fruit trees they were. So we worked hard on those trees. We made sure they had good nutritious soil, water, sunlight, and that they were pruned enough to thrive. Then, we sat back and watched with delight as all these mystery trees slowly revealed so many kinds of delicious fruits!

This is kind of like parenting. Let's be honest, we don't know exactly who our children are going to turn out to be. And we certainly can't control it. What we can control are things like meeting their basic human needs (food, water, shelter), teaching (but not too much), providing opportunities for them to feel the spirit, loving them, and ensuring they can learn things in an age-appropriate age and time. Listen in to this episode to see what I mean!

There's still time to sign up for our next small coaching group! You'll get to learn life-changing tools alongside other moms who's teens are questioning or leaving the church, while getting some personalized coaching! Click here to schedule a consultation with me for more information.

Related Episodes: Languages of Love

Have a great week!

We've all been there- your child does something that sends you over the edge and you just lose it. It happens to the best of us! But how do you feel afterwards? How is that relationship affected? For me- no good ever comes from those freak-out moments. Luckily there are SO many things we can do to make sure they are few and far between. Here's a few of them that I'll talk about in today's episode:

Be kind to yourself, and make sure that your needs are being met.

Learn to pause and breathe deeply.

Intentionally choose thoughts and beliefs that are helpful to you.

"Get curious, not furious."

Learn to visualize and practice ahead of time how you want to think, feel, and act.

You've totally got this. If, after listening to this episode, you feel like you need some more help with this, reach out to me! You can click here for a free 30-minute consultation or DM me on Instagram!

Another reminder that I have another group starting in March for moms whose children are questioning or leaving the church. It's going to be SO GOOD you guys. Click here to schedule a call for more info.

Have a great week, and I'll talk to you soon!

For our last "love" topic for the month of February, I want to talk about loving yourself. Although, really, this one should come first. Here are five dead giveaways that you are great at loving yourself:

You speak kindly to yourself.

You take care of yourself and meet your own needs.

You can comfortably acknowledge ALL the parts of yourself- the good and the "less-than-good."

It's easy for you to love others.

You are able to feel the love of God.

Listen for specific examples in the episode and think- where are you at in this process of loving yourself? Are there some things you need to work on? There's your challenge this week!

And here's what's going on with coaching next month:

I have another group starting! This group is for moms who have teenagers that are questioning or have left the church. You'll learn all the tools you need to change your thinking(and your life), get personalized coaching, and do it all hand-in-hand with other moms going through the same thing. Our first group has been AMAZING, and I can't wait for this next one. Click here to schedule a free consultation with me for more info!

I also have a couple of spots open in March for one-on-one coaching. This is for anyone who is ready to change their life for the better by learning how to change their thinking. Click here to schedule a free 30 minute mini-session to see if it would be a good fit for you.

Thanks so much for listening, and I hope you all have a great week!