Living and Loving Your Life with Chantel Allen

We are hearing a lot of messages around Selfishness lately.

That we need to stop being so selfish.

This has a lot of people in the self-development world scratching their heads.

Should we stop working ourselves? Is that selfish?

Selfishness in general has gotten a bad wrap.

When we think of that word- we don't typically think of a positive definition.

However, I think understanding what it actually is- can help us shed some light on what selfishness really is.

I believe there's a spectrum when it comes to selfishness.

Selfish is on one side that says I matter and no one else does. I will take care of myself at other people's expense.

The other side is Self-lessness which interestingly is where people believe is where we are supposed to be. That however is us taking care of everyone else at our own expense.

I would offer that there's a place in the middle.

Learning to take care of ourselves, so we can take care of everyone else.

How can we expect ourselves to give when we have nothing to give?

We need to be selfish to be selfless.

The way we do it matters hweover.

We are not saying to take care of yourself at everyone else's expense.

It's taking care of your needs AND loving everyone else.

Listen today as we dive deep into this conversation.

I would love to hear from you on your thoughts about this.

If you're wanting to grab a 1:1 spot to learn how to connect more to yourself- sign up with this link here.

Show Notes found HERE

Have you ever watched the show "Alone"? It's about these people that get dropped off into a forest with very few tools and compete to see who can outlast everyone else.

They have to get prepared by making their own homes, and creating a food and wood storage to last through the cold winter.

Now if someone decided one day to just not do anything because they didn't see the point, or because they thought it was so boring, then there may not be consequences in the short term, but their long term goals may take a hit.

Learning to chop wood and carry water is such a foundational key we could all use more of in our lives.

There are many things we can be doing on a daily basis that can really help prepare us for the hard things in the future.

Prayers, scriptures, going to the temple, doing an hour of silence.

Cleaning my house, doing laundry, going to the store.

In the short term, my brain will always think those tasks aren't important.

However, in the long term, there's a huge benefit to doing the small menial tasks.

Chopping wood and carrying water.

We want to learn how to take the time to do the small things which can prepare us for the unknown ahead.

What are some things you could implement more of this week?

If you're wanting to grab a 1:1 spot to learn how to connect more to yourself- sign up with this link here.

Show Notes found HERE

Often we can get caught up in our lives only focusing on what is not working.

We are of course- programmed to look for the problems.

However, sometimes its good to take a pause and remember that there are a lot of things working in our lives.

There's a lot we could receive.

Receiving is a skill to grow.

We love to give.

We love to solve.

But receiving is often a bit harder.

So today, I challenge you to work on receiving more in your life.

More in your day. More in your relationships. More in your health.

Receiving opens us up to move.

And who doesn't want more.

Listen in to see how you can learn to shift to receiving more.

If you're wanting to grab a 1:1 spot to learn how to connect more to yourself- sign up with this link here.

Show Notes found HERE

We have a desire to be connected to our loved ones on a deep level. We want that intimacy. And yet, for so many they are lacking in that connection.

They think it has to do with getting their love language fulfilled.

Or even having them show up a certain way.

I want to offer that in order to be connected to anyone else, we have to become intimate and connected to ourselves.

We are the gatekeeper to our intimacy. We only allow in what we believe.

So if you're wanting to deepen your connection to others, it starts with connecting more to yourself.

Let's learn 2 ways to build that connection with yourself.

And for the free PDF to the journal prompts discussed today- go here.

If you're wanting to grab a 1:1 spot to learn how to connect more to yourself- sign up with this link here.

Show Notes can be found here

Are you feeling overwhelmed? Unsupported? Frustrated?

Are you feeling like there isn't enough time to get everything done?

I am noticing a collective of people and clients going through this right now. They're is this fear that if they don't get things done, then they are going to be considered unproductive.

This is so fascinating to me.

We are pushing non stop for what? To prove what?

I want to shift this conversation to seeing how the drive to being productive as determined on the outside, is actually making us unproductive.

Learning to be productive internally is where we'll have the biggest growth.

Internal productivity however, can't be measured. So making it a focus is often hard.

Our brain doesn't see results it can measure so doesn't think it's worth the time.

However, spending more time being unproductive by external measures, is actually where we'll create bigger results in our lives.

Listen in to see how to make this shift and why it's something you'll want to implement today.

If you're wanting to grab a 1:1 spot to learn how to connect more to yourself- sign up with this link here.

Show Notes can be found here

Do you notice areas in your life where you're feeling burned out, stuck or frustrated?

My guess is that you're trying to prove yourself in some way in those areas.

What are you trying to prove?

If you don't prove yourself, what does it mean?

I noticed this pattern running in my life recently. It's one I have been using for as long as I can remember. I've been trying to prove myself in my business to get valdiation from friends and family members. I've been trying to prove myself with my weight. I've been trying to prove myself as a mom. I've been trying to prove myself with what I can make money wise.

Just non stop on the hamster wheel of validation.

And it's come to a head.

I can't do it any more.

I can't get enough validation to fill my cup.

And I've been angry, bitter and judgemental of so many others as I've been on this quest to prove myself.

It doesn't work.

Proving myself to anyone outside of me doesn't work.

So let's learn today how to stop seeking that outside of you, so you can feel more fulfilled once and for all.

If you're wanting to grab a 1:1 spot to learn how to connect more to yourself- sign up with this link here.

Show Notes can be found here

With a new school year, emotions are high. We're on high alert navigating kids big emotions while also making sure they are getting the education we think they need.

Today I want to introduce you to my amazing guest and friend Laura Lines. Laura is a Certified Life Coach helping moms navigate homeschooling and bringing a heart learning home into their kids learning environment.

Even if you don't do homeschooling, this conversation is gold. She discusses the gap in the learning system and how we as parents can help bridge that gap with what she calls the Heart Learning Method.

Give it a listen. And for sure go grab her free gift.

"Intro to Heart Learning" Free Video Training And if you want to go learn more from her, go check out her instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/gingerup_heartlearning/.

If you're wanting to grab a 1:1 spot to learn how to connect more to yourself and apply more of what you're learning here on the podcast- sign up with this link here.

Show Notes can be found here

Life in new phases can feel chaotic. And with the chaos we can feel drained, and overwhelmed. We want to believe that chaos isn't necessary.

But I want to shift how we look at chaos. Because over and over again, I can see evidence as to when we allow and even accept chaos, there is massive growth.

Staying calm, and in structure doesn't do much for change.

It just keeps us the same.

So instead of resisting the chaos- what if we embraced it? What might be different?

If you're wanting to grab a 1:1 spot to learn how to connect more to yourself- sign up with this link here.

Show Notes can be found here

How often do you judge yourself? How often do you tell yourself that you shouldn't be thinking or feeling a certain way? How often do you beat yourself up for being a certain way?

My kids are all getting ready for school and this has been something we've been discussing. There are some that are upset with how things were last year and have a lot of fear about those things repeating. They are tellling themselves they should be happier or better in some way.

However, those judgements, only distract us from being here in the now.

The past is the past. Love it. Allow the feeling of it. But stop being tethered to it.

The now is all we have.

Listen today to discover more of how to be in the now.

If you're wanting to grab a 1:1 spot to learn how to connect more to yourself- sign up with this link here.

Show Notes can be found here

Do you have friends? Are you satisfied with how your relationships are going? Do you feel like you're validated? Do you feel like you're getting what you desire from them?

For many people I've been speaking to recently, I've noticed that that hasn't been the case. Many people are expressing that they feel like they have no friends, or that friends are changing and how lonely they are.

I myself have noticed this shift lately. I've noticed how lonely I've been feeling as relationships are shifting and things are changing. My first inclination is to just fill my time with more relationships or call someone to fill that void. However, that void can't be filled by others.

This is what I want you to understand.

If you're feeling lonely, rejected, hurt, unseen or unwanted... nothing has gone wrong. This is your opportunity for you to see where maybe you've become reliant and co-dependent on others to show up a certain way so you don't have to connect more to yourself.

Today I want to share how I'm taking this time where relationships are shifting, and seeing it as an opportunity to connect more to me rather than thinking something has gone wrong.

If you're wanting to grab a 1:1 spot to learn how to connect more to yourself- sign up with this link here.

Show Notes can be found here