By Loving BDSM
We help kinksters have happy, healthy power exchange relationships.
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In our third episode, Kayla shared a some characteristics on what makes someone a good Dominant. We revamped the list, slightly, for a YouTube video in 2021. But we’ve never really had the conversation... The post Good Doms | Revisiting Episode...
Not everyone cares if people know they’re kinky. Not everyone visits with vanilla friends and family during the holidays. But if you do care and you will be spending the holidays with non-kinksters, we’re... The post Minisode 42: Tips for Surviving...
We have a lot of fun with these BDSM Reddit episodes, and if you enjoy Kayla-Rants™, you probably do, too. This week, we talk about toxic behavior, unionizing submissives, and more! In this episode:... The post Responding to BDSM Reddit…Again appeared...
Whether it’s sub drop or top drop, it can happen to anyone. Here are a few things to keep in if you find yourself going through it. A massive thanks to our Patreon community... The post Minisode 41: Drop appeared first...
Another Black Friday, another list of sex toys and kinky gear we love and recommend! All the links to everything we’ve mentioned are down below! Kink up your holidays with something fun and new!... The post Our Favorite Sex Toys of...
We’re trying something new this week, y’all: BDSM book recommendations on the podcast! If you like this and want more recs, let us know. A massive thanks to our Patreon community for making these... The post Minisode 40: 3 BDSM Book...
We’re continuing with the exercise of revisiting old episodes from the archive from before we had lengthy conversations about kinky topics. This week, we’re rehashing the second episode which was all about helping nervous... The post Revisiting Episode 2: How to...
In this week’s minisode, we share a few tips, tricks, and truths we’ve learned about negotiation in power exchange. Simply put, negotiation is a way to communicate your needs, get consent, and figure out... The post Minisode 39: Negotiation Tips appeared...
We’ve mentioned the concept of kink-shaming in many episodes, but we’ve never really focused on it as a topic. So let’s do that now! In this episode: According to Brene Brown, shame grows with... The post Kink-Shaming appeared first on Loving...
Truthfully, there are as many ways to be a submissive as there are submissives in the world. But in trying to define submission, we broke it down into three ideas. These are the broad... The post Minisode 38: What Does It...
We came across a fascinating article on BDSM, meditation, and mindfulness, so we decided to talk about it! In this episode: Cara Dunkley, a clinical psychologist from the Sexual Health Laboratory at the University... The post Mindfulness, Meditation, and BDSM appeared...
Yes, most of us know to consider the risks of our BDSM fun. Yes, most of us talk about safety or at least think about it on some level. Unfortunately, though, not everyone prepares... The post Minisode 37: Building Your BDSM...
There’s a lot that goes into establishing the routine and flow of your power exchange. Mindset. Desires. Limits and boundaries. And yes, habits. To do something different or new, we have to change old... The post Changing Old Habits and Forming...
We’re finally back with more minisodes, and we’re comin’ in hot for this one. Let’s talk about anal training! Not every power exchange engages in it and anal isn’t automatically kinky for everyone. But... The post Minisode 36: Anal Training Tips...
We’ve been recording podcast episodes since 2015, and things have changed a lot in all these years. So we thought it might be interesting to go back to the earliest episodes, before we had... The post Revisiting Episode 1: Anyone Can...
Why yes, we are doing Q&A; episodes on a semi-regular basis. We’re so glad you noticed! This week, we answered questions on “getting a partner to love you” as well as our most memorable... The post BDSM Q&A; appeared first on...
In this week’s episode, we take inspiration from a very vanilla article on the five types of personal boundaries we all need to set. But, of course, we talk about them in terms of... The post Different Types of Personal Boundaries...
We recently did a longer podcast episode on funishment. For those who want the Tl;dr, here are five tips and things to know about funishment if you’re trying it for the first time. A... The post Minisode 35: Funishment Basics appeared...
We spend a lot of time talking about what goes wrong in a power exchange relationship and what to watch out for. This week, we’re talking about the good stuff, green flags that indicate... The post Green Flags in Power Exchange...
Consider this another experiment. We enjoy doing the BDSM Reddit reactions, but we wondered what it would be like to react to vanilla relationship questions from Reddit. Spoiler alert: there’s no major change in... The post Kinksters React to Vanilla Relationship...
In this week’s minisode, we’re discussing a favorite kink of ours: face slapping! If you’re new to it and want to explore with a partner, these are a few quick tips to keep in... The post Minisode 33: Face Slapping appeared...
A common struggle of many submissives is learning how to ask for what they need and want. It’s especially hard when you believe that a Dominant is always in charge and will decide what’s... The post Minisode 32: Asking Your Dominant...
We’ve mentioned this topic so many times in the past, but we’re finally talking about it: the importance of vulnerability in power exchange. Our definition and view of vulnerability comes from Brene Brown’s talks,... The post Vulnerability and Power Exchange appeared...
In a new D/s relationship? Feel a bit overwhelmed and not sure what to do or where to begin? Here are a few tips to keep in mind as you navigate this new path... The post Minisode 31: Tips for New...
We’ve mentioned funishment many times in the past, but we’ve never devoted an episode to it. And it’s probably a good thing we’re doing this now because Kayla’s views on it have changed over... The post Funishment appeared first on Loving...
Curious about orgasm control? Here are a few things you need to know about it first! A massive thanks to our Patreon community for making these shorter episodes possible! Links from the episode: 5... The post Minisode 30: Orgasm Control appeared...
Yes, the hallmark of power exchange is that the Dom leads (or controls or has power, pick your term) and the submissive follows (or submits or serves). But that won’t always be the right... The post Following a Submissive’s Lead in...
The answer to that question is, as always, it depends. But we’ve received the question before from someone who really liked this vanilla partner but really enjoyed kink, too. Here’s what we think about... The post Minisode 29: Should I Give...
This week, we’re talking about love languages again — but instead of the original, we read Speaking from the Heart: 18 Languages for Modern Love by Anne Hodder-Shipp (she/they). We briefly discuss each love... The post Revisiting Love Languages in Power...
Subfrenzy hits many submissives at some point in your kink life, from new and excited kinksters to experienced subs who think it won’t happen to them. In this week’s mini podcast episode, we’re sharing... The post Minisode 28: Subfrenzy appeared first...
We’ve mentioned exhibitionism and voyeurism as kinks of ours multiple times of the years, but we’re FINALLY giving it a standalone episode. As always, it’s too big of a topic to be fully covered... The post Our Experience with Exhibitionism and...
What’s the difference between a submissive and a bottom? For some people, not very much. For others, everything. In this week’s minisode, we attempt to differentiate between the two. A massive thanks to our... The post Minisode 27: Submissive vs. Bottom...
We received enough positive feedback from a previous episode where we responded and reacted to questions asked on BDSM subreddits that we thought we’d do it again! This week’s post range from violating safewords... The post Responding to BDSM Reddit Posts...
As we see it, dominance is about three different elements: power, control, and leadership. So that’s the lens we use to define it in this week’s mini-episode! A massive thanks to our Patreon community... The post Minisode 26: What is Dominance?...
This week, we answered BDSM questions kinksters asked on Instagram (at that handle I hate) and on YouTube. The topics were wide-ranging, and there’s even a rant at the end. Enjoy! In this episode:... The post BDSM Q&A; appeared first on...
In this week’s mini podcast episode, we discuss a question we get asked a lot: Do I have to open up my relationship now that we’re kinky? A massive thanks to our Patreon community... The post Minisode 25: Do You Have...
We believe dominance is about leadership just as much (if not more) than it’s about power and control. John Brownstone considers himself a servant leader. In this week’s episode, we’re talking about what servant... The post Servant Leadership and Power Exchange...
Call it submissive training or behavior modification (or something else) but trying to change someone’s behavior (yours or a partner’s) isn’t always easy. While a lot of people use discipline and punishment, it’s not... The post Minisode 24: 3 Positive Reinforcement...
Can anyone else believe we reached episode 273 before devoting an entire episode to impact play?! Neither can we! But here we are! Warning, this is a loooong episode because even with an attempt... The post What is Impact Play appeared...
BDSM checklists are great for figuring out what kinks you want to try, what you don’t want, and what you’re not sure about. Because they get recommended so often (especially to newer kinksters), we... The post Miniside 23: BDSM Checklists appeared...
We want everyone to have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. But we also know that not every relationship is meant to last. Staying in one that doesn’t serve you or the other person doesn’t... The post How to Know When It’s...
Spend any amount of time online or in some local kink communities, and you’ll come across someone with an opinion of what makes you a “real” kinkster. Or someone who devises ridiculous hoops to... The post Minisode 22: How to Actually...
In this week’s episode, we’re taking inspiration from YouTube — and reacting to your unpopular opinions! We asked for these opinions on Instagram, YouTube, and Patreon. In this episode: Enter the BDSM Contracts giveaway!... The post Our Thoughts on Your Unpopular...
Humiliation play is a mutual kink of ours, though we tend to stick with the lighter end of the spectrum. We’ve discussed it in detail in past episodes, but this week, we’re sharing five... The post Minisode 21: Humiliation Play Tips...
In this week’s episode, we’re reacting to survey results on the secret desires and kinks of 2000 Americans. We thought it would be different and fun — and something lighthearted. Of course, you know... The post Reacting to a Survey on...
Not every kink scene feels the same as the one before. One time you might hit Dom or sub space, and the next time, maybe not. That doesn’t mean anything is automatically “wrong” or... The post Minisode 20: Emotional Reactions in...
You don’t have to be a service submissive to perform an act of service. You don’t even need to be submissive. Outside of a negotiated and consensual agreement, “acts of service” are simply how... The post Acts of Service We Perform...
New to the idea of a kink scene? Has it been a long time since your last one? In this week’s minisode, we’re sharing a few things to keep in mind for your first... The post Minisode 19: 5 Kink Scene...
Empathy might seem like a new buzzword, but it’s an important factor in how we all relate to one another as humans. Expressing even small amounts of empathy makes for better interactions and relationships... The post The Importance of Empathy in...
There are a LOT of things all new kinksters need to know but a lot of the conversation tends to focus on submissives (with good reason!). But Dominants carry a lot of responsibility, and... The post Minisode 18: What New Doms...