Loving BDSM

By Loving BDSMSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Relationships Sexuality

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75 min
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Based on Podcast App listening data

Loving BDSM episodes

December 08, 2017 There’s More Than One Way to Be a Dominant LB111
In episode 111, we’re showing Dominants a bit of love and attention. After so many messages and questions from big Ds who worry they might not “really” be dominant, we thought it was time...
The post There’s More Than One Way to Be a Dominant LB111 appeared first on Loving BDSM.
1 hr 14 min
December 01, 2017 D/s Isn’t About Sex, It’s About Power LB110
This week we’re back with an episode that might sound like it’s just for new kinksters but it’s a reminder for everyone. Sex might be a part of your D/s relationship, but that’s not...
The post D/s Isn’t About Sex, It’s About Power LB110 appeared first on Loving BDSM.
59 min
November 24, 2017 Our Favorite Sex Toys of 2017 LB109
The show goes live on Black Friday, and we hope everyone who celebrates it had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Tis the season for shopping, and we can think of nothing better to buy yourself or...
The post Our Favorite Sex Toys of 2017 LB109 appeared first on Loving BDSM.
1 hr 29 min
November 17, 2017 Having an Attitude of Gratitude in Your D/s Relationship LB108
Thanksgiving is just under a week away, and we’ve personally got a lot to be thankful for – our audience, our friends and family, and each other. Gratitude is necessary in every relationship –...
The post Having an Attitude of Gratitude in Your D/s Relationship LB108 appeared first on Loving BDSM.
1 hr 15 min
November 10, 2017 How to Walk Away from a D/s Relationship LB107
This week we talk about how to handle the end of your D/s relationship when you’re the one choosing to walk away. We don’t spend a lot of time on the reasons why you might end a relationship but we do share our thoughts on different ways to handle and take care of yourself in the process. Because of the seriousness of abusive relationships, we purposefully chose not to focus on this topic. Our intention is to do a an episode specifically on BDSM and abuse in the future. Please know that this episode assumes that your relationship is primarily a safe one.
In this episode:

Your reasons for leaving your D/s relationship are your own and they are valid.
Talk to your partner. Don’t ghost on them.
Be prepared for an emotional reaction – from them and yourself. It may hurt more than you anticipated. But it might hurt a lot less, too.
Practice self care for as much and as long as you need to.
Deciding between letting go slowly or ripping off the band-aid depends on multiple factors, not the least include whether either option is good for YOU.
Taking care of yourself and making the right decisions for yourself isn’t an excuse to be mean or cruel. Be firm but kind.

Links from the show:
6 Ideas for Self Care After a D/s Relationship Ends (blog post)
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1 hr 9 min
November 03, 2017 When a Dominant Says No LB106
In episode 106, we discuss that moment a Dominant says no – whether for the first time or the 100th. It’s a big responsibility for both partners and requires communication, trust, and honesty – and a lot of integrity from both of you.
In this episode:

Kinky denial is different than a no meant to change behavior or because a Dominant doesn’t want you to do something.
The first real test of submission – for Kayla – was being told no for something she really wanted.
Allowing a Dominant that much control requires trust and communication – it shouldn’t be given away lightly.
Saying “No” as a Dominant comes with a lot of responsibility. Say it too much and you may have an unhappy submissive. Use it arbitrarily or “because you can” and you may hurt their trust and faith in you.
Use “No” judiciously. And if you mess up – saying no when you should have said yes or yes when you should have said no – own the mistake, apologize if necessary, and do better next time.
Kinky denials or denials as part of control must be discussed and negotiated. Submissives must consent to it.
* Even when a submissive consents, being told no isn’t easy. You may fight against old habits and a feeling of, “But I want to!” and memories of a time when you had total control over your own life. You still do have control, but you’re using it in a different way.
Subs – if you find yourself constantly fighting against denials or withdrawing your consent, it’s time for a long conversation about what’s going on and what you really want.

Links from the show:
Become a patron on Patreon
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1 hr 25 min
October 30, 2017 A Bonus Episode About the Wedding!
In light of the outpouring of love and interest we received – and to get back to normal by Friday’s episode – we decided to publish a special bonus episode all about the wedding. If you come here for the information and to learn something new, episode 106 will be out on Friday. But for those who are interested in knowing about the personal stuff, here you go!
Blog post image via Giphy
1 hr 6 min
October 27, 2017 Our Origin Story LB105
We treated this week’s episode like a big bonus episode – meaning there’s a lot of rambling. At the request of some of our “crickets” and because our wedding is Saturday, October 28, 2017 – here’s our origin story.
In this episode:

* The November livestream schedule is ready for Kinky Fuckery members! Check your email and the forum!
* The November/December Kinky Book Club book, Horatio Slice by Oleander Plume, is on sale through October 31, 2017.
* This week, right before our wedding, we sharing how we met and became a D/s couple.

Links from the show:
Horatio Slice by Oleander Plume – Amazon (affiliate link)
Become a patron on Patreon
Support the show
Postcard Project
Subscribe on YouTube
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Message or friend us on Fetlife
Contact us!
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Listen to the show:
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1 hr 22 min
October 20, 2017 Drama in the BDSM Community LB104
This week, in episode 104, we’re addressing a concern that several people have come to us with – what do you do when there’s drama in the BDSM community and it makes you not want to participate? We don’t have a step-by-step list to fix an overly dramatic situation, but we try to provide solutions, tactics, and new ideas to try so that you can have the best BDSM community experience possible – without the drama.
In this episode:

* The website is back up. A huge thank you and shout-out to @DomSigns – find him on Twitter!
* You can save 15 percent off the Crescendo by Mystery Vibe with our special link.
Drama happens wherever people gather – it’s unavoidable.
There are multiple ways to deal with drama – you have to find what works best for you.
Not every community is the right one for you. Look for or create the one that fits you best.
Don’t give up – you can find your tribe, even if they’re online or you have to make it yourself.

Links from the show:
Save 15 percent off the Crescendo by Mystery Vibe (affiliate link – if you make a purchase, we make a commission that will fuel our coffee addiction)
How to Deal with Drama in the BDSM Community
The Importance of Community – Episode 79
The Importance of Having Kinky Friends – Episode 22
Become a patron on Patreon
Support the show
Postcard Project
Subscribe on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
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Message or friend us on Fetlife
Contact us!
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Listen to the show:
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1 hr 10 min
October 13, 2017 “Tests” in D/s Relationships LB103
We’re a little bit ranty this week, but it’s all for a good cause. A new-to-us red flag appears to be submissives being “tested” on their D/s relationship without knowing it, without consenting to it, and without cause. Are there ways to prove yourself to each other in a D/s relationship? Definitely but not the way it’s been described by confused, upset, and/or angry submissives.
In this episode:

* Our giveaway winner for the 100th episode is….LewdVulpine! Find her on Fetlife or in the Loving BDSM community!
* We know there have been problems with the website. We’re working on it with great help, and hope to have it better as soon as possible.
Tests aren’t required in D/s.
You can have challenges or tests in your dynamic but only if it’s negotiated and agreed to by both of you.
“Testing” a partner without their consent and then punishing them if they fail is wrong, lacks consent, and manipulative.
The real “tests” aren’t tests at all.

Links from the show:
5 Real Ways to Prove Yourself in D/s Relationships
From Daddy’s Desk: Silence as Punishment (YouTube video)
Become a patron on Patreon
Support the show
Postcard Project
Subscribe on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us Twitter
Message or friend us on Fetlife
Contact us!
Sign up for our newsletter
Listen to the show:
iTunes
Google Play
Spotify
Your favorite podcast app!
56 min