Loving BDSM

Nothing particularly educational this week for episode 93. Think of this as a long bonus section. If that’s not your thing, no worries, we’ll be back to normal in episode 94.

Links from the show:

You Won’t Always Get It Right

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We’re out of town this week but through a bit of time travel, we have a brief episode on cock rings.

In this episode:

* Join 30 Days of D/s for free!

* This week’s episode inspired by a topic from Molly Moore’s Kink of the Week

Cock rings are used in and out of D/s relationships

They’re also good for plain old kinky fuckery

Cock rings can prolong orgasm and make a penis harder.

Contrary to what some people believe (even us until we learned better) cock rings aren’t a “submissive” thing – although they are used in power exchange fuckery

Cock rings can be sexy and fun and make sex better

John Brownstone’s favorite is the Tyler by Svakom

No bonus episode this week but we’ll be back next week!

Links from the show:

30 Days of D/s – Free!

30 Days of D/s Workbook (alternative to email program)

Putting a (Cock) Ring on It (blog post)

Kink of the Week: Cockrings

Our review of the Tyler by Svakom (blog post)

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This week we’re talking about kneeling and crawling, two stereotypical submissive acts that not everyone can do, or even wants to do.

In this episode:

* Join 30 Days of D/s for free!

* This week’s episode inspired by two topics from Molly Moore’s Kink of the Week

Kneeling or crawling can be a powerful submissive act

Kneeling and crawling factors into fantasies a lot – thanks to erotica and porn

Not everyone can do it and not everyone wants to do it

Crawl or kneel if it works in your dynamic but don’t think you’re any less submissive if you can’t or don’t want or any less Dominant if it’s not a turn on for you.

We’re out of town for a week so episode 91 and 92 are a bit shorter than usual.

This episode has a bonus section but episode 92 won’t. Yes, we’ll miss our crickets, too.

Links from the show:

30 Days of D/s – Free!

30 Days of D/s Workbook (alternative to email program)

Kink of the Week: Kneeling

Kink of the Week: Crawling

10 Ideas for Submissives Who Can’t Crawl or Kneel (blog post)

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We didn’t know a lot of people had feelings about this topic until we mentioned in on the blog and on Twitter. Episode 90 focuses on topping from the bottom – what it is, what it isn’t, and what to do about it.

In this episode:

* Kayla’s books on Smashwords are half off with coupon code SSW50 through the end of July

What is topping from the bottom?

What it isn’t

How people feel about the concept

Before you diagnose topping from the bottom think about why it might be happening

Lack of trust or fear could be the cause

Some people want power taken away from them, and it can appear to be topping from the bottom

If a Dominant feels out of control, the sub may be topping from the bottom

What to do about it? The answer is always to communicate. Only at that point can you decide what the next step is.

Brats, smartass masochists, and sass – is any of this topping from the bottom? Not necessarily.

Links from the show:

Buy Kayla’s Books on Smashwords – use code SSW50 thru 7/31/17

6 Things that Aren’t Topping from the Bottom

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We’re back for episode 89 and we’re talking about something that kills relationships or makes it impossible to get one started – your insecurities about yourself, your partner, past relationships, you name it.

In this episode:

* Join the Loving BDSM Community!

* The first Livestreamed Munch is July 1

* Don’t forget Kinky Book Club

Insecurities submissives have

Insecurities Dominants have

The word “jealousy”

How insecurities impact your D/s relationship

What you can do to work on those insecurities

Links from the show:

5 Ways Insecurities Impact D/s Relationships

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This week, we answer more questions from listeners and ramble – because that’s what we do.

In this episode:

* This week’s sponsor is Ecstatic Relaxation by Vin Charles

* This week’s question is from a listener who’s wife wants him to be dominant but can’t or won’t tell him what she wants or likes.

* We love getting questions from our listeners and readers. Hopefully we help!

* Feel free to email, reach out on social media, or send us a message on Fetlife.

* We got a postcard!

Links from the show:

Check out Ecstatic Relaxation!

4 Questions to Ask When You’re Struggling in Your D/s Relationship (blog post)

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In episode 87, we lie about how short the episode will be and how many listener questions we can answer. Hint: we only finish answering one question.

There are no real show notes, but we do have links for you if you need them.

Links from the show:

BDSM: The Naked Truth by Dr. Charley Ferrer

Kink-E Magazine

Kinky Book Club

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This week, in episode 86, we’re talking about the concept of the five love languages, as found in the book The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, and how to apply them to your D/s relationship.

In this episode:

Our sponsor this week is Ecstatic Relaxation with Vin Charles. He’s got a special offer just for Loving BDSM listeners

John Brownstone aka The Wood Dom has a Father’s Day giveaway running through June 13, 2017.

New relationship energy or “in-love” obsession makes you act in ways you won’t once you come out of it. Dr. Chapman says it can take about two years.

We all have love tanks. When they’re on empty, resentment and anger build.

We each need to feel love in a different way, and it’s often not the way our partner needs to feel it.

You likely will have different primary love languages.

The five love languages are: Physical Touch, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts.

If you’re not sure of your love language, think about how you prefer to express your love to your partner. That’s a big clue.

Most people have one primary love language, although it’s possible to have a second.

The act of loving someone is a choice, as is deciding to love someone according to their love language.

It requires work and you may have to learn new habits.

Using what someone needs to feel love to manipulate them is wrong.

Purposefully withholding your act of love is wrong.

Loving someone according to their specific language only works if it’s done because you want to and out of love.

Links from the show:

Show sponsor: Ecstatic Relaxation <===Click for a special offer!

Father’s Day Giveaway by John Brownstone

The 5 Love Languages: Book Review

5 Love Languages Profile

Postcard Shout-outs: PandaDaddy and PandaKitten (Twitter), Mr. J and LaylaDoodle (Fetlife), and Ginny!

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This week, we’re answering a listener question with more details than they actually asked for. The original question was about how to set up a scene. In our opinion, a scene is whatever you make it, so it doesn’t have to be elaborate or high protocol. For us, we call most of our scenes “playtime.”

In this episode:

* Our sponsor this week is Ecstatic Relaxation with Vin Charles. He’s got a special offer just for Loving BDSM listeners!

* Kinky Book Club is a real live thing!

* Is there a difference between a scene and “playtime?”

* Scenes can be rigid, filled with protocol, and elaborate…or not.

* Playtime, for us, is whatever we do that’s kinky – with or without sex.

* Some scenes are roleplay.

* Mind fucks can be a scene.

* Scenes or playtime all require communication and negotiation.

* Knowing your partner’s limits before you plan the scene is important.

* Talking about the details doesn’t take away the hotness.

* Scenes can be as basic or as detailed as you want.

* It’s important to go with the flow. Not all scenes will go as you imagined.

* Be flexible, communicate, use safewords, and watch your partner.

Links from the Show:

Show sponsor: Ecstatic Relaxation <===Click for a special offer!

Kinky Book Club

4 Different Types of Kinky Scenes

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Support the show

Postcard Project

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In episode 84, we’re talking about how to make a long distance D/s relationship actually work. What you can do, how you handle the distance, and all the rest that can make LDRs so difficult.

In this episode:

* Simpatic.US is our sponsor this week! Save 25 percent off with code LovingBDSM10!

* Announcements:

* The website and forum should be up and running again. If you get error messages when you log in, let us know.

* Loving BDSM merchandise is going to be a thing very soon.

* The benefits of being a paying member are starting to come online so go ahead and sign up at a higher level to get access to exclusive video content.

* Kinky Book Club is going to be a thing! As soon as we have details, we’ll let you know. All members will have access to participate.

* Want to support the show and this thing we do – and help me not freak out about money? Buy us a virtual coffee!

* You’ve found each other and decided this might be real. Now what?

* Look for and set up rituals, tasks, and things that aren’t sexual for your relationship

* Let’s talk kinky fuckery in your long distance relationship.

* Be safe on the first meeting.

* Making time and plans for visits is extremely important.

* Set a routine for your communication and stick to it – yes, we said this last episode, but it’s important so we’re repeating it

* How do you take it from a long distance thing to an in real life thing?

Links from the Show:

8 Non-Sexual Things You Can Do In Your Long Distance D/s Relationship

Review of Simpatic

Show sponsor: Simpatic.US (use code LovingBDSM10 for 25{f9217aa596ef7c31d3ccb66cfcebcfb2e1005627a4f091d5b036b60ab51054e9} off!)

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