Objectively speaking, you’re an artist if you make art. even if it’s not up to your standards. If you paint, you are a painter, objectively, regardless of if the painting is bad. I am sure we have all been to museums with famous pieces that not only didn’t move us, but they kinda sucked. But would you not call Jackson Pollack an artist just because he got famous for a simple style of throwing paint onto a canvas? If you don’t know Jackson Pollack - he got super famous for the splatter type paintings, which is reenacted in many preschool classrooms because of it’s simplicity. But if you look back, he was an incredibly talented painter prior to bringing that style to the forefront. If you only see that splatter, today, on a backdrop of detailed paintings, you may misunderstand the work on the backend that he put in to get there. 

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The perk of being selfless, is it’s never fully selfless. You will feel good, the more you do good and the more you see good. And the more we feel the immediate rewards of doing and seeing good, the more likely we are to do and be good in the future. Keep promoting by simply doing, and reap the benefits of the dopamine hits that come from such kind gestures. 

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If you’re feeling stagnant or bored and don’t know what to do to get out of your rut - and want an activity to feel less directionless? Try writing down all of the things you’ve ever wanted to accomplish on flashcards or popsicle sticks or slips of paper or in the randomizer app. Then, when you’re feeling a bit restless, you can pull one of the things and focus your attention towards that accomplishment for the next few days. 

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You can’t change the past - but you can learn from it. Don’t be afraid to sit in your regret for a moment, as long as you’re comfortable recognizing it as a signal of strength, too. You wouldn’t be the person you are today, unless you were bold enough to make the mistakes you made yesterday. Keep being brave enough to make mistakes and feel the regret you need to feel to know you’re becoming a better person every single day.  It takes a brave person to admit when they fuck up. We all fuck up. Don’t be ashamed of the fuck ups of the past - be proud of the improvements of your present.  

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Growing and living life means you will sometimes make mistakes or bad choices. Making mistakes means you will sometimes have to deal with natural consequences of those mistakes choices. But when we are afraid of being PUNISHED on top of these consequences, we’re less likely to try anything new. 

When you focus on retribution - you’ll become inherently fearful of retribution. Instead, realize some people will never learn from the consequences of their actions, but punishing them for that is likely punishing yourself in the long run. 

Cancel culture isn’t the problem. It’s people doing repeatedly doing shit they should be cancelled for and then not having to suffer the natural consequences for those choices. 

We should never be afraid of the natural consequences because that’s how we learn not to keep sticking the fork in the toaster. Be brave enough to make mistakes AND be brave enough to be held accountable. 

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Regardless of where you’re at shouldn’t be any extra shame when dealing with your emotional process. It’s hard enough as is and society really did us all dirty with this shit. So grieve. Be angry about it. And remember that anger and sadness (when released appropriately) are both healthy emotional reactions to fear. And the biggest threat to fear is love. So welcome any unwanted emotions with love and remember - you’re a human who is not only allowed but encouraged to feel the full spectrum of emotions - no matter what anyone has ever told you in the past. 

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Are you a person who acts mostly out of fear or acts mostly out of love? Do you show up to your day to day tasks because you feel like you have to and are afraid of the repercussions if you didn’t - or are you someone who shows up to your life because of love for yourself? 

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Familiar will typically always be more comfortable than the unfamiliar. Even if that familiar is fairly unhealthy. Many people are miserable and comfortable. Many people can find comfort in sadness. There is no shame in it, because often, we’re so used to the sadness, anger, or shame that we don’t even realize there is another way. 

Push yourself to be uncomfortable when it means you may find more peace or joy in the future. Allow yourself to find comfort and ease in the good, and not just the familiar. 

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You’re allowed to take breaks - even from your partners - to reassess, come back, and refocus on what you need, expect, and desire in a relationship - and you can do so without burning bridges. IF you wait too long to address something, it can infect itself and cause bigger problems in the future. Why amputate if you could’ve just cleaned the scrape properly as soon as you noticed it? 

Try not to burn bridges that don’t need to be burnt. Communicate openly, with consideration for the other person’s feelings, and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Taking a break may feel hard - but it’s less hard than burning bridges you may want to walk along in the future. 

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I talk about the importance of recognizing nuance in everything all the time - but we still often fall back into black and white, all or nothing thinking patterns that can cause us more harm than good. 

Let yourself be intuitive and make decisions from a place that feels good instead of afraid. 

It can and often will be both. You will have reasons to stay and reasons to go. You will have reasons to quit and reasons to try. You’ll have reasons to start and reasons to procrastinate further. You’ll have people who love you break your heart and you’ll both forgive them and fall into rage fits in the shower over the audacity of their behavior towards you who did nothing but love them. 

This is why change is hard. It’s why it feels nearly impossible to cut people off completely because normally people aren’t 100% bad - and often we’re able to hold on

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