Making Biblical Family Life Practical

As we bring up our children in the training and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4), how can we confidently address the hot button issues in our culture? When the world says humanity is a cosmic accident, society is nothing but structures of oppression, and personal autonomy and self-identification are the highest good – how do we respond?

In part two of our conversation with Ken Ham, founder of Answers in Genesis and author of the new book Will They Stand, we talked about how our educational choices for our children have a major, critical impact on their spiritual development and training.

We talked at length about forming a worldview – the lens through which you see and interpret the world around you. Ken uses the example of building a house. “You don’t build a house by starting with the roof and walls,” he said, “you start with the foundation.” He said that 95% of children in Christian homes are being taught in the public school system, where they are told that all things have a naturalistic cause and explanation – “which is atheism,” he pointed out.  All week they are taught a philosophy and worldview which is not just un-Christian but actively hostile to Christian teaching. Then on Sunday we attempt to teach them about Jesus and Christian doctrines.

“We try to put the roof and walls on a foundation that won’t make that structure stand,” he said. “And we wonder why they leave the church, and build a new structure based on secular thinking.”

“Ultimately we have to understand there are only two foundations to build your way of thinking. You start from God’s Word, [God] Who knows everything. That’s the only way to come to right conclusions about anything, is starting from Someone who knows everything, Who’s given us the key information we need. The Bible is a revelation from God giving us [that] key information.

“If you don’t start from God’s Word, there is only one other starting point — that’s man’s word.”

(continue …)

Answers in Genesis is best known for its presentation of Biblical, young-earth creationism. But Ken explained that so many of the “giants” our children will face, the most controversial issues in the public arena, are addressed in the first eleven chapters of Genesis – the act of Creation is only the first part.

“How do you teach your children about marriage? The gender issue? The abortion issue?” he asked. “You’ve got to start with Genesis 1 through 11.  If you don’t have Genesis 1 through 11 as the foundation, you can’t build the structure.”

Just on the example of marriage, Ken pointed out that Genesis 1:27 and 2:24 demonstrates God’s design for gender, marriage, and family, and when Jesus was asked about marriage and divorce, He referred back to those passages – without hedging or apology. When Paul deal with relationships between the husband and wife, he did the same. God’s word is clear, and we can stand on it with confidence.

God also gave instructions to His people on teaching their children, Ken said – in Deuteronomy 6. “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and you shall talk of them [God’s words] when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” (v. 7)

“Education is not just an hour or two that you do on Sunday,” he said. “Education is twenty-four hours a day. …

In the first part of this interview (episode 255, “Building a Legacy”) we talked with Ken about the importance of being intentional in teaching and training our children to know and love Christ. Our personal example is crucial; so is the educational system we chose to occupy so many hours of our children’s lives. As Ken says in Will They Stand, “You will leave a legacy … the question is, what kind?”

The post The Foundations of Education – A Conversation with Ken Ham – MBFLP 256 appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Welcome to the new year! Glad as we may be to see the old year passing, the challenges to our families never change. As the world around us becomes more hostile to Christian teaching, how do we prepare our children to walk in faith when they leave our home? What sort of foundation can we lay to give them a base to stand on?

We kick off our 2021 season with a conversation with Ken Ham of Answers in Genesis. Ken is famous for defending Biblical creationism and the historicity of Genesis, but he also writes and speaks on family issues. His book Already Gone looked at why children and young adults leave the faith they grew up in. A second book, Already Compromised,  examines how colleges and universities drift away from their foundations, too, and how parents should guide their children’s educational choices after high school.

But his newest book is a more personal account of how parents can build a godly legacy in their family. Will They Stand shares the importance of raising strong believers from childhood forward, preparing them to hold fast against a hostile culture outside the home and the church.

continued …

In the first half of this two-part interview, we talk with Ken about the foundation his father laid for him and his siblings, then how Ken and his wife Mally have kept Biblical principles central to their family. He centers his argument on a constant, intentional approach with an eye to future generations:

“Please understand that you too will leave a legacy to the generations to follow. They may not build memorials to you, and it’s unlikely that they will place signs outside of the place of your birth … but what you leave behind will forever impact the hearts and souls of those in your family and beyond. You will leave a legacy; the only question is what kind of legacy it will be.” (from the book, p. 63)

Ephesians 6:4 – And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Psalm 78:5 – For he [God] established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children

2 Timothy 3:15 – from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus

Colossians 2:2-3 – Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge

Answers in Genesis

Ken’s new book, Will They Stand: Parenting Kids to Face the GIANTS

Ken Ham and Britt Beemer, Already Gone: Why Your Kids Will Quit Church and What You Can Do to Stop It

The post Building a Legacy – A Conversation with Ken Ham – MBFLP 255 appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

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Finishing up a listener’s question from episode 245, (“What Are You Reading Right Now?”), this episode Hal is talking about some of his favorite biographies, and why he likes reading this special form of history.

Some years ago, Hal started reading biographies to learn more about figures in local history. What impressed him was how, when he’d been reading the life stories of men who had faced challenges and lived life with honor, faith, and courage, it started to show up in his own thinking — “How would such-and-such have handled this?”

That shouldn’t come as a surprise, after all. Paul wrote to the believers at Phillipi,

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, 

(Philippians 4:8, NKJV)

A life well and truly lived will show evidence of these things. What better way to consider them than to observe how other humans have applied them to the struggles of life?

A well-written and honest biography will include the facts of the person’s lifetime, as well as the cultural context he or she dealt with. Much of the current “cancel culture” betrays an inability to recognize the good that a person accomplished in spite of their times, instead forcing long-passed people through a filter of 21st century sensibilities. At the same time, an accurate biography will acknowledge the faults and failures of the subject. Humans are highly complex and inconsistent beings, which may prevent us from reaching our best potential as well as hindering us from sinking as low as we might!

An account of someone whose life work has been assessed through the lens of time, whose impact has been seen by the outcomes of his actions and words, can be a powerful encouragement and example to follow — or an earnest warning of ways and ideas to avoid! And that’s why biographies can be good for the character and soul. It’s worth considering!

If you’d like to know more about biographies Hal mentioned, links are here

(and for history, here are links to books from the first episode )

If you’d like to leave a comment, question, or request, our Listener Response Line is (919) 295-0321

The post Biographies for Book Lovers – MBFLP 254-2 appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Earlier this year we talked about books and authors the two of us enjoy together (episode 245, “What Are You Reading Right Now?”) and we mentioned that each of us has genres we like personally but separately. A caller on our Listener Response Line reminded us that we hadn’t returned to those books – “You teased us a little bit!” she said – so this week, Hal is sharing some books of history and biography which he’s been reading.

Over half the Bible is historical narrative, and God tells His people to remember the past and talk about it with their children. In Deuteronomy, Moses tells the people:

Remember the days of old, 

(Deuteronomy 32:7-8)

The reference to “nations” and “peoples” says this is more than the history of Israel – it’s all of us as “sons of Adam.” When we learn about history, we’re learning how God has guided people and nations over the centuries, with and without their cooperation or consciousness, and we can learn or take warning by their example.

Our own Benjamin Franklin, whatever his personal theology, observed to the Constitutional Convention in 1787, “I have lived, Sir, a long time, and the longer I live, the more convincing proofs I see of this truth – that God Governs in the affairs of men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without his notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without his aid?” (here’s a transcript) … and we know this to be true because it’s in Scripture:

(Daniel 5:21)

That’s a good thing to remember during this election year! And it’s a good reason to take a look at history, too.

If you’d like to know more about books Hal mentioned, here are links to all of them … 

If you’d like to leave a comment, question, or request, our Listener Response Line is (919) 295-0321

The post History for Book Lovers – MBFLP 254-1 appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

We want our kids to be friends and allies, not rivals and opponents, but that takes some conscious effort. As parents, we can make both the positive and negative efforts to build friendship and avoid tearing it down. How can we prevent harsh feelings between our kids? And better, how can we promote affection and goodwill toward siblings?

Remember your kids learn from your example – all the time. If you want to raise kids who are kind, you need to live and speak in kindness at home. They are always watching, even when you don’t think you’re teaching and when they don’t realize they’re learning.

Do your kids really believe there’s justice in your family? Unfair treatment from a parent might be favoritism toward one child – the only girl in a family of boys, the “baby” of the family, or anyone singled out (think about Joseph in the Bible!). It can also be one child who gets blamed for everything – the one who’s “the usual suspect” in every situation. One way we provoke our children (Colossians 3:21) is by jumping to conclusions when there’s trouble between the kids – dig deeper and be sure you’ve dealt with both the reaction and the cause!

Protect their dignity in front of their siblings. We made a point, as much as possible, to correct or discipline children privately, not in front of the family. Don’t give ammunition for teasing, or reason for a child to feel defensive and wary around the family.

Encourage acts of service for siblings – look for ways they can bless one another. Whether it’s offered as an apology for past bad behavior, or an expression of love and kindness just because, cultivate a spirit of thoughtfulness between the kids.

Help them understand and look for others’ point of view.  Some kids are thoughtless about how their behavior hurts or offends others. On the other hand, some kids are quick to assume the worst and take offense where none was given. Teach them that intentions are important, but perception and reception are important too and sometimes a bigger problem than the intention!

Suggest activities they’ll want to do together – on the condition they do them together. Bake cookies, provide projects they cooperate on, look for shared experiences and adventures. Shared memories are the ties that draw them together in later life. Often it’s the smaller things

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. – Proverbs 31:26

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another … – Ephesians 4:32

… be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity. – 1 Timothy 4:12

1 Corinthians 13:1-8 – what love is, and is not

The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression. – Proverbs 19:11

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. – Colossians 3:21 (also Ephesians 6:4)

The post Raising Siblings Without Rivalry – Part 3 – MBFLP 253-3 appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

When you’ve got more than one child, you are going to have challenges. How can you teach them to play together and enjoy games without the older ones overrunning the younger? We had six boys over a twelve-year span, so we had to figure this out! This episode, we’re talking about some practical ways to make family competition helpful, not harmful.

Games, sports, and competition are Biblical. Remember the Bible often describes our Christian lives as a race (Acts 20:24, 2 Timothy 4:7, Hebrews 12:1). The apostle Paul points out that you only win when you play by the rules and discipline yourself by training (1 Corinthians 9:24-27). We wrote a whole chapter about this in our book Raising Real Men, but we agree with the old theologians – games can be a great way to learn skills and exercise our minds and bodies, if they’re done in the right attitude.

Recognize that older siblings and younger siblings may not appreciate how different they are. Depending on the child and the range of ages and development, you will have to coach your older, bigger, stronger kids to take it easy on the little siblings. Teenagers can’t react to their five-year-old brother like he was another teen. We made it a matter of honor for our boys to restrain their impulse to hit back when a little one hurt them. On the other hand, younger ones need to be reminded that bigger kids are bigger, and it’s not wise to treat them like they were elementary-age peers, either. The idea that “We’re all equals in the eyes of God and our parents,” is good, but you have to remember that equality of status and equality of value do not mean equal capability or strength!

“Compete against the clock and your own best time.” We found our boys of all ages like to race the clock on math worksheets. The fact that one is doing third-grade work for the first time, and older brother is doing the same practice sheets he did five years ago, doesn’t matter when each one is racing himself.

Give younger kids a handicap. Let the older kids start further back, or give the younger ones a head start. Or let the younger ones choose or answer first, so the older ones don’t jump ahead every turn. Even up the playing field a bit.

Create teams across the ages. This is really effective with board games. The oldest child is paired with the youngest, and the next oldest with the next youngest – for example, the 15-year-old with the 5-year-old, playing against the 12-year-old and 9-year-old. You can also make the rule that the older team member can’t touch the board; he has to talk with his younger teammate and persuade him to move the pieces or play the cards strategically. Often, the youngest children just want to move the pieces, anyway – it’s the older kids who get the grand design of the game!

The post Raising Siblings Without Rivalry – Part 2 – MBFLP 253-2 appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

One of the questions we hear most often is, “How do you deal with sibling rivalry?” 

We had eight children, and six boys in a row, so we had plenty of competition and challenge to work with! A certain amount is normal and can be accommodated even within the family, but it has to be guided and supervised to keep it from becoming bullying or persecution.

Girls have their own temptations too, especially in emotional and relationship areas; we’ve known women who grew up as “mean girls” in their own family, and struggled with broken relationships decades after they left home.

We didn’t want that in our own family – we wanted our children to grow up to be friends – so we tried to take positive steps to build and protect relationships between our kids. And like Tedd Tripp says, we trained behaviors in the youngest, in the process of teaching the hearts and attitudes of all!

Home Should Be Safe – Nobody should feel like they have to keep their guard up when they cross the family threshold. That goes for spouses, too.

Zero Tolerance for Bullying – or Provoking – Bigger kids can tyrannize young kids, but younger kids can cause lots of trouble for older siblings, too. Proverbs 6:16 says God hates one who causes discord among brothers – so bickering and arguing are important, not just kid stuff.

See the Family as A Team – You won’t score together, if you are fighting one another instead of your enemy or opponent. Encourage your kids to pull together and support each other, especially in front of the rest of the world.

Enjoy Teasing and Wrestling but Don’t Cross the Line! – It’s fun until it’s not, for somebody. If you continue after someone calls “stop” then you’ve become a bully – see “zero tolerance” above.

Recognize How Different Your Kids May Be – and Keep an Eye on Them – Some kids can tolerate teasing and rough-housing, and some can’t. Don’t let either set the tone for everybody, but guide their interaction to head off offenses and hurts. That also goes for the child who’s quick to take offense — that’s no help either.

This week we’re trying a new format – three shorter episodes on the same topic! Look for parts 2 and 3 later this week and let us know what you think

And if you have suggestions, questions, or requests, leave us a message on our Listener Response Line – (919) 295-0321

The post Raising Siblings Without Rivalry – Part 1 – MBFLP 253-1 appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Are you starting homeschooling this fall? Was it always your plan, or did the pandemic make this an unexpected “best option”? Either way, are your kids on board with the decision?

Parents have the responsibility and the perspective to make this choice for their family, but sometimes the children aren’t thrilled. Even if it’s the best thing for them, it’s always more pleasant if everyone’s in accord about the plan. What can you do to help your kids understand and accept the lifestyle change you’re making? How is it different for young kids, middle schoolers, and teens? This episode, we’re talking about working toward harmony with your new homeschooling project!

The sudden shutdown of practically all public education in March, and the prospects of very restricted school reopening this fall, have prompted a lot of families to reconsider homeschooling as an option. How many? Several states are reporting double-digit increases in new homeschools, and when North Carolina opened its website for new homeschool filings in July, the rush crashed the site for an entire week. In June, researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 1200 families in Michigan, Illinois, and Ohio, and found 12% already planned to keep at least one child at home this fall. Another survey of 2000 families by OnePoll found that 43% are “seriously considering the option of homeschooling” this year. Vermont had a 75% increase already!

With so many new families beginning homeschooling, a large percentage are taking children out of classroom schools. Their kids have already had some experience of school culture, developed friendships at school, and formed relationships with teachers. The change in school approach is going to be more disruptive for them than their pre-school and kindergarten-age siblings. That means you’ll need to approach the idea differently with the older kids. Even elementary school kids may complain, “I haven’t seen my friends in for-e-ver,” — though to be honest, that’s been heard in homeschooling families, too, during the lockdown!

So it’s important to acknowledge that your kids’ fears, concerns, preferences, and objections do matter, even if the decision has been made already. Take the time to listen and engage them on their levels–you’ll be glad you invested in the relationship. This episode, we’re talking about practical ways to address some of those concerns. Not incidentally, we’re also addressing some concerns you might be having as an unexpected homeschool parent, yourself–like socialization, your qualification to teach, and college prospects at the end! So join us —

[Side note: Many of the news reports on this subject have misread or misrepresented the actual findings; for once, they tend to overestimate how many people are choosing homeschooling. Some media reported the UofM findings, for instance, as “A third of parents may homeschool,” but the actual study says 12% plan to homeschool, and 21% were undecided. That’s a different picture. Still, 12% is a huge increase over the 3-to-4% homeschooling rate nationwide last year.]

The post Getting Kids On Board With Your New Homeschool – MBFLP 252 appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

C.S. Lewis observed that our sins are often forms of virtues which have gone astray. The apostle Paul wrote to the church at Colossae, “Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Jesus Christ.” (Colossians 3:23-24)  We should be pursuing excellence–but it’s very easy to let that pursuit turn into self-righteousness, arrogance, and pride. And it can also drive a person to distraction, depression, and despair, as the reality settles in that we can’t truly reach perfection in our own strength.

So what should we do when we see one of our children … or ourselves … leaning on human effort and achievement instead of faith in Christ? When striving for excellence becomes an unforgiving and ungracious pursuit of the unattainable? When our obedience to God is based on appeasement rather than love?

Yes, it does. Jesus speaks of loving your enemies, a supremely unnatural thing to do, and says if you do this, “you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48) While it is true that God is pure and sinless, we aren’t and won’t be until heaven. Yet we can strive after this kind of perfection, which is not sinless but rather, balanced and mature, like James describes: “But let patience [as a result of the testing of your faith] have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” (James 1:4)

The sort of perfectionism to beware of has several unhelpful fruits:

Really, it’s a form of legalism–hoping to earn God’s favor or dissuade His anger by our own diligence. (continued …)

It’s good to be careful, watchful, observant. Our hearts are still drawn away from Christ and God’s law, so we need to be on guard against our own sinfulness. Our conscience can be helpful – Paul says in Romans that Gentiles who didn’t know the law of Moses sometimes did the right thing anyway,

when Gentiles, who do not have the law, by nature do the things in the law, these, although not having the law, are a law to themselves, who show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and between themselves their thoughts accusing or else excusing them (Romans 2:14-15)

But our conscience can be mistaken or confused. Paul wrote the church in Corinth, “I know of nothing against myself, yet I am not justified by this; but He who judges me is the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 4:4) And the apostle John wrote, “If our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.” (1 John 3:20)

Romans 14 deals with matters of personal conviction, and Paul says, “Let each be fully convinced in his own mind.” (verse 5) – but we do need to recognize that our conscience needs to be trained by the word of God. And we need to remember that each of us is on life-long road of growth–and we haven’t all reached the same level of maturity yet!

The post The Problem of Perfectionism – MBFLP 251 appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

If you’re homeschooling a boy (or just helping your son with his homework!) you’ve probably seen his frustration about writing. Yet the ability to put thoughts into words and words onto paper is a crucial skill for life and career. How can you get past his natural hesitation and open up that channel for communication? This episode we talk about some of the reasons why your boy may hate to write, and then, practical ways to overcome those hurdles!

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