Man Alive

Your relationship with your mom when you were young impacts how you see the world, relate to people, feel loved, ask for what you want, etc. It’s easy to overlook the power of this. Today we help you see how understanding your dynamics with your mom allows you more freedom, better relationships and even more success. 

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/kristopher-lovestone-mom.mp3

Show notes

What is your relationship with your mother like?

It’s a deep, personal question and perhaps not easy to answer off the cuff. But it’s really important! 

The dynamics you had with your mom set the stage for the rest of your life experiences and relationships!

Many clients have told me they never felt loved or approved of by their mothers and have then been looking for that with each woman they’ve been in a relationship with. 

Another client told me he learned to withhold from his mother because she was too overwhelmed to handle his feelings in addition to her own. Then he saw himself withholding truths in his current relationship because he didn’t think she could handle them. 

Still another client told me about how he had to grow up fast and take care of the rest of his family, becoming the man of the house. He now struggles with being able to receive, which has caused pain and struggle in his relationships. 

What was it like with your mom?

The more I explore the psychological and spiritual underpinnings of being human the more I see the impact of our relationship with our mothers!

Today’s Man Alive podcast guest, Kristopher Lovestone, is a sex educator and relationship consultant who teaches men how to succeed in relationships through communication, integrity and empowered sexuality. We dove into this taboo topic of men’s relationships with their mothers to support you in having more freedom, aliveness and happiness in your current life.

In this conversation we discussed:

* How to stop relating to others as though they are your mom, especially (but not only) in romantic relationships* Boundaries and consent as a doorway to personal power* The importance of honoring your truth, desires and needs rather than trying to be the rock – the man who needs nothing* True vs. false pride* The trap of attempting to not hurt others by hiding your truth and the negative impact you’ll find later

I know it’s easy to want to avoid your mother, but I highly suggest taking 30 minutes to make sure your relationship with her is not messing up your life!

Links:

Kristopher’s website

For Men:  3 Ways Men Lose Influence at Work and With Women

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

Kristopher Lovestone is a sex educator and relationship consultant who survived six divorces in his childhood.  He now teaches men how to succeed in their relationship through communication and integrity.

Your relationship with your mom when you were young impacts how you see the world, relate to people, feel loved, ask for what you want, etc. It's easy to overlook the power of this. Today we help you see how understanding your dynamics with your mom allows you more freedom, better relationships and even more success.

Many men are confused when asked to feel their heart! What does that mean and how can you actually do it? This weeks guest, Bryan Reeves, is your perfect guide!

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/Bryan-reeves-emotional-intelligence.mp3

Show notes

Have you ever been confused when a woman asks you to, “feel your heart,” or when she says she wants you to be more emotional or doesn’t feel close to you?

This can happen in family, friend, work and other life situations, too. Most of us have been trained to prioritize our minds, to know what we like and don’t like, by considering our thoughts. 

We use our minds to make decisions, to have conversations and connections. You may even be thinking as you read this, “What else would I do?”

The sad part about prioritizing your mind is that your mind is only part of your capacity to love and lead. You become more powerful, impactful and inspiring when you have access to your emotions as well.

But as a man you may have felt frustrated, even angry, when someone asks you to feel your heart because you may have no idea how to do this!

In today’s Man Alive episode I was joined by Bryan Reeves, speaker, coach and author of viral blog, “Choose Her Every Day (or Leave Her)” and two books, including his latest,  “Tell The Truth, Let The Peace Fall Where It May.”

Today we discuss:

* How to make sense of emotional intelligence, intimacy and what women ask of you* WTF connecting to your heart means and why it matters* What happens in relationships when you don’t connect with your heart and body* How to “be a man” who takes responsibility but doesn’t fall into shame or self-criticism* What is possible in life when you don’t settle for “good enough” 

Bryan is a powerful, down to earth man who used to be a US Air Force Captain. He has wrestled with love, intimate relationships and gaining access to his heart. 

This is a powerful conversation for you if you haven’t felt as close or connected to people in your life as you want to, or if anyone has told you they don’t feel close or emotionally connected to you! 

Links:

Bryan Reeves

For Men:  3 Ways Men Lose Influence at Work and With Women

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

A former US Air Force Captain turned Author/Coach/Speaker, Bryan Reeves has triumphed through multiple dark nights of the soul after hurling himself into the transformational fires of intimate relationship over and over again. With a Masters Degree in Human Relations, Bryan coaches men, women and couples in creating thriving lives and relationships. Bryan is the author of the viral blog, “Choose Her Every Day (or Leave Her)” and two books on Amazon, including his latest, “Tell The Truth, Let The Peace Fall Where It May.”

Bryan has taught workshops around the country (and even at sea) at Wanderlust Festival, Zen Cruise, SoHo House,

The amount of wealth and financial confidence a man has often plays a major role in both life and relationship satisfaction. Today’s guest shares strategies to give you a less worrisome and more successful financial future. 

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/Stephen-money.mp3

Show notes

Have you ever felt your confidence fade as a result of your financial situation?

Many men have told me they feel depressed, stressed or don’t think they can have a relationship until their financial situation is better. 

Men who are in long-term relationships have come to me with pain and struggle because of fights about money. 

Money has a powerful impact on our lives and it can be challenging to feel in control of not only how much money you make, but how you save and set yourself up for a financially stable future and retirement. We are living longer and need to take this into account!

Today’s Man Alive expert, Stephen Gardner, shares strategies to help you worry less and have more control over your financial future. 

Stephen is the best-selling author of Taming Wall Street and many other books. He is a national sales trainer and speaker in the financial services industry and is on a mission to help strengthen America one family at a time, by educating them on safe ways to grow and control their money.

In this episode we discussed:

* The most common fears men seem to have when it comes to money* What it takes to actually be in control of your money (Note: many people think they are when they’re not)* The importance and how-to of saving money* How to navigate the desire to retire earlier even as many of us live longer* Safe vs. risky investment strategies * 9 “interferers” of wealth and financial confidence

This is a great episode to listen to if you ever stress about your financial situation or you are thinking about your financial future. Stephen brings a clear sense of the financial system and how to make it work to your advantage. 

Links:

Your Bridge Plan

For Men:  3 Ways Men Lose Influence at Work and With Women

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

Stephen Gardner is the best-selling author of Taming Wall Street along with five other books. He is a national sales trainer and speaker in the financial services industry. Stephen is on a mission to help strengthen America one family at a time by educating them on safe ways to grow and control their money.

The strategies he teaches in his book fly in the face of traditional investing. He is a big believer in controlling your own money, legally avoiding future taxes and that are contractually protected against losing money.

Many men experience being vulnerable as a huge risk, especially at work. In this episode we discuss the types of vulnerability that make you more respected and create an effective and enjoyable work environment.

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/vulnerability-moe.mp3

Show notes

I know being vulnerable can be risky, especially as a man, and especially at work! 

You may worry that you’ll lose respect and admiration, or even your job, if you don’t look like you have it all together.

The reality is there are ways of being vulnerable that bring you more respect and ways that don’t. It’s not always easy to know which is which. 

Moe Carrick has spent more than 30 years working in organizations on issues of partnership, leadership, inclusion, strategy and culture. She loves men as much as I do and understands there are challenging dynamics for men specifically.  

In this conversation we discussed how the right kind of vulnerability creates an effective and enjoyable work environment and often then extends into more satisfaction in romantic relationships and family life. We also talked about:

* The surprising traits leaders say are most needed in business in the next 50 years* Balancing home and work life, especially in heterosexual couples* Necessary fundamentals to build effective partnerships and teams* What Moe has seen when men have taken the lead to welcome vulnerability at work* Moe’s TEDx Talk on Loving Men and her book: Bravespace Workplace

I loved having this conversation with another woman who has a special place in her heart for men. I highly recommend listening to this episode to hear Moe’s clarity about how you can be more vulnerable without losing your power. 

Links:

Moe Carrick

For Men:  3 Ways Men Lose Influence at Work and With Women

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

Moe holds a Master’s Degree in OD, is a Certified Daring Way™/Dare to Lead™ Facilitator, a Coach, and administrator of a variety of tools in her trade. She is also a Senior Consultant with White Men as Full Diversity Partners (WMFDP,) the market leaders in including white men in the critical conversations required to sustain truly inclusive cultures.

As a facilitator, protagonist, consultant, entrepreneur, author, employer, and relentless optimist, Moe believes that people can and should thrive at work, and that when they do, organizations succeed. With over 30 years of work in organizations on issues of partnership, leadership, inclusion, strategy and culture Moe believes that rigorous self-awareness, courage, honest dialogue, active involvement, and empathy are fundamentals to building full partnerships based on trust and curiosity. As a white, US-born, heterosexual woman, Moe strives to use her privilege with grace to surface assumptions that interfere with teams and to explore systemic patterns.Moe is passionate about the role work plays in creating meaning for our lives and in the role business can play as a force for good. She is a regular blogger on topics related to people at work and is a contributor to Conscious Company Magazine. Maven House Press released her first book,

In this follow up episode we discuss overcoming common challenges men face in the bedroom and how to listen to your body to create more pleasure and connection. 

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/allysa-bettersex2.mp3

Show notes

I know it can be challenging to find conscious, useful information on sex and intimacy, especially geared toward men and with women who are your allies!

So I brought back Alyssa Morin, a Somatic Sex Educator, Relationship and Intimacy Guide and founding faculty of the Institute for Erotic Intelligence, to continue our conversation about Simple Experiments for Better Sex. If you haven’t listened to Part 1 yet I highly recommend listening to that episode first – #101.

Alyssa breaks down the complexity of pleasure, embodiment and relationship into simple actions, without removing the mystery and magic of the full erotic experience. 

In other words, instead of giving you a complicated list of practices to accomplish — like embodying an ancient God or getting into positions that will leave your muscles cramped for days — she gives you easy, focused practices that actually help you create connection and spark. 

In this episode we discussed:

* Common challenges men face, including early ejaculation, erectile issues and being an over-giver* Listening to your body’s responses and remembering they actually make sense* How to understand your erotic map and expand your pleasure* How to go from needing a specific set of circumstancesto having a wider range of experience that creates orgasm* Sexually relevant material — what it is and how finding it creates more excitement and passion

This week, in a client session, we talked about how he is discovering a more satisfying sex-life, with a wider range of pleasure and more connection with his wife. 

We both agreed it’s hard to describe this in a way that makes sense to many men. I often say to men: “You have no idea what’s possible — how much more pleasure, connection and love is available.” But that doesn’t paint a picture of the ecstatic and deeply touching sexual and intimate experiences that start to happen when you learn how to communicate, receive, and attune to your partner’s body. 

Ready for more pleasure in your sex life? Tell me about yourself here and we’ll set up a time to talk if I’m a good fit to support you. 

Links:

This Erotic Life

For Men:  3 Ways Men Lose Influence at Work and With Women

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

Alyssa Morin is a Somatic Sex Educator, Relationship and Intimacy Guide, and founding faculty of the Institute for Erotic Intelligence. She weaves mindfulness, embodiment, soulcraft, and practical information into her work with individuals, couples,