Man Alive

By Shana JamesSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Philosophy Sexuality

Man Alive episodes

July 25, 2019 #104: Simple Experiments for Better Sex Part 2
In this follow up episode we discuss overcoming common challenges men face in the bedroom and how to listen to your body to create more pleasure and connection.
39 min
July 17, 2019 #103: Let Go of Perfect For More Business Success – Sam McAfee

Many men fall into the trap of perfection, especially in their career and romantic relationships. Today’s guest has found that the path of perfection is B.S. The more he brings his vulnerable truth, the more successful he’s become.

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/perfectionism-sam.mp3

Show notes

Many men come to me in pain, wrestling with ideas about how they’re supposed to be.

They tell me they are not living up to these ideas and think this is the cause of having less success or loving relationships.

Men tell me they think they should be strong, powerful, competent, productive, assertive…all the stereotypical qualities they’ve heard will make them a better man!

Today’s Man Alive podcast guest is a man who discovered, to put it bluntly, that those ideas are a bunch of B.S.!

Sam McAfee is a 20 year veteran of Silicon Valley developing better technology leaders, high-performing product development teams, and strengthening organizations. He has worked with well-known companies including Adobe, Teach for America, Anthem, PG&E and Blackstone!

Over his career he has realized that the more vulnerable and transparent he has become, the more impactful his work is and the easier it goes!

The idea that you could somehow be perfect, or that competence and confidence is your path to success or happiness — these are myths.

In this Man Alive conversation we discussed what can take the place of these myths, as well as:

* How fear impacts performance and collaboration* The benefits for teams who take on a growth mindset, rather than a fixed mindset* Becoming a better leader by bringing awareness to your personal scripts, patterns and archetypes* The trap of perfectionism that drains vitality, often without you even realizing it* How to take the risk to shift from comfort (Your Zone of Excellence) to the unknown (Your Zone of Genius)

As someone who has worked in tech for 20 years, Sam affirms the need for connection and putting people first, even in business. You’ll find more freedom for yourself as you hear his personal stories and struggles.

Links:

StartUp Patterns

For Men: 3 Ways Men Lose Influence at Work and With Women

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

Sam develops better technology leaders, build high-performing product development teams, and strengthen their organizations.

As a Silicon Valley veteran of 20 years, h has helped many companies build and scale new digital products, find product-market fit, and build and improve product development capabilities. I work with product executives and teams to build strong leadership and execution skills, through a focus mindfulness, autonomy, and social impact.

I’ve worked with companies large and small, including Adobe, Sharethrough, Teach for America, Anthem, PG&E, Blackstone, Credit Sesame and many others. I wrote the book, Startup Patterns,
39 min
July 17, 2019 #103: Let Go of Perfect For More Business Success
Many men fall into the trap of perfection, especially in their career and romantic relationships. Today's guest has found that the path of perfection is B.S. The more he brings his vulnerable truth, the more successful he's become.
39 min
July 09, 2019 #102: How to Be a Powerful Man (Without Ignoring The Boy In You) – Kenny Mammarella-D’Cruz

This episode shows you what it takes, beyond confidence or bravado, to be a truly powerful man and to “grow up” your younger parts, rather than avoiding them or trying to get rid of them.

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/power-kenny.mp3

Show notes

If you’ve ever thought about how to be more powerful as a man, this is a great episode for you to listen to!

Many men think that to be powerful they need a lot of confidence and bravado.

In my experience coaching men for 15 years, and seeing how women respond to them, this belief misses what’s really going on — andnot only with women, but with your own happiness and self-worth.

While confidence is part of power(and it’s important to understand what confidence really is — which we’ll save for another time), there is much more going on beneath the surface that creates power or powerlessness.

Some of it is surprising and might be really different than you’d imagine. It often takes embracing the younger parts in you, rather than avoiding or trying to get rid of them.

In this Man Alive podcast I was joined by Kenny Mammarella-D’Cruz. He was dubbed by Newsweek as the “Man Whisperer” and has been a personal development consultant, working with men since 2002. In this conversation we discussed…

* The four foundations of becoming a Powerful Man* Why your emotions and vulnerability are actually a road to freedom* The path to being interdependent, rather than codependent* Why it’s important to embrace the boy inside you and move through the trauma of younger years* How to meet life’s challenges with strength and courage, and not alone

The most powerful men I know are also the ones who are most willing to embrace and share all parts of themselves — their sadness, longing, anger, fear… You don’t have to get rid of any part of you to be stronger and more manly.

Links:

Kenny D Cruz

Men’s Groups

For men: 3 Ways Men Lose Influence at Work and With Women

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

Kenny Mammarella-D’Cruz is the “Man Whisperer” (Newsweek) who helps men achieve their life, relationship and career goals. As a personal development consultant, Kenny runs workshops and sees individuals and couples for private consultations. He has been holding men’s groups in London and online since 2002 and now teaches a men’s group facilitator training workshop. His MenSpeak Charity will launch later this year. Kenny loves helping men (and women) gain the awareness and tools to consciously embody their potential and meet all of life’s challenges.

40 min
July 09, 2019 #102: How to Be a Powerful Man (Without Ignoring The Boy In You)
This episode shows you what it takes, beyond confidence or bravado, to be a truly powerful man and to "grow up" your younger parts, rather than avoiding them or trying to get rid of them.
40 min
June 26, 2019 #101: Simple Experiments For Better S*x – Alyssa Morin

Many people are overwhelmed and confused by complicated techniques and positions that are supposed to create spark and passion. This episode gives you simple experiments for a hotter and more connected love life.

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/betterlovelife-alyssa.mp3

Show notes

Have you ever wanted more passion or spark in your love life, but then been overwhelmed or confused by the positions, techniques and rules the “experts” propose?

Let’s be honest! Some of the techniques are complicated, even ridiculous. Things like…

* Embody a primal animal * Arrange your and your partners legs in alphabetical formations* Hold your breath and roll your eyes back into your head

While these techniques might be pleasurable at some point, they can be extremely disheartening when you’re trying to create connection and passion with your partner. They can leave you frustrated and disconnected when they don’t work.

In today’s Man Alive podcast episode I brought in an expert who makes it easier for you to have an amazing sex life. Alyssa Morin is a Somatic Sex Educator, Relationship and Intimacy Guide, and founding faculty of the Institute for Erotic Intelligence. She breaks down the complexity of pleasure, embodiment, and relationship into understandable, actionable parts and pieces, without removing any of the mystery and magic of the full erotic experience!

In today’s conversation we discussed:

* The cycle of arousal most of us are caught in that actually kills spark and pleasure* Small steps to take, alone and with a partner, that create BIG expansions in your sensuality* The true meaning of masturbation and how to reclaim it as an act of self-care and pleasure * The impossible idea men have about women that, when they let go of, makes sex more relaxed and connected* 4 ways to experiment with touch that make it easier to know what you and/or a partner wants

This is a powerful conversation with two sex-positive women who are committed to you being able to create the connection and passion you want!

Links:

This Erotic Life

For men: 3 Ways Men Lose Influence at Work and With Women

For Women : Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

Alyssa Morin is a Somatic Sex Educator, Relationship and Intimacy Guide, and founding faculty of the Institute for Erotic Intelligence. She weaves mindfulness, embodiment, soulcraft, and practical information into her work with individuals, couples, and groups. She breaks down the complexity of pleasure, embodiment, and relationship (to self, other, and the World) into understandable, actionable parts and pieces that can be worked with and made sense of, without removing an ounce of the mystery and magic of the full erotic experience. Nearly ten years of her own exploration in sexuality, conscious relating, soulcentric practices, and Zenhave led to a multifaceted approach that is co-creative and emergent. Drawn to this field of work because of a complete lack of sexual education,
36 min
June 26, 2019 #101: Simple Experiments For Better S*x
Many people are overwhelmed and confused by complicated techniques and positions that are supposed to create spark and passion. This episode gives you simple experiments for a hotter and more connected love life.
36 min
June 20, 2019 #100: Celebrating Men + Man Alive Podcast Origins
In the 100th episode of Man Alive I celebrate men and share a vision for a world where men are supported and understood in their most vulnerable places. I also talk about the Man Alive podcast origins and where it's headed.
33 min
May 30, 2019 #99: 5 Ways to Have Better Dates and Relationships in Midlife
Midlife dating and relationships have their challenges but they are also an opportunity for incredible connection, healing and passion. This Episode gives you five ways to have better love in midlife.
27 min
May 22, 2019 #98: A Man’s Path to Freedom- Ben Preston

Many men hold freedom as an important value. Not all men know how to be truly free. Today’s episode offers a deeper understanding of freedom that allows you to have more of it.

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/freedom-ben.mp3

Show notes

Many men I’ve coached have a lot of attention on making sure they maintain freedom, in the midst of relationships and obligations.

I believe it’s important, because being bogged down with others’ needs and expectations can drain your vitality, creativity and power.

But there is often confusion about what actually makes you free

Do you gain freedom by creating boundaries? By making sure your commitments are aligned with your truth?

Does freedom come from a set of actions or is it a mindset?

Can you be FREE while staying in connection with others or do you have to give up relationships to be free?

Today’s podcast guest, Ben Preston, offers a deeper look at what freedom actually is and how you can claim it for yourself. Ben is an engineer who uses design, facilitation and art to catalyze transformative, whole-system innovation. He is working on powerful, impactful projects like getting to zero carbon in New Zealand and understanding the impact of the land where Maori pacific islanders live in an attempt to reduce the high suicide rate.

In this conversation we discussed:

* One of the biggest blocks to true freedom and how to access it* How to know when you’re “trying” and why your life will likely get better when you stop* A powerful way to access more of your creativity* How to become more calm and grounded, even at work* Small actions you can take to let go of focusing on doing things right

There is a subtle view of freedom that is hard to grock at first. Once you do however, you can be free in the midst of any relationship or situation. I feel excited imagining what becomes possible when you explore this!

Links:

For men: 3 Ways Men Lose Influence at Work and With Women

For Women : Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

Ben is the director of a regenerative engineering and design firm. Drawing on his varied experience and a rich, diverse global network, Ben supports his clients to bring together the right mix of perspectives, skills and understanding to facilitate regenerative outcomes and whole-system innovation while increasing natural, human, social, manufactured and financial capital.

37 min

About Man Alive

From the publisher's feed

If you're not satisfied with your love or sex-life, and could use some insights into what makes women want more of you, tell me more about yourself here and we'll schedule a time to talk: shanajamescoaching.com/consult