Man Alive

Many men try to gain confidence and attractiveness with rules and scripts. 15 years of working with men has shown me you can throw out the rules and “right words” when you cultivate deeper levels of connection and awareness. Today I share a skill that will help you be more successful in both love and business

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/Shana-unknown-power.mp3

Show notes

Over the past 15 years I’ve watched many men try to gain confidence and attractiveness by turning to rules and scripts. 

As I’ve coached men, I’ve become clear that you can throw out the rules and “right words to say!” 

You don’t need them to have success in love or business, when you cultivate deeper levels of connection and awareness. 

And it’s actually more simple than you might imagine.

One of my favorite exercises I do with men is the “Silent Approach.” You may have heard me talk about it before.

A man walks up to me (or virtually stands in front of me on a video conference), without saying a word. After 10-30 seconds I start to let him know what he’s communicating to me, without ever speaking.  

I share the deeper layers he unknowingly gives off, like an invisible scent. When we look at communication, words are the tip of the iceberg. Underneath the words are the physical, emotional and energetic realms. 

Your success in business and love has much more to do with the underlying layers of communication than the words you use! 

In my invisible Influence Course I talk about the 8 Invisible Influencers that, when practiced, change how people respond to you in powerful ways. In today’s Man Alive podcast I dove into one of these Influencers — one skill that will help you build more trust, respect and even attraction. I have seen many men who are high performers in their careers, and who women like and want, use this skill. It may surprise you in its simplicity.

In this episode I covered:

* What happens for a woman when she becomes aware of you* The 3 shifts you can make right now that will make your actions more powerful* The invisible influence you naturally have and whether you’re using or wasting it* The overlap between success in business and love* How to have a more powerful impact on women and colleagues, before you say a word

I haven’t done a solo episode in a long time so I’d love to know what you think about this format. Simply reply to this email to let me know what you gained from hearing this episode!

Links:

Shana has been known for her ability to assess, in just a few minutes, the cause of dissatisfaction and stuck points in your profession and love life. Then she creates a clear and unique path for you to have true success and incredible love. Get 15 minutes of support with your biggest love or leadership challenge here. There’s no cost and no catch. If, at the end of the call, you decide you want more support, we’ll schedule another call for you to discuss.

Shana’s Guide for you: 3 Ways Men Lose Influence at Work and W...

Teams become more effective when they collaborate well. But how do you create an environment that makes it safe to collaborate, where people trust they’ll be heard and valued? Sara Ness has amazing experience creating collaborative, effective and inspiring teams and will show you!

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/teams-Sara-Ness.mp3

Show notes

Are you leading or participating in teams at work? Or perhaps with family or friend group dynamics? Team work is part of many aspects of our lives. 

I imagine you’ve had moments where being on a team has felt challenging! As our last podcast showed, dealing with people is often the hardest part of business and life! 

Companies are focusing more on collaboration these days because it works. Gone are the days of the lone wolf. Teams are proving to be more effective! 

What may be surprising is that teams are having to become more “human” and relational as we find that leaving your heart at home, pretending to be robotic at the office, is not good for your or for productivity, motivation or innovation.

On today’s Man Alive podcast I was joined by Sara Ness. Sara has coached more than 500 leaders in sectors ranging from education to the Coast Guard, on the art of empathetic leadership. She is the founder and Chief Instigator at Authentic Revolution. She’s young and she’s whip smart!

In this conversation we discussed:

* Three fundamentals of creating collaborative teams* How to greatly reduce conflict by including vulnerability in your leadership* The challenges of multi-layered leadership — training leaders/managers to lead others* How you may unknowingly block your trainees’ growth and ability to lead* Making teams drama-free (to eliminate costly and time-consuming messes)

Also, I’d love to know what you want support with these days. As the Man Alive community grows men have a variety of careers and relationships. Will you take a minute (seriously that’s all this survey will take) to let me know what you want and need most these days? Let me know here. 

Links:

Shana has been known for her ability to assess, in just a few minutes, the cause of dissatisfaction and stuck points in your profession and love life. Then she creates a clear and unique path for you to have true success and incredible love. Get 15 minutes of support with your biggest love or leadership challenge here. There’s no cost and no catch. If, at the end of the call, you decide you want more support, we’ll schedule another call for you to discuss.

Bio:

Sara is a creator and facilitator, founder of a thousands-strong learning community in Austin, Texas and instigator of many other groups worldwide. She is passionate about exposing the joy of human connection and exploring our creative potential through relationship. She has coached more than 500 leaders in sectors ranging from education to the Coast Guard o...

Teams become more effective when they collaborate well. But how do you create an environment that makes it safe to collaborate, where people trust they'll be heard and valued? Sara Ness has amazing experience creating collaborative, effective and inspiring teams and will show you!

Even great business strategies can fail when people try to implement them. Here’s what you need to understand about how people think, feel and act in business situations, if you want to succeed.   

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/business-success-tony-cooper.mp3

Show notes

What have been the biggest sources of struggle in your work?

What have your most common complaints been, throughout your career?Often it’s not the business itself, but the people you work with that create the difficulties. 

People have different pacing, mindsets, ways of approaching tasks, ways of reacting to requests, collaboration styles…

With all of this going on, above and beyond business strategy, you can start to see that how people relate to each other can make or break not only a work environment, but the success of a company!

On today’s Man Alive Podcast I was joined by Tony Cooper. Tony has contributed ground-breaking innovations to both industry-leading startups and Fortune 100 companies. He has been training, coaching, and consulting since 2002, with a passionate, entrepreneurial spirit.

In this conversation we discussed:

* How knowing the four ways people react under stress allows you to effectively navigate human dynamics in business* The impact on individuals and teams when our brains are stuck in survival mode and attempting to get work done* The nitty gritty on what is happening under the surface in business relationships* The hard truth about your colleagues that once understood makes them much easier to work with* The biggest blocks to business growth

Tony is full of wisdom and insight about the impact of people’s psyches and relationships on business.  I’m excited to hear how this fascinating conversation expands your perspective on what’s important in business. 

Links:

Market Force Global

Shana’s Guide for you: 3 Ways Men Lose Influence at Work and With Women

Bio:

Tony instigates breakthrough performance for businesses through his fascination of playing the “game behind the game”. He brings out the best in business leaders by helping them simplify complicated issues and supporting them to gain new skills and insights quickly. Tony has been training, coaching, and consulting since 2002, serving his passion of supporting the entrepreneurial spirit.

Driven by innovation in service of humanity, Tony is a serial entrepreneur who has founded and led businesses in both for-profit and non-profit sectors, doing his best work with “for-purpose” businesses.

Tony began his career on the General Motors’ Saturn launch team before working several years as a Silicon Valley product design consultant, contributing ground-breaking innovations to both industry-leading startups and Fortune 100 companies. Tony then founded and led Splinter Furniture Design, a nationally-acclaimed, high-end, contemporary furniture business serving the interior design industry. Since that time he has played strategic leadership roles in several coaching and training businesses.

Tony graduated with distinction from Cornell University,

Most people don’t create their lives so as to reach the end without regrets. It’s easy to think you have a lot of time to accomplish and create, but the truth is you have no idea when life will be over. Here’s how to have fewer regrets when you reach the end…

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/Regret-free-david-wood.mp3

Show notes

Today’s podcast topic is one of the most important things you can put your attention on, but many men don’t. 

Ready for it?

It’s a biggie!

Here it is: 

You are going to die and you don’t know when. 

Of course you know this, but how much do you think about this? 

How much do you live your life based aware of this reality?

Most people don’t plan and create their lives to reach the end without regrets. 

It’s easy to think you have a lot of time to accomplish and create, but the truth is you have no idea when life will be over. 

On today’s Man Alive podcast, I am joined by David Wood, Coach and CEO of Play For Real. As a former Consulting Actuary to Fortune 100 companies David has been coaching powerful people for decades. He talks about how to have fewer regrets in life by increasing truth, daring, and caring.

In this conversation we discussed:

* How to add play to your life without giving up taking life seriously* 3 ways to be more fulfilled in life NOW and avoid being on your death-bed with regrets* How to navigate fear as you take the risks that are necessary to feel fully alive* A new way to look at the results you create — it frees you to enjoy life and be more successful* Creating balance by assessing your life phase and current needs

This conversation inspired me to create a clearer vision for my life! I’m confident you’ll have your own powerful realizations, and maybe even jump into new actions, after listening

Links:

Play for Real: Take your 1 Minute Reality Check

Shana’s Guide for you: 3 Ways Men Lose Influence at Work and With Women

Bio:

David says: “When you’re 10,000 feet ABOVE the Himalayas hanging from a piece of cloth, you see life differently.” He holds the viewpoint that life is the best game there is, and asks: Are you playing for REAL?

David coaches high performing entrepreneurs, executives and leaders to play the best game they possibly can, living a regret-free life. How? By setting life-changing goals, taking laser-focused action, and increasing their levels of Truth, Daring, and Caring – in both life and work.

A former Consulting Actuary to Fortune 100 companies – including Sony Music, Proctor & Gamble, and Exxon – David left his cushy Park Avenue job 20 years ago to explore both the outer world, and his own inner world. Along the way he’s coached thousands of hours in a dozen countries around the globe, and is the author of Get Paid For Who You Are, with foreword by Jack Canfield.

There are times in life when you may face grief and loss of extreme proportions. You may even “hit bottom.” However dark it gets for you, this man’s story will give you hope and remind you that recovery is always possible.

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/recovery-vidal-cisneros.mp3

Show notes

While last week’s podcast was on finding true happiness, this week’s podcast is support for the times when life is HARD!

Grief, loss and challenge are inevitable. Whether you face these in your career, finances, relationships or health (or sometimes all at once), they can be disorienting and even devastating. 

As a man you’ve likely been taught to keep it together and not show “signs of weakness,” so it can make life even more painful and isolating. 

Vidal Cisneros Jr., has overcome incredible challenges in his life. He is here to remind you that recovery is always possible and that even the darkest moments hold seeds of light!  

Now an author and contributor to the well-known book Chicken Soup for the Soul, as well as a speaker and digital strategist, Vidal has one of the most inspiring mindsets I’ve ever found in a human being!

In this conversation we discussed:

* What becomes possible when you stop basing your choices in fear  * How to overcome the victim mindset, even in the most challenging situations* The realization that the bottom does NOT have to be the end, even when it seems like it* The importance of a support network and people who believe in you* Vidal’s willingness to choose gratitude in the midst of betrayal, divorce, pain, jail, etc. 

Whether you’ve faced dark moments in your past, are facing them now, or realize they are an inevitable part of life and yet to come, this episode will give you hope for staying connected to the deeper meaning and inspiration life has to offer.

Links:

Vidal Cisneros Jr.

Shana’s Guide for you: 3 Ways Men Lose Influence at Work and With Women

Bio:

Vidal Cisneros Jr. is an author, speaker, and a digital growth strategist. He is best known for igniting the mess into a message with his inspirational book talks and media interviews as he shares his quest for deeper purpose and serving a greater calling in the midst of marital turmoil and financial setbacks.

In 2009, leaving a well paying road construction career, Vidal found himself facing insurmountable adversity. In September of 2009, Vidal awakened in a jail cell having hit rock bottom. As he soul-searched for a reason to thrive, he discovered a greater purpose.

Spending half a year incarcerated cemented his continued pursuit for his new life purpose quest. In less than eighteen months Vidal had gone through marital betrayal, separation, alcoholism, a high-speed chase, incarceration, foreclosure, job loss, bankruptcy; to recovering from alcohol abuse, working for two fortune 500 companies, and meeting the person that would give him hope to love again.

Vidal has conducted book talks at multiple Barnes and Nob...

The older we get the more our bodies, families, politics, career, etc. can detract from our happiness. Is it possible to actually be consistently happy? Joel Drazner believes it is and will tell you how in this episode. 

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/happy-Joel-Drazner.mp3

Show notes

Do you struggle some days (or often) to feel happy amidst challenges with family, career, your body, the political arena…?

With more responsibilities and a world that is speeding up and getting more complicated, is it getting harder for you to feel joyful or peaceful? I’ll admit it sometimes is for me!

The more I research and explore happiness, the more I see false beliefs I’ve absorbed about what happiness actually is.

It can be illusive and challenging to understand, but today’s podcast guest, resilience coach Joel Drazner, has found consistent access to happiness. He has guided many people from struggle and feeling stressed to happiness and a capacity to ride life’s inevitable waves and suffering.

In this conversation Joel and I discussed:

* The difference between fundamental happiness and a passing happy state* The shift that allows us to experience happiness more often* How to reach the point where we don’t need others or situations to make us happy* What most of our parents never taught us about our thoughts and feelings* The myth of separateness and the suffering we experience as a result

If these days you spend time wondering where your youthful happiness has gone, or you want to continue to feel happier as you age, have a listen to this important conversation!

Links:

Joel Drazner

Shana’s Guide for you: 3 Ways Men Lose Influence at Work and With Women

Bio:

Joel Drazner (MA in Spiritual Psychology) is a resilience coach for individuals, businesses, students, K-12 teachers, and families with loved ones in treatment or recovery. He works with clients globally and has been a keynote speaker at various commerce and service organizations. Joel has worked with incarcerated women, high-schoolers, teachers, business leaders, military veterans, attorneys grappling with stress, and is currently working with actors in Los Angeles on issues surrounding performance anxiety. He is curriculum director for the Int’l Committee of Artists for Peace, with programs addressing bullying, dropping out, and drug use among K-12 students, as well as bringing out their inherent potential and resilience.