In this episode, we talk about our respective styles of processing how we are feeling. Aaron is an external processor, needing to externalize what's he's feeling in order to understand it. Jenna is an internal processor, needing time to internally mull over what she's feeling in order to understand it. These two different styles can make conflict unnecessarily difficult unless you know how to work with them. We'll share the growth paths for each to avoid the common pitfalls in relationship.

Links from episode:

Attachment Styles Episode

That's What She Said Tool Episode

Core Emotion Wheel

Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package 

• 2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst

Click here for the "Summer Support" 

• 6x 10 min 1:1 phone calls with Jenna 
• On sale for $89 until June 2

Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. 

What’s inside?

✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)

✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations

✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & more

Don’t just plan your wedding—prepare for your marriage!

➡️ Buy the course  [cl

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

In this episode, we continue our conversation about changing how we show up in conflict by focusing on the choice we have in how we respond to our spouse’s pain. When your spouse shares hurt, are you holding out your compassion cup, or are you holding out your identity cup? We explore how defensiveness often signals that we’re interpreting their pain through the lens of our own identity and fears, rather than listening with genuine compassion. The truth is, we can only find our identity in God, not in how our spouse’s emotions reflect on us. Tune in as we discuss how to let go of defensiveness, embrace vulnerability, and choose compassion in the midst of conflict to build a stronger, more loving connection.

Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package 

• 2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst

Click here for the "Summer Support" 

• 6x 10 min 1:1 phone calls with Jenna 
• On sale for $89 until June 2

Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. 

What’s inside?

✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)

✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations

✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & more

Don’t just plan your wedding—prepare for your marriage!

➡️ Buy the course  [cl

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

Most people use Courtroom tactic when in conflict in their marriage or in other relationships. 
In this episode we unpack why this strategy is ineffective for real transformation. We get stuck "lawyering up" and end up adding pain to the initial incident. 

In this episode, we talk about where the real power is for transforming your marriage. It's found in the counter-intuitive grace and mercy in the Kingdom and out of the courtroom. 

Do you really believe The Kingdom Jesus pitched in the sermon on the mount- has the power He claimed? If so- why are we not ditching our worldly attempts at navigating conflict for the upgrade that's available to us!

Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package 

• 2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst

Click here for the "Summer Support" 

• 6x 10 min 1:1 phone calls with Jenna 
• On sale for $89 until June 2

Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. 

What’s inside?

✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)

✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations

✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & more

Don’t just plan your wedding—prepare for your marriage!

➡️ Buy the course  [cl

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

This episode is the third in a series on being triggered. So what do we do when our spouse is triggered? Well, we certainly don't tell them they're triggered. That never helps. Instead we get to offer our own peace and calm as we approach them with curiosity and compassion. And when we know we won't have that available to give, we use the "pause" that we would've agreed to back when we were both in a regulated state.


Link to Order of Operation Episode

Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package 

• 2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst

Click here for the "Summer Support" 

• 6x 10 min 1:1 phone calls with Jenna 
• On sale for $89 until June 2

Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. 

What’s inside?

✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)

✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations

✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & more

Don’t just plan your wedding—prepare for your marriage!

➡️ Buy the course  [cl

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

Following up the last episode titled, "The Science of 'Triggered'", we talk about what the four most common triggered responses are (Fight, Flight, Freeze & Fawn), what they look like in action and ultimately what growth and healing looks like

Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package 

• 2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst

Click here for the "Summer Support" 

• 6x 10 min 1:1 phone calls with Jenna 
• On sale for $89 until June 2

Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. 

What’s inside?

✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)

✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations

✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & more

Don’t just plan your wedding—prepare for your marriage!

➡️ Buy the course  [cl

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

"Triggered" has become a buzzword in our culture in recent and it's been commonly used to describe an experience for which someone else is responsible and therefore someone else's responsibility to manage. 

In this episode, we break down the science of what's happening physiologically when we get triggered and the truth about what we're invited to into when it happens, especially in relationship to our spouses. 

Our self-awareness around our own triggered states is the first step to treating the people closest to us like Jesus would: in self-controlled, vulnerable love that is not full of connection-breaking self-protection.

Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package 

• 2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst

Click here for the "Summer Support" 

• 6x 10 min 1:1 phone calls with Jenna 
• On sale for $89 until June 2

Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. 

What’s inside?

✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)

✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations

✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & more

Don’t just plan your wedding—prepare for your marriage!

➡️ Buy the course  [cl

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

In this episode we talk about how our connection with Jesus has grown and been shaped over the past year through small, consistent action.

How to Build a Bible Habit That Sticks! - Video
Crisis of Faith episode - Marriage Lab

Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package 

• 2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst

Click here for the "Summer Support" 

• 6x 10 min 1:1 phone calls with Jenna 
• On sale for $89 until June 2

Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. 

What’s inside?

✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)

✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations

✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & more

Don’t just plan your wedding—prepare for your marriage!

➡️ Buy the course  [cl

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

In this episode we talk about one of the central tenets to experiencing life-long sustainable change both within yourself and within your relationships: learning to engage your inner scientist instead of your judge. The judge is your inner critic focusing on the results, casting judgement and contempt towards who you are based on your behavior. The scientist is your inner curiosity focusing on the variables, looking for creative solutions for the underlying reasons behind your behavior.

When we learn to choose curiosity over contempt, we find more solutions, but even better, we learn to engage ourselves and others with the kindness that God gives us that leads to sustainable change (Romans 2:4). 

Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package 

• 2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst

Click here for the "Summer Support" 

• 6x 10 min 1:1 phone calls with Jenna 
• On sale for $89 until June 2

Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. 

What’s inside?

✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)

✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations

✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & more

Don’t just plan your wedding—prepare for your marriage!

➡️ Buy the course  [cl

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

In this episode we talk over how we intentionally plan for a peaceful holiday season when you both have different ideas about what that means. If you would like an assist in your planning grab a copy of Jenna's Peaceful Christmas Planner

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

In this episode we discuss how often our logical conversations can turn into emotional ones and what to do when that happens.

Refer to our episode: How to stop fighting over stupid stuff

For the Peaceful Christmas Planner, email [email protected]. 

Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package 

• 2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst

Click here for the "Summer Support" 

• 6x 10 min 1:1 phone calls with Jenna 
• On sale for $89 until June 2

Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. 

What’s inside?

✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)

✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations

✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & more

Don’t just plan your wedding—prepare for your marriage!

➡️ Buy the course  [cl

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn