Marriage Lab

Please don't listen with your kids. 

Our case for scheduling sex.

When life gets full—kids, work, ministry, and the endless to-do list—intimacy is often the first thing to slip through the cracks. We’re told sex should always be spontaneous, but in real marriages that can leave couples disconnected and frustrated.

In this episode, we talk honestly about scheduling sex—why it isn’t cold or unromantic, but actually a powerful way to prioritize each other. We’ll unpack the myths around spontaneity, share how intentional rhythms can actually increase desire and connection, and give you practical tools for creating space for intimacy without guilt, pressure, or shame.

If you’ve ever felt like the busyness of life is crowding out closeness, this conversation will help you reframe intimacy as something worth planning for—because a thriving marriage doesn’t happen by accident.

Promo Price until 9/13/26:    Wives- Click here for YOUR HALF OF THE MARRIAGE

Click here for the interest list

Support the show

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GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

We all scoff. We all slip into sarcasm. 

But what if those “little” habits aren’t as harmless as they seem? Research from the Gottman Institute shows that contempt — often disguised as casual teasing — is the single strongest predictor of death to connection (aka: divorce)

Scoffing, sarcasm, and eye-rolling may feel small in the moment, but they send powerful messages of superiority, dismissal, and disrespect.

In this episode, we unpack how these micro-habits of contempt impact the brain, erode safety, and poison connection in marriage. You’ll hear real-life examples of how scoffing and sarcasm sneak into everyday conversations, what’s really hiding underneath those jabs (hint: it’s often unspoken pain), and practical ways to replace contempt with curiosity and vulnerability.

If you’ve ever said, “Oh, we’re just teasing,” this episode will help you see why even a few “drops of poison” can contaminate the well of your relationship — and how to choose a healthier, more life-giving way forward.

We are giving you a 30 day Challenge: Weed out scoffing & sarcasm from your dialogue. See what a difference it makes. (Remember: don't use this challenge to start tallying how often your partner uses them- mind your half of the yard only :)

Promo Price until 9/13/26:    Wives- Click here for YOUR HALF OF THE MARRIAGE

Click here for the interest list

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

Last time we talked about ruminating vs. processing. 

This week, I’m walking you through the how—practical steps to move through pain even if the other person doesn’t respond well.

Here’s the framework:

1. Notice your looping → instead, name the feeling
2. Untangle your worth from their behavior
3. Remind yourself: I can be okay even if…
4. Stay rooted in your power—choose your next step

Looping keeps you stuck, but processing sets you free.

Podcasts Referenced in this episode: 

• Quit Mind Reading (stop assuming, start asking) 
• Offended? Check your boundaries

Promo Price until 9/13/26:    Wives- Click here for YOUR HALF OF THE MARRIAGE

Click here for the interest list

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

Can you tell the difference between when your emotions are hijacking you & when they're helping you? 

Noticing and expressing our emotions is a good thing. In fact, it’s vital for a healthy marriage. But there’s a thin line between naming our emotions and over-identifying with them. That’s where we slip into rumination—looping on the hurt, replaying the offense, and assigning meaning that keeps us stuck.

In this episode, we explore the difference between processing your emotions and looping on them. We’ll look at how the brain responds when you over-identify with a painful feeling, why that keeps you in the spin cycle of stress, and how to shift toward processing in a way that actually heals and moves you forward.

You’ll learn:

• Why emotions are valuable signals, but sketchy narrators when you over-identify with them
• How looping recycles pain, while processing frees you—even if your spouse doesn’t respond the way you hoped
• The simple truth of “Looping hurts me. Processing heals me.”

This episode is all about reclaiming the gift of emotion—without letting it hijack your peace.

Promo Price until 9/13/26:    Wives- Click here for YOUR HALF OF THE MARRIAGE

Click here for the interest list

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

In this episode of Marriage Lab, Erin and Jenna dive into the do’s and don’ts of processing with your spouse—how to share what’s on your heart in a way that invites care instead of conflict. From everyday recaps to high-stakes conversations, they unpack why intentionality matters, how to check for capacity, and why leading with emotions creates connection. Along the way, they share practical “dos” like focusing on feelings, clarifying expectations, and processing elsewhere first—and the “don’ts” that can derail intimacy, like dumping endless details, seeking commiseration, or winging it in painful moments. They also illustrate how hope, grace, and the Holy Spirit are essential for real transformation in communication and marriage.

Promo Price until 9/13/26:    Wives- Click here for YOUR HALF OF THE MARRIAGE

Click here for the interest list

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

Think you’ve forgiven… but still feel stuck? You’re not alone.
Most of us were never taught what real forgiveness looks like—just the performance of it.
Say a prayer. Say the words. Move on.
Except… we don’t.

This episode will shift your view of forgiveness from a moment to a movement—one that actually sets you free.

👇 We’ll cover:
 • The sneaky ways we fake forgiveness (without knowing it)
 • 6 reflection questions to assess where you really are
• Tiny habits that rewire your brain + soften your heart
• Why peace ≠ emotional distance
• And how to know you’re actually healing

This isn’t about excusing anyone.
 It’s about refusing to let bitterness narrate your future.

Promo Price until 9/13/26:    Wives- Click here for YOUR HALF OF THE MARRIAGE

Click here for the interest list

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

Some pain cuts deeper than others—not because it hurts more, but because it feels true. In this episode, we unpack the kind of pain that doesn’t just bruise your feelings, it hits your identity.

We explore three subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways this happens:
 • When someone says it outright
• When they imply it
• When you infer it

And then the spiral begins:
 – You feel like you have to prove your worth
 – You obsess over how they see you
 – You shut down, because it felt like a verdict, not just a comment

🔍 We’ll challenge the dangerous trap of letting broken people vote on your value.
 💡 And we’ll offer truth that anchors your identity in something unshakeable:

“Your identity is untouchable. It’s not theirs to name—it’s already spoken by the One who made you.”

If you've ever felt like someone else's opinion rewrote your sense of self, this conversation is for you.

Promo Price until 9/13/26:    Wives- Click here for YOUR HALF OF THE MARRIAGE

Click here for the interest list

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

Offense Isn’t Just Pain: It’s Pain + Pride

We often think being offended is just another form of hurt—but it’s more than that. Offense is what happens when pain gets tangled with pride. It’s the moment pain hardens into judgment, and we start to feel powerful… while quietly becoming more closed off.

In this episode, we unpack how offense feels like a defense mechanism—but actually keeps us stuck. You’ll learn how offense hijacks your brain’s ability to heal, why it loops like a highlight reel of your rightness, and what that reveals about identity, humility, and emotional maturity.

You’ll hear real-life phrases that often sound self-protective (“I’m not mad, just done”) but are often signs of unchecked offense. 

You’ll also get a practical self-reflection tool to help you “spot the offense” and re-center on humility.

Offense might feel like strength—but humility is where the healing begins.

You’ll walk away with:
- A breakdown of how offense affects your brain
- Examples of what offense sounds like in everyday language
- Questions to examine whether you’re stuck in an offense loop
- Clarity on the difference between healthy boundaries and prideful withdrawal

Promo Price until 9/13/26:    Wives- Click here for YOUR HALF OF THE MARRIAGE

Click here for the interest list

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

What if evangelism wasn’t about striving—but about overflow?

In this special episode, I sit down with a few of my friends fresh off a missions trip to unpack what actually cracked the code for us when it came to sharing Jesus. 

Spoiler: it wasn’t a strategy—it was being so connected to the Father’s heart that love naturally led the way.

We talk about what surprised us, what challenged us, and how everyday evangelism becomes possible when we’re moved—not pressured—by love.

Promo Price until 9/13/26:    Wives- Click here for YOUR HALF OF THE MARRIAGE

Click here for the interest list

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn

What if the “peace” you’re protecting in your marriage… is actually costing you real connection?

In this episode, we’re unpacking how passivity can disguise itself as love—especially in Christian marriages. We’ve seen it in our own relationship: moments when silence looked like patience, but it was actually fear. Times when we avoided conflict, convinced we were being kind or godly, but bitterness was the fruit.

We explore:

• Why passivity is not the same as peacekeeping
• How we can accidentally mislabel people-pleasing & call it love 
• Why stuffing your voice for the sake of love can slowly erode intimacy

3  self-reflection questions :

💭 Is there a situation where I told myself I was “loving” or “being patient”… but now I feel resentful, bitter, or shut down?

💭 Where am I avoiding action, conversation, or boundaries because I’m afraid of how someone will react?

💭 Am I hoping someone else will just “get it” or change, while I silently keep score or build a case in my head?

Promo Price until 9/13/26:    Wives- Click here for YOUR HALF OF THE MARRIAGE

Click here for the interest list

Support the show

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here 

>>> Become a sponsor of our shows <<<
This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.

Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab

Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Online Small Groups, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more. 

Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

Links:

• Online Small Group - Porn Recovery Course
• Couples Coaching, Habit Coaching, Porn Recovery Coaching, Emotional & Relational Health Coaching
• Book: Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn