Men, This Way

I’m talking today with my dear friend, intimacy coach and expert, and just all around lovely human being, Allana Pratt. We’re talking about Presence … whatever does that mean!

So many of us men may get that feedback from an intimate partner … “I just don’t feel your presence” …or “I don’t feel connected to you.” Or … “It’s like you’re not really here.” … and we have no idea what they’re talking about because ... "I’m right here!!!!"

So, I invited Alanna on to explore presence … from a woman’s perspective.

Allana's new online course for singles, “Becoming The One” in which she helps show you how to stop looking for the one and learn instead how to BECOME the one; BECOME the love you are looking for.

👉 Becoming The One Intro Course https://allanapratt.com/becomeintro

Use discount code: BRYAN to get it FREE (100% discount)

Allana drops all kinds of wisdom nuggets and insights in this episode so … Take a deep breath, and dive into presence with us, in this episode of Men, This Way …

Alright …

Let’s dive ...

“I didn't believe my stories or experiences had value, so I lacked confidence. But being in this group, getting feedback, and realizing that what I share brings value, joy, and insight has filled me with confidence.

- Jeff Wright -Elevate 2024 Member.

"My confidence comes from knowing I have a trustable brotherhood to rely on, something I never had before."

- Scott Silvi - Elevate 2024 Member.

“You can bring anything—your suffering, questions, or sadness—and you'll get caring feedback without anyone trying to fix you.”

- Jamie Bruffey - Elevate 2024 Member.

Today on Men, This Way:

[00:00] Welcome & Introduction

[03:00] The Weight Men Carry

[04:42] The Turning Point

[05:27] Meet the Guests

[07:09] The Burden of Carrying It Well

[09:51] Crushing Loneliness

[12:22] Lonely Success

[13:49] Confessions of Shame

[16:27] The Power of Men's Work

[21:02] Vulnerability as Strength

[30:22] Masks of Masculinity

[33:25] Fatherhood Reimagined

[38:59] Trusting Men Again

[39:33] Transformation in Relationships

[41:09] The Importance of Trustable Elders

[53:11] From Lone Wolf to Brotherhood

[49:05] Final Reflections

[1:10:33] Join Elevate 2025

Join Elevate: https://bryanreeves.com/elevate

Connect with Bryan & Tait:

• Instagram: @bryanreevesinsight / @taitarend08
• Email: [email protected] / [email protected] 

This show is produced by Synchro Social

I’ve got a special episode for you today … if you’ve been listening this year, you know that after 4 years of doing this podcast I’ve invited my long-time childhood best-friend of 40 years, Tait, … to co-host the podcast with me. And the last 10 or so episodes we’ve been doing just that … 

Tait is also my business partner and co-facilitator for the last 4 years in the men’s work we’ve been hosting for men all over the world. He and I together have stewarded around 70 men through our two immersive coaching programs, our year-long ELEVATE Men’s Coaching Adventure, and Elevate Your Relationship, our 6-month live relationship coaching program for men.

Today, we take a step back, put him back in the guest role, and talk about the journey of our friendship, the ways men show up for each other, and the ways we often don’t know how … like accountability we tend to suck at really holding each other accountable … we also talk about what men really want in life, and what typically stands in our way of having it and fully experiencing the joy of it.

We revisit the origins of our map, The 5 Pillars of a Thriving Man, … how that map came to us one fateful weekend after a life-changing decision we’d each made for ourselves … and we do a little dive into each pillar … 

If you’re inspired or intrigued or this just stirs up something for you, consider joining us for our next ELEVATE men coaching adventure, where we work with men for an entire year to elevate their lives in the ways that are most meaningful to them … Learn more about that at https://bryanreeves.com/elevate

This episode drops all kinds of wisdom nuggets and insights that could absolutely be life-changing for you,

So, take a deep breath, and stay present with us, all the way through to the end of this episode of Men, This Way …

Alright …

Let’s dive …

"If you make room for your gifts, your gifts will make room for you." - Preston Smiles

Today on Men, This Way:

• 00:00 Introduction and Welcoming Preston Smiles 
• 04:40 Honoring Preston's Journey and Friendship 
• 10:52 Preston's Philosophy on Failure and Success 
• 22:52 Conversations With God 
• 27:24 Impact of Shame and Forgiveness
• 33:40 Somatic Body and Joy Alarms 
• 49: 39 Challenges of Masculinity and Porn
• 59:27 Navigating Marriage and Relationships
• 1:01:50 The Importance of Conflict Resolution with Nervous System Regulation

Connect with Preston:

• Website: All his links
• Instagram: @prestonsmiles
• Book: https://prestonsmiles.com/book

Connect with Bryan & Tait:

• Website: bryanreeves.com 
• Instagram: @bryanreevesinsight / @taitarend08
• Email: [email protected] / [email protected] 

This show is produced by Synchro Social

"The heroic individual carries such an onerous responsibility. Don't we want to be entangled, connected, and create a community so we don’t have to carry everything on our shoulders?" - Sophie Strand

Today on Men, This Way:

• 07:45 - Sophie’s introduction to her life and work background.
• 15:36 - Bryan's journey on healing his masculine energy through reading 'Women Who Run With the Wolves.
• 16:55 - Sophie shares the evolution of her life through writing and how it evolves along with her life.
• 18:37 - Swords or Wands: Creating connections instead of dividing and feeling alone in the world as men.
• 25:46 -Understanding why masculinity is healthier when it embraces a greater diversity of archetypes.
• 30:31 - Where is Dionysus in our modern world?
• 33:27 - Embracing the present and overcoming the modern culture that values feeling good only when doing more.
• 39:59 -Bryan shares the lessons and insights he has gained while facing the challenges of infertility in his marriage
• 42:06 - How our culture struggles with understanding that some things are not resolvable, and that's okay.
• 43:52 - We can learn valuable lessons from the character Tom Bombadil for our lives.
• 52:03 Are narcissists really the bad guys of modern culture?

Ready to stop going it alone? Join Elevate:

https://elevaterelationship.com/

Connect with Sophie Strand:

• Website: Here
• Instagram:@cosmogyny

Connect with Bryan & Tait:

• Website: bryanreeves.com 
• Instagram: @bryanreevesinsight / @taitarend08
• Email: [email protected] / [email protected] 

This show is produced by Synchro Social

"I think one of the greatest freedoms we men can give ourselves is through the willingness to be hurt. It's the greatest practice that leads to profound freedom.“ - Bryan Reeves

Today on Men, This Way:

• 01:40 - Tait and Bryan share their highlights from the men's retreat
• 05: 00- How Tait and Bryan experienced brotherhood building.
• 08:17 - Understanding the fruits of having a trustworthy brotherhood.
• 12:41 - Reasons that keep men from building a trustable brotherhood
• 17:19 - Understanding why most men lie about their lives.
• 19:52 - The loop of isolation and resisting support most men experience.
• 23:30 - Bryan and Tait explain their trustable brotherhood model.
• 25:37 - the three pillars of a trustable brotherhood.
• 37:22 - Bryan shares the first time he experienced real vulnerability with a partner.
• 39: 29 - Wins Bryan and Tait have gained from being vulnerable.
• 46:46 - Bro Code
• 49:40 - Consequences of men not holding themselves accountable.
• 57:46 - The impact of trustable brotherhoods on society.

Connect with Bryan & Tait:

• Website: bryanreeves.com 
• Instagram: @bryanreevesinsight / @taitarend08
• Email: [email protected] / [email protected] 

This show is produced by Synchro Social

"If you have never chosen to tap your toe into the world of vulnerability, sharing, being open, and being interested in your feelings, it's going to be very uncomfortable and scary. That's because your brain is saying, 'Hold on, I'm not used to doing this. This is uncharted territory, and this doesn't feel safe.” - Brooke Weinstein 

Today on Men, This Way:

• 04:30 - Understanding how our brain works involves identifying specific behaviors and patterns to start embracing regulated parenting.
• 11:48 - Brooke shares how she began her journey in neuro-sensory based parenting
• 17:27 - Brooke opens up about how she was able to overcome her husband's suicide.
• 21:50 - Unique challenges and pressures men face in society and while raising a family
• 27:08 - Reflecting on Brooke’s strategy for working with men and helping them regulate their nervous systems.
• 36:53 - Tait and Bryan discuss their journey in discovering practices for releasing anger and how these practices have enhanced their lives and interpersonal relationships.
• 39:59 - Essential tools to integrate to start living a more regulated and grounded life.
• 46:06 - Embracing vulnerability as the leverage to start acknowledging your emotions and begin healing

Connect with Brooke Weinstein:

• Instagram: @brookeweinst
• Website: https://drbrookeweinstein.com/ 
• Podcast: https://drbrookeweinstein.com/thrive-podcast/ 

Connect with Bryan & Tait:

• Website: bryanreeves.com 
• Instagram: @bryanreevesinsight / @taitarend08
• Email: [email protected] / [email protected] 

“Grief sculpts our souls and crafts our characters into the men that we're supposed to be.” — Joshua Wenner

Today on Men, This Way:

• 03:22 – The pervasive presence of grief in men's lives
• 04:02 – Why men resist talking about grief
• 05:02 – Understanding grief from birth and navigating change
• 06:33 – Men resisting grief and its impact on growth
• 09:25 – Joshua’s personal encounters with grief
• 13:22 – Coping mechanisms: Achievement, avoidance, and commitment to grief work
• 15:19 – Interviewing grief experts and understanding duality
• 17:54 – Accepting and facing grief
• 19:29 – Transformation through grief and men's retreats
• 20:12 – Training first responders and high achievers on grief
• 23:07 – Strategies for dealing with grief and family dynamics
• 25:40 – Overlooked types of grief in men’s lives
• 28:33 – The impact of unmetabolized grief
• 32:12 – Learning to be present with oneself through grief work
• 34:21 – Willingness to lose and its impact on relationships
• 37:14 – Developing the skill of grief and nervous system regulation
• 39:52 – Practical methods for daily nervous system regulation
• 43:39 – Somatic practices for moving grief through the body
• 48:39 – The CPR method: Conscious Awareness, Pause, Regulation
• 53:02 – Navigating conflicts with regulation and awareness
• 56:24 – Co-regulating in relationships
• 59:31 – Advice for men struggling with grief
• 1:03:01 – The importance of forgiveness in the grief journey

Connect with Joshua Wenner:

• Instagram: @joshuamichaelwenner
• Website: joshuawenner.com
• Emotional Resilience Training (ERT) for learning more about the nervous system

Connect with Bryan & Tait:

• Website: bryanreeves.com 
• Instagram: @bryanreevesinsight / @taitarend08
• Email: [email protected] / [email protected] 

“Understanding our attachment styles and how they influence our relationships can transform the way we connect with others. It's not about reaching a perfect state of secure attachment but about attuning to our own needs and those of our partners. This journey is a lifelong process of learning, growing, and healing together.” — Silvy Khoucasian

Today on Men, This Way:

• 5:05 – Silvy's inspiration for exploring attachment styles during her psychology studies
• 6:15 – The attachment theory and how childhood experiences with caregivers shape adult relationships
• 7:42 – The different attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful avoidant
• 10:10 – Personal experiences and realizations around attachment styles in dating and relationships
• 12:32 – How attachment styles manifest in relationships and the importance of awareness
• 15:04 – Tools and practices for identifying your attachment style
• 18:34 – The role of family systems and childhood responsibilities in developing attachment patterns
• 21:12 – Healing and developing secure attachment through relationships and self-awareness
• 24:08 – The importance of creating agreements and consistency in relationships for healing
• 27:20 – How different attachment styles magnetize towards each other and the opportunities for healing
• 29:02 – The balance between independence and interdependence in relationships
• 31:32 – The gifts and challenges of each attachment style and finding balance
• 35:13 – The importance of direct communication and creating secure functioning patterns in relationships
• 39:21 – Brian and Silvy's personal journey and the strategies they use to support each other's needs
• 44:16 – The long-term commitment to relationship growth and healing over years
• 47:45 – The role of professional support in working through attachment patterns

Connect with Silvy Khoucasian:

• Website: silvykhoucasian.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/silvykhoucasian/ 

Connect with Bryan & Tait:

• Website: bryanreeves.com 
• Instagram: @bryanreevesinsight / @taitarend08
• Email: [email protected] / [email protected] 

This show is produced by Synchro Social

“The path to an unbreakable connection is the commitment to staying in partnership, no matter what.” — Bryan Reeves

Today on Men, This Way:

• 2:24 – The emotional investment people have in relationships
• 3:08 – Exploring the real reasons behind conflicts in relationships
• 4:17 – The concept of “crisis of connection” in relationships
• 5:38 – Ending unnecessary conflict as a bridge to connection
• 6:42 – The importance of support in men’s groups
• 19:55 – Weekly connection rituals with family
• 23:27 – Reflecting on personal experiences of disconnection and reconnection
• 27:30 – The role of men’s emotional vulnerability in relationships
• 34:23 – The impact of small daily connection rituals
• 42:24 – What is the difference between connection and unbreakable connection
• 45:14 – Key elements of building an unbreakable connection
• 47:15 – The significance of praise and gratitude in relationships
• 50:17 – The power of presence and intentionality in relationships
• 59:15 – Addressing the challenge of one partner being more growth-oriented than the other
• 1:03:30 – The distinction between requests and requirements in relationships
• 1:14:25 – Leaning into relationship challenges and the role of support

Connect with Bryan & Tait:

• Website: bryanreeves.com 
• Instagram: @bryanreevesinsight / @taitarend08
• Email: [email protected] / [email protected]