My New Life

There is a lot of advice out there for parents. Not only are parenting books multiplying in number, they are increasing in volume. And there is certainly no shortage of online resources. Instagram now has so many parenting experts you can get an almost endless scroll of advice.

The abundance of information can be helpful on the one hand. But it can also lead us to think we are not doing enough, making it is easy to slip into over-parenting. This hands-on approach is sometimes referred to as intensive parenting, and its benefits (to both parent and child) are up for debate.

For a closer look at intensive parenting and how we can recognize it in ourselves, Jessica Rolph speaks with Developmental Psychologist Dr. Holly Schiffrin. She discusses all-important parenting skills like how to stand back and allow your child to experience natural consequences.

Key Takeaways:

[1:20] Holly co-authored a study called Insight into the Parenthood Paradox: Mental Health Outcomes Of Intensive Mothering. What was her objective in studying this style of parenting?

[4:55] Is motherhood supposed to be joyful at every turn?

[5:18] The study compared moms working in the home versus moms who also work outside the home.

[6:16] Parents who stay at home with their kids often go without the kind of recognition customary in paying jobs.

[6:53] The research suggests that mothers who rated particularly high on the idea of essentialism, that mothers are the essential parent, were less satisfied with their lives.

[8:00] Holly discusses the outcomes she's observed in the children of intensive parents.

[9:56] What is the difference between intentional and intensive parenting?

[11:02] Has the pandemic made parents more or less intensive?

[12:35] What are the factors driving this intensive parenting approach?

[15:20] Holly talks about parental unhappiness.

[16:15] How does parenting in America compare to parenting in other cultures?

[17:15] Holly offers advice for parents of babies and toddlers.

[20:25] Jessica shares the highlights of her conversation with Dr. Holly Schiffrin.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Whether it is cleaning up the toys, setting the table, or sorting laundry, involving your toddler with chores around the house is almost always an exercise in patience. And it most certainly is not going to produce impeccable results, but results are not the goal here. Developing a habit of helpfulness and a sense of autonomy is what we parents are after.

Jessica Rolph welcomes Behavioral Specialist and Parent Coach Jeanna Twomey to today's episode to explain how to best get your toddler involved in the dirty work. Tune in to hear strategies that will leave your child feeling like an important contributor to the household. Jeanna provides personalized support to parents through text, phone and video. She can be found at JeannaTwomeyParenting.com.

Key Takeaways:

[1:29] Why should we go to the trouble of getting our toddlers to help around the house?

[2:57] Why Jessica likes the terms "contribution" and "responsibility" more than "chores".

[3:43] When is a good age to introduce the concept of contribution?

[4:27] Self-help skills are a great place to start.

[4:59] What can you do if your toddler refuses to help?

[7:08] Constructive ways to respond to your child's efforts.

[9:01] Helpful ways to respond to mistakes.

[10:55] Jeanna gives specific examples of some good contributions to practice with your toddler.

[12:38] Jeanne shares her perspective on sticker charts.

[14:26] What are some motivating alternatives to rewards?

[16:03] Jeanna extends her advice to parents who feel like chores are just another box to check in an already overwhelming to-do list.

[18:18] Jessica sums up the conversation with her take aways.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

This holiday season is different. For many of you, it is family traditions that make this time of year significant and memorable. But in 2020, reuniting with extended family is not possible for everyone. It feels sad and lonely. Jessica Rolph is joined today by Dr. Zelana Montminy to help propel us into the holidays with a little more cheer.

Dr. Zelana is a renowned behavioral scientist and positive psychologist, delivering a fresh perspective rooted in science. She is the author of 21 Days to Resilience: How to Transcend the Daily Grind, Deal with the Tough Stuff, and Discover Your Strongest Self.

Key Takeaways:

[1:17] Dr. Zelana defines resilience.

[3:07] Zelana shares the top things resilient people do to get through hard times.

[4:50] How can we cultivate gratitude in our children?

[5:18] Modeling resilience for our toddlers.

[9:02] Strategies to help our children when they feel frustrated without solving their struggle for them.

[11:14] Helping your child deal with discomfort.

[14:19] How best to deal with judgement from parents and in-laws who might not agree with your parenting style.

[17:50] Zelana talks about the impact of the pandemic on babies and toddlers in the longer term.

[21:11] Consider ways to create meaningful memories this holiday season that cost nothing.

[22:30] Zelana shares one pandemic practice that will serve her in the long term.

[25:39] Jessica offers 3 takeaways from her conversation with Dr. Zelana.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

21 Days to Resilience: How to Transcend the Daily Grind, Deal with the Tough Stuff, and Discover Your Strongest Self, Dr. Zelana Montminy

Opinions vary wildly when it comes to managing tantrums. From waiting out the storm, to taking a hard line. Whatever you do, be consistent! With so much advice, it's easy to understand why parents panic when the tears start flying.

Jessica Rolph, your host, welcomes Positive Discipline Coach Jody Malterre, a master at bringing calm to every situation. Jody is a Montessori teacher trainer at Westminster College with over 30 years experience in Montessori education. She also sits on the board of the Positive Discipline Association.

Key Takeaways:

[1:39] What is Positive Parenting?

[3:02] Why do toddlers have tantrums?

[5:05] Why empathy works wonders — for children and adults.

[6:50] Other strategies to help your toddler move beyond the tantrum.

[9:52] How do you give your toddler a sense agency in their world?

[14:30] Jody shares tips for toddlers who stall with bedtime.

[16:00] Why routine and tools like bedtime cards work so well.

[18:08] Jody talks more broadly about positive discipline and how to shift into a positive discipline mindset.

[19:45] Jessica shares the highlights of a valuable conversation with Jody.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Listen to Peaceful Parenting: Dealing with Tantrums

The Lovevery Helper Play Kit with Routine Cards

Few milestones in a baby's life are more memorable than their first steps. It feels like a major accomplishment — for baby and parent! But what comes after those first steps varies greatly from child to child, something Dr. Giselle Tadros constantly reminds her patients. She's a pediatric physical therapist, founder of In-Home Pediatric Physical Therapy, and the guest on today's episode of My New Life.

Giselle discusses how long it takes most babies to switch from crawling to walking as their primary mode of locomotion. Got lots of gear to help your kid with that transition? If so, you're in good company. But you may be surprised to learn that baby walkers are not legal in many countries outside of the US!

Key Takeaways:

[1:40] What is the most common reason a parent of a toddler goes to a physical therapist for help?

[2:42] What does Giselle consider late for walking? When should a parent seek help?

[3:52] What can parents do to help their children develop the core strength needed to be physically active toddlers?

[6:10] What do jumpers do for children?

[7:27] Giselle explains why she promotes baby wearing.

[8:35] What are signs of core weakness in a child?

[10:03] Why some children need support with balance.

[10:43] How long does it take for a child to become good at walking?

[12:04] What are some ways to encourage muscle development in toddlers in a natural way so that they become really active kids?

[13:35] What are some ways to replicate outdoor play inside?

[14:40] Giselle talks about what she likes to see in an 18-month-old toddler in terms of gross motor skills.

[15:25] Giselle discusses the milestones of a typical two year old, from a gross motor development perspective.

[17:46] Jessica reviews the highlights of her conversation with Dr. Giselle Tadros.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

In-Home Pediatric Physical Therapy

#inhomepediatricpt on Instagram

Montessori parents can give the impression that they do it all: organized home, tidy bedrooms, carefully ordered trays and activities. Sometimes it seems like Montessori sets the bar really high — so high that it feels unattainable for a busy parent.

My New Life host Jessica Rolph speaks with Kylie D'Alton, an Australian mom that has gone a long way toward making Montessori principles more accessible. Kylie is the author of the popular blog How We Montessori, and in today's episode, she shares valuable tips on how to bring Montessori into our homes in ways that don't involve accumulating more stuff.

Key Takeaways:

[1:06] Thinking like a Montessori parent.

[2:50] The benefits of observing and allowing children to experience something for themselves over correcting or teaching.

[4:51] Kylie explains how she introduces the real before the abstract and the benefits to your toddler's development.

[6:35] What sort of things does Kylie involve her toddler in?

[10:25] How did Kylie take the Montessori approach to potty training?

[13:26] Kylie shares some of her favorite memories of Montessori learning at home.

[14:43] Jessica reviews the highlights of her conversation with Kylie.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

How We Montessori

Most parents would not describe living with a toddler during Covid as peaceful, but there are ways to invite more calm into your home and limit the shouting. Host Jessica Rolph welcomes Psychologist Dr. Laura Markham to today's episode. In her work as a coach with thousands of parents all over the world, Dr. Laura describes her approach as "peaceful parenting". Who doesn't want more of that? Learn why responding to tantrums with empathy can be a game changer.

Dr. Laura is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling and Start Connecting, Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How To Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life, and now her latest book, The Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook: Using mindfulness and connection to raise resilient, joyful children and rediscover your love of parenting.

Key Takeaways:

[1:35] How to be a peaceful parent during tantrums.

[4:32] Teach your toddler that big feelings are not dangerous; show them they are safe.

[5:45] How to let go of your concerns about being judged by others when your child is having a tantrum.

[8:25] What does a peaceful parent do when a toddler hits?

[12:12] When your child gets aggressive, demonstrate how to express feelings in a more acceptable way.

[12:47] Dr. Laura explains why rough housing leads to the release of oxytocin.

[14:46] Best practices for sharing peaceful parenting concepts with a spouse or other caregiver.

[17:27] Why empathy is a cornerstone for peaceful parenting.

[19:10] Why it's important to acknowledge your child's behavior as developmentally normal and realize this too shall pass.

[20:11] Jessica revisits the highlights of her conversation with Dr. Laura.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Learn more about Dr. Laura at AhaParenting.com

Babies are born wondering. They have to piece together the world around them by gathering information, and they do this by observing, experimenting, and asking questions. In this way, children are like little scientists. If you have a toddler in the house, there's no shortage of questions in your daily conversations. But is it a two-way street? How many questions are you asking your toddler?

Jessica Rolph welcomes Dr. Sarah Lytle to today's episode. She is the Director of Outreach and Education at the Institute for Learning & Brain Sciences (I-LABS) at the University of Washington. She says parents have a critical role to play in promoting early learning and STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math). And this starts with asking questions of your toddler.

Key Takeaways:

[1:26] What does STEM learning look like for toddlers?

[2:42] Early math skills are a strong predictor of later school achievement. Does Sarah's research support that finding?

[3:49] How do you make math part of the every-day with your toddler?

[5:06] Guided play versus instructing.

[7:52] The power of narration for preverbal children, as well as for toddlers.

[9:06] Sarah gives examples of how parents can shift from a narrative style to an inquisitive one: Why do you suppose birds live in trees?

[11:50] Sarah explains the scientific concepts children are learning while playing with water. She models some questions parents can ask their children while they are splashing around.

[14:35] We tend to associate technology with screens, but what kind of technology learning is Sarah promoting at I-LABS that is screen-free?

[15:55] What kind of tools can support spatial awareness?

[17:53] Sarah offers her advice for parents around block play and suggests how parents can really get engaged and help their children discover the joy of learning through blocks.

[19:09] Women continue to be under-represented in STEM fields. Sarah explains how to encourage little girls to have positive experiences in STEM from an early age.

[20:46] What did Sarah's parents do to get her excited about science?

[21:32] What other activities can we do with our toddlers that really bring math, science and engineering to the forefront?

[23:49] Jessica summarizes the key takeaways from their conversation.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Learn more about I-LABS

With preschools and daycares in transition and case counts fluctuating, COVID has given parents plenty to worry about. One prominent concern among parents stems from a lack of socialization. None of us are socializing much, but given all the information out there suggesting socialization with other children is important, parents are particularly worried about their children not interacting with peers.

In this episode, we look at how toddlers socialize and how we, as adults, can help them build those skills at home. Jessica Rolph, your host, is joined by Nekole Eaton, a Pediatric Occupational Therapist specializing in child development. You can find her at Kids OT Help on YouTube, where she has built an audience of almost 90,000 subscribers.

Key Takeaways:

[1:22] What kind of socialization most benefits children at a young age?

[3:50] How can parents simulate foundational socialization with their children at home?

[5:02] What can parents do to impart the lessons that come from disagreements when the playgrounds are closed?

[6:11] Is it the same to Zoom a grandparent as it is to watch a show or to play a game?

[8:48] Children can effectively learn basic social skills through caregivers, parents, grandparents, and aunts.

[9:56] Nekole shares how she is socializing her son.

[12:01] On some days, just holding it together during these challenging times is enough.

[14:40] Jessica summarizes the takeaways from her conversation with Nekole.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Kids OT Help on YouTube

Few topics will spark debate among parents more readily than screen time. It's so controversial! Screens are everywhere. And avoiding them can feel like the domain of super-human parents. Learn some tips to cut down on screens from Dr. Screen-Free Mom: Meghan Owenz. She runs a website, Screen-Free Parenting, with over 27,000 active participants. She is also an Assistant Teaching Professor at Penn State University.

Key Takeaways:

[1:46] What does screen-free look like for Meghan's family?

[2:24] Meghan shares alternatives for keeping kids engaged and busy.

[3:23] Use her S.P.O.I.L. system to cut down on screen time.

[4:38] How can independent play be achieved so parents can have a break too?

[6:37] Rotate favorite toys in and out of special baskets so that they feel fresh.

[8:18] Does screen-free mean more stuff? There are ways around it: Something as simple as a scarf can offer miles of road-trip diversion.

[9:37] What does the science tell us about the effects of screen time on kids?

[11:17] Meghan shares research findings on attention.

[12:13] Meghan talks about how language is impacted by screens.

[14:00] What about connecting with grandparents or friends over Zoom or FaceTime?

[16:13] How does Meghan help parents wean their children from screens?

[18:08] What does becoming screen-free look like?

[19:38] How can a parent enforce a screen-free approach? She provides advice around changing rules with a toddler, as well as older children.

[22:45] Jessica provides a recap of an eye-opening conversation with Dr. Meghan Owenz.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Screen-Free Parenting