My New Life

Host Jessica Rolph welcomes Certified Pediatric Sleep Specialist Lauren Heffernan to the second episode of our new season, Perspectives. In this season, you'll hear curated perspectives on topics like sleep, feeding, and parenting philosophies, so you can make informed choices for your family.

It is rare to find a new parent who doesn't wish for more hours of sleep; long nights seem to be part of the bargain. When those long nights start dragging on, it can feel like sleep training is the only way out. Lauren proposes a different approach. She is the founder of Isla Grace: Attachment-Focused Sleep. She prefers to avoid separation and the cry-it-out method of sleep training.

Key Takeaways:

[1:31] Lauren speaks about her own experience sleep training.

[3:56] She explains how that experience informs her practice as a sleep consultant.

[6:35] Supporting your babies' emotions when you are sleep deprived is challenging.

[8:20] Why it's difficult for parents to sit with those big emotions from their child.

[9:26] Lauren answers a question from a listener: My baby only falls asleep when I breastfeed him and wakes up throughout the night for more breastfeeding; how can I stop this without the cry-it-out approach?

[12:48] What happens when night weaning gets derailed.

[13:38] Bed-sharing and how to practice it safely.

[16:08] Lauren explains "bridging" between crib and toddler bed.

[17:04] How to reframe inconsistent napping.

[19:45] If you are getting extremely frustrated and exhausted, try a shifting pattern or ask for someone to support you.

[21:06] Lauren's bottom-line advice to sleep-deprived parents.

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Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Isla Grace: Attachment Focused Sleep

Sleep, or the lack of it, is probably the most discussed topic among parents of newborns. And while sleepless nights are widely accepted as just part of the bargain of bringing a new life into the world, we are not always prepared for the sleepless nights to drag into years. Night wakings, bedtime routines that seem to go on and on, skipped naps, sleep regressions, musical beds, and crib to bed transitions — it is truly exhausting!

In today's episode, host Jessica Rolph is joined by Lauren Lappen, a certified sleep consultant and co-founder of Wee Sleep Solutions, who offers practical advice on toddler sleep.

Key Takeaways:

[1:38] How do you get a toddler to bed and keep them there?

[2:45] The benefits of using routine cards during bedtime.

[4:04] Lauren's tips on how to avoid a battle of wills with your toddler.

[5:10] How to respond when your toddler wakes in the middle of the night, asking for you.

[6:35] Why "musical beds" aren't ideal for anyone; toddlers like to wake up in the same bed where they fell asleep.

[9:18] What if the wakings are a function of your child being unwell?

[10:26] Lauren talks about the signs a baby is ready to move to a toddler bed, and gives suggestions for types of beds to use.

[13:55] Considering easy access to the potty.

[17:22] Suggestions for specific situations, like if you've got a new baby coming and you need to make room, or if your child is a climber and might exit the crib.

[20:16] How critical are night feedings to toddlers?

[22:38] How to wean a toddler from that night feeding.

[24:23] What to do about pacifiers. Do they stay or do they go?

[27:06] Jessica gives some highlights of her conversation with Lauren.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

This week, we are revisiting a listener favorite from September, 2020, as we prepare the lineup for our upcoming season: Perspectives. Starting April 21, you'll hear perspectives from experts on sleep, eating, and parenting philosophies, among other topics, so you can make informed choices for your family.

Few topics will spark debate among parents more readily than screen time. It's so controversial! Screens are everywhere. And avoiding them can feel like the domain of super-human parents. Learn some tips to cut down on screens from Dr. Screen-Free Mom: Meghan Owenz. She runs a website, Screen-Free Parenting, with over 27,000 active participants. She is also an Assistant Teaching Professor at Penn State University.

Key Takeaways:

[1:46] What does screen-free look like for Meghan's family?

[2:24] Meghan shares her alternatives for keeping kids engaged and busy.

[3:23] Use her S.P.O.I.L. system to cut down on screen time.

[4:38] How can independent play be achieved so parents can have a break too?

[6:37] Rotate favorite toys in and out of special baskets so that they feel fresh.

[8:18] Does screen-free mean more stuff? There are ways around it: Something as simple as a scarf can offer miles of road-trip diversion.

[9:37] What does the science tell us about the effects of screen time on kids?

[11:17] Meghan shares research findings on attention.

[12:13] Meghan talks about how language is impacted by screens.

[14:00] What about connecting with grandparents or friends over Zoom or FaceTime?

[16:13] How does Meghan help parents wean their children from screens?

[18:08] What does becoming screen-free look like?

[19:38] How can a parent enforce a screen-free approach? She provides advice around changing rules with a toddler, as well as older children.

[22:45] Jessica provides a recap of an eye-opening conversation with Dr. Meghan Owenz.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Screen-Free Parenting

This week, we are revisiting a listener favorite from June 17, 2020, as we prepare the lineup for our upcoming season: Perspectives. Starting April 21, you'll hear perspectives from experts on sleep, eating, and parenting philosophies, among other topics, so you can make informed choices for your family.

Talk to any toddler for more than a couple of minutes, and you will be easily reminded of how thirsty they are for knowledge and information. While humans are continuously learning, we are born with something of an empty canvas, and it's the early experiences that we encounter as babies that form the brain architecture to support that learning.

At a birthing class, Jessica Rolph was introduced to a book that helped her put the science of early learning into action with her own baby and ultimately inspired her to create Lovevery. This book was written by Dr. William H. Staso, the guest on today's episode.

Will is a psychologist who focuses on the assessment of autism in children under 3 years old. In 1999, he published "Neural Foundations: What Stimulation Your Baby Needs to Become Smart," a book about the experiences that form the early architecture of the brain. In it, he shares multiple ideas for learning activities and ways to engage with your baby.

Key Takeaways:

[2:55] Dr. Will Staso explains what happens on a neurological level during the first 3 years of life.

[4:52] The importance of a baby's environment to when it comes to wiring neurons.

[6:41] What parents can do to promote language acquisition.

[8:58] Will explains ways to stimulate your baby's brain in place of flashing, noisy toys.

[10:06] Will talks about experienced-based activities.

[11:36] What does the perfect learning environment for a baby look like?

[14:10] The role of the adult and how to interact with your baby.

[15:55] Discovery learning requires non-restrictive parenting.

[17:49] Awareness of location and quantities prepare your child for letters and numbers later on.

[18:25] Learning sequences and making predictions.

[19:52] Nature or nurture?

[20:35] What does smartness really look like?

[21:45] Why is one brain more efficient than another?

[21:59] Will sums up his advice to parents.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Toddlers love words. This enthusiasm helps them grow their spoken words from just a few at age one, to 1,000 or even 2,000 by age three. Given how receptive young children are to new sounds and ways to use them, it is not surprising that toddlers can pick up second languages easily. Research also suggests that brain connections multiply when babies are exposed to new languages. Parents have caught on, and demand for bilingual products and preschools is at an all-time high.

While experts agree on the benefits of exposing kids to multiple languages, the best means of doing so is up for debate. On today's episode, Host Jessica Rolph is joined by Dr. Veronica Fernandez, a developmental and child psychologist, with tips on how to best approach bilingualism in the home.

Key Takeaways:

[1:35] Veronica talks about the benefits of raising a bilingual child and shares the reasons why she is choosing to raise her daughter, Isla, with two languages.

[3:02] How can parents who only speak one language at home best lay a strong foundation for bilingualism at home?

[5:05] Veronica discusses the advantages and disadvantages of various approaches to bilingualism.

[6:57] Veronica speaks about the challenges of raising Isla as bilingual.

[8:00] How important is immersion? Do kids benefit from occasional exposure to a second language, or do they need to have some component of an immersive experience?

[8:50] Veronica debunks some myths about bilingualism, including the unfounded concern that learning another language may cause your child to have a speech delay.

[11:13] What if your child is using two languages within one sentence?

[12:25] What about those talking books and toys that switch from one language to another? How effective are they?

[14:21] Toddlers generally experience a language explosion around 18 months to 2 years; should parents expect the same of a bilingual baby?

[15:07] Should a parent drop a language if a child has a perceived delay?

[16:01] Is there an optimal age to introduce a second language?

[16:48] Veronica offers a few tools to teach the target language.

[18:01] If a child is reluctant to speak the second language, what can be done to encourage them?

[19:35] Veronica shares tips for parents who are monolingual and want to introduce their babies to another language, as well as for bilingual parents who are also on the journey to bilingualism with their children.

[21:40] Jessica reviews the highlights of her conversation with Veronica.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Baby-led weaning expert Jenny Best, founder of Solid Starts, gives us a reassuring perspective on the recent congressional report that highlighted toxic metals in baby foods.

Baby's first words — few milestones are met with more emotion from the adults in the room! But what constitutes a first word and when should parents be expecting to hear them? Join Host Jessica Rolph and Speech Language Pathologist Gopika Kamdar for a look at some common indicators of language development.

On the table for discussion is research from the '90s suggesting the volume of words spoken to infants is paramount to speech and language development, as compared with more recent research that emphasizes the importance of serve-and-return, the turn-taking that comes naturally to adults. So which is it? As with most topics we cover, we think you'll find the answers reassuring.

Key Takeaways:

[1:26] Gopika talks about the benefits of narration and serve-and-return as approaches to promote language development.

[4:07] Gopika explains the difference between receptive language and expressive language.

[5:11] When do most children say their first words?

[6:52] When should we worry? When do you start to see a need for intervention?

[9:06] What are some language milestones for a 24-month-old?

[11:28] What are markers of a speech delay if a child isn't meeting the average ranges?

[13:51] Myth or truth: Does pacifier use cause speech delays?

[16:07] Jessica shares her top three takeaways.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Children's questions about physical differences often catch us off guard. Parents worry about getting the response wrong, making the situation tense. But TV host and co-founder of ByUs Box, Nicole Stamp, says there's a better approach.

On today's episode with host Jessica Rolph, Nicole offers ways of thinking about these encounters from an equity perspective, ensuring everyone comes away from the interaction having had a positive experience. Equally important is the practice of building conversations about inclusion into the every day. After all, these are the conversations — which continue throughout a child's life — that help our kids to make sense of the world.

Key Takeaways:

[1:45] We teach children to categorize from a young age by encouraging them to distinguish patterns, colors, and shapes. How does this categorization connect to the research on how toddlers are categorizing people?

[5:15] If a 2 or 3 year old walks up to somebody with a mobility device full of questions, how should a parent respond?

[6:20] Nicole explains the difference between diversity and equity.

[7:15] What does inclusion really mean?

[8:55] How can you guide a conversation with a child interested in another child with a physical difference?

[11:45] What kind of proactive steps can parents take to reinforce equity and inclusion?

[17:12] Nicole explains why being "color blind" does not help create the equitable society that we strive for.

[21:30] If a parent avoids conversations about race or other differences among people, their child is picking up on that message in non-verbal ways.

[23:33] Jessica shares her takeaways from a powerful conversation.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

ByUs Box

We parents are a proud bunch. It's natural to shower our children with compliments when they achieve something. But when babies become toddlers, "Good job" often evolves to "You're so smart" or "What an amazing artist you are". Too much of this kind of feedback as our child get older, may not help them persist in the face of challenges.

Psychotherapist Susan Bordon of Kinspace joins host Jessica Rolph on today's episode to discuss ways to encourage intrinsic motivation. With a little bit of grit, kids are more motivated to try new things even when it's hard, and make efforts to pitch in without bribes or rewards.

Key Takeaways:

[1:41] What's wrong with telling your toddler: "You're so smart"?

[3:35] Susan talks about a recent research done by Carol Dweck, a psychologist at Stanford, who studied the effects of praise on grade-schoolers.

[5:25] How does this research apply to babies and toddlers?

[7:35] Why do parents praise children?

[9:20] What does it look like to be a parent who encourages intrinsic motivation?

[11:36] Praising the effort, rather than the outcome, takes practice.

[13:40] Susan talks about how and why not to interfere when a baby or a toddler is trying to achieve a challenging task.

[16:03] How the Montessori approach to demonstrating fits into the equation.

[17:54] Words that can help build self confidence in our children.

[19:35] How to introduce the concept of sharing to children.

[21:10] How early should parents adopt these practices to encourage intrinsic motivation in their children?

[23:40] Jessica reviews the highlights of her conversation with Susan.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Kinspace

Have a few parenting regrets from 2020? You are not alone. But does rehashing all that make you a better parent? Dr. Leesha Ellis-Cox would argue that mom guilt is a disservice to you and your children. If you could use a pep talk as we launch ourselves into a new year, this is the episode for you!

Dr. Leesha is a psychiatrist, mother to 3 children, and the author of "Ditch the Mommy Guilt: A Blueprint for the Modern Mommy".