My New Life

With opportunities for social interaction outside the family in short supply, many parents are stepping in as their child's primary playmate. Is one way of playing better than another? In this episode with Dr. Shimi Kang, host Jessica Rolph explores the benefits of unstructured play and looks at how play prepares us for adulthood.

Dr. Kang is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and best selling author. She is the author of The Dolphin Parent: A guide to Raise Healthy, Happy and Self-Motivated Kids, and her newest book The Tech Solution: Creating Healthy Habits for Kids Growing Up in a Digital World.

Key Takeaways:

[1:35] How did Shimi's upbringing inform her work around play?

[3:17] Why is play such an important piece of childhood from a research perspective?

[6:10] We are hardwired to play.

[6:36] Shimi discusses a fascinating study that involves rats — play is crucial to their survival.

[7:50] How does play help children adapt to stress and emotionally process new experiences?

[9:18] Shimi explains the difference between free play and guided play. Why might parents want to emphasize one approach over the other?

[11:19] Why toddlers benefit from unstructured activities.

[13:04] How can we tell if our toddlers are over-stimulated or overwhelmed?

[14:45] How much should parents get down on the floor with their children, or should parents play the role of observer?

[15:48] Do children need their parents to help scaffold pretend play?

[17:26] Tips for parents who want to give their children more freedom to play.

[18:55] The challenges of being mindful of technology and how it is impacting parents' relationships with their children.

[21:03] Jessica shares her takeaways from the conversation.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Learn more about Dr. Shimi Kang

The Dolphin Parent: A guide to Raise Healthy, Happy and Self-Motivated Kids, Dr. Shimi Kang

The Tech Solution: Creating Healthy Habits for Kids Growing Up in a Digital World, Dr. Shimi Kang

Girls in sparkly, pink dresses. Boys crazy about anything with wheels. Gender differences are everywhere. It’s difficult not to see those differences and then attribute them to something that is hardwired at birth, but neuroscience shows that there is very little difference between boys’ and girls’ brains.

Host Jessica Rolph welcomes Dr. Lise Eliot to this episode. She is a professor of neuroscience at the Chicago Medical School and the author of Pink Brain, Blue Brain: How Small Differences Grow Into Troublesome Gaps — and What We Can Do About It. Lise and Jessica explore ways we, as parents, can help break down damaging gender stereotypes.

Key Takeaways:

[1:12] How do boys’ and girls’ brains differ?

[3:22] How should we think about gender stereotypes? Why is it important to avoid them?

[4:30] Lise talks about the trends she has noticed in parenting both genders.

[5:53] Do mothers talk more to preschool-aged daughters than sons?

[9:17] Lise talks about how to raise children who can fully express themselves by not discouraging what could be considered gender-inappropriate play.

[11:23] What should parents do about a relative or caregiver who is showing disapproval of their boy’s interest in princesses and “girl stuff”? How can parents explain their philosophy to that person?

[13:11] Toddlers are naturally interested in categorizing; what is the reason for that?

[15:27] Lise talks about dressing our boys and girls.

[17:23 ] Jessica shares her takeaways from the conversation with Lise.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Pink Brain, Blue Brain: How Small Differences Grow Into Troublesome Gaps--and What We Can Do About It, Dr. Lise Eliot

What's Going on in There?: How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life, Dr. Lise Eliot

Babies' understanding of language comes well before their ability to speak. This also can be the case with their motor skills. Most babies will wave bye-bye before they can say the words. These are a few of the reasons signing works well for babies. It gives them another means of communicating. Plus research shows that babies who learn basic sign language develop pathways for communication sooner than they would otherwise.

Jessica Rolph welcomes Joy Jackson (@lyric_laughter_learning) to today's episode. She has been using sign language with her daughter from the time she was 4 months old. Joy shares why she chose to teach her sign language and how this has enhanced her communication skills.

Key Takeaways:

[1:16] Joy explains why she taught herself sign language in order to share it with her daughter.

[4:12] Joy started teaching Lyric sign language at 4 months old. When did Lyric start using signs?

[5:19] Is there any benefit to teaching sign language to verbal children?

[6:08] What are some common misconceptions about sign language and teaching babies sign language?

[8:15] Joy talks about the difference between baby sign language and ASL.

[9:29] If a parent is just going to use six or seven signs, what are some particularly useful ones?

[10:42] How many signs did Joy's baby have when she was 1 year old? What can parents expect?

[11:50] Is a baby who can sign considered bilingual?

[13:02] How and why to teach emotion signs.

[14:25] Some great reasons to invest the time necessary to teach our babies and young children sign language.

[16:43] Jessica's takeaways of today's show.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Joy's Instagram: @lyric_laughter_learning

Giving birth is one experience in your life you will never forget. There are so many emotions in the mix, both leading up to the birth, and on display during the birth!

Host Jessica Rolph met Leslie Schrock when she was in the process of publishing her book Bumpin': The Modern Guide to Pregnancy, which she wrote while she was pregnant with her first baby. Leslie does not consider herself a pregnancy guru, but instead a curious person who found trustworthy resources for pregnant women in short supply. She talked with all variety of experts in the process of writing her book and shares her findings on this episode.

Key Takeaways:

[1:34] What inspired Leslie to write her book about pregnancy?

[3:10] Leslie shares how it felt to be her own health advocate.

[5:58] What is the technical difference between a doula and a midwife? Why would you want one over the other? Does it make sense to have both?

[7:55] Does the participation of a doula or midwife preclude you from having a medicated birth?

[10:32] Where does a doctor fit into all of this?

[11:59] What goes into the decision to have an epidural or not? How to build a supportive birthing team and what to consider if you want to plan for an un-medicated birth.

[16:07] Leslie shares tools for feeling positive when going into labor.

[18:40] Leslie gives advice on how to best involve your birth partner.

[20:23] What is going on with the pelvic floor during pregnancy and birth? What can women do to make sure that it's healthy after birth?

[21:18] What is pelvic floor dysfunction?

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Bumpin': The Modern Guide to Pregnancy, Leslie Schrock

Bumpin.com

Host Jessica Rolph welcomes Rebecca Parlakian to this episode to talk about the power of touch between infants and parents.

Few moments are more tender in those first weeks of life than when your baby reaches out and takes your finger while in your arms. It's the all-important language of touch at work! Social connection is not the only connection at work in that moment; there are neural connections forming as your baby makes contact with that finger. In today's episode, Jessica and Rebecca examine the importance of touch for both baby and parent.

Rebecca Parlakian is a senior director program at Zero to Three, a national nonprofit organization that focuses on the healthy development of infants, toddlers, and families. Much of her work at Zero to Three is connected to the work of Dr. Andrew Meltzoff at the University of Washington Institute for Learning and Brain Sciences.

Key Takeaways:

[1:27] Rebecca talks about Dr. Meltzoff's research, and how physical touch helps to develop a baby's sense of self and other.

[3:03] When do babies know that they have hands?

[3:58] How important is skin-to-skin contact between a parent and a baby?

[5:32] Rebecca discusses how parents can incorporate touch after the hospital — with infants and toddlers.

[6:12] What is Rebecca's opinion of the research that indicates babies don't get the same benefit by being hugged by a friendly stranger as they do by a loved one?

[7:32] Is there any research that supports skin-to-skin contact after the hospital?

[9:09] What role can massage play in enhancing that bond between a parent and a child?

[11:10] The nine elements of temperament.

[12:34] Some children love to get their hands messy and other children have an aversion to touching things. What causes this range in sensory preferences?

[13:40] The characteristics of sensory-aversive and sensory-seeking children.

[15:02] Why is sensory play important for a child's development

[16:25] Why is mouthing natural and important?

[18:03] Is sucking a thumb or finger positive for a baby's development?

[20:01] What is the earliest memory of touch?

[21:15] Jessica shares the highlights of her conversation with Rebecca.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

ZERO TO THREE

Talk to any toddler for more than a couple of minutes, and you will be easily reminded of how thirsty they are for knowledge and information. While humans are continuously learning, we are born with something of an empty canvas and it's the early experiences that we encounter as babies that form the brain architecture to support that learning.

At a birthing class, Jessica Rolph was introduced to a book that helped her put the science of early learning into action with her own baby and ultimately inspired her to create Lovevery. This book was written by Dr. William H. Staso, the guest on today's episode.

Will is a psychologist who focuses on the assessment of autism in children under 3 years old. In 1999, he published "Neural Foundations: What Stimulation Your Baby Needs to Become Smart," a book about the experiences that form the early architecture of the brain. In it, he shares multiple ideas for learning activities and ways to engage with your baby.

Key Takeaways:

[2:55] Dr. Will Staso explains what happens on a neurological level during the first 3 years of life.

[4:52] The importance of a baby's environment to when it comes to wiring neurons.

[6:41] What parents can do to promote language acquisition.

[8:58] Will explains ways to stimulate your baby's brain in place of flashing, noisy toys.

[10:06] Will talks about experienced-based activities.

[11:36] What does the perfect learning environment for a baby look like?

[14:10] The role of the adult and how to interact with your baby.

[15:55] Discovery learning requires non-restrictive parenting.

[17:49] Awareness of location and quantities prepare your child for letters and numbers later on.

[18:25] Learning sequences and making predictions.

[19:52] Nature or nurture?

[20:35] What does smartness really look like?

[21:45] Why is one brain more efficient than another?

[21:59] Will sums up his advice to parents.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

"Neural Foundations: What Stimulation Your Baby Needs to Become Smart" Dr. William H. Staso. To get a free copy of the book, please DM Jessica Rolph on Instagram.

Ever get the feeling like you are babbling more than your baby? It turns out that going gaga over your baby actually serves a purpose. It helps them with language acquisition! Their brains are taking in loads of information from these back-and-forth interactions.

Jessica Rolph welcomes Dr. Kathy Hirsh-Pasek to this episode to explore the characteristics of this early communication. Kathy is a professor in psychology at Temple University and a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution. She is also co-author of Becoming Brilliant: What Science Tells Us About Raising Successful Children.

Key Takeaways:

[1:12] How can a parent contribute to the building of communication skills?

[2:30] Remember to pause and create space for your baby to respond.

[3:24] Kathy talks about infant-directed speech.

[5:30] The back-and-forth conversation with a baby might be more important than we thought.

[6:30] Technology sometimes gets in the way of opportunities to communicate with our babies.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Becoming Brilliant: What Science Tells Us About Raising Successful Children

Laundry, diapering, feeding, laundry... this is the work of a new parent, and much of it can feel rather tedious. Unfortunately, boredom can sometimes slip into darker feelings of disconnection.

In this episode, Jessica Rolph is accompanied by Erica Komisar, who suggests that one way to stay engaged is to take an interest in your baby's brain development. Erica Komisar is a psychoanalyst and parent coach based out of New York City.

Key Takeaways:

[1:26] Erica Komisar talks about her clinical work with patients who are experiencing boredom.

[3:05] Interest in child development as a possible solution for a parent's boredom.

[4:45] Erica explains how to ignite a sense of wonder around your baby's development.

[6:35] Recognizing the immense value of nurturing your baby.

[7:14] Possible cues of postpartum depression.

[8:30] Skin-to-skin contact lays the foundation for emotional security.

[9:16] Breast feeding, in light of the skin-to-skin contact, has neurological benefits. If you are bottle feeding, consider taking off your shirt.

[12:18] Advice to mothers who have been separated from their babies.

[14:05] Tips to spark the connection between you and your baby.

[14:59] Mirroring your baby is about reflecting how your baby feels; as a result, your baby feels understood.

[16:53] The perils of idealizing parenthood.

[19:11] Does COVID-19 bring more risk of depression?

[20:45] When is the best time to seek professional health?

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Don't dismiss a new mom's boredom. It could be a sign of something more serious. The Washington Post, Erica Komisar

Jessica Rolph welcomes Sami Carrick to this episode to talk about that magical moment of connection with our baby: story time. And all those who have read a book to an infant know that it doesn't always go as planned! We know how important it is to read to our babies, but what should we do if they are crawling out of our laps, crazily flipping pages, or just plain not interested in what's on the page?

Sami shares how teaching literacy can take lots of forms. She is a certified reading specialist and the mom behind Literacy for Littles.

Key Takeaways:

[1:30] Reading to a newborn: Sami explains how this might look.

[2:34] Position your newborn baby so they can see your facial expressions while you are reading.

[3:04] Consider incorporating a book at nap time and bedtime to help create predictability for your baby.

[3:31] When to introduce sensory books to babies.

[4:26] Tips to engage your baby in reading when they don't seem to be able to stop moving or are uninterested.

[6:28] Sami shares practical tips to help a child learn how to turn the pages.

[8:01] The benefits of adding rubber bands to the pages.

[8:48] How to incorporate reading in the daily routine outside of bedtime.

[10:24] The importance of using a dramatic, animated voice while reading to your baby.

[11:50] Tips for parents to teach literacy early on.

[13:54] Sami explains why learning letter sounds is more important than being able to recite the ABCs.

[16:22] The benefits of incorporating sign language into a child's day.

Mentioned in this episode:

Literacy for Littles

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

Parenting is a time of so much change for you and your baby, a little reliable information can go a long way towards making this new life, a good life.

Jessica Rolph is your host and she is joined by Rachel Coley in this episode of My New Life, a Lovevery podcast, to discuss the common anxiety parents share about their children reaching milestones and comparing to other children's progress. Does it help? Does it really matter?

Rachel Coley is a Pediatric Occupational Therapist and the mom behind a super informative website called CanDo Kiddo. Rachel prefers to focus on what she calls "mini-milestones", which are all the tiny steps a baby takes to reach their objective. Tune in to learn what to do if your baby doesn't like tummy time, how baby containers are getting in the way of natural development, and why the floor is the best place for your baby to be.

Key Takeaways:

[2:51] Technology is shaping what kind of toys we are putting in front of our babies.

[4:22] Why do babies need to be on the floor?

[6:25] Is swaddling beneficial for a baby?

[7:14] Tummy time is the baby's first opportunity to interact with gravity.

[11:15] Thinking about tummy time as a position for play is really helpful.

[13:54] Milestone anxiety vs staying curious about mini-milestones.

[15:30] How parents can help babies build the strength necessary to roll over.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Lovevery.com

CanDo Kiddo