When the Narcissist hears you have moved on in your life post discard or after leaving a narcissist, that situation represents a new trigger to hoover in order to maintain control. The alternative to benefitting from the narcissist’s targets new gained success in life, is to attempt to sabotage it, either tactics are simply about controlling the narrative. Narcissistic supply is obtained once control is maintained or reasserted.

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The self referencing covert narcissist makes special occasions about themselves always in order to maintain their sense of control and entitlement. Usually they use drama, triangulation and manipulation to take away from your enjoyment of previously joyous occasions. This is a behaviour pattern related to special occasions that is another step towards deciding if a person is displaying narcissistic tendencies.

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https://youtu.be/lu1CFa9Im9w

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What criteria do narcissists use when choosing a new intimate partner or #new supply source? The narcissist’s circumstances, plus ease of control, marry into their decision making process in deciding whether they choose you or someone else, to become their next primary source of narcissistic supply. Listed are 10 important attributes a covert narcissist will search for in a new partner to determine their final choice.

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https://youtu.be/OnXEiDhNmDU

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#How to find out if they Are a narcissist? Questions to ask to see if the person you are having a relationship with is a toxic narcissist NPD. Narcissistic people struggle to answer these 7 questions easily, and, their answers reveal a lot, to the observant listener, as to how their potential partner is thinking and, does think about relationships in general. If you are dealing with a grandiose narcissist these questions will be very anti narcissism and they will not be particularly welcome to such a person.

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https://youtu.be/AxSPTENOZIk

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The difficulty overcoming a relationship with a narcissist and escaping the cognitive dissonance and Traumabond, can be understood by analysis of the relationship’s illusory nature. An evil Hall of Reflections/mirrors from the Narcissist to their target distorts their partners grip on reality and negatively effects their decision making process.

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https://youtu.be/plcryxXiq8w

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Three criteria impact the expediency of a narcissists hoovering an ex back into the formal relationship examined in this podcast. Just one of the circumstances may be enough to determine a hoover attempt sooner rather than later, but all three situations being aligned will cause an earlier re engagement..

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https://youtu.be/Qg0YBFYkoSU

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Narcissists hook their targets in through a form of love bombing validation in order to secure them for narcissistic supply extraction. The target’s self belief is manipulated to rise on the narcissists instruction covertly and fall accordingly in the devaluation phase. A prime example of honing in on negative self beliefs and amplifying them for gain can be seen in Megan Markles takeover of Prince Harry’s unresolved familial issues. Overcoming the distortion of the self is an intricate process, once the relationship with a narcissist has ended, but so much easier with knowledge about NPD and it’s consequences on other individuals.

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https://youtu.be/2Np8ceTlv-4

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Cognitive Dissonance is very debilitating until we understand who lives behind the narcissist’s mask, who or what is the operating force behind the fake persona. From inception, to development, to adult presentation understanding the identity or maturity of the narcissist is crucial to healing.

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https://youtu.be/6vd6RDlD8F8

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If a Narcissist isn’t classified as Evil but they carry out destructive actions how do we define those actions? This podcast looks at narcissism in the overall context of whether NPD is JUST a personality disorder or is there a spiritual element involved in certain behaviours that cannot be explained away by physiology or psychology.

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https://youtu.be/D8OuhxnPeLo

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The Narcissist’s Smear Campaign is an essential part of their agenda in justifying the means they use to take from you all the can and ultimately throw you under the bus as if you deserved this outcome. Part 1 of this mini series looks at the inception and beginnings of the gradual build up of the smearing of your person to Part 2 and the benefits to the Narcissist in activating an open campaign against you. Part 3 will cover how best to deal with the Narcissists smear campaign.

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Book Availability: To Grin and Bear is available locally in the Bell, Book and Candle, Kenny’s bookstore and Charlie Byrne’s bookshop. It’s also available at Amazon.com paperback ISBN 9781913108717 or through Mike’s website: www.togrinandbear.com

About the Author: Mike Flannery is an artist from Galway city, he is represented by The Kenny gallery where he participates in many themed and group exhibitions on a vast array of subject matters. More of Mike’s work can be found at his art website: www.mikeflannery.ie

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