Neuroshambles

Why do so many autistic and ADHD kids put on a brave face at school - only to melt down at home? Masking is a survival strategy for so many of our neurodivergent children. Pete Wharmby joins Mark to talk about why they do it, what the long terms affects are on their sense of self, and how we can help them unmask safely.

They explore the school environment, social pressures and internalised expectations that drive masking behaviour - often at great emotional cost.

Pete shares his personal journey of unmasking as an adult, and how he’s helping his own child feel accepted without having to perform. Mark reflects on the challenge of supporting a child who seems “fine” to outsiders – and the guilt that comes when parents question their own instincts.

If you’re looking for a neurodivergent parenting podcast episode that unpacks this essential topic with warmth, honesty and wisdom, this is it.

Pete Wharmby's website - https://petewharmby.com/

"Untypical" by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/35cWwBh

Alexis Quinn - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/stories/stories-from-the-spectrum-alexis-quinn

University of Edinburgh study in autistic communication with other autistics - https://salvesen-research.ed.ac.uk/our-projects/autistic-autistic-communication

Autistic code switching - https://myautismmind.com/autism-masking/

Autistic Girls Network - https://autisticgirlsnetwork.org/

Lego hidden disabilities sunflower - https://hdsunflower.com/uk/insights/post/the-lego-group-joins-hidden-disabilities-sunflower

"What I Want To Talk About" by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/3HoKSt9

CONTACT US

If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: [email protected]

Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles

TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod

Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles

Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles

The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

What do you do when you find out that you know more than the “experts” who are supposed to be helping you? In this episode, Mark is joined by Charlotte Mountford to talk about navigating services and seeking support for neurodivergent children.

This episode deals with the familiar frustration of having to deal with the professionals who are gatekeepers to the accommodations our neurodifferent kids need. From teachers, whose evidence you have to seek in order to get a diagnosis, to CAMHS specialists, GPs, occupational therapists and paediatricians - the list of professionals we need to interact with is dizzying.

Together, they also explore the disconnect between lived experience and professional expertise - and why parents so often become the real experts through necessity.

If you’re a parent of an autistic, ADHD or PDA child and have ever come away from a meeting less supported than when you went in, this episode is for you. 

"Outliers: The Story of Success" by Malcolm Gladwell - https://amzn.eu/d/91hZpN4

Dean Beadle Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/deanbeadlespeaker/ 

Dean Beadle Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/dean.beadlespeaker

Dan Beadle YouTube - https://youtube.com/@deanbeadleuk

Eliza Fricker - https://missingthemark.co.uk/

Kieran Rose - https://theautisticadvocate.com/

"Bilal's Bad Day" by Neelum Khan - https://amzn.eu/d/5amH9zO

"Neurotypicals don't juggle chainsaws" podcast - https://neurotypicalsdontjugglechainsaws.co.uk/

Liz Evans: The Untypical OT - https://the-untypical-ot.co.uk/

Badger Education Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/badger.education

CONTACT US

If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: [email protected]

Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles

TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod

Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles

Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles

The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

Why do simple hygiene routines, like brushing teeth or taking a bath, feel like impossible mountains to climb when you're raising ADHD, autistic or PDA kids? Rebecca Huseyin joins Mark to discuss one of the most frustrating (and least talked about) aspects of neurodivergent parenting: personal hygiene.

They explore how sensory sensitivities, executive dysfunction, and demand avoidance can turn everyday tasks into full-blown standoffs. Rebecca shares her own experiences with honesty and humour, and how she’s adapted her expectations to support her child.

They swap tales of the ludicrous lengths they go to when trying to navigate personal hygiene tasks, such as cleaning hands, wiping faces, brushing teeth, having baths, cutting fingernails and wiping bums.

There are some hilarious anecdotes about the lengths to which Mark and Rebecca go to encourage their kids to engage in hygiene tasks - from fake drowning them in the bath, cleaning their teeth like a Victorian ghost and introducing the concept of "special dry".

The Lighter Side of PDA Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/LighterPDA/

Rebecca Huseyin blog (A Boy Less Ordinary) - https://aboylessordinary.com/

SENDIASS - (Google for your local county SENDIASS details)

PDA Society - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/

Proprioception and Interoception: https://www.autismspeaks.org/sensory-issues

Oranurse unflavoured toothpaste - https://oranurse.co.uk/unflavoured-toothpaste/

Little teeth toothpaste - https://www.aquafresh.com/en-gb/our-products/kids-oral-care/little-teeth-toothpaste/

Big teeth toothpaste - https://www.aquafresh.com/en-gb/our-products/kids-oral-care/big-teeth-toothpaste/

The Prism Cat - https://linktr.ee/KyraChambers  

Tesco Mobile Sensory Box - https://bettersociety.net/tesco-mobile-sensory-box.php

Insanity Arcade, Poole - https://www.insanityarcade.com/home

CONTACT US

If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: [email protected]

Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles

TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod

Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles

Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles

The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

Mark welcomes back the phenomenal Heidi Mavir, who is an  author, a neurodivergent advocate, activist, public speaker and Mum of a neurodifferent son (20, diagnosed autistic with a tic disorder, as well as suspected dyslexia and  Ehlers Danlos Syndrome). They pick up on a topic they very briefly touched on in the previous episode they recorded, which is whether there's any truth to the commonly-held belief that autistics don't feel empathy (spoiler alert - that view is abject nonsense).

They dissect the very concept of empathy to try and understand why it's viewed as so important to neurotypicals, what "the double empathy problem" is and why our kids' way of displaying and responding to empathy is so varied.

This is a genuinely insightful episode that gives a lot of food for thought when considering whether our own kids are able to feel empathy.

Heidi Mavir EOTAS Matters website - https://www.heidimavir.com/

"Your Child Is Not Broken" by Heidi Mavir - https://amzn.eu/d/8di4y0X

"Why Can't I Just Enjoy Things?" by Pierre Novellie - https://amzn.eu/d/fd51tDR

"How To Win Friends and Influence People" - https://amzn.eu/d/fd51tDR

The Double Empathy Problem - https://reframingautism.org.au/miltons-double-empathy-problem-a-summary-for-non-academics/

"I Didn't See You There" by Charlotte Gail - https://amzn.to/3PUk4n1

Sesame Street Introduce Autistic Character - https://youtu.be/dKCdV20zLMs

Muppet Christmas Carol - https://youtu.be/JXaVI60BFJM

Heidi Mavir on TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@heidimavir

CONTACT US

If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: [email protected]

Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles

TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod

Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles

Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles

The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

Should you medicate your child? And how do you cope with the guilt, fear and stigma that comes with making that decision? Danielle Jata-Hall joins Mark for a candid, compassionate and non-judgemental chat about medication.

They discuss the medication journeys they've been on with their own kids, from overcoming their initial misgivings and dealing with the judgement of others, to the administrative nightmare of trying to get medication prescribed by medical professionals.

Danielle also bravely opens up about her infuriating experience of being accused of FII (Fabricated and Induced Illness) by the very people she'd turned to for help.

A vital episode for any parent navigating medication options and craving reassurance that they’re not alone.

"The Journey Into S.E.N.D Fatherhood" book - https://amzn.eu/d/0qwN0il

Danielle Jata-Hall blog - https://pdaparenting.com/

Newbold Hope -  https://www.newboldhope.com/

FII (Fabricated or Induced Illness) - https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/fabricated-or-induced-illness/overview/

"The Parent's Guide to ADHD Medicines" book - https://amzn.eu/d/i2e73JM

Shared Care - https://www.england.nhs.uk/medicines-2/regional-medicines-optimisation-committees-advice/shared-care-protocols/

"I'm Not Upside Down, I'm Downside Up" book - https://amzn.eu/d/avsMxy2

"Black Rainbow" book - https://amzn.eu/d/he1Nd8K

"Steph's Two Girls" blog with tips on getting your child to take medication - https://www.stephstwogirls.co.uk/2020/01/top-tips-when-your-child-wont-take.html

"A boy less ordinary" blog - https://aboylessordinary.com/

CONTACT US

If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics or suggestions for neurodiversity champions you'd like us to give a shout out to, you can email: [email protected]

Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles

TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod

Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles

Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles

The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

What was it like to raise an autistic child 30 years ago? Mark has a fascinating chat with Stephanie - his wonderful neighbour from over the road, whose autistic son is now an adult.

They discuss how parents of autistic children were able to navigate the process of understanding how best to raise their kids, without access to the internet, social media or the breadth of information we have available now? 

This is an enlightening and surprisingly uplifting episode about autistic parenting, which shines a light on just how far society has come in a relatively short space of time, when it comes to understanding, supporting and championing our neurodivergent kids.

Disneyland, Paris - https://www.disneylandparis.com/en-gb/

Echolalia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echolalia

The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Eric Carle - https://amzn.eu/d/boDv6wN

Rain Man - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rain_Man

The Essential Different, Simon Baron Cohen - https://amzn.eu/d/3Y5xgWv

Gentle Parenting - https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/on-babies/202405/gentle-parenting-doesnt-mean-permissive-parenting

Leonardo Da Vinci - https://www.independent.co.uk/news/health/leonardo-da-vinci-adhd-health-mona-lisa-a8927641.html

Social Stories - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/communication/communication-tools/social-stories-and-comic-strip-coversations

Supported Employment - https://www.base-uk.org/about/members/brighton-hove-city-council

Fare Share - https://fareshare.org.uk/

Oxfam - https://jobs.oxfam.org.uk/jobs/home/

Leonardslee Gardens - www.leonardsleegardens.co.uk/

CONTACT US

If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics or suggestions for neurodiversity champions you'd like us to give a shout out to, you can email: [email protected]

Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles

TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod

Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles

Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles

The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

Belle joins Mark to explore why transport can be a sensory, emotional and logistical nightmare when you’re raising neurodivergent children.

They discuss unpredictable delays, overcrowding, transitions and the sheer panic that sets in when you realise that things are not going to go as planned.

It’s funny, affirming and will make you feel seen if you’ve ever had to navigate a journey with your autistic, ADHD or PDA child and had to abandon it half way through.

Gatwick Airport Special Assistance - https://www.gatwickairport.com/passenger-guides/special-assistance.html

Ferry cabins (DFDS) - https://www.dfds.com/en-gb/passenger-ferries/onboard/newhaven-dieppe/sleeping

Jen Marillat, Dramatherapist - https://jenmarillat.com/

Health and Care Professions Council - https://www.hcpc-uk.org/

The British Association of Dramatherapists - https://www.badth.org.uk/ 

EMDR Therapy - https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/eye-movement-desensitisation-and-reprocessing-emdr

Riding For the Disabled Association (RDA) - https://rda.org.uk/

Aspens, East Sussex - https://www.aspens.org.uk/

CONTACT US

If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics or suggestions for neurodiversity champions you'd like us to give a shout out to, you can email: [email protected]

Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles

TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod

Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles

Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles

The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

Lisa Lloyd joins Mark to tackle one of the toughest parts of neurodivergent parenting - judgement. From strangers tutting in the supermarket to relatives offering “helpful” advice, it can feel like the world is watching, and disapproving.

They swap tales about comments they receive from people judging their children ("He's not autistic, he's just naughty"), judging their parenting ("He wouldn't act like that if he was my son") and judging the entire concept of neurodivergency ("It's just a label"). They discuss the misconceptions that cause people to act this way, as well as the appropriate responses you can give them in return.

Lisa explains how she built resilience and a community of understanding, while Mark talks about learning to let go of needing to be understood.

This autism and ADHD parenting podcast episode is a powerful, funny and validating conversation for anyone who’s ever felt scrutinised, criticised, or blamed for doing their best.

Raising the Sen-Betweeners, Lisa Lloyd - https://amzn.eu/d/4hm6Sb0

SEND Reform England - https://www.sendreformengland.com/

Lisa Lloyd Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/asd_with_a_g_and_t/

Lisa Lloyd TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@asd.with.a.g.and.t

Lisa Lloyd Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/ASDwithGandT

CONTACT US

If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics or suggestions for neurodiversity champions you'd like us to give a shout out to, you can email: [email protected]

Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles

TikTok:https: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod

Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles

Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles

The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

Comparison is the thief of joy - and nowhere is that truer than in SEND parenting. Samuel Wilson returns to talk with Mark about resisting the pressure to keep pace with neurotypical milestones.

They explore how school, family, and social media can fuel comparison, and the emotional impact of feeling like you’re “behind”.

Samuel shares how he’s learned to celebrate his child’s progress on their own terms, and Mark discusses the freedom that comes from letting go.

If you’re looking for an autism parenting podcast episode that’s both validating and liberating, this one is for you.

Simpsons clip - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=784seqWxsMk&t=469s

Dad La Soul - https://www.dadlasoul.com/

BBC Woman’s Hour - https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0022ss7

India Croc replacement saga - https://www.instagram.com/p/C9hLMewpBH6/

"Lend a Hand", Samuel Wilson's book - www.littlestepspublishing.co.uk/books/lend-a-hand

CONTACT US

If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics or suggestions for neurodiversity champions you'd like us to give a shout out to, you can email: [email protected]

Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles

Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles

Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles

The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

It’s a question many parents of neurodivergent children have whispered: “Is this behaviour just a result of their neurotype - or is my kid actually an arsehole?” Mark is joined by Kate Ebbutt for an unfiltered chat about the guilt, fear and frustration behind this very real concern.

They explore compassion fatigue, judgement from others, and the emotional toll of parenting children who challenge every boundary.

They also discuss to what extent the gentle parenting approach could be contributing to this behaviour, as well as recounting experiences of times where they've had to explain their parenting choices to neurotypicals who struggle to understand their approach.

It’s a brave, honest conversation hilariously relatable episode that will make all parents of autistic, ADHD or PDA kids feel seen.

"The Explosive Child" book - https://drrossgreene.com/the-explosive-child.htm

Gentle Parenting - https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/style/what-is-gentle-parenting/

National Trust - https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/

RAM (Random Access Memory) - https://www.ign.com/articles/what-is-ram

Sheffield Queer Parents - https://sites.google.com/view/sheffield-queer-parents

Angling 4 Education - https://www.angling4education.com/

CONTACT US

If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics or suggestions for neurodiversity champions you'd like us to give a shout out to, you can email: [email protected]

Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles

Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles

Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles

The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/