In today’s episode, we cover self-mastery with Dr. Michael Gervais. Michael is one of the world's top high performance psychologists and leading experts on the relationship between the mind and human performance, and the author of The First Rule of Mastery: Stop Worrying about What People Think of You.

Being social creatures is a double edged sword because we can rely on others to survive and get ahead in life, but with that comes the crippling concern of what others think about us, so how do you disregard the opinions of others so you can focus your efforts on what you need to do to reach your potential?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

What is FOPO and why is one of the greatest constrictors of human potential?

Why is FOPO the first step to mastery?



Overcome the doubt that crushes everyone else – 12:17

How do you stop worrying about what everyone thinks of you?

How do you make yourself significantly more attractive without changing anything about your outward appearance?  



What do pros do under pressure that no one else does – 23:20

What is Ricky Fowler’s secret to excelling under the same pressure that crushes amateur athletes?

What is the difference between a performance-based mindset and a purpose-based mindset?



The secret to living a life most people never can – 33:38

What steps can you take to focus on your purpose and disregard the opinions and expectations of everyone around you?



Lone wolves will never reach the same level these people do – 44:58

What prevents loners from reaching their full potential?

Why do you need other people in order to reach your full potential?


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Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts.
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Overcoming Fear of Other People’s Opinions | Dr. Michael Gervais

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In today’s episode, we tackle mind magic and manifestation with Dr. James Doty. James is an inventor, an entrepreneur, and philanthropist. He is a clinical professor of neurosurgery at Stanford University and the founder and director of Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education with the Dalai Lama himself as the founding benefactor. His new book is titled Mind Magic: The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything. 

We break down the systems in the brain responsible for shaping your beliefs and actions, how you can harness the power of your subconscious mind to reach your goals faster, why you need to visualize your success in detail to make it a reality, And James shares his own experiences with the magic of our mind.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

What is mind magic and what does science say about the legitimacy of manifestation?



This is where most people go wrong trying to manifest their desires – 10:15

Where do most of us go wrong with manifestation versus what should we be focusing on with our manifestation to actually be whole, to be living a rich and fulfilling life?

How can we use our neural networks to increase the chances of manifesting what we want?



The secret to focusing in a world of neverending distractions – 24:17

How are self-compassion, focus, and manifestation linked together?

How should you define success if you are trying to manifest success for yourself or others?



What should you focus on if you want to manifest what you want – 34:21

What is the most important aspect of life you need to focus on if you want physical and mental health and a long life?


How does commitment to action transform intentions into reality? – 39:06

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Harness Your Unconscious Mind for Success | Dr. James Doty

In today’s episode, we tackle the world of high stakes hostage negotiation in a divided world with Scott Walker. Scott is one of the world’s most experienced kidnapped-for-ransom negotiators. He served 16 years as a Scotland Yard detective specializing in covert policing, then supported organizations, governments, and private individuals in negotiating the release of hostages all over the world, and is the author of his the latest book, Order Out of Chaos: A Kidnap Negotiator's Guide to Influence and Persuasion.

You’re going to learn how to prepare for high stakes situations like a hostage negotiator. We discuss how to quickly build rapport with people that you do not share common interests with, what to listen for in negotiations to create a winning outcome, how to develop your emotional intelligence to be successful under stress, and the secrets hostage negotiators use to bring back hostages safely.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

How frequently do people get kidnapped and held for ransom?

What are the biggest challenges that hostage negotiators face?



The first 30 seconds of a hostage situation are crucial for this reason – 15:53

What secret do hostage negotiators use to rapidly build trust with anyone?

What 30 second practice do hostage negotiators use to prepare themselves for every high stakes situation?



What consequences do kidnappers actually face? – 24:25

How do you cultivate the right mindset to be a master negotiator?

What can you do to predict the biggest hurdles you’ll need to overcome in any negotiation?

What are the 3 elements to every negotiation and how can you use them in your everyday life to build strong relationships?



Most people mistakenly think this is when the negotiation ends – 39:34

How should you think about negotiations on a short- and long-term basis to make sure you don’t hurt your reputation or future potential opportunities?



Hostage negotiators have to care about the kidnappers – 48:36

How do hostage negotiators raise their self awareness before entering high stakes situations?

How do you master your emotions like a hostage negotiator by simply asking yourself specific questions?

What are the biggest takeaways from Order Out of Chaos: A Kidnap Negotiator's Guide to Influence and Persuasion?


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Advanced Negotiation Tactics from a Hostage Negotiator | Scott Walker

In today’s episode, we tackle building relationships in a divided world with Dr. Kurt Gray. Kurt is an award-winning researcher and moral psychologist with deep insights into human behavior and polarization. As a professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, he directs the Deepest Beliefs Lab and the Center for the Science of Moral Understanding. He is also the author of The Mind Club: Who Thinks, What Feels, and Why It Matters, exploring the intricacies of how we perceive and judge others in society. 

Have you ever considered how rising polarization affects our ability to forge strong, meaningful relationships? What if bridging the vast divide between differing viewpoints could be achieved by examining our moral compass and the inherent blind spots it creates? Dive into a compelling discussion with Dr. Kurt Gray, who sheds light on the subtle yet profound ways morality shapes our perceptions of others.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

What are Dr. Gray's strategies for strengthening relationships across ideological divides?

How do our default settings of fear and the search for allies affect our political and social views?



This is why most people can’t engage in tough conversations – 14:09

Why is it challenging to discuss politics and morality today? 

What are the key strategies for overcoming polarization and enhancing communication in today's divided world?



The secret to bridging political polarization – 24:38

Why is validating someone's views crucial in conversations, and how can it be done without agreeing?

Why are personal stories more powerful than facts in changing perspectives?



The evolving nature of political identities – 36:17

How have our political identities evolved over time, and what does that mean for our current views?

How significant is the overlap of values shared between different political parties, and why is it often overlooked?

What misconceptions do we hold about political polarization, and how can understanding the past help us better navigate the present?



The predator vs prey narrative in politics – 47:17

How does viewing political opponents as predators or prey affect our ability to engage in meaningful conversations?

What are the 3 steps to connecting with people who you disagree with?


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Networking & Relationships in a Polarized World | Kurt Gray

In today’s episode, we tackle the Ask Approach with Jeff Wetzler. Jeff is a world expert in learning and human potential, has more than 25 years' experience in business and education as a management consultant at the world's top organizations, and is the author of his latest book, Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs In Leadership and Life. 

Have you ever pondered why analytical thinkers often find themselves at a crossroads in communication and networking? What if the key to unlocking exceptional leadership and life-changing relationships lies in the questions we ask? How can shifting our approach from problem-solving to curiosity-driven conversations revolutionize our connections? Dive deep with us as we explore the Ask Approach, a transformative framework designed to bridge the gap between analytical prowess and emotional intelligence.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

Who is Jeff Wetzler, and how can his "Ask Approach" transform your leadership skills and life?

What holds people back from sharing vital information, and how does it affect decision-making?



The secret to strengthening your curiosity muscle – 10:52

Why is curiosity essential for building stronger personal and professional relationships?

How can curiosity unlock problem-solving and collaboration in the workplace?



Make people feel safe enough to tell you anything – 17:41

What can you do if you want to make people feel safe and comfortable telling you information they normally would not?



How to start on the right foot in a new management position – 24:29

What questions can you ask to make sure your team feels safe following your leadership and comfortable enough to help you understand where the weaknesses are in the organization? 



Is it possible to ask too many questions – 34:14

What types of questions foster deeper understanding?

How can you listen more effectively?

How can reflecting and reconnecting based on conversations enhance your communication skills?


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Next Level Listening (The Ask Approach) | Jeff Wetzler

In today’s episode, we tackle attachment with Nicholas Epley. Nick is an expert on human behavior and decision making, a professor of behavioral science and faculty director for decision research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, the author of the highly acclaimed book Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want. 

Ever wonder why some people excel in social situations while others struggle? How can understanding the biases that lead us to believe we're effective mind readers of friends and strangers alike transform our interactions? And what simple strategies can we employ to build real connections quickly? Join us as Nick Epley sheds light on these intriguing questions, offering insights from his acclaimed book "Mindwise" and revealing the secret to truly understanding what others think, believe, feel, and want.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

What is the biggest problem that stops us from being able to better understand and predict what other people think?

How well do we really know what others think and feel?



Dispelling the biggest myth about our brains – 13:36

Why does the biggest myth about how we use our brains continue to persist and why is it wrong?

How does perspective drastically change one person’s understanding of a situation and what can you do to alleviate the inevitable friction that difference in perspective causes?



The biggest hurdles most people struggle with when reading minds – 18:55

What are the dangers of typing vs. talking in our ability to convey sarcasm and understand each other?

How does our prediction of future behaviors or reactions in extreme situations often mislead us?

When are stereotypes useful and when are they harmful?



Dispelling the biggest myth about political polarization – 35:47

Is the country actually becoming more polarized politically or is something else going on that makes us think we’re becoming more polarized?



The importance of direct communication most people miss – 41:59

What is the best way to make any interaction with a stranger into a positive one that can lead to friendship or romance? 



Most people won’t do this to create deeper relationships in their lives – 58:40

What do most people avoid doing even though it’s the best way to create the deep relationships they want in their lives?


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Overcoming Fear of Other People’s Opinions | Dr. Michael Gervais

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